• Member Since 6th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 26th, 2018

TheTwerp


T

Applejack and the apple family are always feuding with the Carrot family and one day Applejack has had enough and takes things into her own hooves.

But is it really a feud or something else?

A first Ship fic attempt.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

An attempt at shipping - be nice I'm not very good at this. :twilightblush:

Please click the like button if you enjoy. :twilightsmile:

Check out my other stories if you like this one.
(Shameless Self Promotion:http://www.fimfiction.net/story/51135/Weekend-At-Pinkies)
(Shameless Self Promotion:http://www.fimfiction.net/story/50574/The-Magicians-Duel)

This one was good. Only problem I had was Applejack having this crush come kind of out of nowhere. It'd be great to drop subtle hints from her point of view. But overall, good story. Thank ye.

1290091 Yeah after reading it back I do feel I rushed it a bit. It's kinda my own fault though as i write the story and then post it all in one day.

I should really take some time for reflection...I think for my next attempt i shall try writing and not getting drunk at the same time, it might help.. :facehoof:

Y1

Meh. An interesting idea, but I think that it would have benefited a bit from a few thousand more words and not having the fairly cliche scene where both parties confess their love. Or in this case all three parties. Not a bad story, but it could have been better in my mind.

It has lots of potential.:raritywink:

i liked it. but like others have said before me, i think there should've been a bit more to the whole realization thing. from the way the feud was written it seemed like it would have taken aj a bit longer to come to terms these feels.
at the same time it was nice to see another applexcarrot fic. the twin aspect was an interesting bit as well. pretty solid overall:twilightsmile:.

normally I don't read gay/lesbian pony fics (no I don't hate gays or lesbians, i just can't help but have some discomfort with the subject, sorry) but i did enjoy this, main complaint i have with it is that the carrot twins almost seem to forgive applejack alittle too quickly, idk to me it feels like injuring someone that way can be a very hard thing to overcome, but maybe im misinterpriting how severe it was.

1310845 Going for just a small bruise and cut - I tried to make it appear worse in Applejacks mind.

Interesting, but it felt too short. When i read a group ship like this it often takes more time to establish the connection required for a group relationship and to make it make sense, and it could use more input from the carrot twins or mabey some reference to the feud itself being over a love interest. If there really was all this pent up attraction bubbling beneath the surface shoulden't it have shown through? I thought AJ legit disliked them till the positive remarks on their looks, and even then seeing positive points in an enemy can be simply respect for a worthy opponent.
Still have me smiling at the end though AJ gets 2 mares, haven't run into that before. :rainbowlaugh:
Guess now i'll go check out those other fics you posted.

Liked the story, was an interesting twist with there being carrot twins.

Applejack the Player. Yeeaahhhhh!!!:heart:

Sorry, I have problems with this story and I'm stupid enough right now that I'm gonna rant about 'em:
- Most of the time, not always, but most of the time, people are mean to other people because they're being mean, not because they secretly like each other. There are people I know who love each other and argue, but it's definitely more playful than this here and never gets physical. When it got physical here I got worried for the romance side of things - if AJ could hurt another mare and get off playing the love card, that's whacked. Love doesn't excuse physical violence...
- Most twins probably don't want to share the same girlfriend, or if they do, they probably don't want to be with her at the same time.
- the transition from anger to love here was ridiculously, unrealistically short.
- And Applejack here ... Applejack is an incredibly confident character. I can't believe for a moment that she would feel bad for the way she looks, but I especially don't think she'd ever get jealous of other mares' beauty while still working hard. If she were that petty, I can't imagine how she and Rarity would be friends.

I think this is a good start for a shipfic, and a good attempt at writing one for the first time, but due to the reasons listed above, I couldn't it back and enjoy it.
Yeah, I know, I'm an asshole.
-- MH

Liked the idea of Carrot Top and Golden Harvest being identical twins.

3312322 Uh this was written a long time ago. I am aware of the problems with it ya'know? :facehoof:

Still I've kept it up as my first attempt for reminder of how I used to write, personally I think I've improved a bit. Thanks for the comment anyway... :twilightsmile:

applejack got her self a set of twinds huh..lucky mare :ajsmug:

A tad rushed but itโ€™s fine for its purpose of introducing a new ship. Nice beginning angle in having the Carrots and Apples hate each other. The twins nuzzling AJ at the booth was adorable :rainbowkiss:

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