- Member Since 15th May, 2017
- online
Crimson Prose
I've got Shining Armor tied up in my basement for molestation purposes.
Crimson Prose
Joined 15th May, 2017 ·
Online
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Not bad. The only thing I didn't like about it (so far) is something that you intended to do anyway: make the CMC sound like their MAS selves rather than canon selves; but I don't dislike that enough to give me a negative opinion overall.
I'll be keeping track of this one.
Couple typos.
I'm very happy with this fic so far. I don't think I've come across a MAS foalcon yet.
That was satisfying.
'nother typo
The whole time Thrackerzod was talking, I kept picturing Princess Luna talking the same way. I haven't seen this series, but now kewant to.
i read into the first chapter about 200-300 words in, and couldnt read any more. i just couldnt. . . i want to but i cant.
Butt licking? Oh, yeah, this definitely deserves a fave!
5256604 Is there such a thing as non-violent disembowelment?
5256934 Well that was the whole point
I'm glad you liked it anyway though. 
5258003
5258135 Thanks for the typo finding. Glad you were satisfied.
5258462
And yes, butts deserve the occasional lick too.
5258542 Yeah if you watch the series in order it actually explains where the demon came from and why it is obsessed with Twilight. I can imagine those things would be pretty weird to people who haven't watched it.
5258476 Want to clue us in to what exactly was so shocking about it?
I'm curious.
Regardless of my opinion of the comments of this fic. I have balanced all of their votes.
i.ytimg.com/vi/CxK_nA2iVXw/hqdefault.jpg
5258729 'non violent disemboweling' - sure - disemboweling - taking the bowels outside the body cavity -is quite common in some surgeries.
well , that video was entertaining , so it's like friendship is witchcraft with less editing and a different comedy take?......
5258729 Regardless, the exchange between Apple Bloom and Thrackerzod about how they're not going to kill Twilight was funny. I like that I'm not the only person who's into rimming.
This fanfic is quite hot, need more abridged series turned to fanfic form
5258729 i cant stop doing their voices, and thats part of it. the other part is i know the mentally advanced series so well i dont really want to see what happens when scootaloo gets what she's been known to want in the series. but i want to read it still, dammit. i cant decide, but when i do, i'll do so on my own decision.
5258747 How very enlightened
5258772 Got me there.
5259048 Sort of. It has fewer people working on it so it's not as polished, but I enjoy the humor more than other (at least after the first few episodes). The same characters are also used in Rainbow Dash Presents, which all generally happen around the time of episode 10-12.
5259239 Yes Thrackerzod may occasionally come up with a plan to kill Twilight Sparkle, but they will all be really bad plans.
5259793 We really do.
5260410 Try having them all speak in Morgan Freeman's voice. It probably won't help, but it will be hilarious.
5261502 LOL Yeah, probably. How exactly is tying her to the bed going to kill her? That is, unless you take the route of using a pendulum.
5262063 I haven't, no. I'm a big fan of their work but are too shy to message them saying "Hay look at this clop fic!"
5265851
God, I fucking love you. Greg is probably going to... have a reaction to this.
What kind of reaction, or how strongly, I have no goddamn clue.
I think I'm understanding why Applebloom got grounded from Scootaloo.
5268487
This fic is actually a published record of Scoots's journal.
Buttons mom has got it going on
Oh he's really gonna get IT alright
i cant help but read this in the voices from MAS and BMA
What the fuck is this piece of shit
5268487 Scootaloo is a great influence!
5267237 Not an allergic reaction, I hope.
5287147 The image of someone laughing while clopping is pretty funny though.
5294659
5295188 I think he might be too exhausted to come into school for a week or so.
5295268 I couldn't help but include Button, he's adoracute.
5306421 Did it give you an allergic reaction?
It would have been cool to see Button and mom have some quirky characteristics like the rest of the MAS cast, but otherwise I can't complain about their inclusion here... not one bit.
5310559 What kind of quirks would be good?
5312789 Satirical (sersiously this should be obvious)
5312848 Well I wanted to know if you had any ideas of how to make them act; I'm always up for ideas. If not that's fine
5312952 Button is the kind of kid that would grow up to be a stereotypical basement dweller, always playing WoW or something. Afaik he's usually characterized as a bratty little kid, and the fact that he plays a lot of games is a trait in name only. He should act really nerdy and make tons of video game references to solidify his defining trait. Oh, and totally socially awkward. He should have a crush on Thrackerzod but not have asked her out quite yet.
As for the mother, her sole defining trait is just being a loving mom; not really all that much to work with. Perfect to flip it around. Do something to her that would make her incapable of properly raising her son, like alcoholism, or extreme grief over previous relationships (being a single mom), something crippling. I'm not sure what it would be because I'm just throwing things around.
These are just my main ideas. Do whatever you want, but if you're writing in the Mentally Advanced universe at least be consistent in that all the characters are portrayed satirically.
5313091 Yeah I probably would have had Button make more references if I actually knew many video game references. I don't really play enough to make good ones I think. If someone else edited through and told me good ones to make I'd probably add them. As for his mom, Applejack is already the alcoholic of the series, and I'd say her quirk is probably that she might try to replace her husband with Button. I suppose that might not be very creative but there it is.
IT GOT TOO GRAPHIC SOMEHOW
im surprised she didnt rip in half
5321082 Maybe, I guess I have too much of a thing for large cocks.
5321266 Cartoon ponies have really flexible and stretchy organs!
5322322
oh i knew that, i just thought that only applied to anime, cause they are different from cartoons and its ok, everyone has a fetish
I read this all the way through in their mental voices and laughed from beginning to end. This must continue for all that is indecent I the world. It must
5322322
Blasphemy! There is no such thing as "too much" large cocks. Hell, if anything, make them bigger!
These are brilliant, as always. By the way, did Big Mac break scootaloo?
5344536 I'd like to continue! I want to think of scenarios involving some of the other characters that haven't been involved yet; if I ever do I'll write up a new chapter.
5344703 Yes. If it didn't break their pelvis or come out their mouth, then it can be bigger.
Amazing chapter but I think you need to work on spikes accent a bit.
5360633 I'm not good with accents, I need an editor to help with that I think.
>searches mentally advanced series
>doesn't yield any results
>searches "Thrackerzod"
>this is the only result
god danmit all...
but ok so it's safe to say there isn't any other fics in relation to that fan parody then eh?
......
cause after watching half of it i feel a strong need to make a fic in the canon of the timeline of the series in order to right the terrible sin of the internet that has been committed by it , which was the show making me feel bad for fluttershy :"c
like it made me feel even worse for her than i do for luna uuuuugh the feels >.<
......
question is though would anyone else also be interested in a fic that attempts to give some much needed love for the fluttershy from that fan show?
cause if not then i wont bother.....
im also gonna post a thread about this in the clopfics group to see what they say , since i would think some loving would have to become part of the fic eventually as well , thinking making it open in first person but not as an anon which so many fics do , also we don't need any humans involved in this.....
I'm happy to see any Mentally Advanced stories honestly. I've not found another porny one than this one either.
I like your profile pic. And what's the source on that cover image?
5447461 https://derpibooru.org/469637 is the source for the cover image. There's an explicit version of the pic too if you search derpibooru.
5448641 you are a saint
5396076 Butterfly? Who's that? Oh, the yellow one? Yeah, I think her name's Daisy or something. Why the hell would you wanna write a fic about some background pony?
5508235 MY NAME'S-
...nevermind......sorry....
5396076
How interesting. I too have glossed over the idea of writing an MAS fanfic centered more or less around Fluttershy. Just so pathetically cute. Her and MAS Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash is so stupid, but in that cute innocent way. It's just an idea since I have enough work on my plate, but if you or someone else makes one give me a ring. Clopfic or not, I'd be interested in reading it.