- Member Since 14th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen Sep 26th, 2023
Twifan
Enjoy-er of comedy, liker of Human X Pony (and Human X Anthro), and lover of the most heinous of all fetishes: mutual enjoyment of consent sex!
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Gallus Matragos · 2.7k words · 76 31 · 6.1k views
- segaface · 7.8k words · 79 30 · 4.7k views
- TimeBomb0 · 2.1k words · 55 20 · 2.7k views
- LightningStrike_1 · 1k words · 70 7 · 2.4k views
- Captain L · 21k words · 72 22 · 3k views
- hahatimeforponies · 1.1k words · 49 6 · 1.6k views
- BeatnikPonies · 1.9k words · 29 21 · 1.2k views
- Stunt Monkey · 1.3k words · 94 28 · 4.5k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.125 seconds
Total duration
996 users online
3,483 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You need some proof reading, but aside from that this fic is good.
I don't know why I enjoyed this. . .
This is halaryis
For such a niche fetish, this was executed well. Nicely done.
Goddamn but that was brutal. Well done.
Diamaon trial and CMC version please
Brother posted earlier sry
But this was a vary well executed and well pland out story. Vary good job
Revenge is sweet like apple cider. Muahahahaha
4420376
I take it that I've succeeded in making a story that stands out from all the other pony watersports stories.
4425389
Well, considering I've read every good watersports on the site that didn't involve diapers, I can safely say this...hasn't come up before. Maybe I'm forgetting a story, it's entirely possible I would have passed over any story crazy enough to do this.
And looking over the part I quoted, I realized an error. That line used Lightning Strike instead of Streak.
That is the most evil thing I have ever read. I love it.
CMC version please
That was unexpected.
Wow.
That was pure D evil.
... uh... ha ha? I think? Is this supposed to be a joke?
I would say that's a horrible way to spend the night, but he kind of deserved (totally deserved) that punishment. She's not gonna let him live it down either.
4613366 I would tend to agree. I don't normally read this kind of thing, but it was like a train wreck once I got started, and while I don't normally go in for torture, he deserved it in this case.
What are these words you speak, gypsy?
4834450 in order
Stomach control
Bring It to gates
Flow like a dog
Fill up the bottle
I read backwards as a hobby. Rood part
4878695 I now need to go scrape bits and pieces of my skull and brain matter off of the floor...
So, Spitfire risks losing the competition by taking the better-looking(According to her) Soarin' instead of the record-breaking protagonist, risking both their chances of victory, and the jobs of all the Wonderbolts, their reputation an chances of getting funding/sponsors, and pretty much the Wonderbolts as a whole. She then laughs about it to her friends so loudly that the protagonist overhears him.
He uses a magic urination drug on her to make her go to the shower and pee herself a few times, lightly taunting her as he does so.
After wetting herself a few times with nopony around to see her except him, she sprays him with a powerful blast of urine, then punches him out, then forces him to give her all of his magic urination drug.
She forces him to choose between getting kicked out of the wonderbolts, which is all he has, or submitting to her punishment. He is forced to 'choose' punishment.
Then at first, it seems like she'll make him wet himself in front of everyone, which is far worse than what he did to her. Then, she makes him spend the night(And possibly longer) with a painfully full bladder, which is even worse than that.
I really, really feel sorry for this guy.
I never usually ask things like this, but... Could there be a sequel, or a second chapter, where either the protagonist or somepony else gets revenge on Spitfire for this?
4961819
Not quite. She got drunk along with all her friends and made a particularly poor joke about how Soarin had to go because it was for her's and Fleetfoots 'moral' due to watching him fly. Lightning Streak took her drunk talk as proof that he had been wrong and would seek to right his wrong. Spitfire couldn't even remember the joke she told when Lightning Streak started using the drug openly on her.
The urine was his own fault. Lightning Streak forced Spitfire to drink till her stomach expanded to the point she couldn't even move. Spitfire had no control over the urine at all.
She did have control over punching him, but if she didn't then Lightning Streak would not have spot. In fact, he'd most likely make things worst.
4962633
So, Spitfire risks losing the competition by taking the better-looking(According to her) Soarin' instead of the record-breaking protagonist, risking both their chances of victory, and the jobs of all the Wonderbolts, their reputation an chances of getting funding/sponsors, and pretty much the Wonderbolts as a whole.
Not quite. She got drunk along with all her friends and made a particularly poor joke about how Soarin had to go because it was for her's and Fleetfoots 'moral' due to watching him fly. Lightning Streak took her drunk talk as proof that he had been wrong and would seek to right his wrong. Spitfire couldn't even remember the joke she told when Lightning Streak started using the drug openly on her.
Alright. Well, if it was just a joke, could something be put in to clarify?
After wetting herself a few times with nopony around to see her except him, she sprays him with a powerful blast of urine, then punches him out,
The urine was his own fault. Lightning Streak forced Spitfire to drink till her stomach expanded to the point she couldn't even move. Spitfire had no control over the urine at all.
She did have control over punching him, but if she didn't then Lightning Streak would not have spot. In fact, he'd most likely make things worst.
I understand the urine spray thing, and that was his own fault for pushing it. Still, she didn't just get revenge, she escalated it.
I'm all for stories where the protagonist does evil things with some variety of magical item, but the comeuppance usually comes long after the protagonist has crossed the moral event horizon over the course of the story. Lightly taunting and embarassing his boss while alone in revenge for thinking he'd been screwed over just because Soarin' was better-looking to her is an alright Start Of Darkness, maybe it could have lead to some kind of forced-urination spree, but it hardly crosses the Moral Event Horizon. Remember Death Note? Imagine how boring it would be if Kira/Light was caught in episode one, and L himself showed up on his front door to take the Death Note, offer him a false choice, then use the Death Note on Light to kill him in a way far worse than the people he'd killed so far. And since it would only be episode one, that wouldn't be much.
>> Twifan
So, Spitfire risks losing the competition by taking the better-looking(According to her) Soarin' instead of the record-breaking protagonist, risking both their chances of victory, and the jobs of all the Wonderbolts, their reputation an chances of getting funding/sponsors, and pretty much the Wonderbolts as a whole.
Not quite. She got drunk along with all her friends and made a particularly poor joke about how Soarin had to go because it was for her's and Fleetfoots 'moral' due to watching him fly. Lightning Streak took her drunk talk as proof that he had been wrong and would seek to right his wrong. Spitfire couldn't even remember the joke she told when Lightning Streak started using the drug openly on her.
Alright. Well, if it was just a joke, could something be put in to clarify?
After wetting herself a few times with nopony around to see her except him, she sprays him with a powerful blast of urine, then punches him out,
The urine was his own fault. Lightning Streak forced Spitfire to drink till her stomach expanded to the point she couldn't even move. Spitfire had no control over the urine at all.
She did have control over punching him, but if she didn't then Lightning Streak would not have spot. In fact, he'd most likely make things worst.
I understand the urine spray thing, and that was his own fault for pushing it. Still, she didn't just get revenge, she escalated it.
I'm all for stories where the protagonist does evil things with some variety of magical item, but the comeuppance usually comes long after the protagonist has crossed the moral event horizon over the course of the story. Lightly taunting and embarassing his boss while alone in revenge for thinking he'd been screwed over just because Soarin' was better-looking to her is an alright Start Of Darkness, maybe it could have lead to some kind of forced-urination spree, but it hardly crosses the Moral Event Horizon. Remember Death Note? Imagine how boring it would be if Kira/Light was caught in episode one, and L himself showed up on his front door to take the Death Note, offer him a false choice, then use the Death Note on Light to kill him in a way far worse than the people he'd killed so far. And since it would only be episode one, that wouldn't be much.
Still, you are a great writer. The fic is well-written, and Watersports is my favourite fetish.
4968289
Could there be a Sequel or Next Chapter? Maybe one where Spitfire returns and bladder-tortures him, but he gets revenge on her, possibly bucking her with his painfully-sensitive rod and orgasm-denying her while he cums time and time again? Or a higher-up finds out about their actions, and both the OC and Spitfire get into trouble for it?
5040957
The last one is far more possible to happen than the rest.
Also, Lighting Streak isn't an OC.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111213200450/mlp/images/7/7f/Lightning_Streak.png
He's a background Wonderbolt character.
5041277
Cool.
So, uh... when will this part happen?
5051307
Not for a while. I have a few other stories I wanted to complete first, and I promised people I would finish "Harsh Lift" before I do any other sequel story.
Which gives me time to smooth out the idea for the sequel to a point that I am happy with.
5051471
Okay. By the way, Harsh Lift is awesome.
I'm not entirely sure either one of them deserved this punishment.
can i write a sequal to this
5419830
What kind of sequel?
5420571
to show what happened during his one month ban