• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 12th, 2023

Polaris501


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A thousand years ago, Princess Celestia banished her sister to the moon, that much we know. What wasn’t known, and what Celestia kept secret was that before her banishment, Luna had given birth to a foal. Now a thousand years later, as Nightmare returns to Equestria to bring about Eternal Night.

Twilight Sparkle, protege of Princess Celestia, struggles against the tyranny of this ancient foe. But how will she be able to save herself and her friends when the truth of this ancient legend crashes down upon her? Twilight will have to confront herself...and her heritage.

Polaris501

Chapters (27)
Comments ( 1982 )

This sounds awesome, much like Inner Demons! I'll keep an eye on this one!

This sounds like it'll be good. DON'T SCREW THIS UP! It's the first decently written 'Luna as Twilight's mother' fic I've seen.

dude, awersome start, the story is pretty solid, waiting for an update and minor grammar errors such as "Her winds(wings) matched her coat, gently tucked at her side. A small and stubby horn poked out from beneath the mane. She was gently sleeping." i suppose that you mean wings.

:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

keep it up!!!

You had me hooked from the very beginning. I went to click the next button for another chapter because it's so good that I then realized you just wrote it.

4014010 Thanks for catching that. I do proofread, but everyone (every pony) makes mistakes sometimes. I'll go through and fix that.

I'm liking it so far! Keep up the good work!

I look forward to reading the rest of this story. You earned a fave!

i expect great tings on this INSTANT FAV:pinkiesmile:

Why do I get the feeling that when Twilight learns the truth it will be something like this:

Anyways, this story is looking epic and I cannot wait to see what happens next.

Are you gonna make flashbacks to Twilight's childhood, where she saw signs of her alicornhood, but was young at the time to realize the truth.

4015466 I hadn't thought of that, but that is an excellent idea. Would you mind if I incorporated your idea?

4015472
on one condition, you have to read the story I am currently writing.

4015482 \
Don't mention it. I'm just starting out as a writer myself. In fact, your already more popular than me, and you've had an account for much less time than I have.

This is actually my second story. The first is probably not as good as Heir of the Nightmare, I hope to do better with this one. Though I don't intend to abandon it either.

the word awesome and epic can not do it justice of the story that is this one:ajsmug:

it is good i cant wait for the next chapter:twilightsmile:

Ehhhhh. It seems just like another "Luna is twilights mother" fic to be honest. I'm not too sure how you're going to separate it from the rest.

I look forward to what comes next :)

This looks like it's gonna be awsome, definitely following this.

You've drawn more out of my curiosity. Do go on :D

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:Very:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:Very:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i like of how clestia forgot that twilight was her dater in this story:rainbowhuh:and sorry for typos in this comment:twilightblush:

Can you link me the picture? :twilightoops:

She couldn’t breathe, there was no air for her lungs to take in and so they scrunched in agonizing contractions, desperate for anything to fill them.

Either the author isn't aware of the power of the vacuum of space, or Luna has and incredibly powerful diaphragm and super-strong lung tissue. A human wouldn't be able to even attempt at breathing in space, because their lungs would have been stuck shut, and the heart wouldn't have enough strength to pump blood to the diaphragm anyway.

Actually, reading the rest of Luna's suffering because of the void of space, it becomes apparent that normal laws of physics and her physiology behave entirely different here than in our reality. So I'll stop complaining.

Pain beyond anything she had experienced blossomed at the contact of the beam, it burned through her torque and branded her skin with its searing anger.

Torque is a rotational force, while a torc is the kind of armor that Celestia wears.

As for my comments on the actual story here... This is definitely alternate universe! I eagerly await the rest.

4020022 Thank you for your observations. I was trying to use language that put more emphasis on the pain that Luna was experiencing, that way readers not scientifically inclined could understand better. Plus, if we observe canon in the show, their law of physics are definitely different from ours, look no further than how pegasi control the weather and the sun and moon rotate around the "earth". On the torque/torc, thanks for that, I'll fix that right up. Now that you mention it, I do remember what torque actually is from a previous science course (stupid homophones). Thanks for your observations and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.:twilightsmile:

Millennia is plural, millennium is singular. :twilightsmile:

4020271 Thanks for catching that. Millennia just sounded cooler, I'll make note of that for future chapters though in addition to editing this one, thanks.

4020316 Not a problem. It wouldn't hurt to find someone to proofread this for you; there are other typos lurking too, and there's a few things that could stand to be reworded. :twistnerd:

(I do not own the title picture.

Yet you didn't bother to take the time to give the artist credit by providing a source?

Edit: downvoters can go fuck themselves. Nothing wrong with getting people to provide sources where possible.

4030362 I didn't mention an artist since it is unknown, I found it on fimfiction.net. Since no artist was credited I didn't put one in, but I'll clarify that. :facehoof:

Comment posted by Polaris501 deleted Mar 4th, 2014

4030846 Thanks, I'll post that as the source.

I'm excited. I haven't been excited in awhile. Thank you

WE REQUIRE MORE:flutterrage: *cough*.... please

You did a good job here.

Prefect ending and fuck you and this cliffhanger :flutterrage:

I loved the chapter I hope you keep em coming.

need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar!need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar! need moar!,....... just saying :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::heart::heart::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

This chapter was a bit... well, not as interesting as the others. That has more to do with it being a recap of the first two episodes, though, and I guess that's a necessary evil if a retelling of the first couple of episodes is absolutely necessary for the story. The quality of the writing itself has been pretty consistent.

Not willing to take any chances, Nightmare quickly dissolved into her purple mist and teleports her way back in front of the mare, materializing and breaking the unicorn’s concentration.

Fix your tenses. Should be teleport, not teleports.

“No!!No!!”

Should be "No! No!" Gotta have a space there and redundant exclamation points are redundant.

She could barely heard the sounds of the other five mares approaching.

She could barely hear the sounds of the other five mares approaching.

“But it did, a different kind of spark! I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you, the spark ignited inside me, when I realized that you all, are my friends!”

How happy I was to hear you. Missed the "to".

“You see Nightmare Moon, when those elements are ignited by the…the spark that resides in the heart of us all. It creates the sixth element, the element of magic!”

What's that period doing there? Should be "...the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element, the Element of Magic!"

Hope you don't mind my proofreading for you. ;)

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