• Member Since 29th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 17th, 2020


I'm an ok writer trying to convey my headcanons to others in the community.


Sunset, a girl with spunk, happiness, and friendship. The only problem is she has been unstable ever since hearing some distressing news. Can anyone help her? Does anyone want to?

Will Sunset ever return to the way she was?

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 30 )

Interesting. Continue please...

Ok you have my attention. Continue this please.

I pray this isn't one of the many interesting Dazzling/Sunset stories that never gets finished. I'm actually interested here.

yaaaas do continue

What in the world is going on here? I am so confused, but I'm guessing it will come together soon.

please dont center the text in the middle. for some reason i really hate that.

6914736 Thank you. I will keep that in mind. I'm new to being a writer, so any and all critique is accepted and encouraged.

6914736 Actually, this is a terrible thing. Holy crap, Thank you for pointing this out to me! What just happened? I did not hit the center button.

I will fix this immediately. I am so sorry for your inconvenience.

This story interests me, looking forward to more chapters.


The secrets are starting to get revealed! Dont stop!

Okay the first few chapters sounded like a fever dream which is what I thought you were going for, the sirens hypnotizing and manipulating Sunset to ruin her life or something but now it sounds like that was not supposed to sound like a fever dream and was real. So now I'm confused and thinking you didn't intend to make those chapters barley incomprehensible and that it's not a feature but a flaw.

Soooooooo :rainbowhuh:huh? Is all I'm going to say.

Attention to all my viewers. I took what you said and made many adjustments. Also, there seems to be a lot of problems with importing Gdocs, so I fixed all that bold/italics, that so rudely ruined the format of my story.

Anywho, if you want t continue the story, your best bet is to re-read the story. Not too much was added, but enough to confuse you a little too much more than I want you to.

I will write the next chapter when I can. I am so sorry for the wait. I am very busy. I hope to get it out by the end of summer, but I can't guarantee. It will be complete eventually, though.

I forgot that Human Fluttershy is slightly tougher from being surrounded by bullies.

Shouldn't the Dazzlings have tags?

So pony Fluttershy is stuck on the wrong side of the portal?

8082674 Um... Wow... Oops! I really forgot about Pony Fluttershy. Oh well, I guess I'm writing one more chapter to finish it off...

...Or I write another story based on getting Fluttershy home. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Thank you for catching the dumbest mistake I ever made as a writer (ok, not entirely true, I've done worse. But it's up there)

Fluttershy was talking a bit weird to start. Why was saying "by celestia's grace"?

Wow. This was... kind of a trainwreck.

The first couple or few chapters were good and interesting and then things just started rushing forward. This kinda story needed longer, slower buildup. The end not at all felt deserved.

.....Oh crap, is she time hoping?

Oof. This was sloppy. Lots of assorted mistakes just spread randomly throughout. You really could have used a proofreader or two to help catch these. I had a hard time understanding what was going on since I was mentally correcting so many mistakes.

This is still super messy, but I'm starting to have an easier time reading the story.

This is bizarre, and I'm not sure that's a good thing in this case :unsuresweetie:

I actually feel the exact opposite, the first few chapters where trite to my but this dimensional battle between Colver the Clever and the Equestria Girl's I'm happy to read

also, I feel like this is what plays as the camera zooms out on that last scene

... so Fluttershy just forgot Sunset is not human and that magic is a thing that exists?

yeah... no.
Clover, for all her problems and short commings, is still a powerfull mage from a more violent time. No way Flutershy would have hit her before she could muster a shield and there is nothing Fluttershy could do that wpuld be a threat to Clover....
This ending breaks the own story cannon...

Please make a sequel.

Hard to believe this is the pony that created hearth-warming . She so stuck up.

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