• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Never2muchpinkie


Just your average brony who enjoys writing stories.

E

Filly Pinkie has just come from her latest sensational party. Hyped up with energy she decides to go for a walk before going home, when she happens upon a scared pegasus huddled in a bush. She had fallen down from Cloudsdale earlier, as she had once before.

Pinkie Pie slowly gains Fluttershy's trust by being friendly and respecting her boundaries, and the two of them become fast friends. As Fluttershy falls asleep Pinkie keeps watch over her until her family can pick her up. Having never been too close to a pegasus, Pinkie gets a little TOO interested in the extra appendages.

All inspiration for this story comes directly from this comic: https://derpibooru.org/377?scope=scpedd0a897b87ab38133e505fc8d895b9d387bc2b8e

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 37 )
Comment posted by iamli3 deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by OozeLock deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by iamli3 deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by OozeLock deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by iamli3 deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by Background human deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by Never2muchpinkie deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by OozeLock deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by Never2muchpinkie deleted Dec 27th, 2015
Comment posted by Background human deleted Dec 27th, 2015

OMG well done I like how pinkie and fluttershy met in the beginning it showed character. The rest of it I'm very impress on how this story is going too. I really can't wait for more and see this book . This going to be an epic Slice of Life story.

This is a nice Slice of Life.

I wish for two things, for the pet playdate story to get finished and a one-shot or continued version of this where pinkie meets all the main six exept twilight

6210586
6210897

Well, at the moment I'm not planning for any more chapters. I based this story off of the comic in the description, so at the moment it's just a stand-alone one-shot. My writing motivation has been dwindling as of late, so I have to wait for some certain things to get me motivated.

6212097 Thanks for the compliment, and the correction. I always seem to miss something here and there.

Wow...and you thought your writing was getting worse, its doing just the opposite!:derpytongue2::yay:

Though I must admit, that the dialouge felt a little....forced at times. Like they were only sepaking so the readers would know what's going on, and not to the characters them selves. But that's the only thing that bothered me, and it only happened like once or twice. :scootangel:

Any other dialouge was at its best! especially with pinkie's line. They were all in character (as usual) and the story flowed nicely and was very enjoyable to read. And of course, the crowning moment when Pinkie was playing/watching fluttershy sleep was as I expected, wonderfuly amazing and fun! The beard part made me laugh for sure!:rainbowlaugh:

I am...a little...wary...perhaps, of how the cakes acted when they saw pinkie with the pegasus. I mean, I know this is safe, friendly Equestria, but leaving a filly, with a stranger filly who is asleep, vunerable in a public park at dark, and they do nothing more than leave a warning!...kinda made me a bit....concerned:unsuresweetie:. But not much more than that.

They way you so simply stated pinkie's sadness as fluttershy left with out a goodby, made me feel it deep. Nice. The party when they met again was great! and I love that fluttershy gave pinkie the pet in return, but I have one question. The cakes said that, before she left, she left gummy. How did she do that? She could't go home and get him, she would have to return, and did she bring him with her and forget the animal until the morning? How did she get gummy to pinkie?:rainbowhuh:

Anyway, this story was fun and enjoyable:pinkiesmile:. One of your great works indeed! looking forward to more stories from you!:twilightsmile:

6216098 Can you point out the forced dialogue bit?

I only threw the Cakes in there because I figured they were going to get worried about Pinkie eventually.

Maybe not a huge defense, but Applejack and Cheese Sandwich both left their hometowns entirely by themselves at around that age, and made their own lives, and the CMC are left to wander around doing their crazy cutie mark schemes all the time. I guess it's a little different as it's night time, but it is Equestria, after all. I don't think Ponyville has THOSE kinds of ponies.

I think you need to reread it: When I came downstairs Mrs. Cake told me that Fluttershy had left in the morning, but then came back with a package for me.

I'm going to add in a little bit of dialogue to address the issue, where Fluttershy tells the Cakes she has to feed her animals so she couldn't stay. But the way it went is that Fluttershy woke up, and left the house. While there she thought of how Pinkie didn't have a pet, and when she saw the baby gator she thought it was exactly the kind of random, wacky pet that a pony like Pinkie would love. So she boxed him up, delivered him to Sugarcube Corner, and then went back home.

BTW, did you read the comic in the description this fic was based off of?

6218026 well...nothing specific really....but just some parts gave me that feeling...I'll try to find them again.

Yeah...I get that, what a sick world WE live in.:applejackunsure: Ponies have it better than us!:raritydespair:

Oh...oops. thank for showing me that!

Well...that would be nice...but to be honest...I...was thinking....nevermind.

Sure I did. Why?

I just read the story myself! And loved it :D

6218026 Also, when Pinkie got the supplies to her one-one-one party and stuffed animals, couldn't she have explained that she was going to be with Fluttershy then? Same explaination, just taken place off-screen. That way you wouldn't have to try and explain the Cakes at all! They'd never have to be worried in the first place :raritywink:

While there she thought of how Pinkie didn't have a pet, and when she saw the baby gator she thought it was exactly the kind of random, wacky pet that a pony like Pinkie would love. So she boxed him up, delivered him to Sugarcube Corner, and then went back home.

But what if the Alligator had a family, a mom and siblings?! :raritydespair: I doubt it, but still!
You have to figure, even with Pinkie as her closest pony friend, she'd HAVE to think of the animals just as importantly! It's her special talent, and a huge part of who she is. So Fluttershy just boxing up gummy on a whim for Pinkie doesn't seem like a very Flutter thing to do. I think her getting Gummy's consent, or something like finding him as an orphan, would make this doable.

First you need to think of where she got the gator (maybe she had connections with the critters from the first two landings, or maybe she got some pets who moved in with her when she got a house, and gummy was one), and then the transition from alone to pet (her asking gummy if he'd like a new mommy, and maybe a blink or two in some sort of silent-gummy response)

And now that we have a gator, and we have consent, then you could just say she left it in box with some food, and told the Cakes to open it within an hour if Pinkie wasn't able to get to it. Can't have the poor thing starve!

Maybe I've overthinking it, or maybe this could use a second smaller chapter showing us Fluttershy's POV after Pinkie slept. Which is like, an amazing amount of adorable opportunity! :scootangel:

6219262 Tsk tsk tsk! :ajbemused: Oh, ye of little faith.

Do you really think Fluttershy would just pluck a random gator she found and throw him to someone else if she didn't already know his situation? Gummy was just another animal she was taking care of while living at the cottage. When it came to thinking of a surprise pet for Pinkie, as said, it seemed perfect, as no NORMAL, everyday pet would do for someone of her temperament.

6219580 Hey, hey, hey! It wasn't a lack of faith! I just read the thing I quoted and thought that was going to be the explanation that I was analyzing! :twilightsheepish:

Just trying to assist if any was needed! Can't blame me for trying to:
A) help a good author and buddy :scootangel:
B) try to get another adorable chapter of you :derpytongue2:

6219708 It's all good. I wasn't mad. :rainbowkiss:

6219785 APPLEJACK SAYS OTHERWISE
(that was fun to type for some reason)

Finally finished this, had to read in doses due to overwhelming cuteness!

6281000 An old comment, I know, but I never did say thank you for reading and was glad you found enjoyment in it.

This was a great story Pinkie's characterisation was very good.
The tangents she went on in her thoughts were fitting for her too.

6844322 Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :raritystarry:

I'm happy you had me read this! It's such a nice, happy story!

I love how you involved Gummy in this as well! It gives the story a connection to the cannon of the show! (No matter how small it is!)

6855126 But the party cannon isn't even in the story. :trollestia:

(Misspelled canon. :raritywink:)

best story!!!

I was gonna make it. I really was. And then

I picked up the box, and it felt strangely heavy. There were holes all over the box, which was a little weird. I took it up to my room, plucking off the note taped to it. Opening it I saw it said only one thing: “Sometimes we all need to be shown a little kindness.”

Ripping off the paper on the box I opened the lid, and I gasped, my heart going into overdrive as joy and satisfaction captured every part of me.

I put my hooves in, plucking out the teeny tiny little alligator inside.

“I’m gonna name you Gummy!” I said as I hugged it to me, happy tears coming down my eyes.

HRN!!!! Insulin! I need the fuckin insulin!!!!


This was a cute friendshipping fic with a double helping of durble.


And I really think the way Pinkie was depicted in this would be completely show accurate if the show ever went this deep.

Ohmgoshldiafjo2n3q8h9h;9hasojdjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj


THIS WAS AMAZING

a nice little ending, but I thought she collected her feathers all those years. It was just my idea how it could have ended and for whatever reason she could have noticed that Pinkie played with her wings maybe. It was just a bit odd that her parents never tried to get her to see her friend if they know she is rather lonely otherwise.

Not sure if I really want a romance story or not, but at least I would like more chapters or a story that makes it really clear that Pinkie likes her the most in one or another way.

edit: not sure if it is enough for that, but I'm going to put it in the favourites for now.

Although this story is based off from a comic. You still manage to find a way to make this story your own by adding on your scenes. A job well done if i do say so myself.

9184690
Thank you. Did you read the comic itself to see how they compare?

I went through a similar situation with my story "Alone for Hearthswarming." It was a five page comic of what looked like a teenage Pinkie being stuck home alone at the Cakes house, since they went to visit family for the holidays. As she looks at a picture of her own family and starts getting lonely they just happen to all come by to visit.

The major difference between my story and the comic is that I feel I made her loneliness more poignant by having her going out around town once the Cakes leave. She revels in all the activities, prolonging being out with other celebrating ponies until it gets to the point everyone's gone home and she's forced to return to the empty Sugarcube Corner.

I'm not saying the comic was bad because it was more self-contained. I know from recent experience how expensive commissioning a comic can be. But enjoying everything vicariously as she watches and joins in with the fun, as well as avoiding the one spot she knows no one else is going to be, just felt more in character for Pinkie instead of just immediately resigning herself to loneliness.

You should check it out. The art style is just so adorable.
https://derpibooru.org/tags/comic-colon-closed+for+the+holidays

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