Set right after the conclusion of the episode "Maud Pie," Maud reflects on her life and how important Pinkie Pie was to her. She thinks of how she grew emotionally unavailable, and how hope can be beautiful as well as tragic.
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- Member Since 3rd Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Saturday
Never2muchpinkie
Just your average brony who enjoys writing stories.
Never2muchpinkie
Joined 3rd Dec, 2013 ·
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WAAAAAHHHH!!!
Such a sweet sad story! Well done!
6314409 Thank you.
I had this idea brewing for like a week, but I wanted to resolve the runaway arc in Pound and Pumpkin Tales first. Now that this distraction is out of the way I can get back to it.
This is my take on Maud. Pinkie was the light of hope in her life. Hence why Pinkie is the only one to get her to shift her emotions, and even then only slightly.
6314448 I love Maud Pie so I love stories like this. Keep up the great work!
Nicely written! A sad story, indeed, but it's nice to see the world through Maud's view.
This is so BEAUTIFUL!
I could only imagine how Pinkie would react if she found out about this.
6315818 And that's exactly why Maud will never tell her.
She feels that Pinkie is much too important to spend her life on the farm, and so believes that honesty would only make Pinkie miserable as she'd feel obligated to return home and stay, having to leave behind the place where she has all her friends.
6315115 6314624
Thank you.
I had a rule that I would never end a story on a sad note, and bittersweet is as low as I'd go, but for this story it wouldn't work. It's much more poignant to show Maud's pain and what it cost her than to pretend everything is fine. Maud loves her sister more than anything in the world, but she can't be completely honest with her about her feelings, caring only for Pinkie's happiness and neglecting her own.
6315940
I know, but it's still a thought. Maybe even a fanfic idea
6315949 Unfortunately when someone loves another person so much they neglect themselves, problems occur. You demonstrated this well, and ending on a sad note isn't a bad thing. It makes the feels more intense.
hmmm i notice some passive voice grammar errors, some complex expressions errors, and a few redundant expressions errors. (grammar errors) the story idea is great. 7/10 until fix... i wouldn't be to worried about the hyphen required i think paragraph 25 last ditch should be " last-ditch "
2nd paragraph you have a hidden verb grammar error.
3rd paragraph you have a revise grammar error instead of different than it should be " different from "
same paragraph "socialize" is a cliches grammar error.
So beautiful, so painful.
6328671 Thank you.
You never dissappoint.
6316014 I want to thank you. Your comment helped me to clarify something in another story of mine.
I have a story about six year old Pound and Pumpkin and their little problems and adventures as they grow up. One of Pound's defining characteristics is a super overprotectiveness of her. Pumpkin considers Pound her hero, if a bit dumb, so she usually just follows whatever he does.
Considering their parents work a lot, and so does Pinkie(when she's not planning parties or out saving the world) a lot of times the two of them only have each other. So while they're happy, they also have a deep down feeling of not being important enough to their parents.
What helps to bring this to light is Pound getting beat up by some bullies trying to protect his sister, and he says he doesn't care about the pain as long as Pumpkin is safe, showing he doesn't really value himself, and is only important when he's doing something heroic.
I'd already established this part of their character in actions, I just never established WHY they feel that way.
So thanks again for you help.
6334696 You are welcome!! I'm glad I could help you!!
I hope she finds other sources of happiness at the college. It seems plausible, although not likely to be as good as Pinkie... well, excepting if she finds someone worth courting and that goes strongly in the direction of marriage.
Nice story. You truly capture Mauds feelings in your words. It's dry, like Mauds way of speaking, but not boring. Also, the way you use the short paragraphes really contribute to that "Maudy" way of speaking. Lastly, I love how you blend in the things we already know about Maud and then link them with new explanations and ideas. Keep up the good work!
7551127 Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
This story was largely inspired by the cover art. Maud sitting there alone with a single balloon hit me in the feels. One doesn't become emotionless overnight. You can go your whole life not missing something you never had, but when you're exposed to something new and wonderful, then lose it, it's hard to forget.
this was beyond beautiful. You really cartured the inside of Maud's mind
8516942
The cover image is what gave me the idea for this story. I thought about what it must have been like for the family once Pinkie left the farm. I figured things must have gone south considering how repressed Maud is. I don't mind it, though. I think she's an awesome character. Some of my favorite moments is her response of "It doesn't talk, it's a dress," her first smile, and her not taking no for an answer to getting Pinkie's cannon back.
Thank you.
As said in the description Maud shows up in the third chapter of "How a Pie became a Cake," a story that shows how filly Pinkie came to live with the Cakes. It's short and simple, but just like with this story with Maud people tell me I really captured the essence of what makes Pinkie Pinkie.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/189993/how-a-pie-became-a-cake
And if you can't get enough filly Pinkie cuteness there's a kinda-sequel in "Pinkie's first friend" which shows how she met Fluttershy
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/278188/pinkies-first-friend
8517417
thank you and i will read those as well
You can has review!