• Member Since 25th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Zodiacspear


Resident changeling squisher of FiMfic. Changelings beware!

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Lyra Heartstrings is a mare who often goes about life with her head in the clouds. Always dreaming, always fantasizing about what could be. She sees her friends and so many others enjoying sharing their lives with that special someone, and wishes that she could as well. To find that special someone she can be herself with and not be afraid, even if that self is a less than socially graceful.

When a chance meeting with a stallion—who is often too laid back for his own good—occurs, it brings about that possibility she's been dreaming of. Music was always her secret passion, and now, it seems that the song of her heart might get what she's been wanting.

Or are things too good to be true again?

A huge thanks to Meridian Prime for his time to edit this story, my little niece for the cover art, and all the people in the YMLT chat who had to suffer my numerous brainstorming ideas. Also a huge thanks to my pre-readers Zomg and Foals Errand. All of you rock!

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 27 )

I really like this Zodiac.
Keep up the good work! :rainbowkiss:

6135254 Thank you a ton! More to come very soon. Expect the next update this Saturday. :twilightsmile:

Great start. +1 for not naming it "Thundering Harps" or "Of Harps and Thunder".

6139258 Thanks for that. :twilightsmile: When it came to the title I think I was most of the way done before it hit me. I like to think it will prove a very fitting one for this story.

Let us see where the newest revelations take the two. :pinkiehappy:

This is a really unique shipping choice. Haven't seen it before, so point for originality. As well, it's constructed and written superbly. I love all the characters and the traits and personalities you gave them. Keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

6157166 You know, it's comments like this one I treasure the most. Thank you, good sir/ma'am. I hope you enjoy the rest of this story as much as I did writing it. :pinkiehappy:

You know, I really loved the lunch scene. I don't often get to see nice and calm scenes like this in a lot of fics. It was a great spot to start their relationship and I can't wait to see more of this cute pair. :pinkiesmile:

6170128 Oh, there is much to see yet! Glad to know you're enjoying this. :twilightsmile:

Oh dear. :twilightoops: Jealousy. The curse of many romances.

Great chapter. The dinner scene was really cute.

6182792 Late reply is late. :twilightblush:

Jealousy has always been a key factor to many tragedies in fiction and is a good source of conflict in a story. Enjoy the rest, my friend!

Comment posted by virgoarrow deleted Aug 4th, 2015

I loved this story.. I have a feeling you put a lot of yourself in these characters ! Brilliant :)

The story was decent overall, but its ending felt a bit sudden.

Have a review! From the Pleasant Commentator and Review Group.

Sooo... that happened. I'm not exactly sure what to do with this story just yet, maybe I'm going to be a tad wiser once I've written this thing down.

First off, a few things that annoyed me as hell.
1) "You mean it?" In all it's variations. Lyra is insecure, okay, I got that. But there were times when she asked this particular question over and over and b***ing over again. As I already said: annoying as hell.
2) "I promise!" Seriously, what is it with ponies promising stuff they really shouldn't promise because they don't have any kind of control over it? Thunderlane promised the audience wouldn't laugh. How exactly did he intend to keep that promise in the first place...? Thunderlane promised 'that' would never happen again - once more: How exactly does he intend to make that (not) happen?
3) "Everything came crushing down. Three days later!" No, seriously, what's up with those weird leaps in time? Lyra was humiliated in front of hundreds of ponies - hundreds, not thousands, since I don't think there are so many ponies in Ponyville - and they... what? Just went home, had a nice cup of tea, went to bed and thought to themselves "welp, maybe we'll talk about this some other day"...? Why the heck didn't they charge right after her? And once more: A week after Blossomforths moment of epic idiocy, he cares to try an apologize... a week later. Seriously? Wow.
4) "Hey, you apologized, so everything's fine!" Yeah... no. Lyra was depicted as socially awkward, as introverted and as being victim to a rather severe case of stage fright. After being humiliated in front of hundreds of ponies she's got to deal with on a daily basis? Yeah, no, that's not going to just 'pass by' in a few days. That's the kind of moment in one's life that scars a character for life.
5) "It's all about toys..." Why the heck is romance almost the only thing they talk and care about...?

After throwing that out, some side notes:
1) I swear to Luna's beautiful butt, Bon Bon is the only mature, reasonably acting, kind-of-level-headed pony in this whole, damn story. Every other pony acts like some kind of not-really-grown-up teenager, with Lyra being the worst of them in her naivety to the point of being dense, closely followed by Blossomforth winning the award for best 'no, thinking things through is for losers!'-performance so far.
2) How the heck does Lyra come by? If she's not performing, but living on her own... where the heck does she get her bits from?
3) How hypocritical are the ponies in Ponyville...? They seemed to be nice all around, each and every time, but start to glare and laugh and harass Lyra - and Blossomforth later on - as soon as the opportunity arises. That's just... wow...?! Not even Pinkie tried to intervene when her own party was going down the drain... way to go, number one party pony...
4) Jealousy is a nasty, ugly beast. I know from my own experiences. So on one hand, I can understand Blossomforths temporary stupidity, on the other hand, it's infuriating nonetheless.

So, with the 'bad' and the 'meh' done, what good was in there?
1) As I already said: Bon Bon. Gosh, that mare was fun to follow around, kicking doors, almost-strangling ponies, getting infuriated more and more and more. She was awesome. Downright awesome.
2) It was interesting seeing Bon Bon and Lyra being portrayed as friends, actual just friends, and by that opening up their potential interests in other ponies/relationships. Nice idea.

Final verdict. Hm.
While some things were weird/strange or downright infuriating, it was a ton of fun following Bon Bons struggle to smash some sense into everypony else's head, I can't deny that. And for a 'first time romance'-story, it was actually quite decent. Keep writing, keep practising, there's a lot of potential as far as I'm concerned.
Sooo... yeah. Up-vote it is. And a favourite.

Thank you.

You magnificent bastard! How you managed to put so much detail and expression of emotion in six chapter, and write so well, I'll never know! I hope you write a sequel, or at least another romance story.
P.S. Keep your doors locked. Because if I find you, I will tickle you mercilessly for that awesome title drop.

So far I like this

8427199
I glad to hear it! I hope you end up enjoying the whole thing.

Don't be hesitant to let me know your thoughts about the story, it's always welcomed. :)

8748818
I’m so glad you did! Always a great feeling to hear my readers enjoying my stories.

Have any key parts you enjoyed the most?

8999673
I has a review!

While disappointing that it scored so low with you, I’m happy to see that you enjoyed aspects of it. Being my first romance story, I went with the safe route and followed a traditional story line. I hope you found the characters likable and “real”, if you get my meaning, they were fun to write for.

For my grammatical errors, I had no idea I had so many. Between my own edits and my editor, I had thought I got most of them. I’ll have to head back and see if I can fix the story up for easier reading for people.

Thanks for the review, Paulasaran! Always welcoming of any feedback and hope you enjoy your next story better!

Cheers!

A very good description of someone who has a deficit in Proprioception. People who have this deficiency are often called clumsy, when in fact they have a form of blindness that leaves them unable to tell where they are in relation to the world around them. A bit on the dramatic side, but for those of us who have this problem, this is just life and there is literally nothing that can be done about it.

9695220
I’m glad you like it! :twilightsmile:

It still amazes me this old story is still being enjoyed to this day, warms my heart knowing it. I hope enjoy it to it’s conclusion!

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