Like every fresh young couple, shiny and new, Spike and Rarity's maiden voyage into the depths of romantic intimasea is met with rough tides. Naturally, it's all Twilight's fault.
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Imaginary Valued
Joined 7th Feb, 2013 ·
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Amazeballs.
Oh man, that was great.
That's all I can say.
Hooray! Twilight ruins everything!
“There were flowcharts and diagrams.”
My god...
1/ Twilight needs to get laid, BADLY.. I don't care if it's even Derpy, Twilight needs to learn about carnal pleasure and sexual orgasmic release first-hand. JUST NOT WITH SPIKE!!!! He's got Rarity, and in this particular universe, Spike pleasuring Twilight, even for the sake of SCIENCE! is just weird...
2/ Take Twilight's supposed estimate for female orgams, and multiply it by 3. That will be about how many times Rarity will get off this night, especially since Spike's gotten his second wind (and definitely a third). And all of them will vary from "ooooh....." to "OH FUCKING CELESTIA, YES!!! SPIKE!!! DO ME AGAIN!!!!! And I also recommend at least 3 position changes.
3/ Spike's first time will be just that---his first time----for about 5 minutes. Then after that first load of splooge, Rarity better be prepared for an all-nighter.
4/ Spike should terrorize Twilight with every disgusting and depraving design in gory, juicy, explicit details====then watch Rapidash Twilight reappear.
Sweet story, very cute.
I hate to be THAT guy but...
Thumbs up!!
I honestly don't know what to say here. But I liked it.
Twilight is the epitome of terrible.
Twilight's a mood killer. Honestly, now there's one being that needs to take a joke or two as just a joke.
*JUMPS FOR JOY*
3842285 Your descriptions and suggestions are little extreme, but...eh, I guess this is the only fic Imaginary Valued will ever write where R-rated comments will be acceptable.
darling, please... THIS IS JUST THE FIRST STEP OF YOU INTO CLOP!! xDD ok, honestly, i think you couldn't write clop, because your humorous nature just wouldn't let you xD
although, you should include mature stuff such as this in your stories, which is not clop but it add an interesting source of inspiration xD
BTW, I CANT BELIEVE YOU WROTE THIS! BUT I LOVED IT! and that last phrase is just priceless!!!
3842678
I just say the first thing on my mind 80% of the time, while the other 20% is something else entirely. Whether it's something actually related to the story or just a comment to put my spice in it, it's all me.
And yeah, I do like my rare line-crossing comments, because sometimes no one else will.
Edit: Although in hindsight, points 2 and 3 may should have been taken off the board, looks like points 1 and 4 were with the style of the story. So there's a little egg on my face, hence the 2 downvotes on my comment.
Yea it is fine if you don't cross over that line all the way. I say your humor is more then enough to make up for the teasing lol. You told a funny and interesting story. That is all the more enjoyable if you know someone that has had that happen to them lol.Anyway keep up the great work. I would love to see more funny stories like this one written by you.
This is just brilliant! I don't know how you know how many orgasms a mare has, but the whole scene is perfectly set up and described
Twilight was full of shit.
This made my morning. XD This, and the flowcharts and diagrams. Poor Spike, having to suffer through that.
Writing lime is good. Not everybody is made for writing lemon.
I love it. I kinda feel sorry for Spike. All those diagrams and flowcharts. Twi's a Mood Killer!
I Love It!
That made my day!
I am definitely okay with that author's note XD
All I know is that spike likes rarity cause she has those ruby an diamonds but instead he shae his love with her an when they get married their menu is rubys....
3843724 Are you kidding? That's TORTURE… I don't think even I could endure that kind of treatment… *shudder*
goooooooods! phone bad for long comments but this worth telling
Okay, that was hilarious! Poor Spike. Graphs and flowcharts...
That was great! Excellent work!
That line alone gives this story an upvote. Not a fav (I'm not the biggest Sparity fan) but definitely an upvote.
EDIT: I take it back. I'm faving.
3841681
Seconded. And Thirded.
3843993
I'm just a troll like that
I like
I've always been a fan of Sparity
Pfftahahahahahaha!
Nice.
That was funny.
LAWL!
Oh Twilight
Usually, I am not the kind of person to say stuff like this but: I WANTED TO WRITE THAT ONE!
I even had the same idea about diagrams and flowcharts!
Well... twisted minds thinking alike, I guess.
Still very funny and cute.
Oh, Twi, you almost ruined your little brother's life. And that is why we love you!
Well the title was DEFINITELY NOT based off a certain song:
3844872
You stand even more corrected.
3844976 EEYUP
That pic is hot. The other pic is, too
And that fellows was intimacy in a way where you wonder if you read it and then after a few minutes of reconciliation realized you really really like it. Fan-fiction can be a mysterious thing at times.
Hilarious. And the cover image is super hot.
Not a fan of Sparity, but damnit this was too funny! I love it!
Also,
If anything, we will call this the ecchi of clop stories.
Have a Derpy for your hard work
OH this was brilliant. I'd love to see a follow up chapter where Rarity berates Twilight for taking all the romance out of sex, I think that'd be awesome. Oh and it'd give Spike a chance to tell her that 3-5 is a low estimate.
I THINK: This would be an awesome Clop Fic. If this isn't to much to ask, would you PLEASE write a Clop Fic?
Okay, I love this. What makes it even more awesome is that it makes sense!
Because I can't exactly give you 4.5 mustaches out of five, I'll just give you four and a trollestia.
3846019
This is the first one of these limes where I truly do like it as it is....no clop needed. The innuendo was more than enough
I should know......
Ring a bell anyone?
3846516
Thank you. No one was getting that.
3846551
I was kinda surprised no one else got it. How can you not know the most annoying sound in the universe?