• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 19 minutes ago

CrackedInkWell


"Inspiration does not come to the lazy. It only comes to those who call it." - P. I. Tchaikovsky

E
Source

On the day before her 800th year of her lonely reign without her younger sister, Celestia takes the day before to mourn over her sister ever since she was banished to the moon. But on this particular day of grief, she gets a visit from the Doctor, along with somepony whom she hasn't seen in a very, very long time, her sister Luna.

Any kind of constructive criticism is welcomed. (The key word here is "constructive".)


A special thank you to SecretBrony01 for proofreading this story.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 30 )

I'm thinking you might need an editor. I spotting a number of errors on your part here. If you'd like, I can edit for you. I'm pretty good with grammar, and I'd like to see where this story goes.

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

4957672 Honestly, I'm relatively new to this site, so I don't really know how edit for you. Suggestions?

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

4957769 In that case, "morn" should be "mourn." And "Celestia had got" should be "Celestia received." The rest is just me nitpicking minute details.

I like the idea, and in a story i wrote on a different site, i referenced Luna inside the TARDIS

I've seen doctor who when the next chapter comic?

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

Luna doesnt know how close to the truth she is.:fluttershysad:

Sooo...... the Doctor has pulled a young Luna BEFORE she turned into Nightmare Moon, into the future 800 years AFTER becoming Nightmare Moon??

Fark and Buck dear Doctor Whooves!! This is worse than when you left Amy for half a day which was more like 15 years or so.

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014
Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

To your comment above, because its a good story.
Also, Im pretty sure celestia just proved that mare wrong.

4969919 Are you complaining? you made a very interesting story.

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

4970806 well enjoy it while it lasts. this is still a news fic. anything can happen.

4962745
Hey, that wasn't HIS fault that the time there was messed up...

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

I liked it! good little story a little short. I always enjoy a good Whooves fic. You did misspell a ton of words like everytime you used stars you wrote stairs. Great job maybe make an extension of it. /if you ever need editing help contact me.

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

the Shadow Procuration made these so illegal

It's the Shadow Proclamation.

This is interesting so far.

It was good, but I think it needed more focus on Luna and Celestia. The Master shouldn't really be used as a supporting character, he's too dangerous to be stopped in 3000 words. Oh well, upvoted.

Found some typos.
“Well, don’t just stand there, (cease) her!” [seize]

The Doctor was (gaged) before he could finish. [gagged]

Celestia was (gaged) too [gagged]

I think I know what's happening you trust spellcheck. Do not do this, all it cares about is if the word is spelt right, not if it is the right word.

example won to tree for fife sex
one two three four five six
spell check sees nothing wrong with either set of numbers.

Comment posted by CrackedInkWell deleted Nov 26th, 2014

Meanwhile on Pluto...

The Master: ... ... FUUUUUU...

Oh? Hello, this is a new companion pairing I haven't seen before.. time to read

To quote the second doctor, Oh dear, we are in trouble now, arn't we?

5440830
More like " Fuuuuuuu- Oh Rasilon, it's fracking cold!!

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