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The Abyss


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Twilight Sparkle is lonely and is determined to change that.

She’s had her eyes on Rainbow Dash for a while, but she doesn’t know how to truly express her feelings. No books were able to properly explain how to cope with her feelings of love, leaving her frustrated and confused. She has tried dropping subtle hints here and there, but Rainbow is oblivious to her advances and Twilight is too nervous to spill her heart out to her.

So she waits, spending many months devising a way to get Rainbow to see her more than just a good friend. Given a set of perfect circumstances, Twilight is finally able to put her plan into action. Now, Twilight might finally be able to see if she can turn her friendship with Rainbow into something wonderful.


Edited by Rated Ponystar and Alcatraz

Featured on Equestria Daily

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 283 )

Nice story so far. I like how Twilight's personality was played with to show her affection for Rainbow Dash and the awkwardness that ensues. Her mentioning that there were no books about bringing up dating got a smile out of me, as it reminded me of Twilight back in Season 1. I guess there's still some of her old self inside of her. :twilightsheepish:

Anyway, it was well-written and quite enjoyable, so I'm interested to see what happens next. :twilightsmile:

Adorkable Twilight is adorkable

Ah this is great. I just love having the image of Twilight in my head acting all of this out. Made me giggle and smile while reading this. I can not wait to see how this plays out.

You're already looking to outdo yourself again. Well done indeed.

5375682 Don't thank me for speaking the truth :raritywink:

Well, so far it's enjoyable, but...wasn't this the story you were saying was going to be Tragedy tag? That makes me nervous...

5375710 Yeah, I chose to make things a little less dark and added a better ending.

The adorkable feels are already approaching max levels! :D

D'aaawww.
Adorable already. If I hadn't read the comments before typing this, I too, would be worried about when the tragedy would strike. Now I'm simply concerned about what would make this sad. I could definitely see this happening in an episode, 'cause it sounds like the sort of thing Twilight would do. Can't wait for more :twilightsmile:

Rainbow shook herself like a dog as she tried to get most of the water off of her. “Hey, you have a spare towel I can use? I’m kinda wet.”

And so is Twilight :raritywink:

Heya Twilight!” she heard Rainbow say as she closed the door.

Missing comma.

Rainbow was already at the place they usually read together, a pile of plushy cushions and thick blankets.

"Plush" may be better here. Why resemble plush when you can be plush? Unless you were going for the image of character shaped cushions. They are all shaped like books. Except for the Celestia dakimakura.

They say to get an audience to laugh, you have to first make them cry. And to get an audience to cry, you have to first make them laugh. You made me laugh, and with that sad tag, I am sure you will make me cry.

Wen I saw that title, I thought of this song. For some reason.

As usual you have piqued my interest and earned a favorite and a like.

Also, well done on the editing, Rated Ponystar. Editors rarely get the accolades they deserve.

KBO.:twilightsmile:

I love it so far. This Twilight is the Twilight I love the most, but I must say I'm terrified with that sad tag. So I don't think my heart would have apreciated if it had a tragedy tag instead. :pinkiesad2:

One more thing I meant to add. This story reminds me of the manga I''s by Masakazu Katsura. With Twilight as Ichitaka and Rainbow as Iori. Mainly because it is from the perspective of a single character and we do not know the mind of the other character involved. It is one of my favorite completed manga.

“Not that I’m complaining or anything, but how come you didn’t ask Spike?” Rainbow asked with a giggle, using a hoof to cover her growing smile.

“The funny thing is that I did ask him, and even before I asked him, I kinda already knew his answer…”

“He said no, didn’t he?” Rainbow asked with a snicker.

An odd thing to suggest that Spike would do, considering he's never backed away from displaying affection in the show. He's probably one of the "huggiest" characters when you come down to it, actually.

Anyways, best of luck with this.

She has tried dropping subtle hints here and there, but Rainbow is oblivious to her advances

Use the subliminal messages while she's flying. She'll subconsciously develop feelings for Twilight, and the rest is easy from there.

“Want me to dry you off for you?”

There's gotta be a better way of wording that.

Pretty cute start to it.

you don't need the "for you" part.
5376584

That "Sad" tag is making me nervous.

5376516 The funny thing is that I had thought of writing a small story based off of that idea. :P

I NEES TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!! :flutterrage:

Comment posted by Brony4726 deleted Dec 13th, 2014

“Yeah, I’m sure! I mean, what else is there to do in an empty library?”

Abyss? Clop fic idea maybe?

5377297 I NEED THAT STORY NOW...I mean after this story if you'd like

5377394 ... Unless I'm having those prophetic dreams again, it's been done already.
Try searching the Twidash group. I think I scrolled past it in the romance section, but it's assuredly under clop as well. I think that's where Riser got the idea in the first place... maybe.

That, or it will be done because of this conversation, and I'm having those prophetic dreams again. Which means I might have destabilized the time line and ruined the future. Again. Joy.

Damn your amazing ability to write, Abyss.. And I mean that in the best way possible.

Yay! A fic about one of my favorite ships. :twilightsmile::heart::rainbowkiss:

Hnnngh, that cover picture is adorable!

5375950

...you won’t get me wet when we read together!”

I doubt it.

“Yeah, I’m sure! I mean, what else is there to do in an empty library?”
(Shaking head) Oh Rainbow Dash.

5378463 Self-fulfilling prophecies are fine, it's self-negating prophecies that cause problems.

You write really well, which is good if you're doing a story on Purple Smarts. I'm very excited to see more of this :pinkiesmile:

5380654 Nah; Either way is nothing but trouble. Trust me on that. That's why prophecy sucks, gets you coming and going.

Such a cute story so far! Please continue soon! ^^

Pretty cute start. Looking forward to reading more :moustache:

Very nicely done. Glad to see how well--and very possible--this story could develop into a normal/cannon episode. Keep it up!

:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

5376516
That seems... Highly unethical.
Using subliminal messages to brainwash someone into falling in love with you or at least becoming attractive to you? Yeah, that's the stuff of horror stories.

5384211

Maybe if the message was something like "Twilight has a thing for you", it wouldn't really be unethical then, as all it would do is plant in Dash's mind that Twilight has a thing for her. How she acts from there is still entirely up to her.

5384211
That could actually make a really nice story there. Twilght captures RD's attention through these unethical means, and they fall into a relationship. Over time:
A.
Twilight begins to regret her actions and develops an overwhelming sense of guilt and ends up doing something tragic to herself; consumed by guilt.
B.
She ends up telling RD the truth, and RD loses all trust in Twilight and does something tragic. Twilight follows suit; consumed by guilt.

That could really work, as long as it'd have the Tragic tag.
Get to work on that 5377297
If you want to, that is...

Comment posted by deli73 deleted Dec 15th, 2014

5376516

There's already a fic about that. Not that bad, but not that great either. It's probably al about execussion. (The subliminal love thing). But yeah B is way to OOC. Since Dashie isn't the suicidal type (unless she was tortured ala Cupcake Chronicles, or Fragmented Harmony (Milesprowers sequel.).




5384446

That'd be an interesting subliminal hint to drop.

Is this story in the same universe as "I'll Always Be There For You"?

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