• Member Since 5th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen January 22nd

Aleksandr Sherbet


Mediocre FanFic writer and Pro shoutcaster! "You wouldn't shoot a guy with glasses!

Comments ( 96 )

I like this version of the story. Celestia seems more motherly and has a better interaction. With Dante. Furthermore, Dante is more responsible than in any if the other version. I hope to see more of this story.

I will wait for a another chapter before I give my opinion but I like so far

Third rewrite of the same story, each time it gets better

This is the first time I'm seeing this so I never saw the other versions and I was wondering is this a remake of the series in anyway? If it is or not could someone please explain this to me so I fully understand this fanfiction more.

5225281 explain it is kinda difficult just expect spiritual stuff to happen around the main character I.E. You

Its okay I suppose. You writing seems to be lacking enthusiasm. Then again that could just be because you said you were losing inspiration for teenagers or it could just be because this is a new story and it hasn't gotten rolling yet. Either way I will favorite this story because I immensely enjoyed teenagers, though im still waiting for the Dante on Fluttershy clop scene. Will Fluttershy be a main love interest in this story as well?

Okay so i obviously missed the recent blog post about teenagers in my feed. so i didn't know teenagers was scrapped. that last comment was written thinking teenagers was still going. Sorry. Question still stands about Fluttershy. Also, will Derpy be another marefriend again? Just wondering because she truly is adorable.

5225443 So are you saying it's not going to be a remake of the series in any way cause that's all I really want to know?

*Sees Screwball tag*
MUST READ NOW
MUUUSSSTT REEAAADD NNOOOOOOWWW


Well this is extremely intriguing
It's like... got so much things that are good in it
Only complaint would be sentence structure and punctuation
The lack of commas where needed is quite frankly rather jarring

5225588 main love interest will be Wild Star an oc I created specifically for this story yes Fluttershy joins in later but that's later

5225728 something pertain from teenagers but nothing Major where you'd get confused.

5225597 teenagers was fucked from the beginning so this is a remake of teenagers and Derpy will be a marefriend but later Wild Star is the current marefriend.

5225846 I never saw teenagers so that doesn't really answer my question well enough for me to know if that was a yes or a no.

Comment posted by Aleksandr Sherbet deleted Nov 4th, 2014

I agree with the first teenagers being a mess
I hardly knew what was going on

i like it looking forward to more




stay classy:moustache:

I see that there is going to be more interaction and more characters. Dante is a minotaur? Blueblood has a sister? I don't know if I like this version of Celestia yet. To me, she seems a bit more distant towards Dante. I'll wait to see how everything regresses once he and Twilight enter Ponyville.
BTW,

who your inner circle basically consisted of: Belle, Dew, Twilight, Barb, your older sister, and of course your mother.

Who is Dante's older sister?

5240183 Dante thinks he's a Minotaur not knowing he's a human and all you'll find out during one of the past chapters I plan to post in a few hours or so

Nice chapter.

And that friends is how I meet my mother I imagine Dante telling his friends when they ask how did he meet Celestia

I like how Dante ended up in Equestria in this story better than in the last. I'm starting to notice an increase in errors though. Is something the matter?

5249760 me not checking things before posting

i like it





stay classy:moustache:

so i like this story, the spirit world stuff is hard to follow at times. but it's interesting to see how the interactions between the spirit world and the normal world play out for donte

i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/aforeffort.png



stay classy:moustache:

5280615 yeah I'll try to clear things up more when he actually enters the spirit world

this is really an interesting story but it's very clearly a devil may cry ripoff/crossover. things could definitely be worded better than they were in here. if you ever need a proofreader i'll do it for you.

5283023 not one hundred percent a devil may cry crossover ripoff or whatever. There will be references about different games and franchise and even music

"It's a fashion emergency good sir!"

Ah yes, a fashion emergency, well sorry sir, but I have an ACTUAL WORLD ENDING LIFE THREATENING, PONIES DYING, FIRE RAINING FROM THE SKY,
ETERNAL DAMNATION OF NIGHT EMERGENCY
GET THE FUCK OUTA THE WAY YOU PUSSY

So, THIS is the remaked version of "Teenagers"/"Vices and Virtues"?

Interesting new take on things. Unfortunately, with Dante staying as sheriff, how is he going to be able to keep up with his princely duties? He's already on thin ice with Celestia. Now, I see the reason for the Spa Sisters character tags. Spirit deputies? Interesting. I have to ask, does Luna know of the spirit world? I would be shocked if she didn't. Her being Princess of the Night and all. I also look forward to seeing who Diamond Tiara's and Screwball's character tags come into play. Finally, I'm glad to see Lola mentioned. Is she going to become Dante's pet again?

5292562 of course Luna would know about the spiritual realm it would be ridiculous if she didn't.

5293675 That's good to know. At least, Dante's aunt will be able to find out that he's the sheriff. I hope we find out how come Celestia can't/doesn't know about the spirit realm, though.

Aww and I wanted to see what happens next:ajsleepy: *sigh* I guess I will have to wait

So, there are more humans in Equestria? Are they called minotaurs as well?

A few minutes later

I swear if he uses that one more time

A few hours later

So close

A few minutes later

I AM GOD DAM DONE

A few minutes later...

You are going to get stabbed

Ok, this is an interesting twist. I want to see more of this story.

5307103
Probably not, because some of them looks like they where take away when they were kids and not babies so, they should now what a human is

5308219 That may be so, but Dante is 20 years old, and even Celestia doesn't know that her 'son' is a human. And unless the other Walkers met Lyra at some point, I don't think none of the other ponies know either.

5308271
But they will know I mean, at what age did you discover you are a human?

this set up is leading to something big. i can't wait




stay classy:moustache:

So why DOESN'T Dante have a familiar?

5311430 Franklin is Dante's famliar I thought I made it clear in the past chapter

5311482 Not exactly. When Lotus and Aloe brought up familiars, it made Franklin seem more of an oddity among the incorporeal.

5314585 read past #1 again near the beginning Franklin mentions he'll become Dante's familiar to save his life in turn he is Dante's familiar

5314670 Again, I understand that, it's simply that the way Dante interacted with Aloe and Lotus made it SEEM different.

I normally don't do criticism,but holy cow does this thing need editors and/or proofreaders, it's all over the place with most of the errors just being simple punctuation marks.

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