• Member Since 21st May, 2012
  • offline last seen 12 minutes ago

Kodeake


I read. I write. I edit. I Twidash. But above all else, I'm just a regular guy. Shoot me a PM if you have a question.

E
Source

Rainbow Dash asked Twilight Sparkle out on a date. On the first of April.

When one pony plays a prank, and the other lays out their heart for all to see, disaster is bound to follow. A prank is by definition dishonest, but you don't need to lie to pull a prank.

I hate doing descriptions...
Happy April Fool's day! I felt guilty for not doing a Valentines day special so you get a special for a minor holiday instead!

Cover art generously provided by the wonderful Angelic Flight over on DA. Go check her out!

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 101 )

All aboard the 'feels' express.

Cute TwiDash :rainbowkiss::heart::twilightsmile:

I love it :pinkiehappy:

Considering this was written in the span of a day and edited until past midnight, you did a bang-up job here. You're writing's been improving, and it shows here.

A fluffy little story that lessens the turmoil that is April Fool's Day on the internet.

That was a very nice one :twilightsmile: The anticipation for the big bang when Twi learned the truth was strong in this one. Fluffy ending was fluffy. I liked :rainbowkiss:

3 words I LOVED IT.:twilightsmile:

One hour of planning, and you got this????

You sir, deserve a gold star!

Comment posted by blank check deleted Apr 1st, 2014

4169035
*Points at E rating*

Wow, first comment I've had to go and delete myself. It's like a milestone.

4169058

Soary. It's a nice story.

You could practically hear Rainbow Dash's heart break in this one, then soar again by the end. Absolutely beautiful. :twilightsmile:

4169058 I hope that's an April Fools Joke, I rather you not be making a milestone out of deleting a comment

4170864
His original comment was highly NSFW, and as this is an E rated story, I felt obligated to remove it. The milestone thing was a joke.

“I'm not acting,” she said dangerously. “Dashie's had a rush on you for a long time...
I believe that you meant crush, aside from the few grammar errors, one of my favourite one-shot romance out there, if not my absolute favourite. I will be checking out your other fics.

Yay! So cute and ... and stuff. I personally would've ended it around "let's go on a date, how about now?" but your ending works too. :twilightsmile::rainbowwild:

Reading this... just can make one stop and think... but in the end, there is feels.
You sir, do deserve a good rating for this story indeed. :pinkiesad2:

t's a fluff one-shot that has no point other than to be fluffy

this fluffy gave me the warm fuzzies.
[youtube=KwxuMMlAbAQ]

Kinda like this... at first it was kinda dumb, but then I was all :fluttercry::heart:
(The Video, not the story. The story was good. At first I was like "Dis gon' be good", but then I figured out what was happening and I was all "...but mah feels....</3". Wish there was a little bit of dialogue near the end, but it wasn't really necessary, so it was alright.)

Well, let's see.

The good: This fic came out on the right day (says the man whose valentine's day fic still isn't done... so lazy :raritycry: ), and April Fool's Day stories are a pretty limited genre, so... that's a good thing, very exploitable story hook.

The bad: The biggest problem this story has is that it doesn't really sell its premise. Yes, it goes through the motions, but it just... doesn't do it justice. The soaring highs and plummeting lows just... aren't there enough. It needed to be more intense, and Twilight's revelation needed to be better. Likewise Rainbow Dash having her heart ripped out could have been done better. Finally, the story felt like it went on longer than it needed to... them getting together was the ending, but it kept going on through the walk, which wasn't anything terribly interesting.

Overall, good concept but the execution was lacking.

4171845
Yes, everything in the story was a bit... lacking. The emotions were smoothed out to a middle-ground that didn't do the scenes justice and it can be argued most things were under exaggerated. This fic was devised and written in a total time of about three hours. While I'm well aware that is no excuse, it is an explanation. I made the choice to have everything a bit less so that it could be released on time and be a bit shorter than something like this should have been. If I were to go back and rewrite it as a non-holiday special, I'd most likely split it up into two chapters, each about 4 thousand words. However, since it was a holiday special whose only purpose was the fluffy payout at the end, I didn't do that.

As for the walk at the end overstaying the fics welcome... that part was written for me personally. Not only was it to help me practice some aspects of writing I find myself lacking, but also because it's something I personally enjoy doing at night.

I did not expect this fic to go anywhere, so I allowed myself to sacrifice some things to have it released on time.

However, I can't help but feel that if the only good things you can see in this fic are the release date and the holiday I chose, neither of which involve my writing at all, then you're being a bit too hard on something that was written for some mindless fluff and nothing else. Or maybe there's nothing good about it outside of the holiday and I think my writing is better than it actually is.

wow, that's a hell of a hook for a description. Will totally read this in a bit. But dang, nice hook!

Dashie's had a rush on you for a long time.

Crush not rush.
Great story. That is all.:twilightsmile:

damn. well this was sad. nice ending though. lovely. I shed a tear at the Pinkie Pie scene.

I have read my share of the more known, and some say popular Twidash stories, but this is quite possibly the best and most plausible TwiDash I read in years.

Just gotta say, this needs a feature. You still gotta clean up a few typos and stuff since you were writing pretty fast to notice, but you got stuff like ON over ONE and RUSH when you meant CRUSH and just minor issues that a quick proofreader can help ya clean up if you sent it over to The Proodreader Group. I'd HIGHLY suggest sending this in to EQD. Then get this onto EQD for the world to gush over. Those Twidashers over there are gonna love this.

Featured, nice. That was awesome, especially since... y'know... TwiDash.

4171972
Well, let's not forget this is the Titanium Dragon we're talking about here, a terrible fiend known as a downvote tax on those he follows.

Seriously, there are people who have said they don't want me reading their stuff because I downvote so often. :pinkiesad2:

Anyway, long story short, just because I'm critical doesn't mean that the story is awful, and it had a solid enough premise for me to read it instead of just shrugging and not.

The underlying idea behind the story is good: I don't see many April Fool's Day stories which are ACTUALLY about April Fool's Day, and the idea of using April Fool's Day as a potential means to play something you were seriously proposing off as a prank is a good one, as is the idea of one character trying to take advantage of it for this reason, and the other character thinking it is a prank. It is a solid way to set the characters up in an unusual situation where conflict is inevitable, as one character seeks to penetrate the "prank" while the other character doesn't realize that they didn't think their plan all the way through.

So the underlying basis of the story is good; Rainbow Dash asking Twilight out on a date, Twilight thinking it is a prank, Rainbow Dash not realizing that her backup method has backfired in her face.

The problem did not lay in the overall skeleton of the story, either; Rainbow Dash asking out Twilight, Twilight accepting thinking it is a prank and trying to "win" the prank, Twilight feeling like she is "falling behind" as Rainbow Dash shows up in extremely good condition and Twilight didn't push it far enough, them going on the date, Rainbow Dash giving Twilight a kiss, and the whole thing falling down, Twilight figuring out it was a prank after conferring with Pinkie Pie, and then them getting together for real at the end.

This is a solid architecture.

I just objected to the execution.

I do understand why you did what you did - you need to put the story out today, because, well, it is an April Fool's Day story. I'm going to look pretty silly when my Hearts and Hooves day story comes out in mid-April, and it isn't going to get the traffic it would have gotten two months ago.

Doesn't mean I'm going to be nice, though. I'm a terrible monster like that. :raritywink:

Comment posted by Relative Distance deleted Apr 2nd, 2014

4172656

Doesn't mean I'm going to be nice, though. I'm a terrible monster like that. :raritywink:

I can vouch for this :derpytongue2:

Love/hate ya Titty Drag.

It was okay for a story built around an unrealistic premise. What kind of idiot asks for a date on April 1st? There are 365 some days in a year, and RD chose the worst one possible.

Not bad, but was Twilight really in the wrong for believing it was a prank? I mean, it is Rainbow Dash after all. And asking her on April Fool's day? That was a recipe for disaster if I've ever seen one.

That aside, cool story bro.

4172656
Its the internet; I never expect nice.

That being said, while wanting to upload it one time explains things, as I said, I also said it does not excuse them. I may one day come back here and fix this story, do it right, but... I'm still in a competition, and I have to set my priorities, and a holiday special I put a couple hours into does not rank high on that list.

4172996
Or the best. In the story it is explained how she would use the holiday as an excuse to spare them both the awkwardness should she get rejected.

For a story that you wrote in less than 24 hours it's very good. The concept is solid(though a tad cliche) the writing and grammer are excellent, the pacing was just right for me to read it thoroughly without skipping paragraphs, and the dialogue mathces eachcharacter quite well.

An excellent story!

But... ' expriosson'

You should always take a moment to check what you've written.

Despite being a fluffy one-shot, it is adorable. A very good TwiDash ship. That is definitely something Twilight would end up doing with the overthinking.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=LCqYRvs8Ol8]
Made me think of this video. (Sorry if the video is just a link for some of you, I don't know what's up with my computer)

4174641
That video gave me diabetes when I first saw it.

Beautiful. Adorably cute and had me completely absorbed, not written hastily nor overstating its welcome... I love this story, I really do :) And I must now confess my love to you for having written it... H-hah!, April third... ;)

Zir

FEEELS!

Ah, that was just the Twidash I needed. Good stuff, thanks man!

Good, simple, fluffy cuteness. Just the cure for the day I've had! :twilightsmile:

This story has so much fluff, it'd make Fluffle Puff jealous :twilightblush::heart::rainbowkiss:

See guys, this is how you do a light-hearted fanfic. No need to add over-the-top crap, just a simple story with a good ending. It's nice to have stories like these every once and awhile.:pinkiesad2:

4173097

I can't say I disagree with any points made throughout this comment chain, though this story certainly hasn't earned my dislike - I don't like to downvote, and basically reserve that for troll stories, stories with excessively bad grammar, spelling, etc. - it have to admit it hasn't quite earned a like from me, either. In this case, I did find the grammar to be somewhat distracting, and the pacing was a little off. I'd agree that the ending could go. I also understand deadlines; you recognized its weaknesses, and intentionally compromised. And it was clearly the right strategy; you ended up Featured, even if a few of us are picky about these things.

That said, I don't want this review to come off as negative - I did, mostly, enjoy the fic, and would be apt to throw a like at it if it was cleaned up a bit, even without rewrites to improve pacing. I'd probably end up faving it if your rewrite scenario came true, and I hope it happens, as I like the concepts and the characterizations, and think the story has a lot of potential. I used to read fics and never comment on them. Having put a few (badfics, nowhere near the level of this one) up here, now, I get why I shouldn't do that.

A twist would be that Twilight acting hurt is actually her April Fool's prank on Dash.

While TwiDash isn't my favorite ship, I still think this was well done.

Hidden ending:

Twilight took a breath, before grinning. “Rainbow Dash, would you like to go on a date with me?”
“W-what?” Rainbow gasped, staring in shock. “Y-you want to go out with me? Not as a joke?”
“Yes, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight answered with a gentle smile. “I would like to go out with you.”

"But first I have to say...April Fools!"

I wouldn't call April Fool's a "minor holiday". :ajbemused:
It's getting bigger and more annoying every year. :rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!