• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 57 minutes ago

Never2muchpinkie


Just your average brony who enjoys writing stories.

T
Source

Note: This story was conceived of long before the second EQG movie was created, so it's a bit outdated compared to later information that emerged. It just took me a long time to finally write it.

It should have been a simple affair. Wait for the portal to open again. Apologize for the past to Celestia. Move on as friends. Sunset Shimmer has been waiting for the opportunity to make amends for her past misdeeds, having learned of the magic of friendship from her new friends. She wants to deal with her regrets and right her wrongs.

She never expected that things could go so horribly wrong in two days. It should have been simple, but a discovery of a familiar dark artifact renders things more complicated than she could have ever foreseen. All she wanted was the power to protect her friends from their enemies, but now she is the enemy. Can Twilight Sparkle and her friends save Sunset Shimmer from herself a second time?

Chapters (24)
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Comments ( 104 )

Hmmm A never before seen. Sounds interesting. I can't wait for more.

5975852 5974460

The amulet itself gets character development. It's not just a rehash of Magic Duel. It has its own consciousness. I don't know if anyone has tried that angle on it before.

Huh, this'll be fun. I don't think I've ever seen a Sunset Shimmer and the Alicorn Amulet story done like this. Looking forward to the next chapter!




5976048 I think I saw a story like that once or twice (and an author that writes it as the backed-up personality of King Sombra) but it is very uncommon. It'll be cool to see how you handle this.

Da feels....so overwhelming!These are a few I felt: :raritycry::pinkiegasp::pinkiesad2:

Thanks you oh master of feels for this delightful chapter. I truly enjoyed it!:twilightsmile:

6004347 :pinkiehappy: You know that IT is coming soon. Hee hee.

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New chapter is UP! We see Sunset's backstory.

6005124 :pinkiecrazy: Yes, yes I do. And now I see what you mean by guilt..:ajsleepy:

Jeez I fell bad for Sunset...

I'm liking where this is going continue!


6004347 Thanks for telling me another chapter was up!:twilightsmile:

6014594 Y'know, I tried to tell you but I think you only get 1 notification per reply per comment. I already replied once on your first comment, so when I replied to the same one to let you know the chapter was up I guess it doesn't work.

Next time around I'll PM you directly. :twilightblush: Thanks for the comment.

Oh wow this is going to be exciting moments for the next chapter. I can't wait another day this was too good!!!!! :pinkiehappy:

6016094 Thank you! I'm getting the spark again. When neither of you two commented on the second chapter at first I assumed you lost interest, since it took a while for the new chapter.

I got big plans for this story, but first I have to get the not so exciting setup out of the way.

Chapter 4 is where the plot begins to pick up big time. :rainbowdetermined2:

Too cute!!!! Can't wait for more!!!!

YES! plus points for a spike input.:pinkiehappy: really gave the little guy something to do, unlike what the writers do. :facehoof:

also. logic.:moustache:

HOT DAMN CELESTIA!!!

She mad

6066203 :twilightoops: Good thing it was only an illusion. :derpytongue2:

And the next chapter is the final set-up before the plot kicks in hard. :rainbowdetermined2::ajsmug: Be prepared.

Miss Sunset Shimmer did not try to kill anypony. Her plan was for a bloodless coupe:

In the CrystalEmpire, a PrincessSummit occurs. In the ApeUniverse, Miss Sunset Shimmer Zombifies the entire student-body and the Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna. This is the plan:

0) Have the Zombies, lead by Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna go through the portal.
1) Have Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna incapacitate Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Mi Amore Cadenza while the other zombies incapacitate everypony else.
2) Force all of the Ponies, including the Princesses through the portal.
3) Destroy the mirror.
4) Rule through the Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna as the power behind the thrown.

All of the above should take less than 1 minute. Nopony outside the palace would be any the wiser. Principal Celestia and Vice Prinicipal Luna would be her puppets, pretending to be Princesses Celestia and Luna. She can make up an excuse for the disappearance of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. All of the ponies in the palace at the time of the coupe would be alive and well, but trapped in the ApeVerse

6073049

Your comments tend to be a little... bizarre. Like always referring to Derpy as Derpilina Ditzy Doo Hooves.

Anyway, Sunset's full plan was never revealed in-universe, but she specifically said that she had no intention of ruling "just a high school" and that she wanted to rule over Equestria where all the magic was.

An army of brainwashed ponies would likely run into the same trouble Twilight did in adjusting to their new bodies, so how effective they would be is debatable, but I think they'd basically be distractions for the royal guards while she dealt with the princess. In her demon form she showed she was willing to straight up murder Twilight, so I'd say she'd have killed Celestia and the other princesses under that power too.

What you said is interesting, but it's headcanon territory. And so is my story, hence why it's a fanfic, but if she could just mind-control Luna/Celestias human counterparts why bother going through the switch at all? Keep ALL of them under your control. An army of 6 six alicorns means nobody is getting past you. :rainbowdetermined2:

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I never write Miss Derpalina Ditzy Doo Hooves". I write "Miss Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves".

Miss Sunset Shimmer could not bring herself to injure Mister Spike-The-Dragon (Miss HarshWhinny calls him "Mister The Dragon"). After becoming a Raging She Dæmon, Miss Sunset Shimmer directed some-sort-of magical beam at the HuMane 5 and Princess Twilight, but it might not have caused injury. Even if it did, it could be that the transformation effected her affect, making her murderous.

6077362 Does the "W" really matter? You're oddly formal. Why not just Derpy? I don't even know where you get Derpalina from.

That's the point. Human Sunset let's Spike go because she's "not a monster" and only used Spike to bring Twilight to a meeting.

Demon Sunset, when Twilight defies her, outright tries to kill her, and is only saved by "the magic of friendship" and the Element not betraying it's original owner. so her morals and such under the influence of the Element were gone. Thus, if she went through the portal she likely would have just tried to kill everyone there, as the other 3 alicorn's would be waiting as well as the other Element wielders. With them out of the way no one could stop her...... except possibly Discord.

6120789 :pinkiegasp: IMPOSSIBLE!

So why do you love it? Good reassurance?

You're still a few chapters behind, but I should have two more chapters up soon. The slice of life type stuff lasted too long for an adventure story, and the plot is about to kick into high gear!

6122858 "I hung back too to see what you would do." You highlighted TOO. I don't see the problem with it. She hung back as well when she saw Sunset holding back. If anything, it needed a comma after TOO. The word TOO is fine.

If you're going to post just to correct something than at least correct it correctly.

Nothing bad could possibly happen from Sunset Shimmer donning the Ailicornamulet.

I notice u need some capitalization. 5th Paragraph should said have a capital S?
7th Paragraph asked Twilight. Shouldn't Asked be capital A?
10th Paragraph after you put... really should be capital R?
22nd paragraph woohooo.' she yelled ... She needs to be capital S?
you should take look at this. Although the book is doing good just need Capital fixing here and there.

Paragraph 4 Asked needs to be capitalized?
Paragraph 6 said twilight... Said should be capitalized?
paragraph 12 Ummm... isn't = Isn't, should have a capital I?
You should look this through before going any further.
The idea is still great!!!!

6127861 Don't try to correct someone if you don't know what you're talking about. :raritywink:

Grammar rules state that things that come after quotation punctuation are treated as part of the same sentence, so they're lower case
"How are you doing?" asked Twilight.
"I did it," said Sunset.

The reason it's different in my previous stories is that I didn't know proper grammar when I first started, so some of my older stories I just haven't gone back to and fixed up.

Sometimes grammar is the confusing parts. I guess this means people use different kinds of grammars.

hmmmm I see a few (...) In this chapter. >.> Although I'm still thinking. Should it be capitalized? >.> Although I don't know just yet with grammar I'm a new writer so? Most books don't have that kind of issue >.> I'm tempted to see the unknown.

Good view
PS
The story line is very awesome and great hope for more.

Bad view
Still questioning the ... Thing.

Please don't hate me.

The final review of this chapter.
:facehoof: The dot dot dot (...) Is tempting me. The story line is great, I'm a bit worried on the ... Thing. Hopefully I hope to see a little less of ... >.< basically my rule for this is when a ... Is shown the last dot is the end of the sentence. But this foal seems important I wonder if your going to write her story in a sequel? Or continue with Sunset Shimmer finding about her. >.>

It could be just me seeing things. I think I should reread it once again.

6131877 If you're going to critique can you at least split the story issues from the grammar issues? You kept shooting back and forth between them.

What foal are you talking about? Do you mean Rose Blossom? I explained that in the authors note a few chapters back. She was a big part of my two Scootaloo stories. Apart from that I don't know who you're referring to.

About the grammar. Eh. I use ellipses often, which may be a writing no-no, but I don't much care. I write the way I write. :derpytongue2:

OK let me try this again >.> Your putting this ... And leave some description out of text well most of them. Which is very hard to read. Maybe you put the ... For a pause or something in most of them which I think you made it just for a pause when there speaking I think that's ok. :facehoof: It's very hard to explain this.

“I have something to reveal to you. The thing is… you already know quite a bit about me. You know who I am and have heard me mentioned many times.” That is a pause but it's ok.

But something like this

If you give me your vow to aid me in my bid to overthrow Celestia than all my magic will be at your disposal. And if, at the end of it all, you help to bring her down, than I shall teach you my greatest spell: I will grant you… alicornhood.” I will grant you (where is the description) alicornhood.

Maybe you can help me get what your trying to say.

Please help me out so I can understand...

PS I don't read author notes which I now should go back and read that description. :fluttercry:

6135055 The spirit is deliberately trying to play up all her weaknesses. The pause there is intentional.

DASH! Help me out here.

He's trying to tempt her into going down a wrong path, so the pause before he declares he will give her something always wanted makes sense to me.

6138595 Why don't you use the reply button? Because it's my story I'll get a notification when anyone comments regardless, but if that wasn't the case I wouldn't know you replied.

6139113 Oh my bad I'm still figuring out the controls

Wow, I loved it! the carnival scene with Fluttershy was spot on!:yay: and ROSIE ROSIE ROSIE!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy: The energy was great and positive. The dialouge was fun and enjoyable and many times I laughed! 8/10!:yay:

Nice set up for zecora. The ryhmes worked great! and i am ready for the next chapters!!

OOOH! creppy end. I really loved this. you really dove deep into her emotions and...its a little scary I must admit. If things keep going this way, maybe you should add a dark tag:derpytongue2: But really, great character devlopment as usuall!:twilightsmile: 9/10!!!

I finally got a chance to read this chapter. I see that the AlicornAmulet totally does not manipulate the Great & Powerful Miss Beatrix LulaMoon.

On another note, I saw Terminator Genisys, so I should bringup Doctor Whooves:

The new movie has a surprise cameo. I shall not say more. Many ponies do not like new movie because it does not make sense. The thing is that it does make sense, if one posits another temporal dimension. All of the timetravel wears out the universe causing timelines to merge. One just needs to abstract up a layer.

About Doctor Whooves, now you know how to write him because of Slice of Life. Doctor Whooves is not exactly the Doctor. MA Larson noticed that Doctor Whooves is Brown, so added Doc Brown from Back to the Future to his personality. "¡Withering Stallions!" is very similar to Doc Brown exclaiming "¡Great Scott!". Basically, Doctor Whooves is the lovechild of the Doctor and Doc Brown.

Now that you know how to write Doctor Whooves, you can write the Adventures of the Family Whooves Traveling through SpaceTime staring Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves, Doctor Whooves, Dinky Doo Whooves, and Amethyst Star Whooves.

Kill Twilight Sparkle 0_0 that is rather shocking.

I like this chapter it has best Zecora expressions in it although it's a tiny bit dark a little bit.

This chapter is a 10/10 for me.

Whoa boy, I guess that sparks are going to fly next chapter. I can't wait.

8007762 Sunset still has a little farther to fall before her confrontation. Stardust can't let her just dismiss things as a nightmare, can he? :raritywink:

As I said in the authors note I'll be posting a chapter a day so you won't be waiting long. There's just a little bit of the ending left before it's completely finished on my end, so something like 8-9 days before it's finished here. I haven't actually counted the amount of chapters I've written, but I've got like 50,000 words and 86 pages worth of content, so 8 or 9 seems about right.

Well hopefully the power and magic of friendship will beat Stardust and restore Sunset.

This sounds really good so far. I can't wait to read more.

8009494 I like your profile pic. :scootangel: It fits so well for this story even though it takes place in the pony world.

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