Not another Pony in Equestria

by Admiral Biscuit

Soft Shell, Hard Heart

Soft Shell, Hard Heart:
Majin Syekoh Makes Love to Soft Shell Tacos

It was a dark and stormy night in Baltimare, where the EquestriaGirlsCon convention was in full swing. Majin Syekoh, the ponified protagonist of our prose, was hungry and tired and possibly drunk because he'd trotted all the way from the Zepplin-port along the outer harbor and to the inner harbor (which is why he was tired); he had not eaten all day long because all the restaurants had long lines (and the city was paved with cement and the weed-control ponies did such a good job that there weren't any weeds to snack on).

Also he may have come across a half empty bottle of tequila and of course the friendly thing to do when one finds litter on the ground is to properly dispose of it, but you can't recycle glass bottles when they're full of liquid and of course it would be wasteful to to just pour it on the ground, so he did what any friendly stallion would do and drained the bottle and then properly disposed of it (the bottle, not the liquor) in a recycle bin.

Then he staggered down to the water taxi, which—as is normal in Baltimare—was a giant swan with a saddle on its back. And a cardboard cutout of Maud for some reason.

The swan boat water taxi paddled sedately across the harbor, until it arrived at bar where writerponies were all gathered. As writers, they had chosen the darkest, dankest, dullest, dive-y-est bar in all of Baltimare and were speaking in hushed whispers over tall tumblers about their latest projects. Maud (the real one, not the cardboard cutout) was standing on a table in one corner softly reciting rock ballads.

Majin stumbled to his seat and sat, planting his forehooves firmly on the table, like a boss.

Before everypony could even finish greeting him properly, a sexy stallion who was cosplaying as Equestria-Girls Sonata leaned over the table and placed his large, firm REDACTED on Majin's shoulder and breathlessly whispered into his furry little ear, "Would you like to taste my taco?"

He didn't know what else to do, so he just nodded meekly and and cracked his pasterns and waited to see what came next.

Not too long after—certainly not more than a few minutes—Sonata Dick tapped him on the brisket and then bent over the table in front of him and revealed his soft taco.

Majin's thought were clouded by the drink and the exhaustion and the hunger and Maud's soft prose and the sweet seductive scent of tacos and so it was inevitable that instead of eating the taco he climbed up onto the table and made sweet, sweet love to the soft, soft taco.

THE END

Comments

[Majin Syeekoh]

I approve of this totally-oc story who is a complete fabrication of admiral biscuit's brain.

As an OC.

[tsaukpaetra]

What a waste of food for a hungry stallion!

[bloons3]

The hidden depths of the writers party...

[TGM]

derpicdn.net/img/2016/6/29/1189754/large.png

[Conflicting views]

It sound like a "Inspired by a real story" kind of story...

[Alex Prior]

What in Fawkes' sake was that?

[Admiral Biscuit]

7380719

7380739
I'm sure there were more tacos where that one came from.

7380745
Sadly (or fortunately) I missed out on the bar crawl.

[Admiral Biscuit]

7380754
Now I need to apologize to Fluttershy, don't I?
..sorry, Flutters.

7380946
Luckily, I wasn't there when it happened. RobCakeran1953 blogged about it, and of course I took it from there. As I often do.

7382859
That was what happens when you have a room full of writers and the author of My Little Dashie takes you by the arm and says, "Son, I want you to write me a story."

[Skeeter The Lurker]

GOD DAMNIT BISCUIT.

~SKEETER THE LURKER

[Admiral Biscuit]

7387475

GOD DAMNIT BISCUIT.

[PresentPerfect]

what

[Cynewulf]

This is your best story

[Lancerlot]

There's one part of the story I just can't bring myself to accept. Nobody walks off and leaves a half-full bottle of booze.

[Door Belle]

I know that I just read something, but I couldn't tell you what.

[Admiral Biscuit]

7409015

what

This is all RobCakeran53's fault. And Zyrian. And I guess I get some of the blame, too, 'cause I wrote it.

7409199

This is your best story

7504071

There's one part of the story I just can't bring myself to accept. Nobody walks off and leaves a half-full bottle of booze.

It could happen. Maybe that someone was so drunk that they set it down and forgot they had it?

7827559

I know that I just read something, but I couldn't tell you what.

Things happened at Bronycon, that's all you need to know.

[Door Belle]

7977661

That's what I aimed for!

[Admiral Biscuit]

10111495
It really is. A magnificent performance, to be sure. Really captured all the drama and emotion of the piece, no question.

[Raine_Lionheart]

11264381

Look, when you dive into a fic where the title starts out “Not Another” . . . you were warned.

Fair.

You missed this one:

Yes, but it isn't a Twilight emoticon

[Raine_Lionheart]

I feel slightly gross.

[Admiral Biscuit]

11265450

Yes, but it isn't a Twilight emoticon

Good point. Well, there isn’t a Twilight being sick emoticon. Somebody tell Knighty we need it.

I feel slightly gross.

You should, I can’t believe I actually wrote that. ROBCakeran twisted my arm, and I crumbled under pressure like a cheap taco.