"He truly loved her and knew she loved him just as much. The dragon gulped deeply as a fluttering sensation occupied his stomach. He didn't just love Twilight as a friend."
After finally giving up on Rarity, Spike realizes that the true mare of his dreams has been in his company for a lifetime, but is unsure if Twilight would ever consider him as more than a great friend and assistant. The only way he can find out is ask.
*Featured 2/20/2014, Thank you all so much!*
Cover Art: Hey,.. real' quick, before the intro starts.. by Frist44
Special thanks to all the readers who pointed out grammar and spelling errors. You're great proofreaders!
Finally finished reading this fic! Its really sweet one, doesn't have many mistakes, the only one I found is in chapter 1:
I'm pretty sure there should be "put" instead of "but".
You managed to get the character personalities right, Spike is anxious and emotional (maybe a little too much near the end, too much tears) and Twilight is her bookworm self (Especially in last chapter which is good!).
Only one thing doesn't sit well with me and that's how Spike jumped from love for Rarity to love for Twilight... a little too sudden, he didn't spare time to think it over, he simply decided that he loves her a little too quick as if he was replacing Rarity with her...the romance is a little chaotic.
Overall scores:
Story 8/10
Emotions: 8/10
Pacing: 9/10
This said, you earned a like and fav and not only because its Spilight fic!
Good job
3972440
Thanks for the review and pointing out that error! I appreciate it! I honestly really do love it when people explain why they liked or disliked one of my stories instead of that was good or that was horrible!
cute :-)
3972454 No need to thank me! We both are writers after all so I can relate when it comes to receiving a long review.
I really hope to see the mentioned "sequel" in your blog post... just... don't make Spike and Twi professionals at doing "this and that", they are both inexperienced after all but most writers seem to forget it...especially when clop follows romance fic where both are awkward about simple kiss.
3972513
Oh I know hehe
Also, FIRST!!!
dw'aaaaaa so cute!
Who want to help me slowly murder the readers who disliked this story?
>I’ll dry,” Twiligh
Lose the indent and add the quotation mark.
This has earned a like and a fav from me, I love the pacing of this. The emotions portrayed and the story was good too. I'd honestly would love to see a continuation. Great job.
I'll help you
IN THE END, this was great~
Yay! A Spilight ship!
This is why I like Spilight ships; they're so damn cute!
I need a new cuteness scanner! This is the fourth time this thing has broken. Great story. It gets my seal of approval!
so good so far ready to read last chapter
nice fic there aren't very many that have spike and twi so thanks for it good job
Thaaat was a little adorable. Pretty simple, but it was pleasant
More?
Spilight will always be one of my favorite ships. The two are really good together, but only if Spike's aged up/more mature. You did a good job with this, it was a great read.
please, for the love of Celestia, write a sequel!
It seems like it would take a lot longer than a day for me to decide that oh, I’m in love with Spike!
Thank you for that. I read too many fics that have characters simply in love with another the same time they realize they have any feelings for. I appreciate it this even being mentioned
There are a few errors spattered about here. I can't remember them all, but the one that did stick out to me was:
"he still had to content with the alicorn inside"
I think you mean contend.
Spike sighed blissfully as he observed her frowns before she crossed out a section of text and then her smiles after she inscribed the corrected version beneath.
Could use a little expansion IMO -- he would have observed these actions many times before, so it's an opportunity for him to think about what has changed (in, you know, a more nuanced way than 'Oh. Twilight's awesome,')
Efficient? Efficient? Are you sure?
It sounds a lot like you mean satisfactory or adequate, but honestly, I can't be sure.
made me smile like a fool
Caaaan you feel, the loooove tonight? Oh sorry got distracted
Good story, you should make a sequel.
I think you mean "sufficient" and not "efficient"
and Spike new this very well
1. Knew.
For those of you that pointed out grammar errors, thank you! I will fix them when I have the chance. Fimfiction as a whole is a great proofreader when you don't have one
i guess this would be called a spilight
I’ll dry,” (Mentioned by Arby Works as well)
To her right came a soft who as Owlowicious awoke
You bet your scaly tale it is
causing the assistant’s to turn back with an odd look
Spike agreed, following suite by plopping down
1. Forgot your quotation mark as mentioned earlier. Say roughly 12 hours ago
2. Personally, the sound that owls make are known as hoots. But this is just a personal preference.
3. Tail.
4. Her Assistant.
5. Followed Suit. Suite is only used for well... buildings. Or rather the specific rooms of the buildings. High class/Classy suites.
I tend to find Spilight & Discolight very adorable. And yes, the cover image is what brought me here
3974723
Sufficient! Yes, that would be the word. I was thinking adequate!
Yea this was fast paced, sentence structure was good but spelling and grammar mistakes where indeed shown. I will be honest I am highly surprised this made it to the featured list. I am not saying this story sucks or anything, but I was surprised that this appeared there of all places. Still, I still enjoyed this story and even got a pointer or two from it, so thank you, I did enjoy the story, thank you for posting it
3974988
Thanks for all the corrections and as for the who, I used it because if you recall in the first episode with Owlowicious, there were quite a few times when Spike thought he was asking "who?"
'Yes, yes, this is something a true Writer would write.'
Spike is an asshole Nice Guy filled with wonderful Nice Guy resentment for Rarity. This story is a bunch of bland shipfic tripe with a dash of entitled, unexamined sexism added for good measure. It's not even interestingly bad.
3975748 Hey now, play nice, there's no reason to be so harsh. Granted, I agree with the points you bring up, in addition to the dialogue being bland and repetitive and both main characters being fairly OOC.
Still, no need to be an ass, just because you have negative things to say.
Well written Spilight = Instant Fave.
lol i loved it. i want- no i NEED, more! lol you need to do a sequel to show how this all plays out in the end
3975748
No need to be such an ass, I've read some of your work and you're no Shakespeare yourself. Not to say I am, but I'm not the one insulting a story unjustly. It is at the top of the feature box so it must have something redeeming about it.
Geez, so many cynical assholes on this site.
Awesome story, you've earned yourself a follow.
I feel the "thank you" should have one quotation mark, like 'thank you'. I could be wrong, though.
Great stuff so far! Going to check out the last chapter.
Very cute! It was actually a very good length. It told a story that didn't need to go any further. +1
Spike, if you wouldn’t have come back to Ponyville
1. Hadn't.
Basically Wouldn't have is; Would not have and it's very awkward in this kind of sentence.
This story is finished?! Blasphemy I say, blasphemy! I want moar
3976346
It is dialog though. Even though Twilight is very well read, she doesn't necessarily talk like that. No one or no pony does. I just want to make it sound like a real conversation. Thank you for pointing that out though. I've never heard that rule before.
That was... cute.
Spilight isn't my favorite ship but you did a wonderful job with this story and even made me feel a little envious of their special bond.
It was enjoyably sweet.
Spike is triumphant in his conquests of love once again!
you rocked this fic
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