This story is a sequel to A Tale of Two Twilights
After learning about her human self and the events that transpired in Friendship Games, Princess Twilight Sparkle and Spike make it a mission to learn more about the humans that Sunset has lived with for years. Everything seems to be moving along swimmingly, but when magic begins to terrorize the Rainbooms from an outside force, the two Equestrians learn that a lot has changed since that fateful night during the Fall Formal.
Meanwhile, Sunset Shimmer's human counterpart is preparing for the investigation that would either launch her career to new heights, or destroy it in an instant.
Chapters (12)
That was pretty cool. I can't wait for more.
I thought Equis wasn't part of America…or something.
So, who was that woman with the talisman, and what was she trying to do?
6661456 My headcanon is the human country of Equis sits close to America, and the talisman woman will be revealed later
Watch and be amazed as a story goes from zero to sixty in one paragraph flat.
Where the hell did all this come from? Suddenly Twilight and Sunset are agents fighting the missuse of magic and acting like it's a daily thing? Suddenly an unknown person is warping people through time for no apparent reason? And what the heck was the radio talking about?
I don't remember anything about this mentioned in the last story. These aren't just plot holes, you're missing a citywide block of information here. Am I missing an entire other story inbetween the two or something?
6714016 I recognize this and I will update the second chapter when its finished. The chapter is coming off of what I believe will be the humans protecting against other magical anomalies that Sunset stated might occur in the Friendship Games. Let me try to close this city gap in a few chapters
Btw, thank you for your support
6714182 ah okay I can see where you're coming from a bit better.
I'd say when the radio finished it's report a conversation between Sunset and Twilight about the steps that have started being taken to protect against magic might have helped the flow.
Without the story recognizing that as new or with Twilight ignoring it we're left to assume it's old hat to her and that we should already know what's going on there.
Similarly with the incident/fight scene. With Twilight and Sunset acting like it was a normal occurrence it ends up feeling like they were there for the mystery person the whole time.
Mind you I'm not much of a writer myself, but I find it's easier to notice flaws as the reader rather than the writer
6714349 Right, and I see your points. I will go through it once again and make the necessary changes. Also, the King K. character has already made an appearance in a old fic on my account. I will update the next chapter hopefully tomorrow
Tirek :
Okay, some certain pony-counterparts are clearly working on being superheroes!
1.5 / 10
That was pretty interesting.
Miss Shimmer is approaching.
It's a pity that the girls haven't learned yet how to call on their powers at will. Getting Mrs Nightshade to cooperate would have been a lot easier if Rarity could have made her coffee table do slow mid-air somersaults!
6785833 Itd be Star Wars Episode VI all over again haha
I was expecting much more of the Ottoman Empire but... it's good to see that you mentioned that
Mehmed the Conqueror's forces destroyed the Byzantine Empire and replaced it with the Ottoman Empire.
Wonder whose this Lord puppet man speaks of? Someone from Equestria I presume
6797902 This wasn't where I was going to fully encorporate the Ottoman Empire into EQG but thank you anyway
Okay, I'm putting down my marker here: That guy is a pony. He has too much in-depth magical knowledge to be a human who either stumbled across it by chance or has been researching the activities of Equestrians on this Earth.
Describing someone doing an action, then dialogue, then someone else doing the talking is very very confusing. I had to reread this a couple times thinking spike was the one talking before I noticed you swapped focus mid text chunk.
You do it a couple times but most of the chunks are written without this problem so it's probably a small error.
6830434 Thank you for your input, I returned to the chapter and fixed some of the major problems in here. If there is anything else, let me know
Is Ms. Shimmer under mind control?
Well this should be interesting....
Nice update.
"He tried to bring hell to Earth. Instead, we gave him his own personal hell where the monsters he believed he served would demonstrate to him just how little worth they give to a pawn that has failed them."
Great, an idiot named Armageddon wanting to subject both worlds to his namesake.
alright! another fantastic chapter, what a great story this is! bravo to you , on your fine story!
This is a nice chapter. Showing a nice breather chapter before the next adventure and also character backstory of Sunset
I got the reference to the another story Never Have I Ever.
All I have to say is that a Rarity/SciTwi technology line would be glorious. It would have form,function, and practicality!
Well, this is horribly, horribly, horribly, terribly, bad!
Welp, time to get smart and kick some flank.
More like their resume WAS a lie.
What purpose does the Fail-Safe spell even serve?
The portal can be opened at any point as long as the Journals remain on both sides. Sunset can freely waltz between Equestria and Earth for the rest of her life if she wants.
7012827 It would remove all magic on the human world, including the magic of Sunset's book. Without its twin, I would imagine connecting Equestria to the human world would be difficult for the journal
Man, when Twilight fights she's a badass, even as a human.
Is it time for badass Twilight again?
How is it that they used to have names like George Washington but now they have names like Flash Sentry? (And place names like Canterlot?)
7236821 Technically this story isn't set in the U.S. so these names can exist somewhere
7032537 Yeah, dropping those Atomic bombs on Japan may not have been the right thing to do but it or something like it needed to be done or far more people would have died what would likely have been worse deaths. It was Atomic bombs or a long slow bloody genocide of Japan.
Intresting start like Twilight learning about humans and the spike parts where funyn
Hi there! I just finished Searching for Bacon Hair, and I'm in love with the story so far! I can't wait to see how the story unfolds! Though I have noticed a few spelling errors, and general grammar improvements and I was wondering if you'd like my input? Just let me know! But I can't wait to read the rest- which I'm going to right now ;)
Oooh it's getting so good!!!
Wait is it over???
7032537
It's also important to note that if we didn't use them in WWII, we almost certainly would have used them against China in Korea. General MaCarthur wanted to blow China to smithereens but was stopped (and promptly fired) by Truman because of what we all saw in Japan. The bombs effects were far worse than we thought and PR support for it has disappeared. Not to mention the Soviets had them as well by now. Hiroshima and Nagasaki collectively scared the shit out of the world so much that they would never be used again. (We hope...)
This chapter feels a little disjointed, and, at times, I had to double-check which Twilight I thought I was watching.
Also, the scenes seem to jump around without enough connection to what came before. (Which made the foul-mouthed horse joke confusing when it should have been pure funny.)
...sorry I can't be more specific about why I'm perceiving it this way.
Yeah, I'm starting to get a better feeling for the problem I observed in the previous chapter.
It felt disjointed in the last chapter and, in this chapter, things like Raven kicking Rarity out feel abrupt and out of character because rather than feeling like a real narrative, it feels like you're just cutting together pieces you think you need without making them flow properly.
(For this chapter, I tend to describe the problem as "writing by checklist")
Not a fan of the guide not saying much about the Civil War. I learned pretty early that slavery caused it and by doing that it allows the Lost Cause to take root.