It was a secret no-strings-attached relationship, that’s all. A few flings here and there, but that was it… and then, Rarity got a job opportunity that changed everything. She had moved to Canterlot to pursue her career, and time flew by. Now, five years have passed, and she’s lost contact of her Ponyville friends. Upon returning to her hometown, she realizes that everypony has changed in one way or another.
And out of all the news, what she didn’t expect was for Applejack to be a single mother to a four-year-old daughter. Now, that isn’t so much a bombshell on it’s own, but what puzzles Rarity the most is how sensitive her friend is regarding the little filly’s paternity.
After all, that’s what friends are for, aren’t they? To worry about one another?
...well, maybe Rarity is worrying a bit too much - or is she?
Bad cover art made by me. Do I get a "YOU TRIED" sticker? Shoutout to OkemosBrony & twilight-the-pony for editing!
p.s. - take note that this story is AU to all of my other RariJack family stories.
Characters, setting, premise and hook all firmly established; the writing is fairly elegant and easy to zip through; excellent so far! I just hope Rarity will be just as eager to see Spike as her girlfriends (there's no reason to differentiate between them, after all), and that he'll be playing an equal part in driving the story forward, rather than getting stuck in the background and leaving all plot developments to the fckng ponies. Upvoted, faved.
I like it.
Insert comment here.
Another comment here.
And another comment here.
Fueled your addiction?
yey new story
You used fresh twice here - I think it would flow better if you changed it to another word or maybe took it out.
I've noticed you use a lot of different words instead of 'said' when writing dialogue - you're probably thinking that your audience will get bored if you use the same thing over and over again. You're right in some ways, as in it is good to get some variation, but I think within that whole conversation you barely used said - I don't actually think you did XD
It's not particularly unpleasant but after a short while it's gets a bit too tedious and flowery, so I suggest going back and changing some of them to offer a bit more variety and make it more engaging. Some of the words you used weren't even attributions, so I suggest maybe looking up some essays on dialogue mechanics, because that helped me a great deal.
On the whole, I'm pretty excited for this as well - you've got a really interesting premise and I enjoyed the banter between Rarity and Fancy Pants, the DW reference and I'm intrigued to hear why Rarity stopped talking to her friends, something I hope you're elaborating.
You've certainly got my fave, and I can't wait to see this story expand
I can't wait to see how everyone's lives have changed like maybe Pinkie is traveling with Cheese Sandwich or maybe they are married and living together in the bakery. I bet Twilight is well doing her princess stuff and Fluttershy um just animal stuff. Now with Applejack having a kid.....I pray it wasn't a shameful one night stand or something like that XD.
Yeah, okay; now where is the rest?
~Twi
4011139
I think Rarity's the other parent, the timing works
Bow ties are cool, and so are fezzes.
4011564
Hmm ya know you could be right about that.
Princess, oh Princess.
You are the only author that can turn a ship I used to care less about into a story I want to read.
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Oooh a new rarijack story for me to read? Buck yes please!
Honestly though, this is one of my favorite ships, and I hope you can spin a good story for us! Prove me right, ya hear? I'm rootin' for ya!
Well I must say I have grown tired of ship fics as of late but I must say that this first chapter has piqued my curiosity
I await your next chapter with bated breath my Princess
This has a lot of potential. I can't wait for the next chapter.
^ Please no. My heart can't take it. Don't die Applejacck. Don't die Rarity.
Always did like me a slightly vain Rarity.
Interesting plot thus far, you got me interested enough to track it
...Why the heck have I never read any of your stories before?
Upvoted, commented, put on reading list. Let's bring the HEAT!
Wonderful chapter. Against my better judgement, I'm going to check out that side story.
Dear sir, I am very pleased at this
The pacing is enjoyable. And I still have time to finish my you-know-what.
I found some errors in this, tho:
Should be Sugarcube Corner.
and
You're repeating yourself. both parts mean exactly the same.
~Twi
Maybe a more mature RD saw the Wonderbolts for what they truly were ("Rainbow Fall" episode) and decided they weren´t worthy of her time or her loyalty.
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
4037971
4013237
Ahhh! I think I see what happens...
Tragic = Rarity: "What?! This stalion you seem reluctant to mention just left you pregnant, and never even bothered to make financial restitution?... Look AJ I know you're angry but don't take it out on me!"
Comedy = Rarity: "I vow to track down this foul fiend bring them to justice!... Why are you banging your head against the wall?"
Bow chica wow wow
Great story. Hopefully spike won't have a heart attack when he sees her.
4038012
For the record, can a mare impregante another?
4038194
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I love the nickname Rare-Bear. It's so cute.
Can't wait to see AJ. I've been on a bit of a RariJack kick. (stupid Rustic And The Romantic)
4038194 Or in more specific terms horn replaces phallus shaped object in the "operation" and then instead of white stuff... Magic.
I love it.
I must say you're doing very well keeping the Cannon ponies in character. Keep up the work my Princess
Also first
Lolololololololololol dashie why you such a bitch
Seriously though, I like where it's going. Keep up the good work.
4061792
Bitch? She is the bearer of loyalty, of course she is the one who takes Rarity´s "abandonment" worse than the rest.
4061822 *sigh* do you understand the art of trollestia?
t to go down on me, I was just being a trollestia.
I was just kidding. I didn't mean for s
Jeez, okay, I'm sorry
I am enjoying this quite well. They're still in character and I want to read more. MOAR!
... please...
i made an account just so i could track this story -- v. much looking forward to the rest!
You must bring out the next chapter, post haste.
Can't wait to see the reunion with AJ.
Now I know you're trying to give too much credit. This was only pass 1.
~Twi
*lightning crashes*
*blown across the room by the revelation*
Hey, bowties are cool! So are fezzes!!
-pokes with stick- Ello?
Update!!!!!
Hiatus over! Story now! (...please?
)
Lastly. Right. Guess this isn't canon Rarity. She would desire to see all six of her dearest Ponyville friends; then again, that really depends on whether the staff writer is writing her as a genuine, considerate character, or just dishing out a script to sell Hasbro's toy set and get the job over with.
Yeah, no surprise Spike would come last. If he was ever going to show up at all, he'd probably be very two-dimensional.