Ice Crystals
Ice Crystals
Chapter 2: Ice Crystals
The wind was unusually cool for a late spring evening; a steady breeze that danced through Ponyville, rustling leaves and carrying with it a pleasant aroma. It tickled Rainbow Dash’s nose as she stood on the boutique’s front porch as she silently watched the sky finish its onset of dusk, the stars becoming visible in all their astrological glory. She wished she could be as far away as one of them.
She also wished that somepony who knew all could come tell her who was right and who was wrong.
Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure what she should be feeling. She had every right to be angry… didn’t she? She didn’t ask for her wounds to be opened up. She felt all the memories coming back to her, memories she wished she could push deep into the recesses of her mind.
Was this all Rarity’s fault?
Her eyes closed, and she saw was Rarity’s shell-shocked face. The unicorn was wide eyed in disbelief, scared, and backed up against the wall, too scared to move even an inch. It wasn’t the first time she had lost control of her emotions and it surely wouldn’t be the last.
But it was the first time somepony close to her had witnessed it.
She couldn’t blame this on Rarity, not all of it anyway. It was like throwing her into a minefield and telling her to mark all the mines. Sure, she could mark some of them, but one false step could result in a massive explosion that rocked both of them.
Rainbow turned back towards the bay window, noticing that the lamp inside had been turned off, the inside of the boutique bathed in darkness. She must have decided to turn in, leaving Rainbow all alone for the night.
Her peacefulness was short-lived, as her ears perked up at the tinny squeak of the door. It opened slowly, not that she had to turn around to know who it was.
Instead, she ignored it, focusing on the sky, her wide open sky. It was also a sky that would soon become her personal playground, just as soon as the unicorn behind her would make up her mind and leave the confines of the doorway. She looked back for a moment at Rarity, but said nothing.
“Dash… please, can we just talk? I’m sorry, it was entirely my fault, I shouldn’t have been so…”
“Get on.”
Just as it was quick to depart, the confusion returned to Rarity’s face. She cocked her head at the requested Rainbow uttered in the most uncharacteristically monotone voice she had ever heard.
“Um, I beg your pardon?”
This time, Rainbow did turn around to face her. “I know you heard me. I said get on,” she said with a stern face as she motioned to her back.
Rarity looked at the place in which Rainbow pointed; an area on the center of her back right between both of her wings. Everything in her mind told her what a bad and terrible idea it would be to do such a thing, and she was certain as could be that this would lead to disaster. But she still convinced her mind on account of a single sentence.
Do it for Dash.
She walked over to Rainbow’s side, curious on how a pony would climb upon her back without causing too much discomfort. Walking over to her other side earned her an impatient groan. Using the railing for leverage, she hopped up on the swell of Rainbow’s back.
Rarity closed her eyes, taking deep a lungful of crisp evening air before a sudden noise caused her breath to be lodged in her throat. She opened her eyes to find both wings outstretched in a very familiar manner.
It was then she realized Rainbow was starting to run, the same type of run associated with her…
“Rainbow STOP!!”
Cyan hooves came to a screeching halt, digging into the earth below. Rainbow craned her neck back, noticing Rarity was about to tumble over her mane and onto her head, but was able to hold on by a hair. She could feel her shivering, comparable to if it was the middle of winter.
“I… I don’t think I’m ready for this yet,” she stammered, her panic beginning to fade. “Being in the air, without any safety belts or anything, heaven forbid something were to happen up there.”
Rainbow stood still for a minute, feeling the deep breathes Rarity took atop her and comparing them to a mare who had just finished a marathon.
“When was the last time you flew with somepony?”
“…The day you saved me.”
Rainbow simply grinned slightly. Although slightly offended at the gesture, Rarity felt a weight being lifted off her shoulders at the pseudo-pleasant reaction. However, that weight was a tiny pebble sitting next to a huge boulder, one she was going to address in the most direct of ways, whether she wanted to or not.
Desperately, Rarity tried to curtail the imagery of her body falling through the sky. Unknowingly, she closed her eyes only to be interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
Rarity silently watched Rainbow’s mane dance in the gentle breezes, waves of sweeping color accented by the sunset behind her. There was a change in her mood, the familiar feeling of determination radiating as it slowly burned within the pegasus. She recognized that look, the same one that appeared the day she was rescued, the same one when they and the others had to save Equestria.
She jolted as she felt an invisible current flow through her foreleg, looking down to see Rainbow gripping her hoof tightly. As she brought her head up, she met that determined gaze.
“Do you trust me?”
It was a simple question, but as the seconds ticked on by, Rarity could’ve sworn it was the most difficult in all of Equestria.
“I… I don’t know.” She began to shiver in anticipation, her nerves getting the best of her. “I mean what if I fall off, and then you’ll have to risk your life to save me again and I’ll owe you even more than I do now and…”
Rainbow put a hoof to her lips which silenced her nervous babbling.
“Rarity…”
She looked up.
“Do you trust me?”
Rainbow trusted her enough to admit a deep hidden fear nopony knew about, even if it was thanks to an insistent prodding. She knew it wouldn’t be fair if she didn’t do the same.
“Yes.”
Another one of those tiny grins graced Rainbow’s face.
“Hold on tight.”
Rarity did exactly that, her eyes glued shut as the pony beneath her begin to move forward in strides. She could feel herself heating up again, her hooves becoming clammy which compromised her vice-like grip on Rainbow’s shoulders. She knew that her best bet was to avoid panicking, because that just led to fainting, and the last thing Rarity wanted was to fall like a rag doll off her marefriend’s back.
So she breathed.
Breathe in, count to three.
1…
2…
3…
And out.
Rarity opened her eyes, and screamed.
Or attempted to scream at the very least. All that came out was the sound of a coarse dry throat, a squeak as her body remained tensed up against Rainbow’s. The only noise present was the wind whipping at their backs, her eyes becoming watery as particulates slammed into her face and mane. She noted that a shower was in order once they landed.
She turned around cautiously to look at the boutique, but this only caused her blood pressure to rise as the structure continued to dwindle in size. Within a minute, it resembled a white and purple tinted dot on the landscape. In fact, every structure resembled dots, whether it be Golden Oaks or Sweet Apple Acres, although the farm was considerably larger in size. Nevertheless, Ponyville looked like only a cluster of dots, and Rarity could only guess at how high in the air they were. She wasn’t sure if she could take the answer without an impending heart attack.
Rarity felt the hard pull of gravity weaken considerably, and realized that they had stopped gaining altitude.
“So right now, we’re gliding on the top of the troposphere,” Rainbow blurted out randomly, assuming Rarity would hear the small lesson she was going to teach. “All the weather, blizzards, droughts, thunderstorms and all, take place here. I’ll show you something even cooler that happens here too.”
Confusion set into Rarity’s mind for the umpteenth time. Just minutes ago, Rainbow had left her home on the mere account of her presence. Now she looked to be in good spirits, as if the last five hours never happened.
Her confusion soon vanished as Dash darted left, her wings flapping along as flew towards a nearby cloud. Slowly, she descended with careful attention, making sure the cloud was strong enough to support their combined weight. She couldn’t imagine how she would make it up for Rarity if they fell through a cloud.
The cloud made a soft, slightly squishy noise as they landed. Rainbow chuckled at the noise, and cocked her head and eyes back just to see a glimpse of her passenger, who was still clutching onto her for dear life. The sight nearly made her laugh, seeing Rarity’s panic stricken face akin to if she had just seen a ghost. It was worth the pain of how hard her hooves were digging into her sides.
“Rares, I’m not even moving now. Lighten up or you’ll give me bruises kay?”
Rarity looked down and finally noticed just how tightly she was holding onto Rainbow’s back, more specifically the very base of her wings. She could see a small amount of bruising already start to form, a light violet hue forming at each area. To her surprise, Rainbow didn’t seem to notice very much, if at all.
“Sorry sorry, I’m just kind of terrified if you can’t tell dear. Remember, I did m-mention that I’m still scared of being up here like this,” she said, teeth chattering as the air around her felt like the middle of winter. “Also, why is it so absolutely frigid? Why I feel like m-my teeth are going to fall out.”
She glared daggers as Rainbow chuckled at her. “Well it’s always like this up here. The sun has a hard time warming air with nothing around, and really all that’s here are clouds.” She looked around for a moment, sticking out a hoof to get a better sense of the winds and temperature. “We aren’t very high up either.”
Rarity looked down and then at the back of Rainbow’s head with her mouth agape again. “You mean we’re going higher?!”
“Rares, just trust me. Where I’m taking you is somewhere not many ponies go. Heck, I’m one of only a couple pegasi to ever go up there,” she explained as she dipped her hoof into the cloud, swirling around the water vapor into a small funnel like shape. “I think…” she paused for a moment, before glancing back at Rarity, “No, I know you’ll love it. Just trust me.”
Just trust me.
Rarity mouthed those three words, letting them each roll off her tongue. She was sure she could trust Rainbow, but a lingering doubt still existed deep within the recesses of her mind, one that told her to turn back now before it was too late. It told her that maybe she should keep that fear and others bottled up, locked away from anypony who dared to get too close to them for her comfort. Trust was just a word, and how did she know everything would be alright if she let her secrets escape?
“Rainbow Dash, I…”
Just trust me.
But isn’t trust one of the things relationships revolved around?
She should be able to tell Dash anything and everything. She should allow herself to put all her cards on the table.
Rarity looked up at Rainbow Dash to find a look of fear and apprehension, one that rivaled the same look given to her the very night earlier on. It was enough for her to make up her mind.
“…Lead the way before I change my mind.”
Her heart leaped up into her throat as Rainbow’s bright grin resurfaced. To her surprise, she was scooped up and put into a tight, yet short embrace. She could feel Dash’s body heat course through her making the air feel a little less cold. Rarity tried to hide the deep crimson blush that creeped up her muzzle, but had to admit that the idea of a romantic gesture from Rainbow up here secluded from everypony else was quite appealing. As she was placed back down, she almost was disappointed in the moment being so short.
“Alrighty, you’re gonna wanna strap in for the next part, things might get a bit bumpy.”
Rarity gulped. “Well I guess a little turbulence is expected right?” Apparently Rainbow didn’t hear her as she went into a full gallop, her wings extended as she took off into a gentle glide.
Unexpectedly, she felt a sudden downward force, and looked down to see everything start to increase in size. Rarity felt her stomach rise up into her throat as the pegasus dived downwards, her entire body stiff and frozen on Rainbow’s back as she feared the worst. She just hoped she’d be able to hold onto her lunch.
“We’re going into a current! Brace yourself!” Rainbow bellowed, her face contorting from the velocity of the wind whipping through her mane and onto her face.
Their speed was picking up at an incredible clip. From any pony looking towards the sky, the pair would resemble a shooting star. Rainbow felt like a living lightning bolt darting around her endless playground, capable of doing things in the air very few pegasi were able to accomplish.
The sky was her mantra, the fuel which allowed her to be who she was. She closed her eyes momentarily, feeling the air whipping around them, each strand of hair on her mane and tail moving as if they had minds of their own. She breathed in the crispness of the air again, and felt as it swirled inside her.
Her eyes opened as she knew that they were approaching sonic rainboom speeds, but held off as she glanced momentarily back at Rarity. The fashionista had her eyes screwed shut, hooves practically welded onto Dash’s back. She would have shown Rarity the experience of a rainboom, but decided against it, for fears of giving her a heart attack.
“Open your eyes!”
Sure enough, Rarity’s eyes snapped open at the command, just as Rainbow started to lift, using their previous speed to send them rocketing upward. They blasted straight through a puffy cumulus cloud, and Rainbow spun as she ascended, leaving a prismatic trail of swirly white vapor behind them.
Rarity finally felt it in her to try and scream again, and scream did she ever.
What she didn’t bank on was her screams to be mixed with cackles of laughter and giggles as they danced amongst the cloud tops. Rainbow had slowed down, and the pair now floated upon the clouds. Rarity felt a sense of weightlessness come upon her, a pleasant tickling feeling that settled in the pits of her stomach like butterflies. It was unlike any feeling she ever remembered, or ever experienced.
As soon as they leveled out, Rainbow could hear nothing but giggles coming from her passenger, and turned to see Rarity still seated upon her, but with only a single hoof holding on, while the other wafted through the air. She grinned as the unicorn continued to marvel at the sky before them, illuminated by the moon and stars.
“Is somepony enjoying themselves?”
Rarity turned and was met by a huge “I told ya so” grin etched on Rainbow’s face. Temptation was there to smack it off her face, but she merely settled on rolling her eyes with a huff.
“Aw come on Rares, don’t be like that. Besides, what I really wanted to show ya is right above us.” Rarity just cocked an eyebrow in her direction.
Gently, Rainbow started to gain altitude, rising yet another hundred hooves before leveling out again. “Now, look up and you’ll see what I mean.”
From the ground, the sight above their heads didn’t look all that spectacular. Any onlooker would merely see some thin and wispy cirrus clouds, something most ponies would never think much about. Even Rainbow Dash herself didn’t initially have an appreciation for this weather phenomenon, not until she became part of the team responsible for it, and definitely not before seeing it in person.
It was only the third time she’d ever seen it up close.
The sky was flooded with tiny twinkling lights, millions upon millions of them dancing together as the lightest of breezes tossed them about. These Ice crystals that made up the cirrus clouds, every one of them reflecting a minuscule amount of light, and each one unique.
To Rarity, it was one of the most awe inspiring sights she had ever witnessed firsthand. Although not a pony who enjoyed dirtying herself without cause, she did have a love for the natural beauty mother nature created. It was one of her most frequent sources of inspiration, whether it be for her fall line, or even a decorative tablecloth to correctly fit the season. Part of her mind started kicking into hyperdrive, imagining the ice crystals as the centerpiece for future designs.
But the other part of her told her to forget about it all, everything, and live in the moment.
Without hesitation, she lifted up a hoof, becoming even more slack jawed as the ice crystals danced around her hoof, as if she was drawing an invisible line through the cloud itself. Her eyes remained wide and attentive, taking in as much of the scenery as possible as the ice crystals moved about, to and fro, her hoof resulting in the creation of two new clouds, formed from the one. It was a visual ecstasy.
“Dash..,” Rarity breathed, barely able to put into words what she was watching, “This is incredible. How did you ever find this place?”
“It was by accident. Most of the cool places I find are,” she said. “I just fly where the wind or my mind takes me.”
“Does it ever cross your mind that you could get lost?”
“Nah. I assume that I’ll always be led back home. I think my mind just knows never to leave Ponyville at this point, since there is so much of me there.”
Although she didn’t understand the logic completely, Rarity couldn’t argue with Rainbow’s explanation. The last thing she wanted to do was let her curiosity best her again, she couldn’t bear to find herself in a similar predicament.
Instead, she remained silent, as did Rainbow. They paid their attention to the magic unfolding in front of them, marveling at how the wind shaped and shifted the millions upon millions of ice crystals. Rarity still couldn’t believe how graceful it was, as if an experienced puppeteer was controlling every single crystal with the movement of an invisible string.
Yet she still felt undeserving of such a show, not after what she had caused.
Maybe it was the right time to try and fix it.
“Rainbow?”
“Yeah?”
“I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I never meant to make a remark like I did, it wasn’t fair to you and you didn’t deserve that. It just didn’t seem like that big deal to me at the time. I should have considered your feelings.”
Rarity felt relieved, as if she let a breath she had held in for an eternity finally escape.
It was short-lived as she looked upon Rainbow’s currently unreadable face. The mare had difficulty sensing any dominant emotion in her, and was presented with a blank, neutral face.
“Alright then.”
“Wait a minute, that’s it? Why I thought you’d be happy or still angry with me at the very least. You just sound disinterested to be honest.”
“Rares, I’m just conflicted okay?”
“About what darling?”
A long sigh escaped Rainbow’s lips, and she started to sharply descend towards a small cumulus cloud. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to provide both of them with a place to take another break.
Her hooves met the soft, spongey texture of the cloud with an audible squish. It was anice feeling, one resembling one of those massages Rarity once took her to, but those were nowhere near as comfortable as the cloud itself.
Rainbow stood atop the cloud in silence, only noticing after a moment that Rarity hadn’t moved a muscle. She turned her head around, just enough so she could see the unicorn out of her eye before she looked up.
Together, they stared above themselves, becoming lost in the magic of the night. The stars continued to dance, as if they were free, free from the stress and problems of the universe they inhabited. Rainbow envied them, even if they weren’t alive.
What was stopping her from becoming this way, from becoming free of the burdens she held inside?
“Remember what I mentioned, you know, that self-confidence thing and all?” Rainbow asked, feeling the accelerated beating of Rarity’s heart through her body, “I thought that I could fly so far away it would disappear. Yet a single word, one I know you didn’t mean to say, set me off. To think that I’ve held this in for so long, heck, none of you even knew till now.”
“If you think I’m going to blab this to everypony I see, well, I won’t. You have my promise that my lips will remain sealed,” Rarity said, the guilt building up and accelerating her heartbeat. She wondered if Rainbow noticed. “And yes, I know I gossip a bit.” Rarity could sense the glare on Rainbow’s face. “Alright a lot. But nevertheless, I would never say anything bad about my friends. You know that.”
“Thanks… but that’s not what I meant.”
Rarity casted a cloudwalking spell on herself, wondering why she hadn’t done so before. Cautiously, she got off Dash’s back, putting all four hooves down onto the cloud itself. Testing the cloud with a couple light punches, she took a seat, motioning for Rainbow to follow.
“Now then… what did you mean?”
“I should be over something so, childish by now,” Rainbow said, looking completely away from Rarity, her eyes focusing on a distant star. “To be honest, I feel stupid worrying about this so much. I mean, why can’t I just go out in a dress and act like myself. This stuff never bothers me when I’m flying.”
“Well, of course it wouldn’t.”
Rainbow turned back, finding Rarity’s eyes scanning the sky just as hers were. In an instant she felt a pair of alabaster hooves pull her close, so close in fact that she could feel each heartbeat course through Rarity’s body.
“This is your element Rainbow Dash!” One hoof gestured towards the entire sky before them as the other held her firmly. “Twilight has her library, Pinkie the bakery, Fluttershy her home and animals, and AJ has her farm and family. Each of them has a place where they can truly answer the calling of who they really are.”
“What about you?”
“Me? Well I have my boutique of course. Granted, it isn’t the only place I can be myself, nor is it for the rest of our friends. My first point being, I am not even the slightest bit surprised that you are not bothered while flying.”
A pair of hooves flew up in the air as Rainbow groaned loudly, escaping Rarity’s grip as she fell back into the cloud with an audible poof. “I already know that! Being up here… it helps me live in the present, and ignore the past.”
Rarity loudly cleared her throat, attracting a set of eyes. “You didn’t let me get to my other point.”
Sighing, Rainbow buried her face in her hooves, motioning with one for Rarity to continue. Between her hooves she could make out a rather tiny cirrus cloud that had drifted away from the rest. The cloud sat directly above Rarity, who slowly dragged her hoof through it, repeating the same motion that had divided the one cloud earlier on.
“Each one of these ice crystals is unique, beautiful in their own way, whatever that may be. What I see when I look at you is an ice crystal, my ice crystal. As cliché as you may find it to be, you’re beautiful Rainbow Dash, inside and out. Everything you do and every quality you possess good or bad, makes you you. And for the love of Celestia, you are not stupid.”
“Rares… you don’t have to…”
“You have fears and flaws, some of them much more prominent than others. But everypony does because nopony’s perfect. Perfection is something I may try to achieve when I design things darling, but you have to understand that I know there is no such thing. Everypony had their insecurities, it's just a matter of putting them aside, and not letting them control us. I’ll put every waking hour into making the perfect dress, which is actually what I tried to do for you. In the end was it flawed? Of course. But as long as you loved it, that was all I needed.”
“Like the gala dresses you made us right?”
Rarity giggled lightly. “Dear, I designed those around what you all asked because I wanted to appease all of you. Now did I like them?”
“Most likely not right?”
“Let’s just say they wouldn’t be something I would ever design on my own. But I would have proudly told anypony I made those for you, because the five of you looked absolutely fabulous in them, no matter what I thought of them.”
In the slightest of instances, a small smile graced Rainbow’s face. “My dress did look pretty cool, didn’t it? Almost as cool as the one I tore to shreds…”
“I take no offense to that, dear, nor do I ask for an apology.” Rarity could hear the loud sigh of relief escape through Rainbow’s lips. “However, you are far from being off the hook.” Rainbow’s sighs of relief were instantly replaced with a gasp and a swallow of anxiety. The idea of seeing how far she could take this intrigued Rarity, but she filed it in the back of her mind. It would better suit an instance where Rainbow really did something downright stupid.
“Starting tomorrow, I want to see Rainbow Dash. Not the Rainbow Dash I saw today, not the Rainbow Dash who is scared of inner demons, because that one is gone now. Instead, I want to see the true Rainbow Dash, the fearless loyal companion I love, and the best friend to everypony."
"Rares, I just don't know. I've tried for years, and it'll just come back."
"It might, but remember, you're not fighting it alone." She put a foreleg around Rainbow, nuzzling into her side and watching as she blushed. "I'll be with you every step of the way, and we'll figure out our problems together."
"But I still don't..."
"Shh..." Rarity put a hoof to Rainbow's lips. "All I ask for is Rainbow Danger Dash. Now can you do that?”
It was as if somebody flipped a switch. Within seconds, the sporty, confident demeanor that Rainbow always wore returned as she leaped up into the air and did a flip, doing a perfect landing with her face inches in front of Rarity’s.
“It’s a deal! Now, let’s go home, it’s dark as heck out here,” she pointed out, motioning for Rarity to climb on her back again.
“Wait… I didn’t say I was finished,” Rarity remarked. “You also must go with me to the spa for an entire day, and get the full package.”
The groan and whine that emitted from Rainbow’s lips sent a solid sound wave radiating for miles. “Do I have to… you know I hate hooficures.”
“Do think that I am asking you to accompany me to something that I am paying for. That dress you tore apart wasn’t exactly the cheapest of materials,” she deadpanned. “But… I suppose I can let you skip the hooficure part.” Rarity jumped slightly as Dash kissed her on the cheek. Her face now flushed, Rarity hopped back onto Rainbow’s back, finding her comfy spot before signaling that everything was a-okay.
“Catching you off guard like that will never get old.”
“Oh shush you.”
Rainbow chuckled. “You all good?”
“Actually, could we go up to see the ice crystals one more... WAHHH!”
Rainbow jumped off and dived before she could finish, gliding and flapping her wings to gain altitude.
Rarity watched behind them for a moment, looking back at the lone little cloud they had sat on as it shrank till it was merely a blip in the sky. She could only hope that wasn’t the only thing that they would leave behind.
This is a pretty big milestone for me. Not that its a huge accomplishment or anything, but this is the first story I've put on the site since April, so it's almost been an entire year. Yeesh, and to think some of you have been waiting for me all this time. Makes me feel a bit bad you know? 
I started this before Season 3 mind you, which explains the little hint of Golden Oaks in there, I figured I would leave that alone and not update it for the current canon.
Hope you enjoyed it, and as always, all reviewers will get a cookie!
- DJRD
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Since I came to this site I've been asking the same question: Why is (almost literally) every second story on the site tagged as a Romance and/or a ship-fic?
So, I decided I'd read this one (via luck of the draw). And it seems I did, in fact, get pretty lucky (all things considered
)!
This is a very sweet story. In my mind though, it just still seems weird to do these sorts of 'smooshy' (for lack of a better word, sorry) stories with characters from the (kid's) show.
I'm not trying to take a dig at you or your writing at all. It's just always seemed like it may be, my idea of 'romance' as well as the weight that term implies, is different from those around me-- I don't know.
But putting that aside.
Now I can say I've at least tried reading one, and I'm glad I chose this one. It was a well written, balanced and very warm read (ironically, heheh). Well done =)
5735973 Haven't read the story yet, but your comment caught my eye. I'm not certain, but I think a lot of writers don't really think of them as characters from a (kid's) show. They think of them as characters whose adventures someone made a kid's show from. There is a difference. The first is like saying that if some person is seen in a reality show that the show documents the person's entire life, and the second is saying that the show only shows the interesting and show-appropriate bits of that persons life.
Thus, when they write stories, they are treating the show as a "reality-cartoon" about the life of ponies and are trying to write stories of the "real" ponies behind those kid-friendly bit's shown in the cartoon. Really, that's the only way to do it if you want to write something else than silly type of comedies, as the mediums are so different. The cartoons are full of silly visual gag's that would make written stories quite nonsensical if they were treated as canon. And if you are imagining the ponies as real persons to be able to write all types of stories with them, then it makes sense that they go to toilet like real persons, fall in love like real persons, have sex like real persons, get hurt like real persons etc.
It's a zero (0utcast9851). the more you know.
5736185
And I agree with you. I think a big part of what was driving my original comment, however, was the thought of: We can all write so many great stories about such fantastic characters doing such interesting things...
...Yet 9/10 of the stories I see around the place are romance & ship-fics.
The sheer volume of that style of story, more than anything else about them, confounds me to almost the point of being irked (I do say, sir! *adjusts monocle*).
So I decided to take the question of: 'Why so many ships? Is the tag of 'Romance' just getting overused, or do we see it differently?' from just in my head, to a public forum.
Or...comments section, as it were
Oh hell yes, this was brilliant.
5736358 I think that, paradoxically, it is popular because it is popular. People like that kind of thing, so FiMfiction writers write more of it. People read and like the stories, and writers, seeing that romance is popular, write more of it. And the cycle continues...
I agree, I would like to see less romance and more adventures.
This thread by BluegrassBrooke shows everything that makes a proper romance.
5736358
To be fair, even a lot of stories that don't actually focus on romance usually end up with a romance tag simply because there are relationships in the story somewhere.
I mean, I dunno, to put a weird example... If freaking Spider-Man was a FimFiction story, it'd probably get a romance tag too because of Peter Parker's love interests, though I'm sure nobody would ever consider Spider-Man a "romance."
But yeah, even considering that, there's a lot of stories focusing exclusively on shipping.
I would've likes this if I had any idea what the fuck was going on from the beginning. It was very jarring and unpleasant to be thrown into the middle of a story with zero background.
5736358 Well, as 5736840 said, a lot of the stories have the romance tag because there is some romance somewhere in the story. Quite a lot of the larger stories with multiple characters will have some romance subplot, which makes sense if you think about it.
But I think that the reason for the large amount of pure romance stories is the fact that a lot of people ship different pairings. I, for example, am almost exclusively interested in TwiDash. So, while I will read almost any TwiDash story, I will have no interest for, say, TwiPie. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. The result is that the romance tag could be argued to be made out of a bunch of mini-tags, each being their own pairing. Which of course means there will be a bunch of romance stories as a lot of writers make stories of their favorite pairing.
Also, I think writing a romance story is kinda low-hanging fruit. It's easy to write generic romance as the plot will also be generic. Pony A asks pony B for a date, they go to a restaurant/picnic/etc., they declare their undying love for each other and then they kiss. It's kinda harder to think of some good plot for, say, a good friend-shipping story (something I would really like to see more of).
What?
Rainbow's lines don't feel Rainbow-y. I don't mean in the sense that it's not all... "Woohoo I'm derped-as-fuck on how cool I am!" that she tends to portray herself as, because we all know that's just a mask, as the Rainboom episode showed us. A common issue people have when writing Dash and Scootaloo is not taking into account that their usual vocabulary is somewhat more stunted than it is eloquent or loquacious. Yet when many writers write Dash/Scootaloo, they end up sounding practically like Rarity.
Knowing people like Dash, I feel like her inability to care about the nuances of wording and communication in general is part of why she's the way she is, since it's hard to get feelings across in a way people understand due to either lacking the words because she didn't learn them or the words just don't exist, she'd only care about the mask she shows the world, thus leaving her frustrated in situations where she needs to be open with her feelings, and impatient with talking in general.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
5736840 I had a feeling that was the case.
5737283 I agree with what you guys have been saying (which is a relief) and I can see what you mean as well.
So, I've found myself with another question: Do you reckon it'd be worthwhile for there to be a 'shipping' tag as well as just the 'romance' tag? I reckon that'd make a big difference, and help reduce homogenisation of the stories on the site.
Very well done story. Raridash is a good ship, and seeing Rainbow fight confidence issues is always a good thing for handling her character. I will admit, I was really confused when I started on the first chapter, and I wondered if I'd accidentally started the second chapter or a sequel to some original story when an explanation wasn't immediately forthcoming. Regardless, once everything was cleared up and squared away, I was able to really enjoy this story.
Keep up the good work!
24
Very nice read ya got here.
5738397 I wanted to start the story showing the aftermath of the situation, with the idea that you would keep reading in order to find out what had happened and why.
Glad you enjoyed it!
5738467 Indeed
5737785 This isn't the first time somebody''s mentioned this to me. I'll admit I've written Dash somewhat overly smart for her actual character before, but I learned to dial that down.
I've read lauded stories before that write her as being close to downright stupid and oblivious, and it just doesn't fit the headcanon I have for her. That being said, do you think I wrote her too differently? Just curious...
5737347 Thanks for the find, lemme fix that.
5736953 I wanted to start off with the aftermath, and have the reader continue on to figure out what had happened, and why. The idea was basically using the technique "in media res," which is a narrative technique of relating a story to the midpoint rather than the beginning.
5736578 Glad you enjoyed it!
5735973 I write romance because I love it one, and two because there is basically an unlimited amount of ideas for it. I always loved writing romance scenes and I have a ton of fun with them. Other stuff like most comedy, long drawn out Equestria war fics, human in Equestria, etc, just never was an interest of mine. And CDRT's comment basically summed up my thoughts better than I could.
I'm happy you enjoyed the story though!
5738529
Yes. While I wouldn't call Rainbow Dash dumb, she's not... smart, either. Doesn't fit her character, her archetype, her group dynamic, or the way she handles issues. She's the hothead, impatient, brash, bratty and boastful (in attitude and personality, leastways - her better character attributes aren't part of her personality). That's the main reason people like her so much, no less - she's the stand-out and always worried about her image. Compared to Applejack who is essentially a more well-rounded pony than RD but sits at the opposite end of the pony-favorites spectrum on most polls. RD believes in actions more than words, and that much is canonical. I've given my feelings on why that is based on my experiences with similar real people already.
Essentially, the pacing of her speech, the words she uses, even with the mask off and dealing with deeper emotions than she's used to hashing out (rather than escaping and burying, in your story), are several notches above the bar for even barefaced Rainbow Dash. The story's good, don't get me wrong. I've just noticed you might have let some of Rarity's level of speech bleed into Dash's when writing this. Which is easy to do and kind of sneaks up on you, and is sometimes hard to spot because you're reading it and it's like listening to a normal person talking - but then if you think about it, that's not really how Dash sounds.
5738570
I totally agree with you about the story, but I want to jump in and say that while Rainbow Dash isn't book-smart or eloquent like Twilight or Rarity, I wouldn't exactly say that she isn't 'Smart'. She and Applejack show a lot more common sense then most of the other cast (Most of the time, cough Mare-do-well cough,) and she seems good at on-the-fly (pun) thinking and planning.
I realize that this has nothing to do with the topic at hand, it's just a pet peeve of mine when people use 'Smart' to mean 'Educated', since there are a lot of educated people who aren't particularly bright and a lot of really clever and smart individuals who aren't well educated.
When Rainbow asked 'Do you trust me?' this instantly sprang to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kl4hJ4j48s
Listened to that while I read the rest. Was not dissappointed.
5738794
Good example: Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. He's educated, but hellova lot socially crippled.
That was a very nice, touch my feels, kind of story. It's not my usual cup of preferred tea, but still a good read. I always enjoy authors who take the creative liberty to expand and flesh out cannon characters such as what you did here. It truly expands on the cannon characterization to such a splendid degree that is always enjoyable to one who recognizes and appreciates a good read.
I pity all the fools who fall for sub-standard, unimaginative stories that recycle the same overdone formulas and orgasm over such rabble.
Well done.
5738794
Dash actually exhibits the second least amount of common sense next to Pinkie Pie ("I'm going to fly right up to that planet-killing dark alicorn goddess and punch her in the nose! Nothing can go wrong!"). Which is suspect because Pinkie seems like she just ignores common sense on purpose. And for the love of Celestia don't bring up Mare-Do-Well please, you'll find I hold a very different opinion (due to an overwhelming amount of experience and years studying psychology) about it than most people and I've been arguing to show people the truth they're missing out on while they hate on the episode or the characters' decisions ever since that episode aired. It has been a long, slow battle to dispense enlightenment on the subject and my converts and I are a tad weary of the good fight.
As for smart, I use it both ways - because I've never met a dumb smart person, but I have met stupid intelligent people. Rainbow Dash feels far more instinctual than 'smart'. She has very keen instincts, and the type to think with her 'gut' rather than her brain. Every team needs someone like that, and Rainbow Dash is that girl. Like I said, she's not dumb in any sense of the word. Her talents lie elsewhere than book-learning or contemplative thinking and comprehension. Each of the girls has their own weaknesses that another girl covers for - which is the very basis of Harmony to begin with. Rainbow Dash is physically excellent, and very physically-minded. However, that trade-off is +Dex +Str -Int -Wis (obligatory +20% Cha), to put it in a quantifiable and familiar format.
So, no worries. I was not insulting Rainbow Dash in the slightest. It's no different than saying that while I might be strong and smart, I'm fairly lumbering and slow. (It's the afro, all that wind resistance I'll bet!) Simply pointing out strengths and weaknesses.
5739238
Getting off topic here, but I actually quite like The Mysterious Mare Do Well. It's not the greatest episode ever, but I enjoyed it. I only brought it up because she shows rather lackluster investigative skills. (Either there are a lot of alicorns we never get to see, or Rainbow should really be figuring out that Mare Do Well is more than one pony pretty easily.)
5739273
Interesting! You're a rather rare outlier, you know. Commonly when someone brings up that episode they're harping on how 'stupid and mean' the rest of the girls are while fawning over Dash as if she did absolutely nothing wrong and was a victim. It's gotten quite grating over the... year? Two years? I don't remember how long it's been. Many kudos to you.
5739289
To be fair, it's easy to miss a brief comment partway through the episode that lets you know it's been quite a while since Rainbow started bragging, and without hearing that comment or seeing any transitions, it's easy to think that they started harping on Rainbow at the drop of a hat. (Again, it's not the best episode ever, but it's nowhere near as bad as Putting Your Hoof Down or most Spike episodes, in my opinion.)
5739301
I found Putting Your Hoof Down to be hilarious. ... Mostly just for the fact that Iron Will is voiced by Mr. Satan from DBZ and likewise my favorite character from Borderlands 2: Mr. Torgue. The guffaws were strong that morning.
And I agree, the Spike episodes were horrible. Each one felt like a waste of a week of waiting to me. That was before the Spike-cultists here on Fimfic drove me to disliking the chubby little scribe, even (it took a death threat to accomplish that!).
Still, getting back on track, I hope I cleared up any misunderstanding about my use of wording on Rainbow Dash's character analysis.
5739330
What track? I see no track!
And I couldn't really enjoy it. As funny as some of the jokes were, Fluttershy was horribly out of character and there were so many contrived assholes that came out of absolute nowhere just to force the plot along. I marathoned the first two seasons of the show on Netflix when I found out about it, and this episode plays right after A Friend In Deed, the episode about how everypony is friendly and nice in Ponyville. It was a bit jarring to go from that episode to one where pretty much every single character is rude, obnoxious, and cruel. (Including the majority of the main characters.)
I doubt I can offer much that hasn't been discussed already, except for one minor quibble:
"astronomical glory," perhaps? Astrology being the hocus-pocus fortune-telling-from-the-stars thing, rather than the study of celestial bodies. Didn't jar me out of the narrative really, but I couldn't help wondering if Dash was a Scorpio after seeing the word there.
5739521
Wow... There are no words to describe just how inappropriate and vindictive this comment is. its Comments like these that make me glad I can block people. If you don't like something, and have no constructive criticism to give, keep it to yourself, there's enough bad stuff in this world that you don't need to be adding to it.
5739521 By your logic...
...that shouldn't be in the synopsis either. The editors and cover artist don't necessarily tie into the actual plot, but they deserve to be credited for their efforts in the story description. You didn't complain about that, though.
When writers get their stories featured, it's something they are proud of. They have every right to mention it at the bottom of the story description.
5740578
I actually agree with you wholeheartedly. I detest the "featured!" thing in descriptions. A lot.
I was still the first person to downvote your comment. Because crowing about how much of a dick you just were to someone is actually far worse than a little back-patting after a job well done. You really could have just drive-by downvoted, or been like, "hey, I don't like this" in a civil or even mildly exasperated manner. Instead you decided to be all, "no, screw yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu" because... I dunno.
I mean, again, I get it, but self-control is a part of being civilized.
By the way, if we're splitting hairs, dedications ("thanks to my fans/mom/Ralph/etc.") and accolades ("praise for Book X") do appear at the start of books and on covers.
Hey!
That's my username!
Love the story, too.
Raridash is now added on the list of ships.
5740578
I will say that your response does indeed have merit. Crediting people that had some impact on how the story is presented isn't the same as writing "Featured" in the description, but personally, I see that as FimFic's equivalent of having a published book that won a Pulitzer (or some other award like that) having that badge on the front cover, which is common. That tends to make people want to read a story more, not less. When the story LEAVES the Featured box, the author will still be proud that it was there at some point, and they will want to let people know.
It's unfair to give a story a downvote just because they wrote that their story was featured in the description. If you want to make your opinion known that you don't like that, then fine— just write a comment instead. A single comment won't necessarily alter others' perceptions of the story, but downvoting a story for the sole reason that they wrote "Featured" in the description is not only petty, but it alters the story's rating for the future, and again, that's really just not fair.
5740639
Perhaps we should compromise: you admit we have a shared valid point (as you already have), I admit I could expressed mine better (as I could have), we delete our respective posts and be on our way, yes?
5740674
5740810
5740639
I don't put featured there in order for people to know that it's been featured. Rather, I mostly like it there because it reminds me that the story was featured, and that makes me feel pretty good about what i wrote, you know? Yes, so much crap can get into the feature box, but I consider it an accomplishment to myself when one of my stories, typically a simple everyone rated romance story, beats out all of the clopfics and feature grab bait stories to get up there.
So yeah... sorry if I committed any offence by doing that, it's just something I've always done for myself.
5741367 Nah, no offense to me— I was defending ya.
If I got one of my stories in the box, I'd probably do the same.
BTW, congrats! Personally, I'm not a Raridash fan, and I did catch a number of remaining errors, but it was still a nice story.
5741367
I agree with and respect your reasoning, if not your actions.
I place great weight on humility and letting one's accomplishments speak for themselves.
Quite honestly, if people put the "featured on (date)" thing in the description once it left the box, I'd be much more personally okay with it. But while it's in the box? Always struck me as redundant. I mean, we can see it got featured, can't we?
Anyway, I'll review this when I'm soonest able! Enjoy your comeback fame.
I love this fic. Every part about it was executed so masterfully. It was such a pleasure to read.
Though I must say that my absolute favorite part was the first chapter. You open up right in the action, making everyone curious and demanding to know what happened. They're hooked instantly. Then, you don't use the flashback excuse. You don't have the character monologue. You keep Rarity completely in character as she is lamenting to Opal about what went wrong. There wasn't a single fault with it. It just worked so well for Rarity, no questions about it. Phenomenal job.
5739289
I always felt like everyone fucked up. That was a really stupid way to go about dealing with Dash's ego problem, but what a lot of people forgot/ignore is that if Applejack hadn't stopped that cart a lot of ponies would have died because Dash wanted to deliver a catchphrase and showboat before saving them.
5743859
Ugh. ;-; Alright, I'll do it this one time...
It was actually a brilliant way to go about it. As I've stated, I have a great deal of experience handling people with Rainbow Dash's overall personality. I can tell you from that experience, that if you tell them that they are doing something wrong (especially while they're riding the high of it) they will at best become flippant and dismissive of any concerns brought up, and at worst become irate and defensive to the point of simply completely ignoring you or becoming offensive or potentially even arriving at physical violence.
This is the kind of person you can't just talk to about their actions or personal issues. This is the kind of person whose ego and way of thinking forces what they see to be fed through the narrow tube that is their personal and worldview, which suits Dash to a T. They refuse to let themselves comprehend that there's something other than the way they choose to see things, and will not believe you if you tell them otherwise. They have to be SHOWN. That's the sort of person whose eyes must be opened in a way that fits in with how they perceive the world and events within it. And believe me, you can't hold their hand through it in the slightest, there is no nice way to go about it if you want to get through to them and make a lasting impression of what they need to see.
So what did Twilight come up with in the end? The proper way to handle the situation. By showing Dash that she's gone too far. Even if through deception, showing her that she's not the best there is (extremely dangerous thinking, for people around that person, and for the person themselves - both in danger to health, and the stagnation of that person's growth) and that she cannot hog all the praise and glory to herself. This was even explored at the Academy when we meet Lightning Dust, who is EXACTLY what Rainbow Dash would have turned into if Mare-Do-Well had never happened. They had to jar Rainbow Dash out of the little bubble of her own personal reality and show her the world is big, and that her actions can affect it negatively, but to do that they had to show her that she was not the end-all be-all, in which case she would only worry more about herself and how she feels (in relation to fame and praise) rather than those around her.
This is compounded when, yes, she begins to become a danger to Ponyville, where other ponies very well might have lost their lives due to her showboating. Now, that would have solved the problem - Rainbow Dash would realize that the way she was becoming was absolutely unacceptable, but then we'd have a bunch of dead people and even if she wasn't run out of town the guilt and depression would have torn her apart, friends or no friends. I also have experience in dealing with loss, and those who've caused death either accidentally or by way of self-defense. I can tell you that it is not pretty, by any stretch of the imagination, to see what it does to someone. Creating a whole new problem, the exact opposite end of the "I'm not going to listen to you" spectrum. Instead of refusing to listen and being a potentially dangerous braggart and show-off who left behind her friends and equinity for people chanting her name instead, she'd refuse to listen due to her self-degrading inner monologue and depressed emptiness, believing she deserved unnecessary hardship thanks to those who did not survive due to her arrogance.
Back on to Mare-Do-Well, the execution was flawless. They mystified her, kept her guessing, their switching in and out was seamless, and they played on the weaknesses that Rainbow considered strengths - her ego, her desire for unhealthy amounts of adulation, which, from a psychological standpoint is actually not so different from a mind-altering drug, and too much can be akin to abusing same-said drug. There were some issues with the overall episode itself, but it's hard to try and get a complex and realistic lesson like this through a mostly visual medium played for entertainment and meant for small children over the course of about twenty-two minutes, when it can take YEARS of therapy and reconstructive psychiatric sessions to move someone past such issues as Dash canonically possesses, and the implied issues of low self-confidence and such behind the very obvious mask she wears (Rainboom episode), which leads to this sort of prideful imbalance kick she was on in the MDW episode to begin with.
I cannot stress enough how trying to talk it out with her would not have worked. Even an intervention would have at most made her angry and required restraint by Twilight's magic to get her to not fly out and blame them. In the unlikely event she did listen, it would not have lasted very long, with the siren call of fame eating away at her already relatively weak and further weakened willpower and self-control. They showed Rainbow Dash her faults the best way they could, and in truth it was just plain the best way.
Most people who complain about how Rainbow Dash and MDW themselves were handled either lack experience and knowledge on the subject, tend to be Dashie-waifu cultists (I've gotten several death threats from these), or simply people who either refuse to or lack the ability to see more than what is put in front of them, taking everything in at face value - yet managing to add in their own feelings to the end of that, as Dash is obviously not bothered once she finds out her friends ended up teaching her a much-needed lesson. It has been very trying, attempting to show people this far more reasonable point of view, especially since they (like Dash) don't want their viewpoint changed. They want to believe the other girls were jealous or mean or spiteful, when that simply wasn't true - they love Rainbow Dash and wanted her to be better than she was being.
And with that, I return you to your Raridash, please no further issues on episodes such as Mare-Do-Well or Filli Vanilli or Bats. I would like to take a break from repeating the same psychoanalysis and application of personal experience and learned information to these specific episodes. Back to the story!
Hm... and this is the part of relationships a lot of people get wrong. They don't know how to stop seeing things from their perspective and start seeing them from their partners... to understand what the other person is feeling... because no matter how illogical or silly it may be, those fears are still so very real for them.
5744003
I don't care for mare-do-well that much but I will say it was the right lesson but the approach was wrong, and honestly the fact that they never even tried to talk to her is still a sore point
Wondeful oneshot. The dynamic between the too was very believable.
It was a heartwarming d'aaaaw story, but I have to wonder what it was, that caused RD to act like she did in the second chapter. Why did she suddenly decide to show Rarity her sanctum above the clouds? In the end it was Rarity who used the experience to restore harmony between them.
So, narratively I see a little plothole there. Aside from that, that was one of the better ships in general and also one of the better stories in terms of getting the characters to be believable and deep.
All in all a story I could enjoy very much. Thank you for writing it
I liked this story cause you kept them in character
Can I have my cookie now?
Awww...my feelz...Raridash isn't usually one of my favorite ships (not that I despise it, or anything like that) but I really liked the way it was shown in this story.
I could totally imagine them having a relationship like this, especially their fears. The characters were really believable.
And it was just shown in such a cute way...
Good job!
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
5742312 You hit the nail on the head! And glad you enjoyed it.
5739023 Well I mean, most of my story ideas aren't exactly the most original either.
I prefer to use said ideas and expand on them how I see fit, most of the time leading to expanded looks on the characters. I love, love adding depth to characters, its one of my favorite things to write about, and will probably never get old for me. 
5739418 Hmm... must have confused the two somewhere. Thanks for pointing it out, I'll make sure to change it
5740642 Just a coincidence I guess?
Glad you liked it!
5742789 Well, I suppose I put you up to speed now?
5744039 At the same token, I wish I had other author's writing skills. I still consider myself work in progress, and probably will always. But I'm always trying to improve.
5744298 Agreed. When you think about it, the entire story's plot was the result of a slight hiccup Rarity showed towards Dash, who took it to heart, because it touched on one of her most personal nerves. The last two stories of mine were about what you mentioned, and I always make sure that their fears don't just seem like insignificant things, but rather things that dig much deeper below the surface.
5745599 My idea there was that Dash was both getting in a bit of payback by exposing one of Rarity's fears (flight), while also apologizing to her and helping her overcome it. What Dash was doing essentially what she wanted somebody to do for her, which is what happened when Rarity helped out Dash in the end.
And I'm happy you liked it so much!
5746258 Because you asked so nicely. *gives cookie*
5746714 I try! And thanks a bunch!
5747558 ARRGH!
5748268 Glad to hear! I was curious if I did enough in the first chapter or not in terms of explaining the situation out. I actually edited that quite a bit, because initially it was a bit abrupt.
5751625
Why? Why do you have to make me ship it? The story's too cute not to anyway.
