• Member Since 28th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

shortskirtsandexplosions


space is a waste

T

An angry old stallion frustrates the citizens of Ponyville with his insulting, cantankerous ways. Nopony can stand him, including Princess Twilight and her circle of friends. All the while, Fluttershy quietly looks on.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 253 )

Hmm, interesting. The description is rather vague, and that's the way I like it. Let's see what this is all about.

Hah!

Way to go Fluttershy!

Nice work on this one, man. VERY nice.

~Skeeter The Lurker

...On a side note...

I kept associating this with, ah, recent events about the site.

...Not sure why...

Eh, whatever. Still damn good.

~Skeeter The Lurker

From the sound of things, he lives well away from others, out of choice.

Just about every issue here could've been resolved by not going out of their way to piss him off and pick a fight.

And let's face it, he's pretty much right. You can't possibly tell me earth ponies don't get the shittest end of the stick that has ever been offered to anyone ever.

4685216
Likewise.:ajsleepy:

I see what was done here. Heavy on the dialogue, though, and sort of rushes by everything to get to a point that it was always going to get to. Would have been nice to have more than one character touched upon and fleshed out. At least a few more hints, nuances, emotions, and symbolism to balance out all the talking. There's no real sense, rhyme or reason, and not enough otherwise to convincingly say that being arbitrary was a choice.

Moral delivered, though, I guess. Maybe? Seemed heavy handed, and all too convenient. Would have worked better abstracted a bit more, paced a little slower, to allow the commentary to apply more broadly than any immediate context. The story speaks to certain universal truths of social interaction, but going so extreme and one dimensional hurts the longevity of the story, and hurts its ability to actually be an engaging story at all.

I dunno, I could go on and on about the structure and meaning and writing for core values over immediate situation, but it would be rather pointless. "A" for effort, but a solid "pfft" outta me.
4685220

Just about every issue here could've been resolved by not going out of their way to piss him off and pick a fight.

Not his issue, not Fluttershy's, either, apparently (or something).

4685323 If they'd just stayed off his fucking lawn... :rainbowlaugh:

4685371
They'd all have been worse off.

Telaros #9 · Jul 13th, 2014 · · 1 ·

When SS&E has to put out a fic to remind people how toxic they've become, you know things are bad.

Make ponies,
Not rage blogs! :yay:

"This land is peaceful, its inhabitants kind, but thou dost not belong."

img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130102193715/darksouls/images/b/b6/Priscilla.png

Lars #13 · Jul 13th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4685638
You forgot the response of every player to hear that line:
"BULLSHIT! EVERYONE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! THAT'S NOT KIND BY ANY DEFINITION!"

...I'll just... slink away now.
But Priscilla's still a liar.

I don't get it.

Was there supposed to be a moral or something?

All I remember was Red Oats almost killing Fluttershy with a shovel, which seems to be the exact opposite of whatever moral you wanted to imply. And then there was Fluttershy's last remark, which seems like a bad attempt at something poetic.

It just feels like you're trying to preach your worldview, with ponies as your tools.



Feel free to tell me if I've misinterpreted things though.

What exactly are you trying to say with this? What's the point you're trying to get across here? Because I don't see it.

We have this pony who is somehow able to attack anypony he sees with the darkest and most despicable statements that can only come from the sixth level of Hell. It seems to be his Special Talent the way he's able to do it so quickly without even thinking. And yet, he doesn't seem to actively seek ponies out. Sure, his words are despicable and have the echoes of the KKK and Nazis, but you make it quite clear that he only does it when ponies go near him. So, he basically the universe's greatest "GO AWAY" sign. If you avoid him, he leaves you alone.

But nopony in this story leaves him alone. Rainbow Dash even pretty much says "I'll fly wherever I want, deal with it old man!" So I'd say Rainbow Dash deserved the verbal abuse. And you made an even bigger mistake by having Twilight go to him, because it was Twilight who had told Pinkie Pie to leave Cranky Doodle Donkey alone. So now, Twilight's a big hypocrite! Great job. (Portal 2 Announcer: "Sarcasm Sphere Self Test Complete")

Then you make it even worse by having the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Rarity bring attention to the guy, just so everypony else in town can go to him, just so he can attack them, just to give us a reason to dislike him more. Even though HE DIDN'T START ANYTHING! The villains of this story are the CMC, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity! Leaving the Pinkie Pie, Mayor Mare, and the Bigot as the only two likeable characters thus far. Mayor Mare is right. Bigot doesn't matter. Just ignore him and stay away and everything would be just fine.

But then you ruin the Bigot's character by having him attack a child, and then anger a super strong applebucker. What would've saved this story is if you had written it so it's revealed that Bigot has a death wish and has been trying to goad somepony to kill him. Didn't he goad Rarity on? Didn't he goad everypony on? Listen to me. If Bigot was in our world and spoke like this, I'd bet you all the money I have that someone would have either assaulted or murdered him. I personally confess in front of all the internet that if I ran into Bigot, and he spoke to me like that, I would've grabbed the nearest blunt object, hit him a few times, and then ran away and never came back. That's my confession. God forbid if I had a gun or a knife on me when I ran into him. But since Bigot doesn't have a death wish, you just ruined his character even more.

And let's talk about Fluttershy. She's not a character her. She's even less of a character than Bigot. This story just says she's the Element of Kindness, neither Discord nor Bigot can resist her. What was so special about their scene together? Was it that he didn't hit her with the shovel? We already know that he's all talk and is just trying to make everypony go away, so of course he wouldn't kill her.

But the sad part is that ending the story with Bigot killing Fluttershy would have been good! It would have taught the very valuable lesson that some people are just evil and will never change: like the Nazis, KKK, slave owners, Terrorists, Haman from the Bible, etc.

And then you give Bigot that stupid, retarded, someone please shoot him in the face, Freudian Excuse of "my wife died because no one helped her". Freudian Excuses are bullshit and bad writing. His wife dying does not excuse his Bigotry. It would excuse Crank Doodle Donkey's behavior, but not the Klansman-like behavior of this monster.

There were so many better ways to end this story. You could've had Fluttershy that Bigot's Cutie Mark was for using such language, but then they figure out a way to reinterpret it and repurpose it for the better so he can rejoin society again. You could've just gone full on fantasy and have it be a Windigo that's possessing him or some other creature. Or you could've done the Bigot kills Fluttershy ending.

Speaking of Fluttershy, he ending line doesn't make any sense. Was it the old cliche of "forgiveness helps you more than the other person"? Was Fluttershy upset at all of her friends for getting mad at somepony was cruel to them? which is a natural reaction by the way. Or does Fluttershy know something about Bigot that we don't?

Well you know what? I don't care. This story fails completely due to horrendously bad writing. I think you just wrote this story as an excuse to write as many hurtful thing about Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack as you could think off. This is very immature, and you should be ashamed of yourself for writing it. I have better things to do than to read a story where the "protagonists" instigate the problem, everypony is a moron, and the two focus characters are nothing more than caricatures.

Farewell, shortskirtsandexplosions. I certainly hope that everypony lives happily ever after.

4685216 What recent events would these be? I'm curious.

4685928 Oh don't worry, you're correct. This story is pointless.

4685928
Same here, I'm not getting the moral, just that Fluttershy basically said at the end that she needed the hug more than he did.
That said, if anyone said what he did about my sister, there wouldn't have been enough left of him to find.

Wow, how cynical we could become just from one person's death.

4686044

He expects people to interpret his work as meaningful so that he doesn't have to work hard and make it so himself. At least, that's the vibe I get from it. There's no point to this story. It's just a bunch of shit that happens and it looks like a story on the outside, but when you look deeper, there's no actual story happening. It really is just a bunch of shit happening. Maybe that's an ultra-hip nihilist statement, but it seems more like the result of the author either not caring or thinking way too far outside the box for the story to actually work. If you want to add a moral to your story, Skirts, make it a story with a moral added, not a moral attached to a bunch of random events that don't add up to anything engaging.

4686274 Hey, it could've just been an excuse to swear at worst pony.

I'm fine with that.

Red Oats reminds me of Mrs. Dubose from To Kill a Mockingbird.

Aku

Eh, six out of eight.
Go you.

~Aku.

4686274
4686044
It's reflecting on recent events on fimfiction. Skirts is saying that it's a bunch of pointless bullshit and nonsensical drama that has no merit and is only toxic to everybody around. The story is full of pointless bullshit and nonsensical drama and is only toxic to everybody around. Allegory is a useful tool, and it can act as a literary device. Everything that happens has a parallel with current events on the site.

Is this story, in and of itself, good? No, not really. But, when taken in context with recent events, it paints a clear picture: this whole situation is shitty and bad for everybody involved, and the best thing everybody could do is ignore certain people and leave them alone with their horribleness as their own, lonely, company. It achieves that intended objective, and therefore is effective as a story. Outside of the context of recent events, though, it's exactly as you say: pointless.

You're looking at this as a story, when it's really more akin to a political cartoon in story form. Without a knowledge of current events and political climate at the time of the cartoon, the joke falls flat and appears pointless, but in the context of the time it paints a clear picture with an intended message. Skirts is saying we're giving attention to a huge asshole who would be better off left alone, with nobody drawing attention and giving him an audience in order to spout more of his hatred.

4686455

...So basically he wrote a story that was a waste of time to show us that we're wasting time by reading a story that's a waste of time as an allegory about replying to people who are a waste of time in order to jerk off to the praise he'd get for both wasting our time and having people understand that he's wasting our time and praise him anyway?

dude that's fucking deep

4686472
Sometimes I forget that you're The Parasprite. Why am I arguing with you? :twilightblush:

3deep5me

I'm sorry, but I just can't read through this. I didn't even manage to get halfway through before Red Oats sent my blood pressure dangerously high. Good story, but for my own health I can't continue.

That bored me.

Comment posted by Zeyon The Green deleted Jul 13th, 2014

"A menace of that sort cannot be allowed to dwell in Ponyville?"

Is she saying or asking.

"I just wish it didn't have to take such a toil on all the other ponies who live around here."

Remember that episode, "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils"? It's a pun.

And speaking of puns, I think you should've named this cantankerous jerk Stink Maner. "What's good, pegasistah? Wha's really good?"

The twist end is a little vague, but I'm guessing Flutters was upset because she was sacrificing more of her soul than she let on, but her dedication to her Element wouldn't allow her to just walk away. That's my interpretation.

4686274 He has openly admitted to being a lousy writer. At second glance, I believe Pilate's post is 100% sarcasm.

... I could use a hug. :fluttershysad:

This reminds me of "People ain't no good."

Well everyone needs love even the most jaded toxic creatures, and just cause he is doesn't mean he should be treated as such. Fluttershy needed to validate that belief, I guess. She's a good pony.

devas #36 · Jul 13th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4686507
4686053
4685216

I think the association is entirely intentional; especially since the inner working of his initial insults is exactly the same as what has happened: that is "stop flaunting this thing I don't like!""but I didn't choose to have it""well, you came out in front of me, didn't you?

Anyway, I'm going to call out the elephant in the room; in my interpretation, this is an allegory over the fact that RealityCheck recently (11 days ago) wrote a blog post in which he was angry at Ashleigh Ball for having shared a picture on facebook in which Applejack and Rainbow Dash were getting married.
He interpreted such a thing as being a sort of "selling out" to whatever it is that's slowly giving more rights to homosexual, that gave birth to the SJW movement, more power to political correctness, etc (the Illuminati? Cthulhu? :-P).
Which could be a legitimate complaint, if it weren't that whatever is slowly happening to society doesn't have an actual mind or motive behind it.
Anyway, he then proceeded to rail against homosexuals in the comments, called sin an objective thing, and said that atheist can only be good when they're surrounded by good, religious people, and they're going to hell anyway.
That last part offended Rainbowbob a lot, and yesterday or the day before he made a post in which at the end he asked people to spam RealityCheck with pictures of the AJ/Dash marriage; this was while a lot of other users (theParasprite, Fimfiction Drama, Babs_Seed_72) had made other, similar posts, decrying RealityCheck's behaviour.
A mod then deleted RainbowBob's post (which is paralled by Mayor Mare pulling down the flyers-another reason I'm convinced this is an allegory) given that it was breaking site rules (thou shalt not suffer a post that "explicitly asks others to attack someone" to live).
And then we have this story.

For the record, my two cents are that what happens in this story is unrealistic and kind of escapist; aside from the logistical impossibilities of giving RealityCheck a hug, there's also the fact that I don't think he'd react well to others trying to befriend him; even before all this, he was quite taciturn and curt to everyone, and he'd probably react to something like this as if it were a hypocritical attack, a way to show to ourselves how more moral we are than he is.
Also...it's kind of fucked up to try and reward someone because they were horrible.

4686472

I dunno, I think the story is actually about Skirts being sad about everything and going "stop fighting you guys!" at us.
Which, of course, is actually prolonging this discussion, but whatevs.
Also yeah, I think he wants to hug RC for his own, devious purposes :trollestia:

4686646 Holy shit, that Reality Check? I've read some of his stories, I never thought he'd be such a spiteful person.

4686507 Pfeh. Red reminds me of my Ma, my Grandpa, and most of my kin on that side of the family. Brought back warm memories of family fights, it did.

And frankly, Ponyville and the inhabitants thereof could use the wakeup call. Remember, they're supposed to be about Harmony, caring and the virtues of friendship. So what, no love for people who NEED friction, irritation and anger in their lives to be happy? Not evil, mind you. Some folks merely need conflict to thrive, and taking it away from them kills them. Would you sacrifice Red Oats' life on the holy altar of friendship? Or put up with his ire, if that ire is what's keeping him going? Pick one, ONLY one. And remember, if you pick option 2, you demonstrate that the 'friendship' of the ponies is hypocrisy..

Everyone needs a little Red Oats in their lives, to keep them honest and to remind them of Deteriorata.

Remember...
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.

4686662

Yup.
I've lost count of the times I've said it, but: -very good writer, horrible person-
I think two thirds of his posts are him railing against something...sometimes it's legitimate (Scootacripple is bad and you should feel bad) other times...not so much.

4686674 A little might be putting it mildly. If I never met someone like that, it'd be too soon.

4686674

To be honest, the part of "Harmony, caring and the virtues of friendship." was immensely creepy to me.
To be fair, it's an explicit parallel of the fact that as a fandom, we trot out "Love and Tolerate" at every opportunity, like it's a friggin gospel, but...you know what, it creeps me out in the fandom too.

4686674

Everyone needs a little Red Oats in their lives, to keep them honest

Yeah, that's something I don't actually believe.
Imagine if, in a counterfactual universe, RealityCheck was railing against black people, or global warming, or whatever.
Presenting himself as "I'm the one who actually has common sense, dagnabbit!" is intellectually dishonest in a huge way.
Nobody can ever know if they are ever, 100 %, truly in the right, and acting that way (more specifically, saying "you can't convince me of that thing, ever, 'cuz I'm right) is...beyond bad.
Even at my most arrogant, the most I can ever call myself is aspiring rationalist
/humblebrag

Okay, I am getting that this story is based on something that has been happening on the site, but my question is, what has been happening on the site?

4686274 sai th4t t0 mai faice m8

4686698 Dev, it's not what you rail at that matters, it's that you need to rail. At anything. Doesn't really matter what in particular. Even random choice will do.

As a certain famous bit of movie dialog put it:

"What are you rebelling against?"
"What have you got?"

That gives the world some balance. For every good, some bad to balance it out, and vice versa. If the world were all Fluttershys, the world would self-destruct. If the world were all grumpy bastards, it would blow up. But an equal and opposite number of each? Just right.

4686687 Too late, you've met me already. *snerk*

4686646
4686724

I explain it in the comment this comment is replying to

devas #49 · Jul 13th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4686740

That gives the world some balance. For every good, some bad to balance it out, and vice versa. If the world were all Fluttershys, the world would self-destruct. If the world were all grumpy bastards, it would blow up. But an equal and opposite number of each? Just right.

That doesn't follow from the premises, and actually makes no sense.
When slavery was made illegal, we didn't hire people to lash random passerbys in the street.
When polio and other sicknesses were eradicated with vaccines, we didn't say to patients: well, your dose of pain and suffering now has to go to someone else, do you have any idea what to do?

What in the world says that the proportion of bad things to good things has to stay the same? This is not a rhetorical question, I actually want to understand your logic

4686767 Just think of it as the emotional/social version of Newton's Third Law. There will be an "equal and opposite reaction" somewhere along the line. I honestly believe that can't be prevented. But I also believe it can be "aimed", for lack of a better term. Every improvement we've made somewhere simply shifted things elsewhere - vaccines resulted in more people living - and more opportunities for people to die of cancer, heart disease, and other fun things.

That's how I see things. "A good deed never goes unpunished." It doesn't mean you shouldn't do good deeds, just that you should expect, and even embrace, the backlash from it. Real life example? Have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner - and then get a carving fork accidentally driven through your arm by the person carving the turkey. (Yes, that's exactly what happened, and I enjoy showing off the scar. Additional act of balance? I walked to the emergency room, fork still through my arm, refusing an ambulance and believe that my doing so helped insure that the dinner remained slightly happier for the rest of the attendees. I sincerely believe that if I had taken an ambulance, Fate would have balanced things out on their heads instead of mine.)

A tad too much Final Destination for some, I know. Your mileage may vary.

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