• Member Since 20th May, 2012
  • offline last seen June 26th

uioui


E
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Luna's moon does nothing to aid Twilight in her sleep, especially when she is too preoccupied with Spike. Journey into the mind of the elemental bearer of magic as we try to decipher her thoughts about her number one assistant. Will a heart break or grow? Will she get sleep?


A (very) Short Story merely written to prevent rusty writing.
Thanks to Swashbucklist and Gigamunch for helping me with some of my mistakes.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 39 )

This story gave me diabetes
in the good way

Thanks guys :D.
I Always love to hear comments. :twilightblush::heart::moustache:

right, so, caught a couple mistakes, like "no matter how crazy she sounded at times, how obsessed with knowledge and knowledge", where I assume you meant to put down knowledge and learning, or some such.

secondly, we have "small but sad smile as thought on the probably of Spike returning her feelings", should be replaced with probability.

thirdly, "his mouth opening and closing very slightly as he snores quietly." you changed tenses here.

fourthly, " She was in love with him(,) yet she took his status as assistant for granted." this isn't really a mistake, but I think a comma belongs in there somewhere.

"if only she tried harder to make herself more beautiful(,) then Spike wouldn’t be fawning" here too.

fifth, "How could the one person who truly took care of her" the hell is a person?

2763904
Thanks for that bud :twilightsmile:

A little diabetes a day keeps the doctor away....well not really.:twilightblush:
Anyway loved it!:pinkiehappy:

2763922 's no problem, just doin' my unofficial training to be an editor.

Riz

2763922
Thank you for this fic. I need a TwiSpike fic

There were a few awkward sentences and strange word choices, but otherwise it was a very sweet oneshot. Been a while since some good Spilight has shown up.

I can pm you some fixes later in the week if you like.

2764304 that would be appreciated:pinkiehappy:

A few errors, but like>>2764329 they was overpowered by the beautiful and touching emotion of this story. :pinkiehappy: Excellent job.

:moustache::heart::twilightsmile:
please sir, can we have more?

2764824 I was planning a longer :twilightsmile::heart::moustache: fanfic but I don't have a lot of time. However if I ever do this will be the prequel.

Simple, good and nice.:pinkiehappy:

Max

I LOVE THIS! YESH! :heart::heart::heart:

short sweet and to the point :twilightsmile:

sweet jesus, my heart :raritydespair:

DA FEELZ

:fluttershbad:

Diabetus in words, simple as that.

I love it!

the dawww is over 9000!!

Yay! Spike always knows just what to say. :moustache:

(His namesake protruding from the blanket that lay to his side, thrown away in his midnight dreams.) Are you talking about his tail? Maybe I am just too dirty minded.

2769500 talking bout his spikes actually:raritywink:

"I have something to tell you..." and end it there.
This is fine too, though.

2769926
K way too many clop fics then... :twilightblush:

(Although all I think about them is that they are hilarious.)

Take all my feelz:heart::heart::heart::heart: Except this one:heart:, I need it for later.

Man, I wonder what'll happen after their kiss on Twi's bed.

Man, you HAVE to write more like this, or a sequel! That was awesome with so much potential!

2881716 I think i know what happens

Riz

2769926

If I may say something the ending somewhat bothers me..
Cuz it seems like a cliffhanger or there's like something more

Gods damn, this was a very impressive read, I bucking loved it, could use a polish or two but it's very well thought of and realistic, I'm following you:twilightsmile:

It's a cute story to say the least........

Simple, cute and portrays very well how Twilight and Spike's relationship is, how they complete each other. Absolutely loved this fic :twilightsmile:

stupid cliffhanger

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