• Member Since 15th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 28th, 2013

TCSNxs


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After a successful festival for Nightmare Night, Luna comes to terms with a pony she feels a longing for, both in the past and in the present. What happens when she realizes she isn't just waxing nostalgia? And can her friend see her as more than just that?

A/N: LunaJack. Follow up to "Dirty Little Secret". Image courtesy of alipes of DeviantArt. Teen rating for some fun stuff later and language. Some inspiration drawn from LittleSallyDigby's brilliant "Roots".

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 108 )

I distinctly recalled saying "Less crack."

*shakes the storybox*
This box says "NOW CRACKIN' WITH 20% MORE CRACKTASTIC CRACK

Seriously, where do you GET this stuff? You whipped up an engaging, fun story out of nowhere... with no tragedy, no weird plot devices, and it is full of feels.

If you want some quick critique, I see a few minor grammar and spelling errors, but holy crap.

The drinking game. THE DRINKING GAME. I nearly spat my chicory coffee out when i read that.
Okay, okay, that's because it's friggin CHICORY coffee, but still. I woulda nearly blown regular coffee too.

If this is what it means for you to keep writing what you want, Allons-y mon amis!

1521460 XD Celestia is trolling the ponies again... :P Terrible. But wonderful. :heart:

...Also...

“Care for a banana"

XD Now Luna, you KNOW better than to go asking THAT question.... :P

'sup guys.

Just a few notes on the chapter. This was an absolute hoot to write. I based the relationship, as it stands, a lot on how me and my wife interact. The story was going to take a slightly darker turn, but I couldn't do it without making it seem forced. As such, the plotline of the story is going to be re-written in a few days once I decide where I want to go with it. And yes, Xiangjiao is actually Chinese for banana, so it just worked out in my favor.

As always, thumbs up if you like, comment otherwise and tell me why I suck.

ONWARD!

1524798

Well, shoot, i better save the lighthearted copy!

Fascinating that you've based it on an IRL relationship... maybe that's why it's so engaging! Makes me sort of wonder if some or many of the more better characterizations of the standard Ponies succeed because the writers add elements of real-life people, either themselves or others, that they see as relatable to that particular Pony.

I know in my own work, I've enjoyed working with a character that is based in part on my own traits simply because I feel I can more accurately predict how the character will react to situations and stimuli. That, and there's a secret thrill to emphasizing some of my less noble traits when writing...

1525270

No worries, I'm probably going to go forward with the tone the piece as it is, just add a few more feels later in later chapters. This was, by far, the funnest and easiest chapter I've ever written.

In another story, I had to write out a 10k piece for a character in order to find a point of reference. With this, it helped because I have that reference point. Just need to keep it within the context of the characters as it's all good.

That ending was just magical. :rainbowlaugh: Kudos to you, good sir! I'm really liking this a lot. :pinkiehappy:

Thumbs up for that last section alone.
And if this is how you and your wife normally act, that's awesome. Many props.

1525518>>1525556 Thanks guys. :twilightsheepish: She actually commented to me once when we first started dating, "You're not normal." Couldn't help but reply, "Good. I don't want to be normal. Normal is boring." Love every since.:heart:

1525630
Now THAT sounds like a beautiful relationship. Congrats on a good catch- I know what you mean, mine is the weird one.

Okay, we're BOTH the weird ones. :rainbowlaugh:

Vile machination of Discord. I am going to have to use that phrase someday.

It seems that Trollestia is alive and well; when you've been a prankster for several millennia, even the most skilled mortal practical jokers are at an immeasurable disadvantage.

"Ah'm saying Ah'm afraid when the rabbit at the controls in your head starts pushin' buttons."

That's about the most brutally direct way of saying: "My fillyfriend is crazy and I love her for it!" that you can manage without using that exact wording! :ajsmug:

I guess it's hard for Luna to really deal with this situation; after all, she is an immortal demi-goddess and Applejack is but a mortal earth pony. You have to be tough to be willing to risk your heart on a relationship that is so unequal.

'sup guys.

Sorry for the delay with this. I feel I needed to go over a few things with it. It seemed prudent to establish the character of Applejack's "progenitor" a lot more before continuing on as this is going to be important to the story. Also, being that I personally dislike the use of human's in "pony land" as canon, I wanted to do a little world building to establish the place from over a thousand years ago. This is where the inspiration was drawn from LittleSallyDigby's powerful piece "Roots". Seriously, if you have some time to kill, read it.

I know this may irk a few folks and I apologize for that. Regardless, I hope you guys continue to enjoy it. Comment if you like as always.

ONWARD!

'sup guys.

I apologize for the brevity of this chapter. Originally, the plot was going to take a big turn here involving multiple characters and some intrigue. The chapter and plot line became too unwieldy and took away focus from Luna and Applejack. After a few revisions, I finally got to something I could live with.

As always, comment and let me know why I suck :pinkiecrazy: or if ya liked it :pinkiehappy:. Thumbs up is always appreciated.

Y1

Well, I must say I read this merely out of curiosity, but have been genuinely pleased by the humor and character interaction. This really has been quite funny so far, and I never thought I'd say this, but Luna and Applejack are delightful together. :twilightsmile: Nicely done. Almost makes me feel guilty about me having Applejack kill Luna in my story Penumbra. :twilightoops: Oh well! :trollestia:

:raritystarry:I'm looking forward to more of this, particularly given the implication from Dirty Little Secret that Applejack's gonna become an alicorn and live with Luna for ever and ever into eternity together. The imagery is so beautiful! :raritycry:

The one thing that I'm sure most ponies find annoying about the alicorn sisters is their tendency to calmly discuss things that only they currently understand over the heads of their guests. In this case, the issue of Twilight "needing experience" of political matters? What, precisely, and why do I think it's related to that book that Luna magicked up after Twilight and Spike saved the Crystal Empire from Sombra?

Meanwhile, I think it's about a 50/50 split whether Celestia will come up to find one of the castle towers demolished or whether she'll find Luna and Applejack married.

"Indeed. A very compelling argument Mr. Trotkalos," Luna forced herself to sound interested, "I was led to believe that Humans were an old mare's tale though?"

Brilliant. :rainbowlaugh:

Your interpretation of Luna and Celestia is pitch perfect. Luna being a bit of a drama queen makes sense. Apple Jack's one liners also for her character quite well. :twilightsmile:

Magic; Faithful Student, Magic.......
*glug, glug, glug* *slam* *hiccup*

The Solar Regent put a hoof to her chin in thought and shrugged as if it hardly mattered, "Assuming they don't kill each other, anything that happens should be covered by insurance." :trollestia:
:rainbowlaugh: THAT WAS RICH!! :rainbowlaugh:
Funniest ship I've read, by far.

Sup guys.

Sorry for the delay with this chapter. It started to run long, so the remainder will be spliced into an Interlude that'll hit shortly. Also, I decided to alter the tags a little bit. Somehow, this got marked with "Gore", which I've no idea how that happened. In addition, while there will still be feels in this, it won't be soul crushingly sad, so that tag has been removed.

As always, comment if you find something I screwed up :pinkiegasp: something or whatever ya feel like. Thumbs up if ya like.

Y1

Silverhawk totally should have used the line "I'll be in my bunk." Okay out of character maybe, but references!

Also, a cliffhanger? Come on...

I spotted a couple of grammar mistakes. I can only remember one though. You replaced 'water' with 'what'.
Here it is:

A few hours and many pints of what later, Applejack managed to calm down enough to regain coherency.

1695591 Ick, I thought I got them all. Thanks and corrected. :twilightblush:

She's gonna try a mind-meld, isn't she?

Y1

Well, that was interesting.

I loved this bit. Applejack vs. Moon was fascinating, and the minute details you put in were great insights into your ideas on Alicorn magic. Nice one.

Sup guys.

I really, truly don't mean to torture :ajbemused: the way I do. It just kind of happens that way as she's my favorite. In any case, this was a fun one to write as I don't get to mess with techno/magicbabble all too much. :pinkiecrazy:

In any case, the idea was never for Applejack and Luna to swap bodies. Its been done to death and I could add nothing to it that hasn't already been done. So simply swapping traits (Luna's internal clock versus Applejack's lust for apples) served my needs. A few other things will present themselves down the line, but only if they come off correctly.

As always, comment on what you like :pinkiehappy: or if I screwed up :pinkiesad2:. Thumbs up if you enjoyed.

ONWARD!

I must say your characterizations are pitch perfect.

Y1

Your Applejack is freaking hilarious. The dry wit has me laughing quite often, and that last one liner was pretty damn good. Keep it up. Never thought I'd enjoy a Luna AJ ship as much as I am,

1740380>>1740539 :ajsmug: Thanks. It means a lot to get that. :coolphoto:

"Hey, Applejack!"

"Huh...? Whoozat...?"

"It's me!"

"Who's 'me'?"

"The Moon, dummy! I need you to ask the boss something for me!"

"... LUUUNNNAAA!!!"

Sup guys.

To get the obvious out of the way, there is NO current plan to have Applejack become Luna's student. There's no way I could BS my way through it and make it plausible. :derpyderp2: I just liked how the line came out.

I will say this was a hard chapter to write in order to explore the ideas I wanted to. The idea of Astral Projection is something that has long fascinated me and, from the accounts I've read and things I've experienced, it seemed easily doable given how earth ponies like :ajbemused: are portrayed in MLP:FIM. More or less, their "magic" would be more connected with the spirit then anything physical like pegasi and unicorns. This will be explored more in the next chapter as well as more building of their relationship. A heavy emphasis on the latter will be placed in the next Interlude due after Chapter 8.

The previous chapters (not the interludes) received a cosmetic touch with the "excerpts" like seen here. They have no baring on the story and otherwise are just there for looks.

As always, comment if you feel and thumbs up if you like. :eeyup:

ONWARD

Edit: I forgot to credit properly Walt Whitman's beautiful poem entitled "Songs of Myself". There was more to the passage, but I needed to edit it for fit. If you get a chance to read it, set aside some time and do so.

Interesting. I'm starting to wonder if this will turn into an Alicorn Applejack story. She's showing considerable magical potential and the ease of her connection with the Moon makes you wonder what exactly she could achieve with the proper instruction.

1834959

I will say its a possibility. Staying within the confines of the story I wanted, this was simply to build up to where AJ and Luna hooked up, more or less. Applejack as an alicorn was kind of a vogue thing when this started, so I wanted to stay away from that outright. No reason to pay for the same real estate when you can put nothing original to it.

This story has already changed direction a few times, so who knows. If such a thing is appropriate and I can do something semi-original with the idea, it may go that route.

Sup guys.

This chapter was a little more difficult to write than I first anticipated, mainly due to pacing and the ground that I wanted to cover. It originally came in short, but I wasn't entirely happy with it either.

I wanted to use material from another story I wrote, entitled "Family Business" as a basis to explore other facets of Luna's character. Of course reading the story isn't required to get the gist of Luna taking Chrysalis behind a wood shed, it's there if you like.

And yes, I did reference Jay and Silent Bob.

Regardless, Interlude Three is next up and should be up within a few days.

As always, comment if you feel or find something I buggered up and thumbs up if you like.

When she didn't to return to Ponyville after failing to make any bits to repair Town Hall, Applejack was solemn for after the secret came to light. Granted, it wasn't exactly on par with Luna's, but sometimes a pony simply needed time to digest things.

I do believe you are missing a word here. Other than that, a great chapter. I loved the way Luna finally realized that she is head over heels for Applejack. At least the moon is a good secret-keeper, although it's only a matter of time before Applejack figures out what's up, clever as she is. Can't hardly wait for the next installment...:pinkiehappy:

1862845 :facehoof: Once again, I buggered that. Corrected and thanks. :twilightsmile:

Y1

Finally! An admission of feelings, at least to ones self. I'm liking how pacy this is, you're not rushing the romance and just letting the characters speak for themselves.

Okay, so I found this fic while Googling myself. Sue me.

I'll read this in the morning, because holy crap it sounds interesting but I am dead for the night.

:rainbowkiss:

So. Awesome.

I knew I couldn't write this story in this kind of detail, because I wanted to avoid confronting G1 canon and having to decide whether to try and adapt it to a more G4-appropriate tone or to simply contradict it. (Hell, I wanted to avoid watching any more of it than I had to. :twilightblush:) But I respect the hell out of what you did with it here. I had thought of a possible connection between the Elements of Harmony and the Rainbow of Light, but you took it one step further and made them basically the same thing, like thunder and lightning, which is awesome. And what Applejack says while she's transformed... There's no emoticon for "tears welling up in one's eyes but accompanied by the biggest damn smile" so I guess the text will have to do.

Some parts of this story could use some editing, and I'll probably go back and point those out later on, but overall... :yay:

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