• Member Since 15th May, 2016
  • offline last seen Dec 15th, 2016

Adrian DeWiartt


I'm a man of few emotions. I try to express myself through literacy, and I find the content on this site rather amusing.

T

(This story was inspired by Madmaxtheblack's: Your Human and You, I implore you to give the story a curious gander)

Applejack has been raising humans on her farm ever since she was a filly, she and her brother inherited the farm after her parents both died of an accident. For years, Applejack has handled and cared for several types of humans of all shapes and sizes, that is, until that one fateful day came.

A strange object descends from the skies, in it, is a giant human unlike any she's ever seen before. Curious of how he came to be and who he is really, she decides to adopt him in order to keep him out of the wrong hooves.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 30 )

Overall, pretty good start so far. I'm usually put off by big events happening in the first chapter, but that's just me. I suggest that you just try to take it more slowly in terms of big events, be it a human falling from the sky or drider lurking in the Canterlot archives.
One nitpick:

The stars are sightly tonight, they were that night long ago as well; the day Applejack's parents passed away.

The stars are what? Dancing? Yodeling? And I would suggest replacing that first comma with a period.
This is the very first sentence. I strongly recommend fixing that so as not drive readers off right from the start.
Still, you get a thumbs up from me, and I await future chapters.

7263040 Thank you for your feedback, I'll take it into consideration when I write the next update

7263054 Always happy to help a fellow author.:twilightsmile:

Is this human
- the master Chief ?
- in the halo universe ( OC and/or displaced) ?
- in a whole universe you created ?
If there is spoilers about the answers to these questions plz dont tell us, unless it is very very important then put it the description plz

"reads description "
"Ohhhh..... my bad"
Still, does the story have any other universes that crossover other then Your Human and You.

7265617 No not really, I couldn't find any supersoldier armor that fitted my idea of what the human's armor looked like, nor do I have the money to afford a commission to be made for a cover of the story

You have gotten my attention. With this marvelous beginning this is shaping up to be a fantastic story. i require much much MOAR!

7265641 thank you and if you need any ideas or help ask anyone on this site, because like all who follow this story or are interested see very much potential since it is in the beginning stage and other reasons
-as you can see I like the idea/story-
"Lastly plz plz PLZ don't rush the content it I'm begging you " ;_;

Last questions is it in the same exact time,place and location where the original story is? and if that true is it an alternative universe of the original or no? if it is, then you may have to get madman's approval to use his character and time/universe for ©®™ reasons.

7285451 Okay, I will try my best to bring the story to its full potential

7285525 It's an alternate universe to madmax's universe, and I do give credit in the description. I do hope that anybody who sees this story checks out YHaY first

Comment posted by NexusFrost deleted Jul 29th, 2016

So, uh.... we still alive over here?

so cool, now, when the next chapter?

great intro and 1st chapter!, more chapters please!.:twilightsmile:

Please continue

7265641
From the thumbnail, I was expecting a Halo Crossover, as well as the description of le Super Soldier.

How come the man isn’t in his armor? This is halo inspired yeah?

A couple of typos I noticed

His unnatural blue eyes stared at her like a machine would in that move: Terminator movie where that big robot pony was sent back in time to kill this mare that would give birth to some important cold who would grow up to save pony kind. He looked her over studiously, slowly kneeling down once he noticed her glance up at him.

move: is a clear oops. Remove.
Cold is clearly meant to be Colt.

Otherwise a good story

The human looks like white Shaq

9277812
Soooo... Mr. Clean?

Is that Nathan Jones?

Is the mention of Max a reference to the original Your Human and You story?

I think this type of story is cursed, as every story set in this YHaY setting dies. Not the worst thing I suppose considering the setting itself is pretty garbage.

If you're all curious as to how this mystery human looks like, then here

HOLY FUCK that's big. :D
Kinda looks like a Gumba, to be honest.


9734059
Yeah, well. The original was rather good, to be honest, but I don't see how you can interact with that story w/o breaking it in all sorts of ways. The only way it could be done would be if either a) this is an AU, so the events with Max happen differently, or b) if it happens far enough away from Ponyville/Canterlot and doesn't touch the ponies involved in the original YHaY.

Otherwise, I don't see how you could really integrate a second instance.


9715451
I'm not even sure how that could be played out - see above.

10285830
the author was last online december 15th, 2016, i doubt it's going to be updated.

Login or register to comment