• Member Since 16th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 30th, 2017

Nadake


T

Orphaned from birth, with only the memories of a soft touch and gentle voice to remember her by, Twilight yearns for her mother. What pony wouldn't want to know why they were abandoned, why they were left to be found by the Princess of the Sun herself.

That was nearly two decades ago though. Twilight was older now, and hopefully wiser. She is happy with her two best friends, Cadance and Shining Armor. They are like family to her, the brother and sister she never could have. Though dreams still haunt the young mare, dreams of lullabies and tender kisses, she has moved on.

The personal servant to the Princess of Helios, the land of the Sun, Twilight enjoyed both rank, and knowledge. But it also means that when Princess Luna comes to visit her old friend, Twilight is given the task of tending her. The Princess has come in search of marriage, at the behest of her ruling Council. They demand an heir to ward off the potentially catastrophic attacks of the neighboring dragons.

Soon, Twilight will be tested and tried. She will be given the a choice between the life she has known, and the duty she is sworn to. But never, not once, will she forget.

For who can stop loving their mother.

Chapters (23)
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Comments ( 1134 )

A wonderful start to what looks like a good story. I am more than excited to see where it is going to go.

Amazing start! I can't wait to see how this plays out. :pinkiehappy:

Did you Shining Armor?/i]”

You missed a part of he bracket here, itialisizing the rest of the chapter.

Orphans? Now that just blows... :trixieshiftleft: But good story.

this is a concept i haven't really seen before...and one I'm quite eager to explore! The opening chapter is captivating and gives a good outline of a lot of the differences in this alternate universe. looking forward to more!

Your alternate universes are intriguing. I hope either this or Hunting Rainbows gets a second chapter soon.

1208512

Thank you, fixed it.

1208689

I would... BUT YOU KEEP FLASHING YOUR PLOT!!! :flutterrage:

1208628

What concept are you talking about?

:yay: i've been waiting for something like this.
And it was executed well, can't wait for the next chapter.

Liking this story so far. :pinkiehappy:

Potential story. I like it.

This alternate universe...very intriguing. I'll be tracking this! :twilightsmile:

Very very intriguing, Fav'd. :twilightblush:

Quick question, how old is Twilight in this chapter?

I haven't seen much like this around here, its definitely a different taste. The environment is well detailed giving just enough for the imagination to form the look, but vague enough that it doesn't ruin the majestic feel. I'd love to see more from you at some point. :ajsmug:

Okay, the orphan part seemed intriguing, but the rest of this is just too confusing. The Heart? Selene? Huh? There's just so much... well, SAID, but not explained, that I just don't have any interest. I mean, there's making someone curious, and then there's complete and utter info-dumping that doesn't make sense. (Just my opinion. I'll give it a thumbs up because there's nothing REALLY wrong with HOW it was written. Just... WHAT was written, if that makes any sense.)

1209930

Seems like standard fair for a lot of fantasy novels. You are thrown into the world, terminology that has no meaning to you is thrown around.

After about 10-15 chapters in, you pick everything up through context. Or not sometimes. Depends on the writer.

The story has me intrigued so far. Intrigued enough to keep reading. At least until the hook that the synopsis tells us is going to happen drops. Depends on what it is if my interest shall stay piqued.

Good first chapter... no large spell or grammar mistakes I saw. But I am reading this at 01:30 so that may have hurt my mental abilities.

Tracking and upvoted!

Why is Cadence a unicorn? And why is Luna not described as Celestia's sister? I'm intrigued to see what happened to her and why she is now NMM; although I'm guessing Celestia resolved the crisis by giving Luna her own country to rule. Weird how Shining Armour isn't her actual brother; perhaps they don't realise they're blood-related? Also strange that Twilight is Celestia's hoofmaiden, rather than her personal student; or does Celestia also treat her as a student while she works in her official capacity as hoofmaiden? Intriguing anyway.

Also, fuck Blueblood.

alright, in order.
Twilight is an orphan? She is only Celestia's handmaiden, not her personal student?, The Heart? Helios? I am guessing the miniature pink whirlwind is Pinkie, Twilight and Shining are merely friends, not really sister and brother? Luna and Celestia aren't sisters? Selene?
ALL OF IT!!!
i9.photobucket.com/albums/a60/OrthodoxPagan/GIFs/dalekexplain.gif

Interesting, all you need to know so far is explained in the text.(alternate universe so things are different and it doesnt need to be just some minor things, keep that in mind) I really hope there will be more of this soon :pinkiehappy:

Seeing how its slice of life i wont expect the war to come to Helios, so it will be Twilight interacting Celestia, Luna and the others. YAY :pinkiehappy:


You need to read carefully not thinking "OMG I DONT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON"


Also Selene was supposed to be Lunas name but some copyright reason Hasbro couldnt use it :rainbowlaugh:

"I asked Lauren Faust about it, and she said that Luna's name was Selena for a while, but there was some kind of legal issue, so they changed it.
When I first got the storybook, I checked Wikipedia, and Selene was the goddess of the moon in Greek Mythology, but the Romans called her Luna, so it all fits."

1209930
Different strokes for different folks. This feels like something that really, really wants more chapters. [/hint]
Tastes like a nice, long fic that doesn't use many of our common tropes. It also seems like a very well-developed world with lots of backstory for me to infer. Color me interested!

MINDBLOWN. Seriously, the summary alone just floored me. If I didn't have work in 8 hours... Gotta go to bed. This is NOT going in my "Read Later"... It's going in my favourites. ALL ABOARD, EVERYBRONY! It's gonna be a buuuumpy ride!

Hey. was that Chef Ram-sey from "The Royal Diet" fic?

Now this is interesting. Do continue.

Analysis: Huh, total reboot... :trixieshiftright:
Reads like a good fantasy novel, excellent setting, familiar yet different characters... :trixieshiftleft:

Verdict: AWESOME. :rainbowdetermined2: eagerly awaiting next chapter. :twilightsmile:

1208238 It worries me how much this applied to what I did...

picture source?

1209887

Well, skipping over the uncounted 4chan boards on how to determine their ages, she basically the pony equivalent to somewhere between 16-20.

1210459

Yeah, kind of what gave me the idea. I suck at naming thing Pony fashion (I mean, I named a sheep The Colonel...). And Selene and Helios, Greecian for Moon and Sun. Kind of prepackaged.:rainbowlaugh:

1210721

Umm, until someone nails me for borderline copy write infringement, more or less. Some ideas are just too good to pass over.

1208238 fuck you i hate first posters i got banned for a week for first posting:twilightangry2:

Very interesting, and wonderfully well written. Your descriptions and capturing of emotions are great. Favorited and watched, keep up the good work!:pinkiehappy:

1211360

Mourning Star. Is an awesome name.

BTW, does Celestia know the Doctors name? SHe knows everything else. Even the Daleks don't know who he is anymore. Season 7, ep 1, soooooooon cool.

1211500

STOP SPOILING THINGS IM ABOUT TO WATCH :flutterrage:

kidding, i will watch it soon tho and Celestia doesnt know all, she knows a lot though and likes to stalk him i guess *looks at his profile pic*. Guess why she isnt the virgin queen no more. :rainbowlaugh:

Rare are even gods who know the Doctors true name, after all he fought even demons and gods themselves. :pinkiehappy:

1211508

But that implies, in this big grand scheme of gods and devils, that she's just a victim. Well, I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods. I've had the whole pantheon. But if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her!

1211517

Celestia as the Docs companion hmmm, well shes immortal or so we assume and he can live a long time, no reason for them to separate then for quiet a while. Until the Doc puts her in to big of a danger, and she cant really leave.

Its like the Doc taking Queen Victoria as his companion, she would be missed to much. :twilightoops:

Oh, oh in a second! But then again... That's so human. Where angels fear to tread... Even now, standing on the edge, it's that feeling you get, yea? Right at the back of your head. That impulse... That strange little impulse... That mad little voice saying, "Go on! Go on! Go on!... Go over! Go on!..." Maybe it's relying on that... For once in my life, Officer Scott, I'm going to say... retreat. Ugh, now I know I'm getting old.

I can't wait for future chapters:twilightsmile::twilightsmile:
PS I think the part with Cadence was sooooooo funny:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

1211581

Hmm, no, because Twilight would find him. And not be happy about him taking her Princess away.

Biting's excellent. It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.

She most certainly wouldn't be happy about it, but im not sure because she would be jealous of the doctor or celestia, or both. :twilightangry2:
And are we having a Doctor Who quote "battle" in a totally unrelated story? :rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh:

(Fourth Doctor, so didnt actually watch but still like the quotes)
You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: they don't alter their views to fit the facts; they alter the facts to fit their views.

Or if it needs to be one i watched here:
“There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."

1210721 Then this is the third fic to use that. the other being night's favored child. if i recall.

1212185

Well, I don't see why not? And as long as she had Celestia, or some way to contact her regularly, I doubt Twilight would break into the Tardis.

House: Fear me, I've killed hundreds of time lords!

Doctor: FEAR ME! I killed all of them.

I'm liking it so far.

I hope the story is as good as the battle of Doctor Who quotes!
:twilightsmile:

Well this is interesting to say the least, there seems to be quite some bigotry towards selene if I can assume Luna being the princess there would make it.... not exactly darker but if she more of... "had her citizens embrace the night". I don't think I explained this very well but if Luna rules Selene like Celestia rules Helios, she'll most likely try to embellish her night to make it seems welcoming. Unless of course twilight is the only one afraid of the dark.

But if she isn't that could lead to trouble if Selene goes to war, we don't even know who's receiving the fight for now, and if Helios and Selene do work together, they might have a breakdown of communication or such if I am right about the slight bigotry towards the darkness.

1209930

And the start of the show is not like that?

1214836 What my complaint is, for the most part, is that the description does not do an adequate job in explaining just how... DIFFERENT this universe is. It CLAIMS that the ONLY difference is that Twi and Shining are orphans, but there's new cities, names, Luna is freed, new countries, etc. The description did not do its job properly. (IMO, anyway.)

1214867

That is not a discriptions job. It is just suppose to tell enough about the story to make people want to read it. Telling about the new world is the story's job.

Well, you've certainly got me intrigued. Especially if I'm interpreting the title correctly...

Definitely looking forward to more.

a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/427640_326897824023938_261343220579399_916751_99779730_n.jpg
LOL I DON'T KNOW!!!! But I loved this story, I hope to great things from this one!! :moustache: :yay:

Looks interesting.
Part of the description bothers me, war brewing, not with the dragons or pegasi, but with ponies. Aren't Pegasi ponies as well?

There are a few typos and you need to indent your paragraphs. Other than that, very good and very promising so far.

1215939

Well, that's what I get for typing the description at 1:40 in the morning. Thanks and fixed

You certainly have my attention. I am a vivid reader of fantasy novels myself, so all of the random names and whatnot are not as confusing for me-- I know that within the next few chapters more and more will be explained. That is always how it plays out, unless you are a poor author. And, looking over your other works, I'd say you are anything BUT a poor author. I will certainly keep an eye on this story, and will probably start reading some of your other works too, to give me a small idea of what to expect.

Eagerly awaiting more.

EDIT: The only real issue I have is that you used "Cadence" instead of Cadance. I know that's just kind of my personal preference, so don't let it trouble you too much. I just like Cadance better.

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