• Member Since 31st Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Alcatraz


Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pony procreation...

T

After leaving Earth to join Luna on Equestria and assuming a new name, the human finds himself in need of closure from what he left behind. After scouring countless books for a way to get back to Earth he finally finds one. Which leads to one simple question.
Where does magic come from?

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A special thanks to the invaluable Elusive Element for editing; his editing skills transcend mine! This story wouldn't be what it is without his help.
Chapters 1 - 9 are edited by Elusive Element.
Chapters 10 - 12 are edited by spideremblembrony.
Also a much deserved thanks to Joshwolf999 for helping me out with ideas, planning, and writing this thing.

An (unofficial) sequel to my original story; My Little Luna! This is largely a standalone story but I highly recommend you read the prequel for this to make any sense, and it will greatly help you understand certain things in here.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 118 )

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!

The long awaited, and requested sequel to my very first story, My Little Luna!!!

Gonna read this so hard it'll take me to court for sexual assault.

4508625

OH GOD DAT COMMENT HAS ME IN STITCHES XD

Damn, I thought this was a ponified version of the film "The World's End."

4508982

Sorry to disappoint.
MFW dat comment --->:fluttercry:

Would you still at least read it to see how it goes?

Dude I loved helping you with this and I hope people enjoy it. :pinkiehappy:

Dat ending sentence.
[youtube=hEi4I6UWuDQ]

4509336

YOU MADE MY DAY, WEEK, AND YEAR :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

meh already read this chapter a while ago XD

4509448

Heh, I remember you XD

I'll put up the next chapter in a few hours so you can read that too.

:pinkiegasp::rainbowderp: Wow... now that is a lot to take in... Just the right half of the map is a lot to take in. And is that a CRACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN IN THE UPPER LEFT CORNER???? :pinkiecrazy::rainbowhuh::unsuresweetie::twilightoops:

4509685

Yes, yes it is. I'm basing the vast majority of the story up in that region and exploration of it. I hope I impress, I've worked so hard on this the last few months.

loved this.once i saw that he wasnt staying with luna i was all :flutterrage: but it disapated twords the en, but at the end it lost the father/daughter feel and felt more like frend talking.

4509695 Is there a prequel to this?

Magic... life creates it, makes it grow, it's energy surrounds us, and binds us, luminous beings are we! Magic is between you, me, the trees, the rocks, everywhere! Even between the land and your hooves.

4510694there is it his his stiry my little luna and it is :moustache::pinkiehappy::heart:

4510859 Thank you. I will read it first.

i dont know whybut i am reminded of dragons dogma.. 1st comment

Question about the title: does it imply that worlds do, indeed, end? Or did you just forget the possessive apostrophe? I'm quick to critique, but I don't want to be a jerk! :raritycry:

4512703

Question about the title: does it imply that worlds do, indeed, end? Or did you just forget the possessive apostrophe? I'm quick to critique, but I don't want to be a jerk!

World's = possessive
Worlds = plural

So in the case of this title, I deliberately did that because it means the end of two worlds. You'll understand why when I finish writing this and publish the rest of the chapters :raritywink:

val
val #23 · Jun 8th, 2014 · · 4 · I. ·

how was luna getting magic in the prequel if the ponies get magic from the breach?

4513976

Magic gets leaked out of The Breach, not to say it's where they get magic from.

All will be explained later in the story.

4513976 Bro, )1(, IT'S FUCKING MAGIC. NOBODY KNOWS HOW THE FUCK IT WORKS. )2(, It's a fucking FANFICTION. NOBODY KNOWS HOW THE FUCK THEY WORK EITHER. )3(, IT'S FUCKING MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!

OHMEHGARD!!!!!! This was GREAT!!! Can't wait for more!!!

4515251

This comment made me laugh so hard XD

Bravo! No, really... BRAVO! You do know what it means to write a real story. And I thank you for that.

P.S. Maybe you could name your story "The Worlds Edge"?

4521806

I've stated previously that I've called it The Worlds End because it's the end of two worlds, but you'll find out later why that is.

I have said it before, and I shall say it again: This is a heart-felt story with ponies. Don't put your religious views into something so peaceful and corrupt it. Really, what do you have to gain? To hurt and offend others? Yeah... Don't do it.

4548383

What do you have a problem with specifically in this chapter???

4548400

but as science eventually showed us, it was a bunch of bull.

Some people are not atheists. It is fine for you to be one, but why corrupt something so innocent with something that causes such controversy? That statement was COMPLETELY uncalled for!

4548430

One of the people on here whom I'm good friends with is religious, he read the chapter, saw your comment though, and had this to say to me via skype:

I'm not offended at all. The main point is to let the author write what they want to, and if you have a problem with it, it is YOUR problem, and your problem alone.

If you don't like it, leave, that much is your loss, not mine. Subsequent comments pointing out things of that nature because YOU don't like them will be removed. Being belligerent about it will get you blocked (you'll still be able to read, but blocking only removes the ability to comment to my knowledge).

I've since changed the portion you quoted to be less... harsh.

4548546

By way of comparison, this is an okapi: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/18/Okapi2.jpg

I'm only using the description of one, but the Bullseye in this story is a pony-zebra cross breed.

4508625
Have you been taken to court for sexual assault yet? :P

Hold the fuck up.
I was reading the description cuz I was bored when suddenly;

An (unofficial) sequel to my original story; My Little Luna!

An (unofficial) sequel

An (unofficial) sequel

How is this considered "unofficial"?

4549662

An official sequel is directly related to the events of the last story. A story can be a story of its own standing, but loosely tied to the previous one, thus, unofficial. I've said unofficial because in the ending of MLL, Luna tells Narrator that there's many adventures to come.

"Luna, my dear." I cleared my throat. "I am positively scared shitless."

Indeed :rainbowdetermined2:
Try and use 'father' more in Luna's dialogue rather than 'dad'. I've said before it makes Luna difficult to read.

4559333

Overusing words does tend to get tedious for me, so I try to change it up now and them. People are as likely to complain that 'father' gets used too much, but I'll keep it in mind when polishing off subsequent chapters before publishing.

I see you got some of this it from avatar minus a giant owl, really loved the chapter can't wait to read the rest

4562644

It's a combination of Wan Shi Tong's Library (so yes) and the actual Library at Alexandria. I'm glad you like it so far!

No words can describe how awesome this is...

4575128

You make me blush :twilightblush::twilightsheepish:

... What the fuck is that?

4587092 OHMIGAHS RIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Why Luna call him father?

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