- Member Since 27th Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Feb 21st, 2019
Is a Spy
Just an ex-Brony who is still intrigued in the pursuits of the fanbase. Don't mind me.
Is a Spy
Joined 27th Jul, 2014 ·
Offline
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this requires a SEQUEL
that was hot
Ok minus the rape I think it could had be potential, I just had wish he just had decided to enjoy the ride and take charge or something not be against his will during ALL of it, release or not at the end that was still rape, he never say that he enjoy it, he just wanted to end.
with that say I think it has good potential, and because is your first I imagine you were just trying something I just say dude, I only had 2 more things to say
1) if he accept, I hope he gets Celestia back by gagging her and putting a magic ring on her horn so she doesn't use her magic. and they NOW talk like they should and explain HOW all this came to happen. (in case of sequel) maybe while he pay her with the same coin
2) this is suppose to had a romance tag right? well I'm sad to tell you but…where is the romance? no really where was it left? yeah Celestia I suppose has, but that is more like Molestia and not Celestia, so I would like to know where it go.
Again I deeply apologise, for that and some what I like the begging of the chapter and the shy and how Celestia wanted to 'try' to help him enjoy…key word TRY, and he trying to talk, you can do much better dude, its really good if it wasn't the mild rape and yeah IT was RAPE, because he never enjoy it, by all his comments
For a first time fic, you did quite incredibly well! Hope you write more kinky anthro fics just like this one in the future.
NIce chapter.
YES
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131017211838/halo/es/images/archive/3/3e/20140823221242!Yaranaika_Face_Plantilla.png
For your first story ever, this is very well written. The story-telling is good and captivating and you also know how to write an acceptable clop. I will follow you in the hopes to see you only get better from here
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/img-3167219-2-img-1538827-1-gQbSk-1.gif
stay classy
5546154 dear god pinky is a creepy pony
5577310 i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/tumblr_m2gfw2gtbw1r6i662o1_r1_500_by_scarlett_novel-d7b3svf.png
stay classy
5577310 Ahh Miraak, fancy seeing you here. How are things good chap?
I hope you're not mad over our brief encounter in Solstheim
5578715 eh been better haveing a tentacle shoved trough your chest is not so healthy....any way last dragonborn how you been?
5577763 Noooooooooooo!! She booped me.
5578829 I had a jolly good time friend. Writing and reading fanfics in much more relaxing than getting arrows in your knees. Why you must read my latest novel 'The lusty argonian maid'. It's a must in every home
5578835 it still exist? Well i suppose i should get some paper and go to my private quarters... Dont judge me!
5578830 ya she dose that....and this
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/SrnvaBd.gif
stay classy
5580784 mother of god......yeah. P.s have you seen smile HD And cupcakes.. *shudders* this is the reason why i find pinky scary and creepy.
5580878
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/pink%20raspberries.gif
stay classy
5580927 dawww
5581055 see shes not so bad
stay classy
5583790 see this guy gets it
stay classy
5534870 You defiantly have a good point there, my friend.
5604201 Thanks, I didn't want to trash the story I just wanted to help him or her, with it, like I say it has potential, but unfortunately somethings just don't add up
i feel disgusted for having read this.
i hate rapefic's. permanently.
Well, she's right about one thing, it's a once-in-a-lifetime choice.
5707944 It's an offer you can't refuse
cool story man
5655829
I will have to agree.