What The Night Remembers

by TCSNxs

9. Minutiae Of The Night

"Is that crown too tight around your head?" Applejack was nearly yelling. It wasn't that she was angry, but where ponies lacked common sense, particularly when such dumb ideas affected her livelihood, she could hardly stand idle. Royalty or not, she pressed on, "Do you have any idea what happens if ya don't let the ground lie fallow once in a while?"

Luna watched it all with as much of a dispassionate view as she could muster, though she were thankful she wasn't on the receiving end of the farmer's bluster. The morning had been a little awkward between her and Applejack, but the meetings needed to move on. Working through the remainder of the budgetary items on the agenda had been easy enough as Luna was ever the living embodiment of an abacus. But when the agenda had moved on towards new ideas to increase incoming revenues, Luna assumed more of a secondary role. Applejack took the lead from her companion and seemed more at home. In fact, most of the others from the Ministry of Agriculture appreciated her perspective as one who actually worked the land. However, things became a bit heated between the farmer and another pony in attendance.

Stone, Prince of the House of Earth Ponies, glared at the upstart "Lady" with as much displeasure as he could express. His coal black eyes seemed on the verge of a violence while the muscles under his slate gray coat were tense. Though about the same size as Macintosh and just as physically imposing, Applejack took it right to the royal earth pony. To the farmer, he wasn't worthy of the golden plowshare cutie mark he possessed as he pressed on with the idea.

Stone's idea was to alter the timetables, published by the Ministry of Agriculture, that most of the farms in Equestria used to do away with the seasons when certain ground was left fallow. However, to Applejack, the idea was half baked and needed more time in the oven. Or the plot of whomever originated it. At that moment, it mattered little to the heated farmer.

"It shall not harm production in any way," Stone retorted evenly, never taking his eyes away from the farmer, "And you would be wise to consider that this has been discussed at great length already and no issues were found with altering the timetables."

"Uh huh. Ah sure as hay don't remember being included in any discussions," Applejack shot back, "Don't you even bother asking 'us little ponies' how we feel about it?"

"I shall explain this again," Stone said, openly mocking her as if she weren't understanding, "Unused ground is not productive ground. Using it to produce will only increase the amount of bits going into your pocket."

"And Ah'm guessing to you by proxy?" Applejack said, challenging him.

The farmer waited for a response, but none was forthcoming. Stone was caught in a logic trap. He couldn't deny it as the Element of Honesty would call him on it. He couldn't admit it as Luna would shut it down outright. He couldn't skirt around it in any form due to the farmer's direct nature. Silence was his only course as he continued to glare at the farmer.

"Thought so," Applejack continued, "Those schedules have been in place probably before your ancestors were an itch in their daddy's crotch," Applejack was gaining steam now, "Ah never heard such a damned fool notion in all mah life, and Ah've heard some whoppers. To me, that makes ya the damndest fool Ah've ever met."

"You would dare to speak to me in a such a way!" Stone interrupted, finding a measure of his courage at the verbal slight. Luna glared at Stone, but the farmer interrupted any words from the Lunar Regent.

"You're damn right Ah am!" Applejack tore back while glaring daggers at the prince, "Do rabbits control what comes out of your mouth? Do you have any idea what would happen if ya did what your suggestin'?" Luna covered her chuckle with a polite cough, as did a few of the attendees watching the verbal joust.

Applejack closed her eyes a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. "Look. If ya overstress the soil, it won't produce. The ground needs time to aerate and the dead plants need time to decompose. Otherwise, you'll sap all the nutrients from the ground, which will lower your harvests yields in the long run. Any farmer will tell ya that ya can't sacrifice long term benefits for short term growth. It don't make sense."

Stone kept his posture a moment more, but the rest of the attendees nodded in accord. As proud as he was, even the Prince of Earth Ponies realized he was beaten. Luna, for all her pretense of dispassion, was beaming inside.

"I believe we shall table the notion for now," Luna said, politely saying it were dead, buried, and had a house built on top of it. Applejack continued to stare at the Prince of Earth Ponies, but he returned his gaze only to his notes.

The rest of the meeting proceeded at a more normal tone and pace. Eventually, a few ideas (with the farmer's tacit approval) were born into proposals to invest in getting more produce to market via way of trains and expanding the rail networks to Equestria's outlying areas. With more produce getting to market quicker, more would be bought and more revenue could be collected without hurting the livelihood of the farms themselves. Given the prospective benefit to the rest of Equestria, Celestia would likely sign off on the idea. Though the sisters were equal in power, neither made a change without consulting the other.

After the meetings were called for the day, two of the Royal Guard were escorting Applejack and Luna through the halls towards a side exit from the castle used primarily by those in the employ of the Diarchs. Luna looked to her friend, "Did you have to be so harsh with him? He is part of the Royal Family, you know."

"If Ah won't tolerate it from you, what makes ya think I'll take it from him?" Applejack remarked. She was still fuming, but most of her bluster died away.

"To the point as usual, fair Applejack. Though you should know I shall never hear the end of it."

"Why?"

"You get to deal with him for a week. I have the pleasure of his company for years yet," Luna said, pausing to put a dramatic hoof to her crown, "And believe me when I tell you they shall be speaking of the 'upstart' Apple for years in court."

"You gonna cry?," Applejack finished a small smile. Luna smiled back as the two pressed on through the halls.

The sun was still high without a cloud in the sky as the two strolled through the streets of Canterlot. Applejack didn't need a disguise as much as the Lunar Regent did. The illusion was nearly the same one as she wore in Ponyville, though she opted to keep the horn rather than the wings. Applejack tried her best to get Luna to discard the pink sunglasses, but the Lunar Regent wouldn't hear of it. Prior to leaving, Luna attempted had dismissed the Royal Guard that was watching her. She knew it was futile though. After all, rounds needed to made around the capital city.

"Where we going again?" Applejack asked as the two moved through the winter streets.

"Quill gave me the address to a delightful restaurant," Luna said, "Supposedly, they've the best hay fries in Canterlot."

"How many times can ya eat 'em?"

"As many as I can get away with?" Luna asked as much as stated while giving a shrug.

"Ya know it goes straight to your haunch, right?" Applejack said, motioning her head to the disguised Lunar Regent's rear.

"Perhaps, but one advantage of being an nigh immortal, all powerful, magical being is one learns spells to cover any such bulges."

"They make spells that powerful?" Applejack remarked as the two rounded a bend.

"Think of it like a magical corset, fair Applejack."

"Uh huh, if ya say so," the farmer said dismissively.

"Do you doubt me?"

"Even Macintosh ain't that strong," Applejack shook her head, "Eat those things for a year straight and get back to me."

"Ever the realist," Luna said with a sigh, "Even after all you have experienced, you still look the practical side of things."

"Says the one who complains she has to put up with Stone?" Applejack replied shaking her head, "Ya could just banish him, ya know. Probably save ya a lot of trouble."

"There is a difference between dealing with nuisances and 'dealing' with them," Luna said. She saw their destination, so she slowed her gate a bit, "Where do you think the statues in the garden come from, fair Applejack?"

"Family members?" Applejack looked to Luna.

"Blueblood is one mistake away from his pedastal," Luna confirmed. The farmer smiled inside, figuring anything to give Rarity a bit of justice was welcome.

The restaurant, Beethoofen's, looked more like a diner one would expect in Ponyville. It seemed rather nondescript, but at least they served ale. The restaurant attempted to combine a road house atmosphere with family friendly service. Given the number of ponies enjoying a late lunch, it seemed to be working. Rockafilly played over the speakers while surly waiters moved about the raucous joint.

Luna refused to take off her glasses yet again, even in the face of the mountain of chili hayfries in front of her. Applejack worked through her mushroom burger while the incognito Lunar Regent seemed to take the plate in front of her as a personal challenge. Where Applejack manually labored to keep the contents of the burger from falling out, Luna was magically gripping as many fries as she could while easily maintaining the balance of the chili atop them. Such is where magic came in handy.

"Your gonna get a stomache ache, ya know that?" Applejack stated. She set down her burger to take a swig of the amber colored ale waiting for her.

"Eeyup," Luna remarked absently as she swallowed some of the infectious concoction. Her ale was still full as she fully indulged her course.

"Just makin' sure. One thing though," Applejack said before taking a slug of her ale. She continued as she finished, "Ah ain't sleepin' in the same bed with you tonight if you keep that up."

"Why not," Luna paused for a moment, seemingly distracted by the comment.

"Ya know what chili does, right?"

"Fair Applejack, I promise you I shan't fart," Luna snapped off a defiant bite of a bundle of fries.

"Ya say that now, but Ah don't want to be in the same room to test it," the farmer set her ale down as she finished.

"Have any of my theories been proven wrong thus far?" Luna said. She finished off the bundle of fries she was working on and finally touched her ale.

"No, sugarcube. But Ah know what it does to me. Ah figure given your a 'nigh immortal, all powerful, magical being' and all, Ah don't want to see the result. You're still a pony, ya know."

"Are you saying that my gas is any worse than yours?" Luna spoke, daring the farmer to continue.

"Ah bet ya'd blow out half the castle if ya eat too much," Applejack answered, returning to her burger. The image in her mind of a stick of blasting power tied to an alarm clock seemed to confirm her suspicions.

"My friend, you are being a ridiculous," Luna pointed a fry accusingly at the farmer.

"Ah bet they give ya the trots," the farmer charged back.

"Applejack! Such language!"

"Just bein' a realist," the farmer finished with a her forehoofs in the air dismissively. Luna smiled at her friend. She didn't doubt the farmer's words one bit, but the warnings were unimportant that moment. Happiness has such effects.

Aside from loud rumbling of the Lunar Regent's stomach, the return to the castle grounds proved relatively uneventful as they worked their way through the meandering streets of one of Canterlot's districts dubbed "Little Stalliongrad".

Much as the famed city on the far eastern fringes of Equestria, the neighborhood seemed a reflection of the spirits of the earth ponies claimed it as their own. While many small factories and workshops dotted the streets and alleys, there was a distinct flavor that the shops and cafes, the clubs and stands all possessed. Most the buildings were decorated in earth tones and possessed many large, open windows to invite the sunlight or moonlight in at any hour. A ball zoomed past the duo, promptly followed by a back of foals. Many earth ponies sporting a wide variety of facial hair were smoking pipes and while one mare strummed a balalaika with a soft beat audible in her mind.

"What are we doing here?" Applejack asked, looking through the expanse of the area. There was a small portion of it that appealed to the farmer.

"Meandering," Luna remarked dryly. She looked up and saw a Royal Guard hovering off in the distance. Most of the Royal and Lunar Guard made random rounds throughout the city, but it didn't help matters that the Lunar Regent felt a wanderlust in base of her city and those guardsponies were ever protective of their beloved leaders.

"Obviously," the farmer retorted. Images of a rabbit strumming a balalaika and dancing played through Applejack's mind, to which she shuttered the moon out a bit more.

"In truth, I felt the need the do a bit of shopping," Luna finally answered.

"For what? Your the princess of all ya survey, aren't ya? What use do ya have for bleedin' your bank account dry?"

"I am a mare, aren't I?" Luna answered, rolling her eyes behind the gaudy pink sunglasses, "Am I not allowed to go shopping when the mood suits me?"

"Ya still ain't answered my question."

"You'll see. I do need a 'common mares' opinion though," Luna looked around before continuing, "However, none would know me in this guise and Silverhawk would have a fit if I dropped it. So I believe you shall have to do."

"Ah still hate you," Applejack said, adjusting her Stetson against the wind.

"You keep saying that, but you stick around," Luna lifted the pink plastic rims adorning her face to look at the farmer, "Why is that, I wonder?"

"Cause your sister would have my hide if Ah left," the farmer stared back, "And Ah believe in exercise now and again."

"Pray tell, what sort of exercise?"

"Patience," the farmer finished. Luna chuckled as she lowered her sunglasses, but the sparkle in her eyes remained.

The Lunar Regent paused in front of a store and took off her sunglasses with her telekinetic grasp, pulling them away from her face. Applejack figured they were at the intended destination and looked up. The first thing that struck her was the name.

"Sergeant Flipper's Lonely Hearts Mare's Store?" the farmer sounded out to herself.

"What was that?" Luna asked as she focused on her glasses.

The farmer looked through the window and saw a number of items on display. The items ran the gamut from velvet-lined corsets to other items unfit for the eyes of Apple Bloom as of yet. The farmer backed away a few steps and shook her head while muttering, "Nah uh. Not happening."

"Did you say something, fair Applejack?"

"Ah've read many stories in Mareshouse that start this way," Applejack noted. She slipped on a spot of ice in the road and fell to her haunch. She continued on anyway despite the unceremonious seat, "Ah'll play with ya all night, but not that way."

Luna's face screwed up in confusion before she turned her head towards the storefront. Quickly connecting the dots, the incognito Lunar Regent burst into a belly laugh.

"You thought...." Luna said through a grin, her eyes glistening in the late afternoon sunlight, "Seriously?"

"The why did you stop?" Applejack accused indignantly, crossing her forehoofs over her barrel in a defiant gesture.

"To clean my glasses," Luna said, whisking the pink sunglasses to Applejack for her inspection, "A snowflake fell on one of the lenses and having a wet drop obscuring your vision is rather annoying."

"Oh," the farmer responded after a few seconds. She dropped her crossed hoofs back to the ground. Luna smirked a good while before engaging her magic, enjoying the moment at the farmer's expense.

"Now pick yourself up," Her horn lit as she spoke, using her magical grasp to plant the farmer back on all fours, "And let's be on our way."

Applejack finally spoke after a few minutes of silence, "So where we going then?"

"To procure some antacids," Luna said, "I fear those chili fries are going to haunt me later and I don't wish the doctors to fret over a case of indigestion."

"Ah. They think it'd be fatal or something?"

"Only in Trot Kong," Luna said as the continued on their way.

Applejack was looking over the schedule for the remainder of the meetings. Despite loosing an entire day due to the mishap with the moon, they were somehow on schedule. As the farmer continued over the schedule, she heard the faucet turn off from the bathroom attached to Luna's abode.

"Ah warned her," the farmer muttered to herself, shaking her head not for the last time that day.

The door opened as Luna pushed through. She looked none the worse for wear given her third trip to the bathroom that night. Applejack didn't tell her "Ah told ya so," figuring Luna was getting enough reminders as time wore on. Luna sat next to the farmer as she finished looking over the schedule.

"Assuming ya survive the night, we should be able to finish the day after tomorrow," Applejack snapped the binder closed.

"A pity you would have to leave then," Luna said, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice, "I don't believe it will be the same with you gone." She looked to the apple awaiting her on the nightstand, but nearly blanched at the site of it.

"Ah do have a farm to run," Applejack lamented, "Ah can't stay and play."

"I could order you to stay," Luna remarked, practically chirping, "I can even make a grand proclamation before the entirety of Canterlot." Luna stood up slowly, clearing her throat as if she were going to use the Royal Canterlot Voice. She stood up on her rear legs as much as her tummy troubles would allow and attempted some regality befitting her station.

"Here me, O citizens of Equestria! I, Princess Luna, Diarch of Equestria and Lunar Regent, hereby proclaim Sweet Apple Acres is now the property of the Lunar Crown! Henceforth, the Apple family, formerly freeholders, are now servants to the Lunar Princess! Let it be known that the Lady Applejack is henceforth stripped of all titles and obligations resulting from the same. She shall now be the personal plaything of the Lunar Regent until the end of her days!"

"Was that good enough?" Luna asked as she gingerly worked her way down to all fours.

"Close enough, though Ah think you needed a little more flourish to it," Applejack said, "Ya can't make such a proclamation without fanfare and doves flying past ya."

"I can organize it tomorrow if you so wish," Luna offered, "Though I must admit it may achieve a better effect the day after, given my current state."

"At least ya ain't pregnant," Applejack remarked, "Be thankful for that."

"Perish the thought," Luna remarked, "I cannot imagine the thought of a little alicorn running around the castle. From the stories my sister tells, having Twilight around as a foal nearly tore the castle down."

"Ah can imagine," Applejack offered, "Though I can't help but wonder what it would have been..." Applejack reflexively stopped as she considered what she was saying and remembering what happened that last time she professed anything aloud along that line of thought. Luna smirked, apparently agreeing with that judgement. The farmer corrected her wording, "Anyway, Ah bet it was cute."

"What of you, fair Applejack," Luna pressed, seating herself next to the farmer, "Do you not have aspirations for a family?"

Applejack thought for a moment before answering, "If it were to happen, then fine. Otherwise, whether it happens or not doesn't matter. Ah got my farm, my friends and my family. Ah don't need more than that."

"No stallions to tame the wild heart of the mighty Applejack?" Luna asked.

"Nope," Applejack said. Luna's heart jumped.

"A pity then," Luna remarked offhoodedly. Applejack caught on a telltale sign in her head, but let it go. The silence in the air was palpable and hung like a curtain obscuring a clear sky.

"Sugarcube, Ah need to ask ya something," Applejack asked after collecting her thoughts.

"Anything, fair Applejack," Luna replied, though her stomach protested with an audible growl.

"That hat over there," Applejack mentioned, pointing to the mantle above the fireplace, "Where'd ya get it?"

Stone and Blueblood, Prince of the House of Unicorns, were sharing a late dinner. The pasta dish they had was a little bland by their standards, but sat well in their stomachs. Stone, for his part, recounted most of the day while Blueblood sat silent while drinking a glass of dark red wine. Of course, Stone bent the truth to put him in a good light as most of the royal progeny would. Such was the games they played.

"Can you believe it?" Stone said after taking a long draw of his wine, "The damned farmer turned the entire Ministry of Agriculture against me."

"They have that effect," Blueblood finally spoke, referring to Twilight's cadre, "All things being equal, cousin, it may be prudent to let the issue slide. I mean, is this Apple really worth it?" Blueblood shuttered slightly recalling Applejack's part in the disaster at the Grand Galloping Gala a few years ago.

"I can't say I'm worried," Stone replied, "For that matter, I sent a missive to Auntie. I'm sure she'll put that Apple in her place."

"You didn't!" Blueblood's normally white face seemed to grow paler, "Cousin, of all the idiotic things you could do!"

"What!?" Stone seemed to be missing the point his unicorn 'cousin' was making, "No one, not even that whelp of a student she has speaks to me in such a way."

Just as Blueblood was about to suggest an immediate follow up message concerning the fraudulent nature of the original letter, a gout of green flame erupted in front of the Prince of Earth Ponies. Stone's smile was genuine, if overly eager as he seized the letter and unrolled it with his hooves. Stone's smile quickly faded into a frown before transitioning into a look of pure horror by the time he finished.

"What, cousin?" Blueblood pressed, "What does it say?"

"Dear Idiot," Stone began to read out aloud.