• Member Since 3rd Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen Jan 20th, 2018

Scribe Scribbles


I'm a brony. Need I say more?

E

I've had this story in my head for some time and I decided to start writing. It might be like a rip-off, but I think it's pretty good.
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Luna somehow gets transported to this world just like Rainbow Dash in My Little Dashie. A human finds her and raises her the next 20+ years until Celestia finally comes.

Chapters (18)
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Comments ( 92 )
Comment posted by Thunder Lightning deleted May 6th, 2015

5706456
true. still finishing it though.

5706642 I do look forward to what you can do here

I love the picture you got for it :derpytongue2:
its earned you a derp seal of approval

Just asking, how do you add pictures to the story and change your profile pic? I'm new.:derpyderp2:

Pretty nice and can't wait for what this story has to hold in the future.

5706682
'derp seal of approval' I love it!

5706777
click on your stories title or picture. click the edit button on there. copy a pictures URL and paste it in the part where it says 'pictures URL here'

5706875
not the best at. never said I was.

5706911 You can get editors and prereaders for that; it's no excuse to say "this is muh first story." Speaking of "this is muh first story," that's a guaranteed downvote-and-leave-the-story flag right there. I'd suggest removing that bit, because if you don't...let's just say the critics will come and the results will not be pretty.

5706928 No probs. Trust me, when the critics come, it's gonna be a Medieval mob, complete with pitchforks and torches. Like I said--not pretty.

5706932
fixed the synopsis. hope it works better.

5706456

because no matter what effort, no story will beat that masterpiece

I will be back, you have been warned. ~ Silver Spoon

5708715
Don't know why you would be when my comment wasn't directed at you.

Title:

Good night Luna

Correction: "Goodnight Luna", or, "Good Night Luna".

Description:

I've had this story in my head for some time and I decided to start writing. It might be like a rip-off, but I think it's pretty good. Luna somehow gets transported to this world just like Rainbow Dash in My Little Dashie. A human finds her and raises her the next 20+ years until Celestia finally comes.

Correction: I've had this story in my head for some time and I decided to start writing. It might be like a rip-off, but I think it's pretty good.


Luna somehow gets transported to the human world just like Rainbow Dash in "My Little Dashie". A human finds her and raises her for the next 20+ years until Celestia finally comes.

Chapters:
There needs to be more added to chapter one. After all, you said 20+ years and that's a long time. You also need to properly capitalize the title of these chapters.


I don't believe you should make a copy of "My Little Dashie" using Luna instead of Rainbow Dash. Chapter one is a little too short, considering you said 20+ years. I may come back to review chapter one. ~ Silver Spoon

5709391
I'll keep that in mind and there will be more, that's just the beginning.

5709391
extra specification: chapter one is all about first meeting Luna.

In my opinion the guy's reaction should have been exaggerated, I mean who would not freak out that a magical horse is real and in front of them. Nonetheless good job.

5706891
oh yes the derp seal of approval is a serious thing...if you get something totally awesome then you might get a double triple or even the oh so legendary quadruple derp seal of approval!

Comment posted by Scribe Scribbles deleted Mar 11th, 2015

5706932
be honest.
continue the story?
or ditch it and start another?

Will I wouldn't quit it just yet let it go a little bit longer. The plot is fine even tho it's very similar to My Little dashie just get a proofreader or something but this story still has potential just take a small break and come with some original ideas or just ask people what they want to expect on this type of story those are my recommendations.

Well, this chapter dosent really say which gender the main character is at all it was a bit confusing. Another part had me very confused.
((They kept trying to set me up Rebecca's brother who's a psychiatrist. Rebecca is my brother, Johns, wife. Its not as serious as most cases are. I'm more sadden really, by what the world is. Lost of death and disappointment, and a tiny bit of hope.))
I am not really sure but is it a male named Rebecca which is the main characters brother or is it a typo lol?

Rather good start on the story either way, keep up the good work.

5740768
First-male
second-I was saying that they were thinking he was going to kill himself so they kept setting appointments with a psychiatrist to try and help. Rebecca is a female and married to the main characters brother.

Great story, i have rather enjoyed reading the story so far.
Also, his brother might belive he is a kidnapper unless he comes clean about Luna.
Doupt he would want the police charging in his door anytime soon, altough then again it is a fanfic and can easily be misdirected in whichever direction you are taking it. :>

Looking forward to next chapter.

5742670
Actually Good Times was going to be the chapter about the brother calling the police but I changed it.

Comment posted by LongJohn 03 deleted Mar 19th, 2015

I think you meant KITCHEN not CHICKEN...

this is a very good story so far, and I can't wait to read more of it. :pinkiehappy:

y the hate? Is it because it's like My Little Dashie?

5778949
thank you! just 'cause it's like My Little Dashie don't mean there gotta be hate.

They would grow to be the same lovely blue as Luna’s mane.

Awww now there's a dad who cares:heart:

one does not simply tell one's family that he has adopted an alien alicorn.

5795290 i think i would be one of the few who would have the balls to tell them straight away, and the only one to threaten death if they harm her.

5795353 more of motherly than fatherly, and more spartan-like as well, i meant to clarify, that those death threats would be "hurt her and i'll beat you to death with your own limbs, then burn you."

Why is this in a clop folder?

5795729
not exactly the best with technology so woops.
fixed it.

Comment posted by Doomagedon deleted Mar 29th, 2015
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