• Member Since 7th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 21st, 2017

Dreamscape


"1/4 hipster, 3/4 kawaii"

T

Twilight has thought of Rainbow Dash as more than a friend for quite some time now. Noticing how affectionate her friend has become towards her as well, she finally works up enough courage to admit these feelings. The only problem is that she and her friends are currently in the Crystal Empire, fully engaged with one of the largest events in Equestria, the Equestria Games. This, of course, presents plenty of obstacles for the princess, along with a problem which could completely ruin her chances and make her attempts utterly useless.

Proofread by: ConEditor (If Con or I missed anything, don't be afraid to point it out. I'll gladly fix it)
Cover Art: True Friends by AeliosZero

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 24 )

while i felt that the whole thing (especially the betrayal/mistake/heartbreak part) resolved themselves way to fast, it was a nice read.

Dialog feels a bit wooden and robotic.
As in your characters may in fact be wooden robots.
As in robots made of wood.
But other than that.
Good shit.

So I know this may seem strange, but baloney is actually spelled bologna. Besides that am enjoying your story thus far

4393818
Thanks, I didn't catch that. I'll fix it

This was a pleasant little story. I'm coincidentally exhausted and might forget ever typing this comment tomorrow morning. Ta-ta!:raritystarry:

Why can't I give it multiple thumbs!?!
Great story, I loved the ending and it was a great idea for the setting.
Keep up the good work man!

I don't like that ship either, no worries! :rainbowkiss:

AWWWW WHYYYYY? darn twilight.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:raritydespair::raritycry:

Comment posted by grunt11795 deleted Aug 11th, 2014

I wanted so bad for Twilight to be angry at Dash. I wanted her to not forgive her right away. It was still good, and it even had a happy ending, but I guess I really just wanted a sad fic.

best ending ever :twilightsmile: :rainbowkiss:

I sudden realization of why she had left them in the first place caused her to freeze in her tracks.

I think it's meant to be 'A' instead of 'I'.

I sudden but gentle touch of a hoof against Twilight’s chin pushed these thoughts away, and her head was raised up so that she gazed directly into her lover’s eyes once more.

'I' should be 'A'.

“Glad you finally made,”

The word 'it' should be present after the word 'made'.

“I got something for you…

'I' should be 'I've'.
That is all. I just quickly reread this before I went to sleep.

Nue

As amazing as this was I feel like twilight let rainbow off way too easily with what happened. I think I was expecting more an argument. But I did like the way dash explained herself and for her actions. Seems very realistic and plausible both for real life and for her actual character

I'm sorry, but I can't finish this. The inconsistencies in these last two chapters are far too jarring.

Chapter five ended with Rainbow ditching Soarin' and purchasing Twilight a book. This act made it fairly clear that she had chosen Twilight over Soarin'. I would have expected Rainbow to seek out Twilight immediately, but I can understand if you really wanted things to take place after the Games. However it starts becoming jarring when she lets Soarin' kiss her. Up to that point it appeared like she was about to explain to him her situation - reconcile things with him before she sought out Twilight. What confused me even more was the fact she chose Soarin', when it had been fairly clear that she'd already reconsidered.

And then there's Twilight's reaction. Sure it is mature of her to accept Rainbow's choice, and one could even say it would be a sign of true love, but it makes no sense. Given all the mixed signals Rainbow had been giving her, there's no way she'd have been able to reconcile things that quickly. She'd simply be too emotional - anyone would be. Now whether she'd be angry is another question (one I would personally answer with a resounding yes), but I simply don't believe she'd be able to move past things that swiftly.

Everything leading up to this was great, if a little short.

It’s definitely going to be busy, but maybe we could, um, hang, during the downtime at the games

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3303_medium.jpg

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/40/41/39/40413903b5efcef12b17ac427388c44b.jpg

Yes, I just did that. Those "Hang in There" cat posters.

No comments? Well, I guess this chapter was pretty uneventful. I'm still enjoying this anyways.

I like it when people don't make Soarin a foalnapper and rapist. When they do, I feel like printing a picture of him and taking my machete to it.

Such adorableness. I-I think I'm gonna-I'm gonna sneeze! Nooooooo! It's too mucb!

Comment posted by Boop-Happy Lass deleted Feb 18th, 2016

The gasp of shock which she then expelled indicated that she hadn’t yet noticed the smiling pink alicorn which stood before her either. “Cadance!” she burst out, rushing forward and wrapping her hooves around the mare’s neck. “What are you doing here in Canterlot? Shouldn’t you be in the Crystal Empire preparing for the games?”

Oh god, you know when Cadence appears in a romance story, she’s gonna play a part in it...

It also helps us realize that our partner’s flaws are complemented by our perfections, and that our flaws are complimented by his or her perfections.

Not sure what happened there but the first time in that sentence you used the correct form of complemented for this statement and then for the second use you switched to the incorrect form of the word. I see the wrong complement/compliment being used a lot in the fics I read but situations like this always confuse me when you showed you clearly know the right one to use and then did it wrong just a moment later. Anyway, I really enjoyed this story on the first read through and the second is proving to be just as good.

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