• Member Since 14th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 26th, 2023

Twifan


Enjoy-er of comedy, liker of Human X Pony (and Human X Anthro), and lover of the most heinous of all fetishes: mutual enjoyment of consent sex!

Comments ( 58 )

This looks hot. will have to read later. Hope it doesnt disappoint:raritystarry:

Fun story, well done. :twilightsmile:

A very hot story, but that last line cracked me up. "You" better hope she says yes.

Also, any chance of a second chapter where the romantic sex starts with Coco in her usual outfit and both are more ready and expecting it? (Although I could easily see that leading into awkwardness as they stumble over each other.)

4608667
I plan to make this story just stay as a one-shot. If it's popular enough (and I get an idea I'm happy with) then I may do a sequel story for it. I felt I ended it at a spot which was easier to continue with a new story than with Harsh Lift.

4608766
Coco's just too cute to leave it at a one shot. But whatever you want to write.

4608890 Agreed.

It's okay though, my friend. We REALLY needed another clop fic.

4609009 My friend, you do not understand. We NEEDED another clopfic.

Absolutely needed it. Forget grand adventures or a saucy, well developed romance! No THIS is exactly what we needed.

Hell's bells... This is a really well done fic. I hope you follow it up.

This reminds me of a the cliche delivery man porn but with a very good twist to it.

Or is that exactly what this is but for a cloppers point of interest?

Either way is a win on my side though.

Your cock on the other hand, felt like it was going to explore at any moment.

I...I can't fucking breathe from that part! XD

The fuck was his meat-and-two-veg going to explore? Her mouth?

I don't really like reading clopfics, but some of my followers insist on sending me certain stories my way, and I have to say that this particular part of your story had me rolling.

I will give you a Like just for the good laugh, friend! Congrats to you!

“It’s just that, I heard a m-m-message could help with cramps like this-but-you-don’t-need-to-do-anything-I’m-sure-I’m-fine!”
A leg message? You could feel the blood rush

I believe you mean "massage"

"You’ve been trapped her in Equestria" - "here".
"came across two wondering ponies" - I'm guessing you mean "wandering".
"Coco then began to franticly apologies" - "apologize" if you're American, "apologise" for the Brit spelling.
"Your thoughts of the pasts" - just "past".
"Your friends order" - "friend's".
"The stallion panicked... and choose to toss" - "chose".
"The cities public carriage" - "city's".

It's difficult for me to enjoy perverted fun when the need for editing keeps pulling me out of the story.

i gusto'd. twice.

Second person? I have a question, OP.

Are you retarded?

It's hot, but the sex talk seems off.

Meh. Could've been a lot better. The clop scene was rushed more than Ender's Game (the movie). Usual HiE setting (trapped in Equestria, 'nuff said), usual romance...

But the last line. THAT LAST F*CKING LINE.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F*CKING MIND????

"Dinner and sex tommorow?"
You never, EVER just ask for sex like that. At least not if you have any desire to get into a serious relationship...

You know what? I'm not even going to finish that analysis. If you can't figure out the rest yourself, well...See a doctor. Immediately.


(Still giving it a like. I only harshly criticize the fics I think have potential.)

Edit: Oh wait...*reads complete*

*ragequit*

spelling problems and weird dialogue are a bit distracting

Picture link?:trixieshiftright:

4611312

Please. tell me more of how all sexual relationships lead to serious emotional commitment.

Friends with benefits are a thing, you know.

Now I'd suggest getting down off your high-horse of ego before you fall off and break something.

This was AWESOME!!!

Not enough Coco clop. There should be a group for characters and pairings who need more clop. I might make it.

4611889 I can see why you have taco "belle" as your avatar.

All of your comments are shit, which fits well with avatar.

Hmm, the hoof/tickle stuff was pretty good. Not a bad fic. I don't read much clop honestly but this was all right for what it was. Wasn't into some of the more raunchy stuff but I enjoyed it for the most part.

4611584
Are you asking for the link to the picture of the cover? There is a button that appears if you hover the mouse over the image that leads to the source. Not sure if it works for phones.

I'm a bit disappointed this wasn't more popular. I think your depiction of Cocao was fantastic. Even though they never did get into full on role-play, that would have been cool. :unsuresweetie:

cool drawing where'd you get the pic?

This isn't quite atrocious, but it's definitely plowing through the Constricting Tunnel of Awfulness on its way to 'Maybe This Should Be Edited BEFORE I Hit Publish' Station.

Coco has her head hanging (hugging, apparently) off the bed. Unless there's a complex arrangement of mirrors designed to bounce sunlight around the room in order to open a solar-activated safe, she CANNOT watch herself being penetrated.

I see other mistakes have been caught, but one's pants cannot be confiding, nor are there such things as crotch pants. If your member has been erected, I certainly hope you remembered to remove the scaffolding afterwards. And your tense switch from 2nd person present to 2nd person past is completely without cause or necessity. Or apparently awareness or irony.

*stares in disbelief at the stats* Then again, apparently none of that matters to nearly anyone who's approved of this thus far.

Need an editor?

4611889


Yeah, it's just that this thing had a bit of a build up that gives the reader the idea of some kind of romantic relationship evolving. Both the character's behavior indicates that they like each other. So that last question felt...Completely out of place after the buildup.

4615035
A rule you should know about clop: Quality ain't shit.

4615035
Well, I found it was a charming story, and while I was confused because of the positioning of the characters, I didn't pay too much attention to it.
That's not to say your critique isn't valid, I just wanted to say why for me these stats aren't too surprising.

4615982

Luminous: Honestly? I read his last fic, which featured anthro-Miss-Harshwhinny having very *angry* elevator sex with 2nd person character. So very little here surprises me.

It's also insanely difficult for a lot of people to find someone to edit their 'human sexing up an anthro pony' fanfic. Much more difficult than it would be to find someone to read their Apocalyptothon 'House' or "CSI' fanfic. I understand this. Quality control *is* an issue.

I write clop as well. But I do it very snobbishly and insist my process is art and erotica, darling! And I make sure my horsecock is wearing a top hat, a monocle, a little bow tie, and is smoking from a cigarette in a long holder.

(Someone did suggest to me afterwards that Coco was wearing Google Glass while hanging upside-down off the edge of the bed, which was how she could see herself getting fucked. Best suggestion I've heard so far.)

4615808

Well I did read it, in ways, similar to that at times. But (and I suppose this likely says a lot about how the both of us view things) it also struck me nearing the end as less a Hollywood romance and more - two good friends hooking up. Rarely does a relationship play out the same as any other. Its not usually filled with the kind of romance novel-style relations, at least in my experience. And I'd also say that in my honest opinion, one of the healthiest things for a relation ship is having fun - so you could look at it like that if you wanted to. Less a casual hook-up and more two good friends in a relationship not bothering to put to words what they already know, and instead joking with one another.

4609014 You are soo crazy, my fellows, but also sooo right....

Kind of a shame this is only a one-parter. Great story!

for odd reason this fic made me think of this song.:rainbowhuh:

I would love another chapter

Nice idea. Well written. Short but detailed as any good one-shot is. Basic protagonist background and a little bit of conflict. Well done

-So Declares Fashionist Sparrow

4616525
Horsecock with a tophat!?

I'm here...what do you need?

Your own lions continue to heat up and cause you discomfort, but you dare not stop to release them.

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a1/Lions_Family_Portrait_Masai_Mara.jpg
They judge your spelling.

4650372 nay, it is hilarity...that sounded better in my head -,-

That was a very great human and anthro coco love story. I like it. It was very nice about how respectable both the characters are in this fic and how they warmed up to each other. Great job.

feels like its missing something but i liked it

80% bishop approved

stay classy :moustache:

I always think we could use more hoof fetish stuff :D great fic

so...any chance of a sequel?

5368881
At this current moment, there are no plans for a sequel to this story.

Well done indeed, good sir writer.

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