Remind me why we're friends?
Trixie pushed her way to the front of the line. All other students forgotten in her mission to retrieve her goal. A younger girl cut in front of her, sticking out her tongue at her elder. Trixie's eyes widened in horror as she realized the girl was reaching for her prize, the last one of its kind on the shelf. With a defiant yell, she dove past the girl and swiped the little box from her just as her hand picked it up off the shelf. Unfortunately for Trixie, the angle of her jump meant that her face discovered the ground two seconds later.
"Ughh....." she moaned as she lay sprawled out on floor, her arms still tightly wrapped around the object of her affection.
The younger girl stared at her for a second, before shrugging. "Whatever." She grabbed a box of pita bread off the shelf and proceeded to check out, making sure to step on Trixie's hair as she passed by.
Trixie sat up with a victorious laugh, she had conquered. Planting a kiss on the box in her arms, she got up and dusted herself off. Ignoring the stares of the other students, she went to the counter and paid for her box of apple slices, dipping caramel on the side.
As Trixie plopped herself down next to Lightning Dust, her friend took one look at her triumphant grin and her disheveled hair, and rolled her eyes. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to let Diamond Tiara have the apple slices for once." Trixie shot her a glare, but she merely shrugged. "I'm serious. You're making such a big scene over it, it's starting to get embarrassing. I mean, how is it that you always get there just in time for the last box every single day? The math would be like..." she thought for a second, before closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. "Well, I don't know...it's egghead stuff....But it's pretty unlikely!"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie needs her apple slices." Trixie said pompously. Lightning Dust merely snorted. Making a face at her friend, Trixie opened up the box and grabbed the dipping container. Popping it open, she set it on the table and reached for an apple slice. Suddenly she froze, her senses tingling. She carefully picked up the small cup of caramel and inspected it carefully...something was off...the color...the texture...it wasn't quite right. She lifted it up to her nose and took a sniff before wrenching back and falling off the table bench with a shriek.
This wasn't caramel at all! It was...was...peanut butter.
"MY LUNCH HAS BEEN TAINTED!" she screamed in an accusatory tone.
Lightning Dust regarded her with a cool glance. "What are you talking about?"
Trixie pointed at the dipping cup with a trembling hand. "M-my...my c-caramel w-w-was...was...switched w-with PEANUT BUTTER." Alas! To have come so close and yet so far! To be denied her meal at this crucial hour! It was no doubt the petty work of her jealous rival who sought to compromise her lunchtime regimen daily!
Rolling her eyes, Lightning Dust reached down and pulled Trixie back into her seat. "Wake up, numbskull. Don't you remember last Friday's morning announcements?"
Trixie stared at her in amazement. "We have morning announcements?"
Lightning Dust groaned. "Yes, we do. If you weren't so busy listening to your "theme music" on you phone every morning before class, you would notice."
Trixie merely shrugged. "Anyways..." said Lightning Dust. "Due to complaints by parents, they were making adjustments to the school menu to make it healthier. That includes removing the caramel in the apple box and replacing it with peanut butter. Permanently."
Trixie's eye twitched. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" she screamed, grabbing her friend by the front of her shirt. "Tell me this isn't true, tell me it's a dream!!!"
"It's true all right."
"Why????"she wailed. "What did I ever do to deserve this? Of all the things that could have happened this is...THE...WORST...POSSIBLE...THING."
A pincushion flew from across the room and bounced off the side of Trixie's head.
"That's my line!" yelled a purple-haired girl.
Trixie threw herself down upon the table, banging her head in the process. "Oh...woe is me."
"Mhmm.." muttered Lightning Dust. "You know it's not that much of a big deal right?" She reached over, and grabbed a couple of the apple slices, dipped them in peanut butter before popping one in her mouth.
Trixie's head flew up, her eyes brimming with hysterical tears. "Not a big deal? NOT A BIG DEAL?!?!? Peanut butter is a terrible disgusting...nutty...thing! how can it ever compare to the delicate sweetness of caramel?" She sniffled. "Oh, my sweet...sweet caramel. How can you leave me a a time like this?! How I miss your--" She was abruptly cut off by Lightning Dust sticking a peanut butter smothered apple slice in her mouth.
Her face scrunched up as if she was about to spit it out, but with a couple slow chews her expression softened. Her eyes closed, she munched on the bit of apple in her mouth. Swallowing, she beamed at Lightning Dust. "Huh...That's not bad!" She reached for another slice, dipping it in the peanut butter. She popped it into her mouth with a concentrated look. "Wonder what that would taste like...with crackers?" She shrugged and grabbed yet another piece of apple.
Lightning Dust groaned and facepalmed. Crisis averted...sixty percent of the cafeteria had stopped staring, at any rate. "Remind me why we're friends?"
Trixie grinned at her through a mouthful of peanut butter. "Because no one else likes us."
Lightning Dust sighed. ".....true."
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Ha! I look forward to more back and forth!
3927778
Oh, that's it I'm afraid
I forgot to switch the status to complete
3927791
Nooooooooo!
Why do You play with my emotions?
Great story and great humor with only one error!
Nice job.
3927814
Sorryyyyyyyyy
Though I see this has cost me a "favorite" on my story ...tis' a shame
I laughed at this. It's good to read a comedy fanfiction every once in a while.
I really like the pair's interaction. It's very funny.
You do not fail to disappoint. That is for sure.
and that happened
Well, good thing Caramel-the-pony's human analogue wasn't in the cafeteria at the time, or this would've been even more awkward.
In any case, a most enjoyable little one-shot. Thank you for it.
That's how me and my friends are.
(not that my numbers mean anything 
)
Any ways this was a good and a little funny too. Like that it was DT who was Trixie's villain in this. Also you could just say Rarity instead of purple hair'd girl (but i guess that would take the humor out of it).
Good job on this 8/10
Dat trixie!
hahahaha love this
Trixie's "theme song" is probably the "All hail Britannia" theme.
This is hilarious!
I love seeing Trixie being pointlessly dramatic, like in the peanut butter crackers scene in the movie. 
Ha. This is the third time today I've been laughing at a funny story. Now I feel like some peanut butter. Oh well.
Finally A fic that has a EG Lightning Dust
This is very funny XD this story might need a Human tag but still good.
That was fun. Please make more.
I loved the part when Rarity threw the pincushion. This merits both a follow and a mustache
I was about to object, and then the ending implied it takes place before EG.
This also sounds somewhat like my high school experience. We didn't particularly like each other, but there was really only like two goths, one scene kid, and one additional punk.
Great work, very funny.
I don’t even know why I like this fic so much, but I do. Nice work.
Drat you Peanut butter with your annoying get stuck to the top of your mouth stickiness. You replaced Carmel with it's get stuck in your teeth stickiness.
Wait a minute.
And thus, the origin of how soon the school was out of Peanut Butter Crackers
You can has review!