• Member Since 12th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 26th, 2018

Star Destroyer

I lurk in parks and rummage through ashtrays to find cigarettes that aren't completely smoked out. Bonus points if they have lipstick. It's like having a relationship.

Comments ( 94 )



This... is so wrong. And yet, so right.

Have a like.

5332454 Thankee kindly, Masked Man!

You magnificent bastard

...I just read one of the most well written stories that's been produced on this website in a month, and it was about Rarity putting a sno-cone in Derpy's ass.

Faith in the Brony Community?

5332490 So you cried then, I take it? I packed this with the feels.

5332503 Dude, it's deep. The sno-cone is a metaphor for Rarity's loss of self in her formative years, and Derpy's ass represents the constricting influence of society...

Actually, it's just a stupid story about sno-cones up asses. Damn it! I feel dirty.

... This is gorgeous. I love it.

5332526 I feel deep shame, and the overwhelming need to ignore that shame and roll around in the sweet, sweet pile of raised eyebrows and peculiar looks that have come my way.

I was about to ask why.

But then I realized I didn't care.

Fuck this story. Fuck it to hell. Damn it. This is fucking... I don't... Erm... Shit.


Well. I give you marks for the following.
Originality, Pure what-the-fuckery, making my brain melt a little bit, and making something such as this without it being labeled with the Sex tag.

Other than that, I am completely lost for words.

5332545 When I finished the story, I asked myself the same thing, but several dozen vodka shots kicked that troublesome question back into the closet.

5332560 That's the sweet smell of success! And fecal-laced sno-cones!

5332561 *sigh*

Remind me never to drink alcohol.

Blueberries and shit.
Reminds me of home.

And now for a more critical review:

What is this? I don't even...

This pretty much sums it up. I'm not saying this is bad, now, I'm just saying... holy hell, that was a ride.
There were parts of the story I felt were unnecessary or bland, such as the constant derailing from the topic at hand, but when the final third came into play with Pinkie, I was right there along the mane six, eyes wide and mouth covered. In essence, you did a good job at making me expect something from this fic, and then surprising me with an obvious solution.

I guess the whole "derailing" effect worked, because I found myself more concentrated on that than the actual sno-cone incident. To be honest, it reminded me a little about Cromartie High School, which is why I probably had little issue with it. Still, I have to put out a hesitant like for this story. It shocked and disgusted me, and it made me squirm like no one's business... but in the end... you fucking did something right, because I didn't press that thumbs down.

I don't know if I should congratulate you, so I won't. I'll just say... damn. Just damn.

Oh. My. God.

This...this is genius.

Sick, twisted, what-the-FUCK-did-I-just-read GENIUS.

I just about died at the "soup enema" part, and I was already laughing way too loud and hard for this time of night. :rainbowlaugh:

Couple of small errors, though. Early on, Derpy says "so could" instead of "so cold", and "plaintiff whimpering" should be "plaintive whimpering". There's a few more here and there, but nothing glaring.

5332631 Actually, that "Could" was purposeful. I wanted it to seem like she was about to ask a question, but i think it actually works better as "Cold", so it's been changed, along with the "plaintive" error. Thanks for those. I'll re-read it again later to see what else I can catch.

5332586 If it helps any, I don't know either. I just went with what came to mind at the time. To me, the derailment is really the main feature of the story. The mystery of the sno-cone is just a backdrop for the girls to have a really weird afternoon full of really weird conversation.

I would just like to take a moment to reiterate what the great 5332490 has said with regard to this. I can't believe anyone managed such a... bizarre premise, such a relentless stream of comedy, strangely believable characterization, and managed to prevent it from seeming in any way lewd or grotesque.

I can't even. :derpyderp2:

What....did I just read.?

I don't even know anymore! Why do you make such a creation as this? And HOW!?

I tried looking up both Pinkie Pie's Pop-Tart Penetration and Deep in Celestia, but I did not find them. I was able to find Cheeks and Squeaks, though. Could someone please help me find the other two if indeed they are real? After reading this, I have an itch I need scratched.

Wat. :rainbowderp:

I have an explanation: they're all stoned...

Wat? I dont even...


I just...

I don't...

Just take my fucking upvote. :facehoof:


It's kind of funny to me that this is getting such a strong WTF reaction. I mean, I knew it was weird, but it's just the way my brain works. It's always interesting to see your creativity from the outside.

5332998 The are unfortunately not real, but they have amusing enough titles that I might one day write them.

Yeah. I wrote my share of really weird fics, but this takes the cake...

5333941 .....This takes the snow cone.

Yeah, that too :rainbowlaugh: And a soup enema.

5333960 And all the points!

God Fucking Dammit you actually followed through with this. :derpyderp1:

This is... a thing.


In case you don't write them, you can always donate them to this group.

Welp, now I know why it has a random and comedy tag. Y'know, cause I couldn't tell from the name.

Seriously though, I didn't expect that... thing.

That's just so cold in more ways than one.:facehoof:

:raritystarry: revenge is a dish best served like a sno cone.

:moustache:don't need to remind my twice

:facehoof: RARITY !

:derpytongue2: Want some ice cubes?

Good jorb. This was funny. Actually made me laugh out loud at work.

By the way, anyone hiring out there?

What the fuck is this shit?

The title can't be serious, right? Right?

... Oh my god the title was serious. What did I just read...

Just take the damn upvote, and do what you will with it, I've officially seen everything as of now, and I no longer care.

What the hell!! This is so bad, It gave me Ebola. Why are they all stupid? This is vulgar and creepy.

This is a crime against humanity, a crime against nature, a crime against existence!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!

5335099 Nice to see that you got the full experience. :twilightsmile:

5334912 Oh, crap! Coach Z showed up and he likes my story! My life is complete.

“You know what, Rarity? This is pretty weird.”

weird doesn't begin to describe it.

I usually call it my ‘inspiration’ or ‘creativity’, but just after getting my cutie mark, a thirty-foot sewing machine with silver wings, surrounded by a chorus of cherubic foals and bathed in the most glorious of light, started to visit me. It whispers things into my ears. The most beautiful, wonderful things. Twilight, how could my mind see this intense beauty and not do everything in its power to bring it to fruition?”

Rarity, what did I tell you about LSD? What did I tell you?!!!

5334357 It warms my heart to hear this described as a... thing. That's how I feel about it, too. A shambling, horrifying thing that I've set lose. :pinkiehappy:

Dude, you need psychiatric help in the best way possible.

Login or register to comment