• Member Since 14th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen April 20th


Enjoy-er of comedy, liker of Human X Pony (and Human X Anthro), and lover of the most heinous of all fetishes: mutual enjoyment of consent sex!


You are Ted, a human who has been trapped in Equestria for a while now. Under the advice of your pony friends, you've come along to join them in one of Pinkie's summer beach parties. While the ponies play their games, you were just planning on simply relaxing and enjoying the rays of the sun. But after watching the ponies play under sun in swimwear, some mixed emotions are brought out inside you. Have you been trapped so long in this world that you were starting to find your pony friends attractive?

Things get even more complicated for you when a pony you were not expecting showed up beside you. And she asks for a favor of you that you'd never thought you'd hear: help her put on her sunscreen.

But she's Princesses Celestia! The goddess of the sun! Why would a goddess like her need sunscreen?

Story inspired by the art of Tex. Lucky, lucky TexAnon.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 95 )

And then Ted says "I'll be in my bunk."


That punchline.:trollestia:

Please tell me there will be a continuation oh that little weasel, on the other hand this could be the perfect opportunity for him…yeah a little 'payback' she trick him so now by the 'human code' she only had 2 option
1) Agreeing on a date with him or
2) 5 minutes of spanking

Of course there are not such things as that…but Celestia doesn't need to know that right? :trollestia: :raritywink:

I am most certaintly NOT a Ted.... I'm a Stark.

Is Ted like Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother?

Kids I'm going to tell you an incredible story... the story of How I Massaged A Pony Princess!

How did I (Ted) get to Equestria? I (Sky) gotta know... How did I (Ted) get there again? (Oh oh oh oh!) :trollestia:

Please tell me there's going to be a sequel.

Not sure if Trollestia


Don't mean to sound stupid but i don't get the joke at the end. Can someone explain please?

A. No its molestia not trollestia due too some *ahem* sexual themes B. The joke (dumbass) is 0spf meaning no sun protection making just a fuckin lube

A come dude is right there just use it

…oh what hell I want to play too

…and that kids is how I meet your aunt Luna

……or a sober and more subtle and intelligent Molestia, that only want some touch

I like to think she is a nice little mare that had a crush and its taking a book of seduction from Cadence

Yeah that its how Cadence and Armor meet

I wonder how long a man would have to be there before going native.

At the moment, there is no plan for a sequel. Mainly because I haven't thought of any idea of where the story could go after this that I like, and still keep a teen rating.

Whelp Ted, you got trolled.

4907953 Well lets see, factoring out all Brony in Equestria stories, HiE's give time an natural time range from a few weeks to a few years, of course you have to factor out any stories where the ponies develop an attraction to the human soon after he shows up, anything involving the term 'Heat' and anything involving humans who've been in the company of other sapient races. That gives us an average time range of about two-three months on the extremely low end and (ignoring the ones who never 'go native') upwards of ten years on the extreme high, more often two-three years.

So after rounding, averaging and being conservative on both ends. 3 months - 2.5 years.

4907953 Probably after a couple of months or until the sex drive demands attention.

What the hell is Copperpone? :unsuresweetie:

It's the pony version of Coppertone sunscreen.
And 0 spf, so it does jack-squat to protect you from getting sunburned.

And now I'm wondering whether Celestia has the hots for Equestria's lone human or if she's just messing with him.

Princess Celestia is so damn hot! No pun intended. :trollestia:

I tell you Ted could get even, Celestia trick him I think he can 'trick' her in return

A mixture of both with a bit of misplace 'good intention' of helping him get over his growing fear of feeling sexually attracted to something not human.

Yes, but she tricked Ted into giving her a rather enjoyable massage and opening up his attraction to the equestrian populous under the false idea of helping her reach the unreachable spots and protecting her from the sun, which turns out she never needed. A return prank is required, but it's got to be one worthy of the prank she pulled on him. :trollestia:

And that is currently the problem. I have some ideas for it, but I don't think they can stay in the 'teen' rating. If I think of something, you'll have a sequel.

Or you may get a mature sequel. We'll see.

I'd keep this going.

Wow, for once human has a name!! *hooray! hooray!*
I am not into this stuff, but I will give you like for not making another anonforimmersion story! :ajsmug:

And what will be the problem of a 'mature' sequel?
Also if you want a 'teen' prank back you can pull 'the human code' that or something of the lack, something so he can get back at her.

Hmmm you are right, it not very easy…oh maybe he use a mirror that reflect RIGHT on celestia face the moment she rise the sun and she go down to investigated he could surprise her with the cutie mark crusaders saying she will give them 'the talk' it will be innocent AND uncomfortable for Celestia check and mate

4909307 Ponification of Coppertone brand sunscreen?

I don't get the ending.

Itsh pwobably becaush I'm a kid.

The two main 'problems' with making a sequel to this being mature is:
A) I'm not quite comfortable linking a mature story to bypass the filters just to inform people there's a sequel.
B) Those who do not like mature story but enjoyed the playfulness of teen rating would be left out.

I'm not 100% against making a mature sequel, but if I came up with just the right 'teen' rating payback for Celestia it would make the story/revenge that much more better. :pinkiehappy:

Though I do have an idea for how the mature sequel prank could get turned around on poor Ted.... :rainbowwild:

Well you can always make 2 version one mature and the other teen

You keep telling yourself that Ted...:ajsleepy:

t'was funny!!! hahaha!!!

one question though... what is copperpone??? i didn't get that refference.

...and oh!!! sequel please!!!

The sun screen had no spf, indicating that it had no protection against the sun from sunburn...you can see where I'm going with this...unless you need more help.

This is true. But if I do that, I want to make the Teen version first before the mature version.

Which brings us back to finding the right prank/story to follow this, while keeping it under mature.

Hmmm…well you can always go with the old classics, like perhaps put some condoms around Celestia and cover her in whip cream before taking a picture without her not notices, until he give her a copy via Spike with a sigh that says 'thanks you for your time'

you know frank party level of pranks, or that is still to matured?

Most likely a parody (pony pun?) of Coppertone sunscreen.

Lol m8, u are so gettin' blewed.

4912079 i'm not familiar with that brand of sunscreen but what you said makes sense.

You attempt to regain your composer,

Think you meant "composure" there, broski.

Also, great fic. Can't wait to see what you do for a sequel (should you decide to make one).

Goddess Celestia

Yeah, but what about the people who said Celestia isn't a Goddess? You know, the ones who steadfastly insist that she's just an upjumped weather-pony? :applecry:

It seems that I was lied to. Somebody's gonna pay for this.

What's copperpone?:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

But she's Princesses Celestia! The goddess of the sun! Why would a goddess like her need sunscreen?

The blessing's of Jayne be upon thee.

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