• Member Since 8th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen January 28th

ssjgokillo


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The night after they defeated Nightmare Moon and rescued Princess Luna, Rainbow Dash finds Twilight on a hilltop outside Ponyville, staring up at Canterlot. Afterwards, the two find themselves returning to that same hilltop night after night, discussing their crazy adventures, and the things they've never shared with anypony else.

My entry for the 3.5 Twidash Competition.

Cover art made by me using vectors from the MLP Vector Club

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 96 )

Wonderful little story here. The epilogue was absolutely perfect, and I quite like the idea.

In fact, I like this idea so much that, had I had time to write my own fic for this contest, this is the idea I came up with. Almost exactly, barring only the hill.

Awesome story. Best of luck in the contest.

Not bad But we will have to see

I feel that only faving and giving thumbs up doesn't honor this fic enough...
So I just felt like writing this comment... To say I loved it is an understatement...
:scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

Drinking game on this story? Be drunk by the first scene transition! LOL! This was a good story, and while I'm not fond of TwiDash, i really liked this story actually! Well Done!:pinkiesmile:

Great story, one of the few that can make me smile, so kudos to you

Here are some comics/articles that could 8e useful to any writer.

This was good but...
Inconcievable?
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk]
(Please note that you did not use this word incorrectly. You just reminded me of this scene. :twilightsmile:)

LOVED IT can't wait to read more from you bro

3356922
I iz in your mind, stealing your ideas! :pinkiecrazy: Thanks man!

3357630
They're taking the hobbits to Isengard? No, seriously, I have no idea what is going on here.

3357912
Thanks, I think :derpytongue2:

3358049
Awwww, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

3358331
Yup, pretty sure we'd see some alcohol poisoning if anyone actually did that. Still, glad you liked the story. Thanks for reading!

3358519
Thanks. I love to hear that my stories made someone laugh or smile, pretty much the best part about writing for me.

3358698
Heh, nice. I'm assuming I made some of these mistakes in the story. I'll be sure to look through it, but still, that's a handy comic their. Hah! See what I did they're? Okay, that's not funny anymore, I'm sorry.

3358713
Oh trust me, every time I hear the word, I think the exact same thing. Perhaps the greatest movie quote ever.

3358724
Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it! I actually have some plans for writing in November, so hopefully you'll get to see more from me in the next month.

3358768the other six, linked at the 8ottom of that one, could also 8e useful. Along with an alot.

Good story, good story.

Ahh, time to once again add another story to my read later list.

PAFUAIHSUIDJAOIGHDFPUISJFIOPSHFAIGJASOIFHSPOUIFJPSIFHGSDUISJFGIOPHUIOPAJFPAFIOAHSFOPIUIOAHGOPSJFOIASJDFAIOPSJFOPSHIDFPUIOGASDIDFJASIOPGHSODFJISf

One day, oh one day . . .

This is wonderful. Just… wonderful.

Great little story you got here, quite a cute setting with just enough 'drama' to give it some spice and not just another 'they get together' story. I like that you used actual events to help create the situations for them. I was honestly curious if at some point you were gonna get to MMM and have a comment from dash about 'teaching Twilight to fly' but considering this is for a contest and all that would have been stretching it out a lot.

Cheers to you and hope you well in the contest!

I think this was a nice little story, and this time I don't have any big complaints! There are some small grammatical errors and whatnot, but nothing really distracting. You could have emphasized the idea of their lives being a storm more, but that only matters from the perspective of the contest. For those of us who are just looking for good stories to read, it's not an issue.

Ya did good :pinkiesmile:

That was beautiful. Excellent work! Have a fave and like!

A nice, slow, story. Out of all the entries to the TwiDash 3.5 contest, I would've declared this one as the winner. The epilogue could have been more though, simply jumping to the wedding feels a little like a copout.

That said, well done. An enjoyable read. :twilightsmile:

Reading this left me feeling warm and content. I've never been able to put my finger on precisely what qualities in a story make me feel that way, but I do know that when it happens I've read a keeper. So I'll be putting this in my list of favourites.

I enjoyed the gentle pace. It was very elegantly slice of life, and it made the flow of the whole story just seem so natural. It's something that often goes awry for many authors, so it's nice to see somebody hitting the stride.
Twilight and Rainbow aren't what I'd consider a "natural" couple amongst the Mane Six pairings. You've made it seem irrefutably convincing here.

Thank you.

Your pacing has improved remarkably since I last read anything by you. This was a sweet little story, and an awesome character study for both. Hats off to you.

AGHUGFASHASGAGFA~ Too cute, TOO CUTE!~ I love this story. Thank you for sharing it with us~

This needs more Likes!

thank you for not making us do that. that'd be worse than playing the stephen king drinking game.:twilightoops::pinkiegasp::raritycry:

also, this story was so sweet, i feel like i oughta get an insulin monitor. :raritystarry::raritywink::twilightblush::rainbowkiss::twilightsmile::yay:

and I'm adding these just for giggles: :ajsmug::moustache::rainbowwild::facehoof:

I tried, but I didn't have quite enough Jack Daniels whiskey in my cabinet to do it. I got to shot 19, though.
Do I get a prize for still not being drunk? :twilightsheepish:

Good story! So take this like, fav, and comment! :pinkiehappy:

And since it's dangerous to go alone, take this: :moustache:

Why is everyone else's entries so much better than mine?

I loved it and from a brony here take this::moustache:

This was so sweet

Omigod, that was just so beautiful!!
MOTHER OF GOD!!! THIS MUST HAVE A LIKE!:twilightsmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiehappy:

3359141
Thank you!

3359345
I wouldn't think time would be an issue for you, all things considered :twilightsmile:

3359377
Thanks!

3359380
I would've loved to have covered some season 2&3 stuff, but it would've violated the rules of the contest. Actually, originally the epilogue took place after Twilight's coronation. Had to change that when I remembered that nothing past season 1 was allowed.

3359490
Thanks! Wish I would have had time to get you to look over this before hand, but I was pressed as it was. Glad you enjoyed it though!

3359576
Thanks! I like both those things!

3359676
Like I was telling Shiki in the skype chat yesterday, we need to start shipping mane six with their equestria girl countparts. Mane12 marem fics for all! :derpytongue2:

3359858
Thanks. I can understand what you meant about the epilogue. Originally it was supposed to take place after Twilight's coronation in season 3, I'd wanted to show that time had passed and they were still together. Then I read the rules again and saw we couldn't have anything past season 1 in the fic.

3359910
Thanks. I had tried to watch how fast I went with the story, to make it flow as naturally as possible. I'm glad it seemed to work.

3360128
Heheh, yeah. I seem to have a hard time not skipping over certain parts my brain already knows. I tried hard to make the pacing of the story match exactly what I was thinking this time around. I'm glad you think it's an improvement.

3360270
No problem, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

3360283
Yeaaah, had a feeling some people may die from the drinking game. Maybe next time. Glad you liked the story, hope the insulin thing works out for ya :twilightblush:

3360470
That's impressive. Here, have a ScootAngel: :scootangel:

3360880
A like, fave, comment, and a mustache Spike? Is it my birthday?

3360907
That's how I feel on just about every contest, ever.

3361424
w00t! Another Spikestache! Thanks :pinkiehappy:

3361515
Heheh, thankies! :twilightblush:

3361617
Yay! Thank you!

Seriously folks, thanks for all the support. I'm glad so many people seem to be enjoying this story. Thank you all!

3361714
Well, that reply was fa(u)st! geddit?

3361714
I only give them to the best of stories :pinkiehappy:

3361714
Ialso love how you made the audience know they were in love but not with sex or so like with other stories

3361730
reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/reference.gif

3361746
Then I am honored! I wanted to go for more of a buildup with the relationship. As much fun as I like:

:rainbowwild:: Ohmahgawd Twi you're so hot lets make babies!
:twilightsmile::I thought you'd never ask!

I also like stories where the relationship is the selling point.

“Applejack?! No way! I’m like.. at least 20% cooler than she is!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

Don't do that.

Other than that and the epilogue, this was a cute little slice of life.

I like the idea of twi and rd together just like twi and rarity
:raritystarry: oh my godesses i love you twilight
:twilightoops: I never thought you would ask but it is too late rare
:rainbowlaugh: you ready to go home twi

Holy shit was this beautiful. Faved and liked!:yay:

3361885
Heheh, fine. I apologize for overused phrase. Thanks though, glad you enjoyed parts of it.

3361893
Nah, should go more like this
:raritystarry:: Twilight, darling, I am madly in love with you!
:rainbowderp:: What, you can't be in love with Twilight! I'm in love with Twilight!
:twilightblush:: Girls, Girls, no need to fight. There's plenty of Twi to go around.
:rainbowwild:: Hot threesome with two sexy unicorns? I'm game!
:raritywink:: We can see that Rainbow, please, put your wings away before you take out somepony's eye.

The end.

:pinkiehappy:: Wait! My Pinkie Sense just went off saying that Twilight's starting a harem!

3362508
Awww, thanks! And your avatar is awesome!
To be continued....

3362831
yea i agree and they just had threesomes for the rest of their days lol for that comment take this.....:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::moustache:

Damn, I wish I could write something as sweet as this. Marvelous.

I think this story is going to win the contest, the heck, screw thinking, I'm pretty sure it will. :rainbowdetermined2:
Oh and this :

Rarity and Applejack find out that Twilight has (surprise, surprise) never been on a date before, and try to hook her up with somepony.

Yes, that idea, yes :rainbowwild: Of course it would simply HAVE to be Rainbow that they hooked her up with :twilightblush:

This was a fantastic story. The pacing of the tale was absolutely perfect. :heart:

3361714

Maybe you will be able to do a full story around this idea in the future. It was really good twist on it and adding bits from Season 2 and 3 would be interesting.

im not a fan of twidash< but this was very well dont! :twilightsmile:

Nice story. Spotted some spelling errors, and if I get the time, I'll go back and find them for you. (I really need to get better at taking note of them while I read!)

It's a shame we've had that wedding episode. Would have been fun to see how you'd imagine an Equestrian wedding without the human "baggage" to influence it.

Still, thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you for writing the story.

3362879
I'm sure you could, if you haven't already! Perhaps I need to take a look at some of your stories and find out... :pinkiehappy:

3362916
I could see them trying Fluttershy first. Of course, the timid pegasus would instantly decline, as it would just be too nerve wracking to be Twilight's first date (I mean... what if I did something wrong? What if I was the worst date ever and she hated me and never wanted to see me again...). Of course, they'd think about Pinkie Pie... for a second. So it'd be up to Rainbow Dash! Or something. The logic there isn't very sound, but darnit if I wouldn't do it anyways :rainbowdetermined2:

3362964
Thanks! I'm really glad to hear so many people thought the pacing on this story was just right!

3363308
Maybe. Honestly if I had continued this story past season 1, it would still just be a couple of episodes from season 2 (Lesson Zero, mayhaps Luna Eclipsed, Mare Do Well, Read Em and Weep, and the Wedding). Same with season 3... actually, looking at it, that would be enough for a whole other chapter or two...

Ah well, we'll have to see what the future holds. :twilightblush:

3364062
Glad you liked it, especially if you don't normally like Twidash!

3364626
Heh, I don't know if I'm up to that particular challenge. Trying to write and keep track of a 12 way relationship? Especially given the fact that half of the participants are different species? I mean, sure, I'd send one half through the mirror and what not...maybe I'll do it as an extra chapter for my Vacation Revelations story? :derpytongue2:

3364763
One of these days I'll either get better at editing myself, or find someone willing to edit for me. Either way, I'd appreciate anything you can point out for me!

I'm honestly not sure what I would've done differently for an Equestrian wedding, since I am unfortunately human myself :derpytongue2:. I'd probably look at other cultures throughout history and see what their bonding rituals were like. I've done something similar with some aspects of my Twilight's Journey story... if I ever get back to writing that.

3364913 Gah! No! Don't do it! Do not sully your precious thoughts with my witless dribble! Such a lovely mind must be cherished!

Every moment of conversation between Rainbow Dash and Twilight was perfect. I would read this again just for all of those parts alone. Well done on that front.

The whole story is very smooth, and I love how you used the entire frame of time we were given for the contest in the story. To see the progression of their relationship was nice, and it was done very gradually and not too quick.

To be fair, I would have been satisfied without the little epilogue, as I think the ending was a natural ending for the story. I appreciate that there wasn't a full blown makeout session, as it would have seemed out of place for how the story was.

So overall, 10/10! I love this story. :twilightsmile:

Good luck in the contest!

DJRD

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