- Member Since 16th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Dec 11th, 2017
Pizzema Forte
You never know where the green beans are going to land.
Pizzema Forte
Joined 16th Nov, 2013 ·
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You know a pigs penis is like a corkscrew. They aren't that thick at all.
5473738
Those pigs are of a special breed of pigs with thick corkscrew penises.
I guess at this point readers wonder, "If it's just the beginning, what's going to top THAT?"
not sure if gusta....
Thought that comes to mind upon reading title:
Captain Jack Sparrow: Donate what you can,
Gibs: Take nothing in return.
Are all the chapters going to involve shit?
Because I don't think I can handle that.
5659245 Aside from the first cloppy chapter, yes. It is a commission, and the guy who's buying the story from me is a pretty big fan of scat. I know it's not for everyone, so sorry about that. Thanks for showing interest, though.
5659262 Ok thanks
I'm not down voteing just wanted to know if I should stop tracking.
I like when writers explore new areas, because it's a great opportunity to find new ideas. Writers with more "experience" in the subject are much more likely to be limited by cliches.
You have an impressive imagination! "Uh, princess, you got a little somethin'" with scratching behind ears following it and "the worst possible scenario" are two great finds. The sex scene is a perfect balance between care and abuse, naivety and experience, and that's what I like. You also explore ideas like everyone considering Twilight a prostitute, which I didn't even think about.
oh god stop your ruining best pony
no its ok just calm down darklight
just.... go and read some nice calming romance
like my princess alluring yeah like that
I'm enjoying this story well enough, my fetishes have hit rock bottom depravity lately and every sort of nasty humiliation is good with me, my only criticism is the order in the way they proceed in chapter 3. If one is into the dank watersports , they usually don't piss at the height of orgasm and then orgasm-- the seminiferous tubules and urethral ducts don't allow for it. usually , upon arousal, erection and during intercourse urination is difficult if not impossible, first they would have to ejaculate, then upon the penis coming down and softening afterwards they would be able togo again, having a relieving post-coital piss. milk first, then lemonade. If watching the lemonade drinking is arousing enough, they could re-harden and ejaculate again , repeating the cycle, but first release should be cum. Scat is a different story, but I'm still not quite to the level of being into that yet so you're on your own there. Look forward to where she goes next though!
Don't mind me. I'm just here for the clop.
Her castle is an eyesore, inside and out. More constructively, maybe ...under the sunlight, but the crystal looked... would be a sharper contrast from gorgeous to cold.
Now everyone knows her atrocious table etiquette.
Obviously prostitution is the way a Princess should go.
I would have laughed if she had a body sandwich sign. You know the kind, meter wide by almost two tall.
7/10 No fangs, feathered wings, normal(for pony) shaped pupils, no nightvision eyes. Still rather adorkable.
Who wouldn't?
Nice, real good.
True dat.
Pigs are disgusting, dirty animals. Please go on.
Butt.
Think these things through before you take action Twilight.
Mud and shit Applejack. Don't do it...
Why is that hot?
There's nothing cute about pigs. Look at their teeth, they are designed for ripping and tearing.
The g-spot is inside her vagina, the clit is outside.
This was an interesting chapter. Not my thing, but I'm not paying for it.
Meaning there is no way three ponies will occupy it at once in this story at all.
I doubt Celestia's teaching skills. This is something she either should have drilled out of her, or taught her.
Noteworthy's livin' it up.
Nope. Sorry to burst your bubble Twilight.
Now...KISS!
At first. It's still better than licking pig shit.
Madam Author, did you see Two Girls, One Cup? This reminds me of that.
<sobbing in corner>
Least she gets something out of this.
Post orgasm urine usually forks into different directions, rather tricky if you stand up, but everyone knows that. It also takes some work to get it out. Urinating with an erection is tough too. First world problems though.
This must have been a bitch, and a challenge to write. Bravo to you brave lady. I think you actually consulted Two Girls, One Cup when making this.
How can you possibly make the next chapter even worse? Fuckity fuck that was fucked up, but I know you can do it. You're a powerhouse Madam Author!
5698769 Thanks! I never really knew that. As a female, you can practically do both at the same time with no trouble, and I didn't really think it'd be any different with males. I haven't really read much about watersports (when I first started this chapter, I was more concerned with trying to learn the basics to writing scat, and I didn't think the watersports parts would be too big of a problem with me). But, yeah, thanks. I'll keep this in mind for the next time I ever do an erotic urination scene involving a male.
5703206 It really depends on your definition or worse. From this point on, there won't be anything more extreme than scat/piss. Also, thanks for the comments.
You ought to check through and sort out your homophones and other similar words. There are a lot of places where a word has been replaced with another, e.g. Aura with aurora, to with too.
And what is it with people calling a shit a log? It seems to be in pretty much every scat fic where it's not diarrhoea.
I'm on an unpopular end of the scat/watersports spectrum. I'm neutral about watersports, neutral about shitting, shit eating it's a turnoff, and scat smearing its a turn on. My only hope is that the commissioner requested something like chapter 1, but instead of mud it's scat.
I'm just curious. As a young woman with a beautiful writing spirit and many more talents than me, what the hay made you decide to write a story so... kinky!? And you are moderately well known as well. I'd never have the bullocks to write something like this!
Anyways, commentary time!
The poor mare, depressed and with a sign hanging around her neck.
Something you need to work on is your Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, otherwise known as not using the names of the characters you are talking about and calling them by what they physically are. It's rare in fiction to simply call someone 'the black man' said unless you don't know their name.
And yes, Twilight can be that naive and adorable and fluffy. All hail our pettable Princess. And her four year nervousness! So cute.
I agree, Twilight is adorable and needs plenty of love, is stupidly sexy, and cute. You play her innocence up and it's lovely! Applejack, you poor abusive mare.
Mud!? Aww, Hell yes. This is my favorite fetish. Where the heck are you going to take this? I'm excited. Stupidly so! So much cuteness... I mean, it's not pig mud that I have a fetish for, but I can make an epic compromise for something like this! And just how causally Applejack is treating it. Why do you write such cute ponies!?
Wow. The description you have of the mud caking her vagina. I just... were you aroused writing this? Or really did it for a commission and for fun and to push yourself? You're a brave woman for doing this. You really are.
That kissing scene in the mud was quite beautiful. Very passionate.
I also agree that twilight's butt looks nice covered in mud. Shows off the shape.
Hot! Mud eating! It's just dirt after all. Did you write this story with me in mind? Wow. I really have to thank you! And that puckered Ponut. Miss, you are an awful human being who knows how to arouse men who find your story because of friends? I love you. I love horse pucker. You do a great service to ponykind, and this story deserves far more love than it has got. Shame on the ponies who downvoted it because they did not like its contents!
Wow, this rimming and tailhole pleasure is just... amazing. You're an incredible writer. I'm following you after this. This is amazing. The amount of detail you put into rimming.
If you didn't get slightly aroused to your own writing, I don't know what to say to you!
Could have been much worse. Rainbow could have been there providing live commentary and sexual advice for Twilight, and who knows what's inside her bowels, considering what fitness products she has to take to push herself to the extrem. Twilight could of had to do anal and crapped on his penis.
You... made manure eating moderately hot. You deserve the highest of praise for that.
6048786 Thank you very much for the kind words!
To start, I'd just like to say that no, I'm never aroused when writing. Even if I were to write a story containing every damn fetish I had, I'd be too worried about making it perfect to think about my own arousal. I do, however, think about if I were horny, or if this were my fetish, what would I want to hear? I think about how when I am aroused, my mind goes into detailed descriptions, pinpointing mildly hot things and exaggerating them with words to make them sound like the sexiest thing ever created. I think about nicknames, and words that simply sound hot. I think about what I'd want to read if I were trying to get off to my own work. However, even when a products finished, I can never actually masturbate to it, considering the fact I'm too busy criticizing myself. I still love writing erotica. I find it fun and a way to make creative descriptions. I love describing, but in regular stories, it takes up too much of the plot to focus on small details.
Also, I do understand the whole "Not using a character's name" thing. When I write for human, it's far more awkward to do things like that. I just feel weird when I repeat the character's name to a point it sounds tedious. I will probably try to stray away from that in future chapters, but I can't see it permanently going away for a while.
I really appreciate your compliments. Thank you very much! I know I really need to get at this again, and I'm very grateful the person I'm doing this for hasn't been rushing me or anything. Now that I'm finally away from school, I can focus on this story. I really can't wait to get back at it, and your support is very appreciated.
"The alicorn, of course, went with her own advice and put on a grin. She took in a deep breath and tried to look as presentable as she could. She puffed out her chest, stood as tall as she could, and put a smile on her face that screamed confidence. She looked out onto the streets. There was noting but a few ponies walking about. Most of them she recognized, but none she knew too well. A few of them were familiar mares Twilight knew to work at a flower shop, a few were stallions she'd simple seen around, and the only other two ponies out aside from the businesses were a couple of foals with no parental guidance. It wasn't a particularly busy time, and the princess debated on whether or not she should simply go home and try again later. "
I dont think that word should even be in here
"Twilight had to force herself from frowning at the questioning tone the pony spoke in. She hardly knew what it was like to struggle with a job. Her entire life, she'd been provided with a roof over her head and was given what money she needed by Celestia. She never actually considered how hard it must of bean to not be so fortunate."
incorrect spelling of been
This was actually a very good fanfiction! Realistic story that blended well into very kinky clop, and the scat scenes were written rather nicely! Good job.
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