• Member Since 6th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 15th, 2013

ShadowBoxingKing


T
Source

You'd be surprised by how much can happen in nine days. Breaking your back on a regular basis to save your family's livelihood, falling in love only to have your heart trampled, and fighting an evil robot that threatens to destroy Equestria are just a few of those things. Never mind the fact that Ponyville is facing racial disharmony due to a Pegasus-led workers' strike at the weather factory in Cloudsdale, and Celestia can't be bothered to interfere when she's dealing with another crisis altogether. Meanwhile, Applejack wants nothing more than to stay relatively removed from the madness, but everypony knows that's never how it actually plays out.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 26 )

That was pretty damn good. Good set up, great execution and some cute character moments with plenty of foreshadowing and nice "shippy" moments without going overboard.


:eeyup:

Glad this made it to this site. It was a good 2:00 AM read in fanfiction.net.

Great beginning. It flows smoothly and the characters' mannerisms seem to be captured spot on as well. Added this to my favorites with a thumbs (or would that be a hoofs?) up. :raritywink:

When should we expect an update? :ajsmug:

781096
Yay! Thanks. :twilightblush:
I :heart: foreshadowing.

781132
Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to check it out here too. Personally, though, I don't particularly care for FFN's formatting. I like this site better because I was able to keep minor things like periods after sentences ending in ellipses (usually dialogue), which is technically correct and just looks better, if you ask me. I also prefer the default font here! /rant

781162
Happy to hear that! I debated with myself for nearly a week over whether or not I should emphasize AJ's accent, and I'm fairly satisfied with the final result. I understand that some people might not like "I" instead of "Ah," for example, but to be honest I think that kinda detracts from the story when it's overdone. (Just an opinion! To those who disagree, please don't start throwing bricks at my head! :scootangel: )

785473
I'd say no less than a week, but hopefully not longer than two. My chapters are typically on the long-ish side and I'm a dreadfully slow writer.

Another round of thanks to everyone who has read and commented so far, and to those who haven't yet, don't be shy! I love feedback, especially critique and whatnot. So go right ahead; I promise I won't bite.

Eli

Wow, just wow...I don't know what to say this is by far the best Rarijack fic. This quality material right there. Everything seems to fall in place so fittingly. Your way of writing is so engaging and the plot is ever so promising.

I have never in my life touched a fantasy book let alone mythology historical novel but after reading your fic I just got to ask you if you could recommend any. Your work deserves to be sitting on the best sellers shelve.

I cannot wait for an update, good luck.

786899
Wow, thank you so much. I'm very flattered that you think it's...the best. Hehe. *modest* That's a heck of a statement, though to be fair there are very few Rarijack fics to begin with. :raritydespair:

So I figured if the stories I wanted didn't exist, I'd just write them myself. Lol.

Book recommendations, hmm. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I don't read nearly as much as I should, thanks to the distractions of television and Internet, but I loved the Lord of the Rings trilogy as a kid and read those several times. My husband and I recently began watching the kickass HBO series Game of Thrones, and that's based off an awesome high fantasy series called A Song of Ice and Fire. (Warning: it's a long one. :trollestia: ) He also swears by The Sword of Shannara as a good entrance to the genre, but I've never read it so I couldn't say.

Anyway, thanks again for the lovely comment. Next chapter's on its way.

"The frontier folks often used primitive technology instead of magic or environmentally friendly horsepower..."
Yes.
gifs.gifbin.com/072011/1311246606_top_gear__jeremy_clarkson_thumbup.gif

Can't wait for the next chapter! Faved.

796584
I stared at your gif for the longest time... :derpyderp1:
Thanks for the comment and fave.

Chapter two coming soon, guys and gals. ~2000 words written, 5000-8000 to go.

Overall, I am liking this story, and I don't normally read stories with shipping in them. But this one is different, and I'm not sure why.

But anyways, I like the mythology you've added in, it sounds believable from a standpoint of actual civilizations, creating their own gods and stuff and things.

The character interactions are well paced in my opinion and don't drag on to long and you certainly know how to show emotions. I doubt I could write anything like the last past of the story with Applejack to the extent you managed.

I can definitely say that I am looking forward to the next chapter of this.

801091
Thanks for the comment. I enjoyed writing the mythological/historical stuff, though much of it will be edited out and moved to later chapters. And while we're on the subject...

...I regret to inform everyone that it may be a little longer before I am able to release chapter two. I've just received some very helpful feedback from a pre-reader at Equestria Daily, and I will be working on revamping the first chapter before I continue. In the meantime, you can likely find me posting on Ponychan to seek further critique, and hopefully find a long term pre-reader as well. If anyone reading this would be interested in working with me, please send a PM.

normally I don't read fics that are this long, but there were some good comments about so I gave it a whirl. man am I glad I did,:twilightsmile: very nice sir, please keep it up, and might I ask when the next chapter will be posted roughly?

870778
Eeeee, new comment, yay!

i74.photobucket.com/albums/i269/buckbeakbabie/gifs/giddy.gif

Chapter 1 (the redux) will be up some time next week, and Chapter 2 is about 25% complete. For anyone keeping track, I'm so sorry for the wait. What you've already read took me a whole three weeks to produce, but with practice I'm getting a teensy bit faster. Whoo!

P.S.: I'm actually...not a "sir." Heh heh. :twilightblush: Female brony here, or "pegasister," though I don't really use the latter term since I prefer to think of myself as an adorable little Earth pony. But man, is it hard to maneuver a pencil using only your teeth! (I tried after seeing it on the show. :pinkiecrazy: )

874248 haven't we all tried to write like that? I know I have, but that was before I watched this, it still didn't change the fact that I suck at it :twilightsheepish:

and also I am sorry ma'am, I really shouldn't jump to conclusions like that so please accept my apology,

and my god the gif is hilarious, I cant stop laughing at it :rainbowlaugh:

oh and I know how it is on the comment thing, I tend to have the same problem on my you tube channel, so I do actually kind of act like your gif there when one does lol

875212
It's quite alright, I've been confused for a guy online plenty of times, so I'm pretty much used to it. The strange username doesn't help, and my avatar gives no indication either way, unless one takes it to mean that I'm secretly a hissing, devil-worshiping vampire (shh, don't tell anyone :raritywink: ).

And people should totally comment more, but I understand why they might hesitate. It takes me forever sometimes to think of anything useful to say about a story, especially the more popular ones where everyone's already given in-depth critiques that put mine to shame. But any kind of comment is encouraging, so I implore readers to share whatever pops into their head, even if it's just one sentence followed by a reaction image.

This is extremely interesting. I am curious as to how this will play out and how Equus will fit into it. I love RariJack with an insane amount of passion. It is my My Little Pony OTP and I make no apologies for it. I rarely see well written fics with this pairing that are not clop. Don't get me wrong, I am not against clop, but it is nice to see a well thought out multi chapter story like this with my "most favoritest pariting"

I am glad I am not the only one who likes to play Pinkie bipolar. Lol. She's such a fun character to do that with. Gilda hitting on her was priceless. I think I laughed for ten minutes. Rainbow Dash would've kicked that griffon's ass. :rainbowhuh:

893494
Yo, thanks for the comment!

I'm rewriting the first chapter, so unfortunately there may be considerably less bipolar!Pinkie and flirtatious!Gilda in the revamped version, due to removal of the flashback. (I say 'less' as opposed to 'none' because it's being turned into a journal entry.) But for the most part I'm adding stuff instead of taking it out, all while condensing the length and making every sentence count. About three weeks ago I had the epiphany that perhaps an intro chapter shouldn't be 50 pages long. :rainbowderp:

*off topic* I just took a look at your profile...holy shit, are you me!? We even like the same pairings!

...

jaymckinnon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/the-matrix-whoa.jpg

Me likey. Good dynamc between Rarity & Appleack. Although, I have trouble seeing Applejack freeze up when some guy gets a bit to forward with her. She seems more like the type to slide loose & buck him in the face.

874248

I too am a girl and much prefer the Brony name. We're the big happy family type here, why differentiate by adding another name to the group!!! Brony for life!! :twilightsmile:

908874
Oh my God, why haven't I responded to your comment yet!? *mentally slaps self after closing multiple windows containing ... "educational" websites* :twilightblush:

Ahem. Anyway, I get what you mean about Applejack. I had also wondered if that seemed a bit out-of-character, so I'm glad it's been pointed out. I'm reworking the flashback scene from a first-person perspective (an experimental thing, but that's this whole fic for ya), and it's something I'll keep in mind as I continue the editing process. Thanks for the feedback.

908881
I love the term brony, even if it is technically 'bro' + 'pony.' So clever and cute. :heart:

903063

I enjoyed the first chapter, really long or not. Lol.
Yesss. We're the same person. I have been secretly living inside your brain for ages now. Lol. :pinkiecrazy:

Oooh! A Rarijack romance! Count me in! :yay:
*grabs and stuffs on her poor abused Kindle*

12,000 odd words? 11:00 PM at night?
I'm actually going to do the sensible thing here and go to sleep. But I will definitely give this a look over tomorrow!

Also, how have you gotten 0 thumbs down? Impressive.

... I am your 667th viewer...
I just brought you out of the Devil's number....

Why the hell was this not featured?
Anyways, nice story. It's good to see a RariJack fic that isn't a one-shot clop fic. Especially in the wake of season 3, which seems to be just chalked full of shipping fuel for the two.

6 years late, but this is amazing.

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