"That one bounced!"
"Holy shit dude, that was luck!" Brody said, the M3 Lee's round bounced of my turret, I took a quick shot, only to miss, forcing me to dive under to reload.
"Cmon man! Take his ass out!" Frank yelled
"Holy shit Frank shut up or I'll charge him and die." I angrily said, losing hearing my right ear
"Alright me geez, don't blow this triple XP game man, I got four kills." Frank complained
"Yea and I got six, and if this bastard would show himself, I'll have seven." I pointed out. I sat there, behind a different bush, waiting for the Lee to come back out. He poked out again, unfortunately, for him, he has to expose his whole tank to shoot. He quickly drove out, stood still for a second and blew up in a glorious ball of fire.
"Got the son of a bitch!" I yelled
"About time." Frank muttered
"Fuck you Frank, I smoke your ass on the range and I smoke you on World of Tanks too." I said, bringing up my better range scores
"Aw hell man." Frank whined
"Just a reminder, ladies. When we left Afghanistan I had a higher body count." Brody brought up.
"Yea, too bad you barely passed math in high school. I can hear you counting now '1, 3, 34, 54'." Frank said. Brody started talking to his girlfriend in the background and cut of his mic, Frank promptly began to making sex nosies in the background.
"Alright guys, I'm off to have a delicious homecooked meal. See ya suckers!" Brody said
"I may go down to the bar man, you wanna go too?" Frank asked
"Nah, I'm gonna stay away from the dating scene for a while." I replied. I walked in my girlfriend one day blowing some other guy, needless to say we were done after that.
"Alright man, besides, I never said we had to score." He said
"Meh, I'm good anyway."
"Alright man suit yourself." Frank said, and he got off. I was solo for a bit and started playing random games. I got up and sat down on my bed and started to read 1901 by Robert Conroy, it's a historical fiction novel about Imperial Germany invading the Northeastern U.S. My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, before closing and I fell asleep.
3rd Person POV
Dan was asleep, back against the wall, chin resting on his chest and his hand with the book hanging over the edge of the bed. His hand relaxed its grip and he tilted over, a soft green wormhole opened up over Dan and pulled him up.
End Of Backstory
Dan POV
I sat there thinking about my last day on earth, I still have no clue how I got here. I was reflecting on this last week, waking up on different planet and in a tank, killing some things, getting poisoned. Good times. One glanced up and saw the girls plus AppleBloom and Sweetie Belle walking towards us, there was some lizard looking guy with them. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a dragon or something like that, I mean they have wolves made of wood, why not fire-breathing dragons?
"Why did you leave?" Twilight asked when she came over, leaning on the tank.
"Because everyone started to randomly sing. What's up with that anyway?" I said
"It's caused by magic in the air, which comes from the Everfree and spreads around the world. Ponies sing all the time, but in a public setting, that magic is amplified. The magic slowly seeps into our bodies over time, which allows for unicorns to do magic, pegasi to fly and control the weather-" She explained before I interrupted her
"Pegasi can control the weather?!" I asked
"Yea, we can. Watch this!" Rainbow Dash said and flew off. She grabbed some clouds, piled them together, stood on it and jumped, the cloud began to rain. She jumped some more and the cloud darkened, sparks were flying out of it before she jumped out and gave it a swift kick, breaking it up.
"Meh- Uhhh- Bu." was all I was able to sputter out. Everyone laughed at my reaction.
"I know you said that humans don't have magic or wings, but who controls the weather." Twilight asked
"The planet does, best we can do is predict where it'll rain or snow." I told her
"Are there ir no other sentient species on Earth?" Twilight asked
"You mean as in able to walk and talk like you and I." I asked her, trying to understand what she meant.
"Yep"
"In that case no. What about you guys?" I said, they were all surprised by that all.
"On Equis there's ponies, griffons, dragons, minotaurs, zebras and diamond dogs." She told me
"When you mean griffons, you mean half-lion half eagle right?" I asks shed in disbelief
"Yea."
"And I'm a dragon." Said the purple and green guy.
"This is Spike, he's my number one assistant." Twilight said
"No offense here Spike, but on my world, dragons in stories are usually the size of a house and can breathe fire and like to eat meat." I told him
"I'm a baby dragon." Spike began to say, and he breathed a little fire "and I eat fruits, veggies and gemstones." He said
"Gemstones? As in rubies, emeralds and diamonds gemstones?" I asked him
"Yea." He simply said
"Whoa..." I quietly said..
We went inside Twlight's house so I can tell them more about me or something like that. We went into some large living room where we all sat. Twilight summoned a pen and a quill, and began to ask me questions.
"Name?"
"Daniel Allen" What? I parents didn't give me a middle name.
"Species?"
"Human, although the scientific term is homo sapien."
"Age?"
"23"
"Place of Birth?"
"Do you mean country or town?"
"Country."
"United States of America."
"Occupation?"
"God of war... and kittens." I said with a deadpan face, they all looked at me.
"You're lyin'" Applejack said
"Am I?" I asked
"Ah'm the Element of Honesty for a reason." Applejack said with a deadpan look
"Yea! Too bad you can't lie to save your life!" Rainbow Dash said, causing everyone to laugh and AJ to pull her hat down over her face.
"So, what's your REAL occupation?"
"Marine." Twilight stopped writing and looked up at me.
"What does a Marine do?"
"A Marine is a type of soldier, but they receive more training and usually are based in naval ships." I explained
"So you were in the military?"
"Yes."
"D-Did you ever fight?" She stuttered
"I did two tours in Afghanistan. I came home from the second one last month."
Rainbow Dash jumped up and got in my face "What gives you the right to go invade another country?!" She yelled at me, I jumped up and said
"THEY gave us that right when they killed 3,000 innocent people fifteen years ago." She sat back down, they all had looks of shock on their faces.
"W-What did they do?" Twilight stammered out
"They hijacked four planes, these big metal machines humans use to fly, and crashed them into two buildings in the largest city in my country and another into the building for national defense. The fourth one was heading to some other government building, but the people on it, tried to take control of it, but it crashed in a field. Those people are seen as heroes for what they did." I explained "It was one of the reasons I joined the Marines after I graduated from high school." Everyone was silent for a minute, still taking in everything I just told them.
"What was the other reason? That is i-if you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy barely whispered
"I couldn't afford college." I anticipated the next question and continued "My parents were only nineteen when I was born, after a few months my mother left me and my dad. He worked two jobs to save up for me to go to college, but.... but that money went to his cancer treatment instead." I said, clearing m throat to prevent any tears.
"Oh my." Fluitershy said, there was silence for a minute. I looked at the ground in front of me, until my felt a pair of hands envelope me, followed by several others. I was surprised by this, they barely knew me. Most people whenever I told them that story they just said 'Sorry to hear that' or something similar. They slowly pulled away and we began to talk again. We sat there for hours just talking and exhanging stories. I told about the history of humanity, things like the Roman and British Empire. I thought it was all normal until Twilight said something that caught me by complete surprise.
"Okay, next set of questions, Sex!" Twilight exclaimed, I sat up at the speed of light
"Whoa!" I mouthed to her "Should they even be here?" She just nodded
"Just because we're fourteen, doesn't mean we don't know about it." Scootaloo said, looking pissed.
"There's a difference of knowing and having done it. Do you REALLY have to this conversation?"
"Yes." Twilight said, I just groaned and rubbed my eyes
"Okay, fine. First question." I said
"What's the female to male ratio?"
"About 50/50. Why?"
"Wow," was all any of them said, Twilight continued
"The ratio here is about eight mares to every three stallions because of this imbalance herds are a common thing."
I was confused. Herds? I know their ponies, but still.
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's when a group of mares choose a stallion or a mare and a stallion decide to form a herd and invite another mare to the group." Rarity explained.
"So polygamy is legal?" I asked
"Yes. What about humans?" Twilight asked
"Well, polygamy isn't needed, so to say, because of the even ratio, but in some parts on the world it's legal. Usually, when a man and a woman date for a few months or a year, they would get married and stay together for life. However, if one cheats on the other, can could get a divorce." I explained to them
"So human relationships are closed?" Twilight asked
"What do you mean?" I asked, this whole thing was beginning to confuse me
"Well, ponies are extremely open in their relationship, it's not uncommon to have sex with somepony you met earlier in the day, in fact, we after we all met we-"
"LALALALALA!" I said covering my ears, wanting to change the direction of the conversation.
They were surprised when I told them that humans have gone to space and even the moon. I showed them my phone, currently useless, they pointed out how similar it was to theirs. They were about to give me their numbers when I told them that my service probably doesn't cover other planets. While we sat around talking, whole building shook for a moment followed by a large boom. I immediately thought someone went in my tank and fired a shell. Worse if it hit a building and was a white phosphorus shell. I ran down the hall and into the pitch-black foyer.
SURPRISE!!! The lights quickly were turned on, blinding me. While my eyes were covered by the crook of my elbow, someone hugged me tightly, squishing their breasts into me.
"Are you surprised? Huh? Huh?" The voice asked me, I removed my arm from my face and looked at her. I recognized her as the other girl I met at the hospital. Even though she was about five foot eight, her hair was taller than me and I have half a foot on her. I removed her spinal cord breaking hug from my back and looked around the room. There were a bunch of kids and a park pink woman with them, Big Mac and a few other guys, Lyra and her girlfriend and various other ponies I saw today. Hanging from the ceiling was a large poster
Welcome to Ponyville/Equestria/Thanks for saving the foals Party!!. I turned back to the all pink woman and asked her
"Did you plan this?"
"Yuperoni! I'm Pinkie Pie, Ponyville's Party Premir Pony." She said, giving me a big smile that threatened to spilt her face in two, and somehow gave a squeaky toy like noise. She turned around and yelled
"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!" and with that everyone began to talk and dub step began to play.
AN: Boom! Out a day earlier, sorry for the wait, school and being sick killed me these last few weeks. Also next chapter Another human shows up, I'm thinking a German or Russian. I'll figure it out later. Good luck with my little black out is about ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ