• Member Since 21st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 13th, 2018

Daring Deux


Roses are red, violets are blue. That was a comma splice, this one is too.

T
Source

Rainbow Dash loses a bet. Now she has to buy Twilight lunch.

3rd place finalist in the TwiDash 3.5 Contest!

Editors: IRpony and Enter Madness

Vector of Rainbow Dash by Sairoch

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 53 )

I know what she can get Twilight for lunch ;)

Cute story, Comrade. You get a upvote for that, and a favorite because I like you.

3358428

Cronyism works once again! Huzzah!

Twilight grinned. She liked defining words.

That sudden realization that Comrade is secretly Twilight.

Anyway... that happened... story and such. Not sure what to say outside of that.

3358464

Not much else to say, really.

3358471
How does it feel to have Twilight Sparkle secretly be you?

Good show Comrade. I enjoyed this thoroughly and it seemed like a real situation that could actually happen in the show. Good luck in the contest, and nice read once again!

Hey Rainbow got them a free dinner, they didn't have to pay because the waiter and cook were distracted. She is smart. :pinkiehappy:

Now I want to see how good of a soufflé Rainbow could make with storm magic.

I like the Aegis reference.

3360140

I'm glad you found it adequate:pinkiesmile:.

"Sorry for being such a feather-brain, Twilight," she said without turning around

No period. :trollestia:

Cute story, and a nice little setup, even if it did seem a bit obvious. I'm just wondering if there's a way to make the ending a little less abrupt. Maybe just some tweaking of the final line, to put the description of Twilight's actions before the dialogue, rather than in the middle of it. As it is, I kinda feel like I'm supposed to keep reading.

Still, you've earned your green thumb and shiny gold star. :twilightsmile:

A little abrupt, but very cute all the same.

3362457
3362114

There may or may not have been a deadline involved:twilightoops:. I may or may not be terrible with deadlines:twilightblush:. I meant to release the next chapter of The Errant Sun five or six weeks ago:facehoof:.

All the same, I hope you enjoyed it~

I rather enjoyed this, I am happy to see someone write RD with the ability to cook, and the story was rather belivable, shit like this can happen....other than the talking ponies, magic, cloud walking...you get the point

3362536
Ah, the dreaded D word. That would explain it. Still, like I said, it's very cute. I certainly liked it. :twilightsmile:

Also, that was a clever take on the prompt. :moustache:

RD is channeling her own inner Gordon Ramsay.

3363818 No, grasshopper. Not salad :trixieshiftleft:

"After the storm", icwudt :raritywink:

That was cute :twilightsmile: Super nervous food critic Rainbow was delightful. The ending felt a little rushed, as others have pointed out, but still a nice story. Have a Spike: :moustache:

“Twilight, this isn’t like your fancy linguistical nonsense. This is a bet—bets have rules."

Hey! Fancy linguistical nonsense has rules too! :twilightangry2:

I am rather impressed you have time to write quality stories like this while editing other stories for artists. Very well done.

And yes, I see what you mean about variances in our style of writing. If I wrote this, It'd be two chapters longer and 10,000 words more.

Very cute story.

3367231

And probably a good deal better~

3367723

I'm glad you enjoyed it:pinkiesmile:

Haha, not bad at all!

I rather liked that ending!

~Skeeter The Lurker

3386449 Well, Twilight will be eating out :moustache:

Because someone scolded me about downvoting stories without leaving comments (again), I thought I'd, you know, let you know why I downvoted this. Plus you know, you've helped me with stuff in the past, so fair's fair. >>;

II just couldn't buy into the story. It felt awkward and a bit contrived, and the stunning revelation that Rainbow Dash is good at cooking really lacks impact because... well, it isn't really that important. It doesn't really feel like it has much of a point, and I didn't really feel the emotionality of the whole thing.

It isn't that it is a bad idea - deliberately losing a bet in order to spend time together is an idea I myself have used in a story, so I can hardly complain about that - but it just didn't grip me anywhere along the line, nor did the story really sell me on the ship (and I actually like TwiDash). The flow just didn't work for me.

In short, I like the idea behind this, but I don't feel like the execution really did what it needed to do.

3415248

Can't say I disagree with you, sir. I can't say I'm exactly pleased with how this came out, but I had a deadline. I'm just glad I got myself to write anything.

Thanks for your honesty and your feedback!

Twilight, this isn’t like your fancy linguistical nonsense. This is a bet—bets have rules.

This was so much funnier because I know you, Cmrd. I laughed for a long while at that. I also left a comment about it; you've probably seen it.

3420000

And then I responded to the comment with a rainbow dash face.

Yes:rainbowdetermined2:.

And it was good.

Also, that was post number 3420000, exactly. I like pointing out weird stuff like that sometimes.

Yes:rainbowdetermined2:.

We're getting things done here, Tast. I like this. Let's do it again some time.

would love to see a follow up to this

SHL

Cute, I liked :pinkiehappy:

3908824

Glad you enjoyed it:pinkiehappy:.

“Okay, it’s a date!” Twilight said.

“Wait, uh, what?” Rainbow Dash asked, blushing slightly.

“It’s an arranged meeting between two ponies at a specific time and place! You know, a date!” Twilight grinned. She liked defining words.

In this universe of yours, griffins, minotaurs, and anything non-pony is incapable of having dates?

Those poor things. :pinkiesad2:

4544143

No. They get nothing.

Joke aside, I'm certain you realize that that line comes from the subjective view of Twilight, who grew up in a society of ponies, and thus naturally refers to them as such. For better or for worse, it is kind of the default. Language can be a bitch sometimes.

4544546

Of course I do.

Silly comment for a silly story. :heart:

Not bad. are you planing on a contuation? cuz let me tell you my brain is, sortof making a quick draft as i'm writing this comment.
Anyways great story and rather cute a nice 7/10 from me and maybe there will be a cookie in your near future :raritywink:
~Tobben

4991303

Glad you enjoyed it. I do regret to inform you, though, that I intended this to be a one-shot, and have no plans on ruining my streak of inactivity with a sequel to this. I do have some things in various stages of completion, but I am never happy with anything I produce, and have managed to thoroughly distract myself with non-horsewords based endeavors for the time being.

Thank you very much for the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Cheers,

-Comrade

Such cuteness! Love the idea of RD growing up in the kitchen, but being too scared of being classed an "egghead" to bring it up. I got an OC who also grew up in the kitchen (has evolved from a very different OC somehow.) and reading this makes me think they'd easily be good buddies.

6505937

Glad you enjoyed it!

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