• Member Since 31st Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Alcatraz


Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pony procreation...

E

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.
The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't spoil the good things, or make them unimportant.
When the opportunity to care for a small, blue alicorn arises, I give her the kindness that everyone and everything deserves.
After all, the loneliest people are the kindest...


Link to sequel: The Worlds End

(This is my first ever fanfic. I don't think my own writing skills are any good, but I want to try contributing something somewhat good to the fandom.)

Edit: Many months after I initially posted this story, I never thought it would get this popular. To date my first story is the biggest, statistics wise, and it even made the features box on the front page! Thanks to all the viewers and followers <3

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 338 )

well i find this to be a very good story thus far keep it up :twilightsmile:

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I spent about two weeks re-writing these two chapters over and over; not knowing if it'd be liked or not.
I decided to go for broke and post it, figuring I got nothing to lose.
I'm absolutely thrilled you like it!

I say for your first fanfic, mighty fine job! Keep up the good work I hope to read more soon!

I wonder what going to happen next. You are doing a great job by the way.

Holy God, did I just find a My Little Dashie spinoff that is actually exceptional?
Those are incredibly rare..

Huh, I'm actually surprised how well the first turn out. Time to finish the second. :rainbowdetermined2:

Need more... Need more now!!!
Anyway, keep up the good work.

Alright I'm intrigued this was well done so fave and upvote for your work.
I can't wait to see what happens next! :pinkiehappy:

This is good, I like it, tho some sentences sound a little bit weird. Good over all, specialy since it about prissiness Luna, she is my favorite pony!

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Awww shucks, you guys are making me blush /)^///^(\

I quite like it so far and would enjoy seeing this continue, I shall be paying close attention to this. :derpytongue2:

Ok people the next chapter is up!
Due to work commitments over the next 4 days, I won't be able to get the next chapter out until after then :applecry:. Hopefully if I get enough ideas on how to write the next chapter and I have the patience after work to write it, maybe you'll get lucky! :pinkiehappy:

I would suggest that the explaining of the Pinkie Promise be basically explaining the human pinkie promise, and adding something in there about some lady that made it up, and always took promises seriously. Just an idea.
Random moustache! :moustache:

I hope you don't end up like all my favorite fanfic writers and stop making chapters... I'm really enjoying this one!

Comment posted by Alcatraz deleted Nov 1st, 2013

Definitely won't be touching this one. Can't stand mld, spinoffs are even worse.

3428488 I'll admit I was scanning stories and saw the cover picture without reading the title. I'm not bashing your writing or anything since I obviously haven't read it. I'll just see myself out...

Keep working on your style! I'd recommend you make your chapters a bit longer and be more descriptive with some of your scenes. Very fun story!

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I'm fully aware that I need to be more descriptive about my scenes amongst other things.
I just find it a bit difficult, other wise I could very well have squeezed about 2000 words out of each chapter.
I thought I did well with the 1500 on chapter 3 up from the 1000 on Ch2. I'll just go from there and see what happens. Hopefully the next chapter will be 2000 at the rate I'm going!

Yay, new chapter!!! love this story! Just curious...are you British? For some odd reason when you described his home town all I could think of was Great Britain...don't know why because I've not been there before. And also because you use the words flats, motorway, and Mum. Don't bet me wrong I don't have a problem with it, I'm just a curious individual :p

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Since you asked, I'm from New Zealand. My mothers side is British.

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I have to somewhat agree with you, yes it was a bit rushed but the chapter was a bit difficult to write so I just did what came naturally

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You better not say what I think you are...

3429969 He thinks your about to say this story smells like *sniff* *sniff* shit >> its how it usually goes when people go that route.

Besides when you left it hanging at the end you left it for interpretation so it sounded like you were giving an insult.

Back on track though, this was a tough chapter oh boy them feels hope more is written soon.

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How the hell did you get "filly Nightmare Moon" from a description of the night sky!?!?

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I'd like to know as well, please explain how you got that.

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Don't look at me buddy, you and I are on the same page with with this, just ask him/her o.o

I want to see a filly nightmare moon is this story though....

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Hhmmm... *leans back in chair and scratches chin*
Not telling!!
(video related) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQTp8Ozj1JQ

That was adorable didn't expect a chapter so soon after I got done with the last, loved the lion king reference as well. :ajsmug:

o.0 curious to see what you do with the dreamscape I can only speculate right now so I can't wait for more as usual. :rainbowdetermined2::rainbowlaugh:

i have to say im liking where this goin cant wait to read more :twilightsmile: :twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Oh hell no! I like moon and stars but I also like the sun for it brought lights to grow crop, trees and other food. No nightmare moon in here please. :pinkiehappy:
Anyway, little woona is bucking adorable.

I don't want a nightmare moon...that will kinda ruin the luna i like.

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I'm just going to say this.
I will take responsibility for what I say; not for what you interpret.
I did not, at any point, say that the day was powerful or painful.

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Omg, Nightmawe Woon is such an adorable name XD

shouldn't it be "My Little Woona"? yeah, everytime I see filly Luna, I just call her like that :twilightsheepish:

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While that would make sense, it would take away from the direction I intend to take this fic.
If I called it My Little Woona, then it wouldn't make sense to have Luna grow up, I'd have to keep to the title and base the story around Luna being a filly to fit the title. But that's just how I think :twilightsmile:

Whats "My little dashie"? Who called? Why am i asking questions i can answer in a few minutes?

Oh the 9th doctor he's showing her? Awesome!
I really do wish he made more seasons I really liked him as the doctor. ><

Anyway a few grammar errors nothing to big other then that this story was again pretty damn cute but is it me, or are the chapters really short? :rainbowderp:

Oh God. There is far too much cuteness in this story to be legal! Gah! It's just too much! If I were able to get a sugar rush, then this story would give me one every time I read it! And yes, I can not get a sugar rush. I know. I have tried a couple of times. Yay for me! :yay:
Random moustache! :moustache:

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It's not you, and yes the chapters are rather short. I really want to expand on them but for some reason when I reach the conclusion of the chapter I'm fine with how it is, albeit rather short. I just write whatever comes to me.

3432785 3432844 I suppose that they believe that since the dude is emphasizing how beautiful the night is, Luna will want to make night stay, so she'll become NMM.

Oh my God, I love this story so much. Can't wait for more! :twilightsmile:

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That's an interesting way of putting it....

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Oh stop, you're making me blush /)^///^(\

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