• Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen May 4th, 2019

ulquiorra1


Hey everyone. I'll keep this simple, I am not anyone important. I am here to provide you with something, hopefully, interesting to read. So please, enjoy yourself!

Sequels1

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A few weeks after the return from her second visit to Canterlot High, when the Princess of Friendship runs out of royal duties and busy work, she needs to find something to pass the time while her friends go about their busy schedules. Deciding to travel back through the portal to Canterlot High, she meets up with her parallel, human friends. However, when Pinkie decides to host another slumber party at her place, Sunset Shimmer begins acting differently towards the others.
Maybe whatever she is hiding she doesn't fully understand herself.

I almost forgot:
- The artwork belongs to me so don't worry
- and you should all check out this page where you see a very well written look into Sunset Shimmer's cutie mark. It helped inspire the description in this story. (Past Analysis - Tumblr)

Oh dear Luna, Featured: 1/8/15!
It must be a slow day because I am never featured lol
Thanks everyone for the support, you are all Amazing, seriously!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 107 )

If you do give this story a thumbs down or just don't don't like it, then please give me an intelligent response as to why you did not enjoy it. Thank you!

PS - If it is not you OTP, then do not down vote. :ajbemused:
I see too many stories get bad reviews just because someone didn't like the shipping.

Characterisation was near perfection, also the description of Sunset internal struggle felt very real


9.5/10 because it didn't contain Discord, but mentioned is species

Loved this so much. Sunlight is my favorite ship because of you :pinkiehappy:

Even as a Twixie fan, this was still pretty dammed good.

Great story, honestly if you'd continue it I would fall in love with this story all over again, yes it may be a one-shot from what I could tell, but it was so well written and the internal conflict for poor Shimmer was so well done, that I almost squee('d? I dunno) and woke up my family. I loved the progression and the way the characters interacted with one another, even the brief glances of interaction with the other characters was so well done, I would greatly enjoy reading more of this. Sunlight has been by far since I began reading the few ships of these two on here, my absolute favorite. I sincerely hope to see more of Sunlight ships more often but who knows, maybe you will write a possible sequel or even continue on with this one! Either way, great job on this fic, I approve 100%.

The story was kind of neat, but the changing first-person-perspectives kind of weirder me out. Is there any particular reason, why you used them?

5479723
You know what, I'm not sure why I started switching perspectives like that, it's just how I've always written fanfiction. :rainbowhuh:
I guess the only reason I write like this is to let the readers get a better look at how other main characters are feeling and to give them a look at their own thoughts as things unravel.

Sorry if it bothered you too much. :twilightblush: I try not to jump back and forth between characters every other few paragraphs because you would lose who's perspective you were looking from.

But thank you for letting me know that!

5479207
Thank you so much for being open minded enough to say something like that!
Twixie is still a very acceptable ship in my book. :twilightsmile:

5478887
Thank you so much!
I'm very glad you enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

5479296
Well this story is catching more attention than I had initially thought it would...
A sequel may, MAY, be possible. However, I don't know.

I did have an immense amount of fun writing this one in particular, and it seems that many of your fellow readers do like this fic. We'll see.

PS - I'm glad you enjoyed my story! I did work harder than usual on this one, even if it was only supposed to be under 5,000 words when I started... :facehoof:

5479791 You know what we need? More Suntwixie love triangle fics. I'm surprised of how little the are here.

5479845
Well, Sunlight seemed to have caught on a lot fast than I had expected, which makes it all the better, having seen that a lot of people have taken a liking to it, I feel personally as well as others (it would seem) so I would see a lot of people giving this some attention would be reasonable. I am quite glad to see it got the attention it deserves. Don't give up and have a great day! :twilightsmile:

I can ship Twilight with Celestia, Chrysalis, Sunset and even Trixie :heart:

I don't read yet this, but when I finish, I'm gonna edit this post :)

5479878
That is weird how there aren't many of them out there. :applejackunsure:

5479890
Thanks! Have a great day yourself!

5479930 IKR. I mean it's flippin Twilight x Sunset x Trixie, it's writes itself.

5479783 The jumping forth and back itself was not the main problem. I tend to rather like stories with only one or characters' perspective, but stories with more perspectives have their appeal too. Especially in romance stories it can be interesting too read from two perspectives. As long as you don't overdo it (which you definitely didn't), switching perspective is perfectly fine.

No, what I found strange is that you did this in first person. Multiple-perspective stories are normally done in third person for good reason.
That is because first-person-perspective is a device to draw attention to a character. When you use first person, you normally want to enable the reader to identify better with the protagonist. It's a tool that focuses your audience on the actions of your main character. This contradicts with using multiple perspectives.
The reader won't know, whom to identify with. Besides, it's strange to always read "I did ....", but with different characters. Especially when you switched to Applejack's perspective for roughly three sentences in the end.

I guess if you really like first person and multiple perspectives, you could maybe use one "main" perspective in first person and several "other" perspectives in third person, but I would not recommend you to have several first person perspectives.

5480004
Thank you for the detailed response and helpful criticism!
I definitely understand what you are explaining and I will take this into account for any future stories.
I'm glad it wasn't overly confusing.

Wow. I... I loved it.
Story I thought was paced perfectly. Has a great story line and nearing the end, my feels were hit.

Im not surprised that Sunset would feel lonely despite having friends now because she was evil and pushed everyone away. She isnt anymore and i could see those feelings coming back to haunt her for what seemed like forever. I really love the sunset x twilight because Twilight is the only person that can truly help.

I sorta knew about a bet between dash and AJ. But i thought it would be five and not ten. Lol.
Anyway, like i said, i liked it alot. Took me an hour to read but, it was the best hour ever.

Wish you would write stories like this more often.

Oh and btw, when you select characters for the story like on the bottom, i would have only chose twilight and sunset because the story is focused on them, not the others. Just a piece of advice ;)

For starters I'm someone who doesn't comment unless a story really gets me. Second this story hits my heart in a few ways, personal and that i love this ship. Last: this story had a really great flow to it, not rush but not boring, really awesome. The clear way you changed perspective prevented me from being confused. I also enjoyed how the split perspective wasn't a classic "This is how character 1 viewed it, and this is how character 2 viewed the same scene" but how it kept the story on a continuous flow but from different views. I'm not really good with wording but it was fantastic! I would definitely enjoy seeing a sequel to this story, continuing SunLight but it's your decision... all in all i loved it and can't sum it up any better than i tried already. :heart::twilightsmile:

5480504
I am glad you enjoyed the story so much and thank you for your fantastic insight!

As for the character selection, I try to pick those that have prominent speaking roles, if they only have a one liner or just background conversation then I won't include them. Thank you for saying so anyways, it's nice to see people on the internet being helpful.

5481680
Don't worry, I got your message clearly. :twilightsmile:
Thank you for appreciating my story and I'm glad I was able to affect you in such a way.

If I get a lot more attention from this story, (and I mean a lot more) then a sequel or short continuation may be in the future for this fic as I did enjoy writing this one more than any other.

Now I want a sequel that addressed the AppleDash in the room.

This was an adorable SunLight fic, it's a real shame this site doesn't have more. :fluttercry:
It would be really interesting to see all of the others reactions to Twilight and Sunset, I hope this might be addressed in a future Sequel.:scootangel:

"Yep, ya owe me ten bucks!"

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Lux

This story has lots of great layers to it. I like the way you also divided it up into both perspectives of Twilight and Sunset.

Awesome face this is amazing :rainbowlaugh::heart::derpytongue2:

Adding this to my express read later list because I do love me some SunLight, but I have to say one thing right now:

That chapter title is OBNOXIOUS. I have a feeling the downvotes you have are JUST for that.

I cant seem to get enough SunLight (i know i know just go outside)

5484103
100% agreement here.

Just like I had recalled them before, I recited my feats to Celestia in a now more level tone after noticed the glimpse of amazement in her eyes a moment ago. "I can make things move without touching them." I proceeded to place all of the still whole desks back in place. "I can make animals do what I want without training them." I looked to the judges, all of them still bunched together on the floor. "Please, take your seats." I said this quietly and calmly, and they walked back to their chairs and sat in them respectively. Never taking my eyes off the last stallion with the crooked glasses, the one who had ultimately failed my entrance, I said, "I can make bad things happen to ponies who are mean to me." He slumped at his desk.

PLEASE TELL ME THAT REFERENCE WAS INTENTIONAL

EDIT: Just read further. Definitely intentional. I'm going to like it without finishing just for that.

This was a real good story :pinkiesmile: I honestly think a sequel is in order but I hope it would be Sunset Visiting Twilight in equestria :twilightsmile: I think it would great and helpful for Sunset to finally get rid of some baggage :scootangel: It was good read though the perspectives were weird jumping so much but was unique and you separated them well :twilightblush: Though from one writer to another with how long this one shot became you should of probably split the perspectives into chapters seen other writers do that :twilightsmile: All in all it was a good story and I hope you do want to make a sequel I think that would be wonderful :twilightblush:

5484586
:rainbowlaugh: Yes you're right, it was. I was waiting for someone to call me out on it.
Glad you enjoyed it!

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. I only have two issues with it. The first, was how Sunset's flashback was taken almost completely from Voldemorts origin stuff. It really broke the immersion on an otherwise fine story, and parts of it just didn't seem to fit.

My other problem, is the fact that Flash Sentry wasn't addressed at all. If a story is going to take place in the EqG universe, you really need to show why Twilight, who had been shown as having a crush on Flash, is suddenly interested in someone else. I would have really liked to see the transition of Twilight's feelings.

Overall, an enjoyable read.

5484717
Actually that was the idea I had, should I write a sequel. :applejackunsure:
The only reason I didn't split this into separate chapters is that I have a serious problem with starting new stories/chapters and it would force me into writer's block. :facehoof:
But thanks for the input and for enjoying my story so much! :twilightsmile:

5485341 implying fs exists

nonono

K my review

Good sound good graphics good gameplay bad song track bad videoshow 8/3.?

Wow really good story but the conversation between Sunset and Celestia seemed like the on between Dumbledore and Tom in the orphanage

I do enjoy a good SunLight fic, therefore I enjoyed yours. Very well written. Congrats on getting the feature and Flutter On! :yay:

5479878

Suntwixilunestia. Yes, this is my OTO.

Hnnnng, feels. :heart:

This was nice to read c:

Very nicely done, and would like to see a follow up.

"I know you aren't alright, is there anything you want to talk about?"

"...Do you ever feel alone, even when you are surrounded by other people? It's not like regular loneliness, it just feels like..." I started to cry again. "It just f-feels like you're freezing, a-and afraid, and all you know is t-that f-friends aren't enough to fix this sadness, n-no matter h-how hard they try..."

Don't know if it's been pointed out already; but everything between these quotes also can describe someone suffering from depression.
(I know.)

5486067
If this story were a game, I'd probably compare your stunning and detailed review with something from IGN.

Oh, another SunLight fic? Yes, I can finally satiate my thirst for . . . probably third or fourth best ship. I don't know. Honestly, I'm more inclined in saying all ships are equally good nowadays. Anyway, I'll give this a read here soon, don't you worry.

Just like I had recalled them before, I recited my feats to Celestia in a now more level tone after noticed the glimpse of amazement in her eyes a moment ago. "I can make things move without touching them." I proceeded to place all of the still whole desks back in place. "I can make animals do what I want without training them." I looked to the judges, all of them still bunched together on the floor. "Please, take your seats." I said this quietly and calmly, and they walked back to their chairs and sat in them respectively. Never taking my eyes off the last stallion with the crooked glasses, the one who had ultimately failed my entrance, I said, "I can make bad things happen to ponies who are mean to me." He slumped at his desk.

I see what you did there.

wow loved this. this is my favorite ship since seeing the movie would love to see a follow-up to this.

This is just... Just amazing. I can't put my thoughts into words right, but this is one of the most beautiful and sweet romantic story I've ever read. Seriously, I really enjoyed reading it. Hope you will write more stories like this.

Oh dear Luna, Featured: 1/8/15!
It must be a slow day because I am never featured lol

The synopsis is not where this belongs.

Toodles.

I thought it was 5 bucks.

5487455
I, too, have a problem with identifying what ships I like more than others.
Hope you enjoy!

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