• Member Since 18th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen January 10th

Fuzzyfurvert


I write pony words that people seem to like. I also review fics and draw purty pictures, apperently. I'm an older fan of MLP, so expect a lot of 80's references.

Comments ( 107 )

I went into this fic a little sceptical but I've got to say I'm really impressed at how things are turning out, I look forward to seeing more chapters of this wonderful tale.

is there going to be more? like them being mothers and Chrysalis meeting Twi's mom and dad, and Shining finding out?

This was some amazing world-building.

And sexy, too. :heart:

“I need you orgasm, ok?

A missing "to", by the looks of it. Either that or I'm supposed to be reading hentai.

...unintelligibly under breath,, her legs...

Delete one comma and add another "her".

...surprised at how alight the rest of her seemed...

*alright

I think that's about it. Decent little story, if a bit vanilla clop-wise.

6290543
Nice catch. All fixed.

I don't know about this story it ok I guess. A little on the weird side thought.:applejackunsure:

korisfa #7 · Aug 6th, 2015 · · 1 ·

6290628

Only a little?

You weren't reading it properly, then. :trollestia:

6290680 what ever:ajbemused:

If you were to continue growing this world I'd definitely read it.

I've been hunting for Romance/Redemption fics for a while. The current results have found tons of Trixi, some Sunset, and a few Gilda. But I've hardly found any Chrysalis. The main one that I've found is Bakmah Genesis's Solar Child series.

Great story. The best way for Chrysalis to show Twilight her appreciation for what she did is for Chrysalis to arrange a threesome with Celestia. But still, hopefully there will be a sequel with Twilight and Chrysalis raising the new queen.

Good stuff. If you ever do decide to continue this, I know I'd read it with a quickness.

As other said , I wouldn't mind if you wrote a sequel or a full story based on this premise.
The relationship between these two as they are written here would be interesting.
The reveal to the others would be too.

Wait, a single child eating its mother isn't a form of reproduction anymore, it's a form of biological immortality. It's the kind of 'reproduction' the immortal jellyfish uses to potentially last forever, until it actually mates. If changeling queens actually reproduced like this, they couldn't create more than one offspring hive, meaning the number of hives in the world could only shrink.

"Mating for life" also lowers reproduction speed and can kill both partners when just one of them dies, making the hives even less likely to survive. It also doesn't make sense for a group of offspring that's too bit to give everyone attention, as that method is typically used to specially adapt children to the world and make them much more fit than they would otherwise be, which won't work unless they're all given specific instructions/teachings. It doesn't make sense for mindless drones, or a queen who eats her mother's brain to get knowledge and ignores the whole raising process. Also, "killing the drone" would eventually lead to a drone that didn't mate for life vastly outperforming other drones, by not being dead and possibly mating again.

Darn illogical biology ruining my awkward clop.

6291161
.... Wow , some people just think of everything.
Just to check , you studied biology didn't you ?
As for me , well , you just made my day , as I kind of like my clop with some side of informative facts / biological accuracy... even if a would need to check the fact myself to be sure.
Well , the more you know. :twilightsmile:

6291161
Yes! These are all valid points. Let's see if I can headcanon BS my way around them.

If changeling queens actually reproduced like this, they couldn't create more than one offspring hive, meaning the number of hives in the world could only shrink.

This is assuming that only a Queen can establish a hive, and that is a valid assumption, however in nature we do have some animals and insects that can switch roles should an outside factor disrupt their business as usual routine. Now, I'm too lazy at the moment to google some sources, but I think some amphibians and clownfish can change gender to ensure breeding stock. And it's either bees, or ants, or termites that have a special class of sorta 'backup' Queens, that can take over if the actual Queen gets squished. Expanding this to a magical insect-like creature that can rearrange it's anatomy at will doesn't seem like such a stretch.

For example, say a changeling Queen gets banished to the moon for making Twilight cry. The remaining changelings are now Queenless, so one of them starts a metamorphosis process and becomes the new Queen. Probably without all the transferred memories and skill set, but the hive could continue on. Or, if said Queen was instead crushed by the hooves of an angered Imperial Consort when she yelled at Twilight, then things could go on completely unabated, as said metamorphising changeling could potentially consume the old Queen's gooey brainmeats.

In fact, depending on how 'Hivemind' you wanna go with changelings, the changeling that is the Queen could literally change all the time as the 'Queen' becomes simply a focal point for the distributed processing of the mindless drones.

"Mating for life" also lowers reproduction speed and can kill both partners when just one of them dies, making the hives even less likely to survive. It also doesn't make sense for a group of offspring that's too bit to give everyone attention, as that method is typically used to specially adapt children to the world and make them much more fit than they would otherwise be, which won't work unless they're all given specific instructions/teachings. It doesn't make sense for mindless drones, or a queen who eats her mother's brain to get knowledge and ignores the whole raising process. Also, "killing the drone" would eventually lead to a drone that didn't mate for life vastly outperforming other drones, by not being dead and possibly mating again.

First of all, this makes an assumption that the mated pair would only create a few total offspring. Considering the very hive-like/swarm-like make-up of changelings, one would have to assume the the drones are birthed in mass batches, potentially without a father. They are simply worker clones of the original Queen that follow her will. That would reinforce my BS point above. It also assumed that the death of one leads to the death of the other, but as Chrysalis points out in her dialogue, she could just kill the drone, thereby fulfilling the 'for-life' aspect for the drone, and then, assumedly, freeing her up to mate again.

Or, perhaps that instinct exists to promote Queens from different Hives to breed and mix their genetics for stronger genes in the next generation and NOT kill each other before nature takes its course and they are consumed by their young.

That's my headcanon-y two bits.

Wow I cannot believe how well thought out this is. The little grammar or spelling mistakes dont matter because this was AMAZING!!!

The Start of Something New

Not sure if this was supposed to be a somewhat snarky one-off thing, or if it was supposed to have a sequel, or perhaps both, depending on how the public receives it...
But I would enjoy a 60k+ word sequel, including (but not limited to) twilight and chrysalis raising a changeling queen, and maybe other changeling hive relations start from that? donno, whatever works, and I'd read it.

If the drones are mindless peons, how do they manage to replace ponies to feed? Unless they're all as bad as Chrysalis, that takes a lot of skill; it's a good deal more difficult for a thing from a hive mind group of mindless bug-thugs to pretend to be a social sapient like a pony than it is for a spider to pretend to be an ant.

And if they are all mindless... then what the hell is the changeling tradition that Chrysalis talked about? You can't have tradition without people to interact with one another--as in, you need a group of people who are alive at the same time. Mindless drones don't carry on anything, and they couldn't form their own culture!

6291161 It seems most reasons for Changeling Queens dying seem to originate in them being assholes to Twilight.


...
...
...
If nothing else, you need to make an epilogue where Twilight explains this to Celestia. And then Shining Armor & Cadance. :moustache::trollestia:

6290834
Well, good to see a nice fan around. Glad you enjoyed the series and am hopefully enjoying the rewrite

Now that I got a chance to read this, I rather like the pace and direction put in her. It also SCREAMS a sequel, something I will seek for. Also, if you want the help with any ideas, I am open. Chrylight has been one of my top faves for a long time and I currently am rewriting a very popular ChryLight I did awhile ago that had a similar premise. Anyways, amazing story and I await more.

Wow. This was amazing. Thanks for the read.

I thought the original version was great, but this extended mix is even better! The world needs more Redeemed!Chrysalis stories. :twilightsmile:

I hope Twi realizes that Chrysalis is never going to stop teasing her, though. Changeling is going to have a lot of sleeping on the couch in her future, I bet. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm definitely with the folks wanting a "shotgun changeling wedding fallout" sequel. :pinkiecrazy:

Also hey, front page! :pinkiehappy:

Hm, the only bad part about this story is that it ended after one chapter. I liked it. Insert other positive sentence.

Will definitely read if you continue this.

Huu well that happened is twi going to send shinning a wedding party invitation as pay back for the one he sent to her?
All thou it would be more like a unighting of two kindoms through marriage then any thing else but question still stands :rainbowhuh:
Oh and here's a like for your troubles:pinkiesmile:

Need a sequel, must have sequel. anyway loved the story favoring and thumbing it up. Love chrysalight.

6291351

Eh, I'm more just a bibliophile/research lover(erevnaphile?), but thanks!

6291408

That queening method still doesn't allow for the creation of multiple hives if generally only one queen is created. It doesn't matter how many drones are made since they all rely on the queen. If the entire hive got wiped out, say by a famine or a large magical blast, then that would be it for their species. Plus, if you plotted their family tree and compared it to other species, it'd look more like a line, where everything else would look like a very spread out tree. Heck, if two hive queens mate, it's possible there's only one or zero queen offspring, because if they're close enough, the kids will eat each other.

Anyway, only having one queen get created that can birth and take care of her changelings stops the changelings from making more than one hive. This is why pretty much all with centralized, queen-based reproduction create many queens. (They also seek out mates from other hives for genetic diversity.) And it limits diversity if everyone has to fit on that one line.

Maybe it would work if Chrysalis had an egg sack like the ones some spiders have, containing thousands of eggs, but then only a select few could eat her brains... Perhaps the new queens could form a hive mind in their infancy. Oh! And only one egg/clone would be formed without mating, copying the immortal jellyfish's method of biological immortality.

There we go! The problem is solved with spiders. Isn't nature beautiful?

Chrysalis looked back over her shoulder, down her body at the swollen and distended egg sack that was attached to her.

I am imagining something akin to the queen for Aliens.

I found a book that details how changeling Queens are created...and after the last few attacks on our outer settlement, a patterns started to become clear.

Ellipses have spaces after them, either have "patterns" or "a pattern" not a mix of the two.

The book says the process is...unpleasant.

Space

you know I mean no harm to an unborn foal...er...larva

Spaces

Twilight narrowed her eyes at Chrysalis,visibly biting back any other response at the jab.

Space

Um...well, it’s an…invasive process.

Spaces. I'll stop cause I think you get the point and I don't want to feel too pushy.

If can do that, surely you can bring yourself to touch me, Twilight?

"I"

Twilight worked the edge of her hoof deeper between Chrysalis’ chitin plates, fluid leaking from the changeling and coated Twi’s wrist.

These verbs should have the same tense.

Her head and horn hurt, the later seeming to throb in time with her heartbeat.

"latter"

Not it’s own mother.

"its"

Would that mean an ending to the hostility between us?”

“I was listening to you before, when you asked me these things, Twilight

This ending quotation mark shouldn't be there since Chrysalis continues talking in the next paragraph.


Cute, I want to read about the honeymoon though. But I must question, the way the hive as named; it seemed to imply more than one hive on Equus. How did more changeling queens come about if they always ate their mothers?

The story is amazing, but i am not the one who is interested in personal affections that is described in fine detail. I do hope for a sequel though

“I’m not losing it.” Chrysalis shook her head, her voice growing quiet again. “I’m giving it up. If we want to have a culture worth holding on to, we’d need a true culture worth honoring. Something that I think I can at least give my daughter a chance at. With your help.”

Surprisingly smart for a smut fic. You've earned a like from me.

More? Please? Pretty, pretty please? *big filly eyes*

6292303 That's purely a stylistic choice, there is no hard and fast rule on the formatting of ellipses. Some say spaces, some don't. Some say you should put a space between every period, some don't.

Also, brilliant story. Would love to see more.

I would like to know from where came that changlings are insects. Queen Chrysalis always looked like a plant. Her crown looks like pistils and her mane looks like petals or leaves. And in the IDW Fiendship comic with Chrysalis we learned she was born from a tree.
Changelings are evidently plant lifeform.

Good start this, certainly like it better than my own attempt at Chrysi shipping and you also have the bonus of not having to deal with raging Shining Armour fans :pinkiehappy:

6292713
well we don't know their origins in the show so their origins in the comic could be different than in the show

6292713

Changelings are largely equine in appearance but possess insect-like characteristics. They have black carapace-like coats, webbed manes and tails, reflection-less eyes (unlike their queen's), fangs, bent horns, jagged ears, insect-like wings, and holes in their legs.

moar please this is too good to just be a one shot

On it's own this is a good story, but if it were just the start of a story it would be a lot better.

6292694
I have seen it used without a space behind or before, but it appears more often with a space to avoid word wrap issues. That method makes more sense to me and avoids large chunks of text hopping lines.

6292713
Plants don't have carapaces. Plants don't have strands of web-like manes. Plants don't have small, May-fly like wings, even if they are tattered. Plants don't have a black, insect-like coats or skin. So, considering all that, how in the world did you come to the conclusion that Changelings are plants?! That just baffles me! I have to wonder if you're serious or just trolling?

sequel please :twilightsmile: love this :heart::pinkiesmile::twilightsmile:

Good start and good story but I'm baffled by something: In spite of Twilight's hope that her efforts will help build a new and possibly peaceful co-existance between Chrysalis' hive and Equestrian ponies, what evidence does Twilight have that Chrysalis won't just turn around and take full advantage of this situation to empower the hive to greater heights and simply launch a new attack on Equestria?

I mean, you've already made it clear by Chrysalis' own statements that caring is something alien to changelings, even when it comes to self preservation and Twilight's definitely no dummy when it comes to thinking things through so why would she take such an enormous risk without any real evidence and just on the basis of nothing more than a hope for a better future?

I'm just asking.

I Definitely want some more of this. Good story, fairly good pacing, but I want to see some aftermath. :pinkiehappy:

6293138 Agreed this deserves more.

Aww, how cute! :twilightsmile:

god dam it i want to read the reactions when twilight tells her friends family and the princesses also booo you ruined the chances of futalyse

I'm detecting inspiration/similarities to the Human Daleks from New York and Hooverville during the time of the tenth Doctor. The "We must give up our traditions in order to become better" mentality is high in both this doc and that episode.

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