• Member Since 14th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 16th, 2020

Bakmah Genesis

Insanity is only those of the vivid imagination


The world is a much different place than it was a thousand years ago. Pegasi played a huge role in the world and way of life around the country, as well as formed of the most popular past times. Unicorns were still as noble and deceiving as ever depending on their up bringing, but the amount of scholars in there midst have dwindled alarmingly. And Earth Ponies....they were no longer dirt on the hooves of those higher than them. They were nobles, busniess ponies, preformers, or critically acclaimed engineers that helped run today's transportation.

Being intrested in the Earth Pony's rise from poverty and into an equal light, Luna removes herself from duty temporarly and places herself in the care the one of the most trustworthy earth ponies she knows for the length of a year to help her learn the ways of the earth pony to help better understand them. Poor Applejack isn't quite sure what she is getting herself into when she agrees...

Thanks to MasterFrasca99 for editing

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 34 )

Oh this is gonna be good! Hehehe, I can only imagine the hilarity that shall ensue when Luna arrives and hope it's half as funny as the image of Luna trying to plow a field while Big Mac walks right past her with his own plow with a completely nonchalant expression on his face.

Oh Luna.. Someone needs to teach to ask instead of declare, heh! :pinkiehappy:

I love me some Lunajack. Looking forward to more! :ajsmug:

Luna: How do thee levitate thy shit around?
AJ: We can't
Luna: Sayeth whaaaaaaaaaat?!

An applejack x Luna?

My Luna shall do no such thing...damn author.

Lovely Not LunaTavi but still a great pair for the Luna

Fishing out the mail, she began the common task of sorting out her mail as any other pony. A millionth card from her cousin in Applaloosa trying to date her, a subscription renewal for one of Big Mac's 'magazines' that she had no care in looking into further, a scroll wrapped in the seal of the Lunar Princess, a death threat from the Fli-

Took me a minute to figure who sent that..

I was wondering who was going to catch that. :yay:

Let's see. Well written, interesting concept, original pairing, loved characters, believable interactions, possible hilarious misunderstandings and cute moments in the future...


I love it already!

interesting concept, unreadable prose.

Luna is wearing a scarf in the cover art.

Sold. :pinkiehappy:

The loud, clear rap of ordinate hoofwear

I guess horseshoes would come as an ordered pair ... but I think you're looking for ornate.

Once it was her's

In other words, she had grown to hate that Castle within it's recent existence.

Neither of these words need apostrophes. You need to watch out for stuff like this.

have you become curious in now


It wasn't strange for her to be questioned about today's society.

Repetition of "today's society" is jarring. Modern trends/customs, something of that ilk?

The goddess shook hr head


It had got so bad that there was a revel group


when they were own the ground


It was 't until an

That bit is unnecessary, I think.

She had been apart of many

A part.

Cadence isn't here to help me rule amd Twilight is still new to the prospect of ruling a country

And. Also, I'd get rid of the "rule", since we'll understand the manner of Cadance's help from what Celestia says about Twilight.

The best I can garuntee a few visits throughout the year

Guarantee is

but either than that,


"We thnk you sister!


Her straw colored mane

Repetition of the word mane. I know it's a nit-pick, but you can use hair, etc, too.

grabby her hair tie


sound of her master coming down the stairs

Mistress, unless AJ switched genders on us.

Honestly. I thought this was an intriguing idea, but as 5040777 says, there are a lot of errors that a proof-reader/editor could've helped you iron out. If you're gonna write more of this, please give it some extra care and attention.

A few words throughout thus have to xtra or missing letters, but that's all I saw grammatically.

Story wise, I think it might have been better if Celestia had more explicitly mentioned that the 'rise of earth pony' was a good thing.

All in all a good start, eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

*copies description into comment box*
*FiMFiction's built in spellchecker finds six problems*
*sees several problems FiMFiction misses*
Are you even trying? There is no excuse for errors that this site will point out and fix for you.


This story was riddled with errors and Luna's pretext for staying with Applejack was flimsy, at best.

However, I'm a sucker for unusual ships, and I haven't seen this one before. I'm going to keep my eye on it, at least for the time being, in hopes that it will provide some nice romance and characterization. I hope it won't disappoint.

I can understand your second statement, but your first saying that this is riddled with errors AFTER an editor went over it is not likely and is bullshit.



...your first saying that this is riddled with errors AFTER an editor went over it is not likely and is bullshit.

Since you asked so nicely, I went ahead and listed the errors I found in my first skim through the document -

“huge.role” - delete period

“formed of the most popular past times” - move 'of the' to after 'most'

“as.ever” - delete period

“up bringing” - one word

“there midst” - should be 'their'

“dwimdled” - not a word

“Ponies….they” - should be three periods

“intrested" - not a word

“temporarly” - not a word

“in the care the one” - the second 'the' should be 'of'

First sentence of last paragraph is a run on

Earth Pony not capitalized in this sentence, but everywhere else

Chapter One
“days events” - should be day's

“normal life such as her little ponies” - should be 'like her little ponies'

“ordinate hoofwear” – think you mean “ornate”

“more happy” – not technically wrong, but “happier” would be better

“if I have not seen you” – should be “if I had not seen you”

“One it was her’s” - should be hers

“juristriction of the Princesses” – ‘juristriction’ is not a word, ‘Princesses’ should be lower case

“grown to hate that Castle” – should be lower case

“within it’s recent existence” – should be ‘its’

“I have been aware sister” – comma missing, ‘sister’ should be capitalized

“I myself had viewed the second proceedings” – should be ‘have’

“proceedings, I find it very humorous” – should be an ‘and’ or a semicolon

“noticed during my time year” – ‘year’ should be ‘here’ ?

“longer… inferior” – delete space

“had some grip in business” = ‘grip’ is not used correctly, perhaps ‘skill’ ?

“Celestia blinked at the question, it wasn’t unusual for her to ask such large questions” – should be semicolon

“Luna,” said Celestia slowly, “You do know…” – should be comma, not period as it’s a continuation of the same thought

“…in mere hours, it would take me months to…” – should be semicolon

“…lower class servants, slaves even back before my banishment.” – should be comma after ‘even’

“It wasn't until an Earth Pony farmer had the gall to tax his crops.” – sentence fragment

(Not a grammar error, but “tax” is only used if levied by government)

“The next ten years he spent battling with politicians…” - should be "He spent the next ten years battling with politicians"

“…farming knowledge which is more…” – should be comma after ‘knowledge’

“Her sister was right on the field that she…” – ‘on the field’ isn’t an established idiom. Try ‘in the respect’

“truthfully honest” – redundant

“’Sister.’ She got back on her hooves. ‘Wouldn’t it…’” – should be ellipse after ‘sister’

“…as she looked over the option.” – she’s not “looking” at anything. Perhaps “mulled over the option”

“…take to having babysit a Princess…” – add ‘to’ after ‘having’, ‘Princess’ should be lowercase

“…it is our best bet… Do you have…” – several ways this could be done, but the ellipse is inappropriate as used

“Is one year really necessary, sister?” – capitalize ‘sister’

“‘…for that long,’ she sighed, sitting herself back down.” – period after ‘long’, capitalize ‘she’

“The best I can guarantee a few visits throughout the year…” – add ‘is’ after ‘guarantee’

“But, I advise you prepare…” – delete comma

“We think you sister!” – should be ‘thank’, comma after ‘you’, capitalize ‘sister’

“Her straw colored mane…” – should be ‘straw-colored’

“trying to make her man it’s normal, tidy self” – should be ‘its’

“The farm house was quiet, most of the other occupants still waiting to wake up.” – make second part, “as most of the other occupants were still waiting to wake up”, or something along those lines

“Applejack gave the post a firm kick, watching the hatch swing open.” – this implies both these actions happened at the same time. Change to “and watched”

“seal of the Lunar Princess” – capitalized here, but not elsewhere. Is “Lunar Princess” a proper title or not?

“Dear Applejack of Ponyville” – add comma after Ponyville

“rather… intrigued” – delete space

“…as a Princess of Equestria” – ‘princess’ should be lowercase, unless that is a proper title

“Your temporarily resigned Princess,” – this 'Princess' should definitely be lowercase

You're welcome. :ajbemused:


“trying to make her man it’s normal, tidy self” – should be ‘its’

You forgot to mention that 'man' was suppossed to be 'mane'.


That was my typo when I copied it. :twilightoops:

5068910 Waaaaaahhh? Dude, you should totally just copy/paste errors like that... so much simpler.

When I get to it yes. Everything takes time when having a life and other projects

5876817 Oh of course! Just wasn't sure if this one was getting continued or if it was a tried (and not well received by others) piece! :twilightsmile:

Luna is utterly clueless..... ......

Which makes her even more adorable xd

glad to see an update, forgive but I can't help but feel envious, I would not mind sharing a bed with Luna

This is going to be a long year for them.

She does have a point though. Her connection is far removed she is utterly clueless in the actual working of Equestria.

5054241 5055353 Never argue with a grammar Nazi; you are literally wishing for this to happen.

I should know, for I am one of them!

~ Neon Lights

maybe there'll be another update someday

So, I found this after awhile, and I am not sure why I said what I said. Then again, this was in the time when I was mostly sleep deprived and moody. I know it's not much of an excuse, but I do apologize for my actions.

I have school pilling up, so it will take awhile.

6837286 Understandable, I just started a new semester of college myself so I know it can be hard. :pinkiesad2: I honestly wasn't really expecting a reply from the author, at least not so soon. Maybe just to remind you that the story existed since it's been awhile. I feel like with so many other stories and life it's easy to forget projects you started a while back (mainly because this happens to me with a lot of things). :derpyderp1: Just a little reminder of sorts. Take your time and good luck with school. :twilightsmile:

You certainly have my attention...I'm in.

Ha! This is going to be fun. A little forward of Luna but I doubt Aj minded.

Login or register to comment