• Member Since 30th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 11th, 2019

Crystal Moose

Brony(eeds) a coffee... http://ko-fi.com/crystalmoose


Everyone knows Scootaloo: Ponyville's most prominent orphan. Despite her sad story, she always remains chipper and upbeat. Why is that?

Primary Cast: Spike, Scootaloo

Preread by TheWraithWriter.
Edited by Level Dasher.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 102 )

Well now...this happened.

I approve

The one thing more powerful than the Elements of Harmony: Weaponized Orphan Tears.

This is the best thing ever.

Holy Jesus, that ending though. Hippocrit Princesses.

I can only imagine the Princesses after having chastised those two. Just having Luna going "Pray tell, sister, why didn't WE think of that?"

A deleted scene that never made it into the story was Sweetie Belle being totally jealous of their club, and wishing her parents were dead.

Does that mean that batman is the leader of the S.S.O.C?

“I’m just big boned!” Spike said, rolling over and toppling Scootaloo from her perch. The filly tumbled down the pile of charity goods Spike was lounging atop.

Cartman would be proud hearing Spike defend himself using that phrase.

“Who through that?”


Anywho, I really shouldn't have enjoyed this... but I did. Upvote.

Meanwhile Apple Bloom had two big siblings to teach her restraint. Ten years time, she will be the secret ruler of Equestria.

Ha! Hmm.... Applejack and Apple Bloom could use that trick.

Obviously Equestria is not Dickens, where orphans are beaten/killed for being orphans.
Please, sir. May I have some more?

Spike and Scootaloo utilizing their tragic and emotional pasts to manipulate and trick the masses for their own personal gain? Good lord, when they did they start learning how to become politicians?

I couldn't stop laughing. I really couldn't. :rainbowlaugh:

I came here expecting one thing, and got something completely different and refreshing. This was definitely a really original take on the whole Scootaloo-orphan thing.

It is so wrong......but still it is hilarious!!! I can't believe that it would work like that.....of course there is the issue with a rampaging dragon again (the greed from SOME), and I'm surprised that Celestia and Luna actually caught Spike this time.....

Rarity held Spike close and snuggled him "My poor Spikey wikey what can I do to make your tears go away?":raritywink:
Spike thought ' Thank you scootaloo!':moustache::duck::facehoof:

Moose, you have the gift - treasure it.

Not the kind of treasure Twilight was warning Spike about giving away, but... well, you get the idea.

hahahaha, brilliant.

Loves it.

What? I would never do such a thing! :scootangel: But could you pwease just give me a little bit of your left overs? I-I really can't afford and more food... you know being an orphan and all.


Kekeke, funny.


This comment is PERFECT.

“Hey, tubby!” Scootaloo said as she poked Spike’s stomach.

“So did calling me tubby.”

That Ending!

Eh, I have no idea what treasure Twilight was talking about either :raritywink:

That was another possible 'deleted scene' (though deleted in my mind long before it ever got to paper).

I court enough disaster with these stories as is, don't want to go rattling the cages!

“I know what it is like to not have parents,” Spike growled. “My mom and dad gave me up before I was even hatched.”

“Really?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah,” Spike sniffled. “They left me to be an experiment at a university. I don’t even know if they are still alive.”

I gotta say, I've seen a lot of explanations for Spike's parents, but I really think this is the first time I've seen this, them being dicks and leaving his egg as a lab rat...

Kinda...Well...Brace yourselves, but It seems kinda like donating an aborted fetus, but the kid still lives and is born...

Quick question: Why mention the "primary cast" when your story's tags already do that for you?

Habit, I guess.

I usually do it for my romance stories, I only tag the characters in said romance. So, say, if you are looking for a twimac story, you will know at a glance that my story is that, because the tagged characters are the primary characters.

Not needed for this fic, that is for sure, but like I said, it's force of habit these days.

Orphan Tears, the only weapon that is even more powerfull that Cuteness

5267946 Fair enough. Is that habit from other sites, or just from this one?

Loved it. It's a better Spikealoo romance than the one I wrote. Upvoted for giggles.

Just from this one.

It first started out of my own frustration with a few stories on this site. If I was looking for a particular ship (this is before I learned about groups!) I would use the search function, put in the two characters and the romance tag, and that should get me a romance about those two characters, right?

Well, not really, because people go crazy with tagging characters. Does this person have a few lines? Eeyup, tag'em!

So yeah, not really necessary, but I try to do it on some of my other fics, where secondary cast might come into play, but I only tag the primary cast. For example, I have done that with Guarding My Prince (which I really need to get back to some time!); it makes it very obvious that the romance is between Blue Blood and Flash Sentry, while Celestia, Cadance and the others are only there in supporting roles. It also means that if someone searched for the Blueblood, the Flash Sentry and the Romance tags, looking specifically for that ship (and I am sure a lot of people are) then it is easier to identify it as such.

Rather than, say, a fic where Twilight is in a relationship with Flash, but Blueblood and Applejack and Ironwill are all jelly of Flash.

It could happen!

GTFO! Your Scootaloo/Spike fic was way more fucking awesome than this one. Seriously. Complicated love life was what made me fall in love with Scootaspike. :pinkiehappy:

Actually, it was kind of also the reason I put allusions to it in this story. So there you go!

Well, I woudln't normally give a thumbs up for this, but since you're an orphan, and live in the ditch behind my house...

5268055 Ah, alright then. I see where you're coming from.

5268046 What/Where is this Spikealoo romance? I can't find it...

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

5268064 Where can I read that story?

Damn it, Georg!

What did I do to deserve you doxxing me? Huh? Now everyone will know where I live.


I'd link it to you directly but it's gauche to link to your own stuff in someone else's comments. It's called The Surprisingly Complicated Love Life of Spike the Dragon and you can find it under my profile.

Edit: Oh and Anonymoose took care of it. Not gauche when the author does it for me!

I've attempted to submit a few things to EqD but haven't had anything successful get through. And kind of too lazy to go through the process anymore. Only tried in the first place because I had people suggesting it.

So the moral of the story: Anonymoose is very susceptible to peer pressurelazy.

You have a few grammatical errors. If you are ever looking for an editor, my door is always open.

“Hey!” the cream mare shouted, looking around. “Who through that?”


This is so wrong that it right. Like and Fav.! Spikaloo for the win!:moustache::scootangel:

Batman defeating his opponents by playing the orphan card against them...

she said, draping herself over the draping herself over the drake

too much draping.

'shouldst' is just an archaic from of 'should', so I hope you meant 'That thou shouldst not abuse the trust of thy fellow ponies'.
The same goes for 'canst'.

Otherwise, liked it.

That was seriously in there? Haha. NEVER TOO MUCH DRAKE DRAPING.

But in all seriousness, I'll fix that!

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