• Member Since 14th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 9th, 2020


If you have any issues with getting your story on the site or any personal issues (eg: depression), PM me. Please don't add me to random Skype groups without asking. Thank you.

Comments ( 126 )

Ahh, it's that one fic I didn't want to read. Well, I hope it does well.

I'll just chill over here . . . not reading it.

Because clop.

EDIT: It's funny how I still gave this story a like regardless.

Reads description... :rainbowderp:... :moustache: My body is ready.

Yesssss. This story pleased me so much, Shadow. I'm so happy you wrote this for me. It's a shame people are going to downvote this on just the concept alone and ignore the good writing skills you used on it. I certainly hope others ask for an extra chapter or two as well, because I would love to see more!


A few of my editors asked if I might write another chapter. If it does okay, I might consider it.

You fabulous man.


Oh, also, I enjoyed writing this. Although I say it's wrong to write for others, I think this is one of the exceptions to my own rule.

Very nice, dude.

VERY nice indeeeeeeed.

~Skeeter The Lurker

It is really disturbing to me that I like this stuff.


Eh, what you do behind your computer screen is none of my business.

But, do go into rigorous detail.

3262421 Semen, semen everywhere.

I rather liked this story up until the eh, "testing room". I despise clop-fics with a passion though I wish no offense to you. You actually created a very vivid amount of imagery and I thought it was well written. You have a talent for writing and I would enjoy reading less uh... 'explicit' stories from you. I hold no malice but please understand my earlier statements...
2 / 5 stars... (great foreshadowing!)


Hey, no worries. I usually leave the clop for the end for readers who wish to just avoid it. It's courtesy, y'know?

I appreciate your input.

I already voiced my interest in further installments after helping with the edits. My fingers are crossed...

Comment posted by ArmedBrony deleted Sep 26th, 2013

I fucking approve this!!!!!!!:moustache::trollestia::yay::twilightsmile::raritystarry:

you are a sick sick piece of shit there is a special place in hell for a sick motherfucker like you:pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick:

By the way I reported this you sick son of a bitch

oooo that will show em' :rainbowlaugh:


I rated it Mature, gave it a sex tag and placed trigger warnings. If you read what I wrote after seeing it, then there is something wrong with you.

Is there going to be more?

That was awesome. I'll pile my own request for moar on the ever-growing pile.

This story will belong to my version of the "Columbineverse" that the parasprite is designing.

Just out of curiosity, though, what is the Columbineverse? I've never heard of it.

I'm curious, 3264935, why you think this is a 'sick piece of shit' when you're a member of several clopfic groups yourself.


A new universe in which a filly named "Columbine" is bought, sold, used and abused in sexual or non-sexual manners. It sounds horrid, I know, but I'm doing my own interpretation of the parasprite's character while he does his actual character. TittySparkles had a fic with her in it, too. I have a fic that I'll be releasing later in which Columbine is bought as a sex slave much like Button in this fic. Hence why she was mentioned in that little Thunderlane scene here.


I'm actually thinking of some ideas for it. I'll hopefully release a bonus chapter once I get it all compiled and organized. This chapter had good pacing (that I liked) and I don't want the next chapter to be boring and unexciting.


Eh, to each their own. Thanks for reading, anyways.


Did I put a "people" noun in there somewhere? Sorry if I did.

So was it 7 AM or 6 AM...?


Did I place some confusion? I mean, I said the drivers would come by at 6. If she wasn't there, they'd come back an hour later.


trollin' trollin' trollin', rawhiiiiide


Our drivers will pick you up tomorrow at 7AM sharp. If you happen to miss it, they will come back an hour later.

Octavia set the letter down, and looked over at the clock. "5:53AM..." Deciding not to waste any more time, Octavia trotted out of her house having been in the foyer, waiting for a knock to greet the "drivers", when they arrived.

So she either waited for the drivers for 1 hour and 7 minutes OR they were an hour early.


Woops! Heh, my bad. I'll fix that, thanks!

What is it about Fancypants?
Is it the mustache? :moustache:

Only I think this is the third fic I've read where he is a pimp and procurer of underage meat.


He was the only character that would've worked in this scenario.

-Stop it, boner.


I......don't know how I feel about this, so I won't upvote or downvote this.:trixieshiftright:


I respect your decision. :heart:

I loved this story and hope to see it continue.


Once I compile some of my ideas, I'll write a bonus chapter. The real story (in which involves Columbine) will be posted at a later date.

Amazing - you made every possible wrong decision when writing this! You have Octavia tell us she had to think about purchasing a colt, yet we don't show any of it and from the start of the story she's perfectly okay with the idea, for starters. But that's just a microcosm of the majority of the fic (I checked) being dedicated to the logistics of the purchase. Octavia has to take a three hour ride while blindfolded? That'd be a great way to set up the tone, or introduce how she learned about this and how she decided to engage in its services through flashbacks, but no, she just sleeps and the whole thing is skipped. The descriptions are barebones and do nothing for the story. It is somehow at once rushed and yet unbearably long because no detail about how she gets to the place can be skipped! There's also explaining the entire process of procuring payment which is wholly unnecessary and just prolongs the point. It was boring as hell.

The writing for the sex is somehow even worse. It feels cold and academic, like someone is literally transcribing this event, and it leads to the whole thing feeling lifeless. And then we get several gems like "Grabbing the jar of lubricant, she opened it and stuck the majority of the cock in it, giving it plenty of lubrication" with wonderful repetition. It's also repetitive.

The scene where Fancypants opens the first iron door to show all the other people here, that should be a glimpse into the seedy underbelly of Equestria, where right and wrong have no meaning in the face of the pursuit of earthly pleasure. What is it? A bunch of dudes doing jack shit - and I mean nothing because no verb describes them doing anything - and it is like this fic in a nutshell. What should be an exploration of dark desire feels more like the paperwork for buying an RV. Nothing is done right and everything is done in the least interesting way possible.

It sucks.


Oh. It's you.

Well, your critique is taken into consideration.

Well... that was a little more than messed up. :rainbowderp:

Still, it was well written, and feelings of abject horror and disgust from reading a story are entirely reasonable to shoot for in writing - not every story can, or should, leave you feeling happy afterwards.

You have my hesitant approval for continuing this.


So, after some careful reading of your critique (re-read it a few times to really analyze it to some extent), I have to say... I agree with you.

This isn't my best piece of writing and I'm not a great writer. This story was sex for the sake of sex and bland sex at that. You clearly found no arousal or any entertainment in it, and I respect and I'm glad you voiced your opin sorry, your objectiveness to it. But, to be honest on my part: I don't see why you bothered with this fic in the first place. I mean, you seem smarter than the average user and you should have, immediately, noticed this was not going to be done well. I gave an obvious sign when I admitted to writing this for someone else. I don't know, I have gripe with wasting a user's time and it's obvious I wasted yours. Sorry for that.

Anyways, although your critique is harsh and explicit, it still gives me insight on how to improve. Clearly I need more words to describe aspects of scenes that are important to the reader.

But, the blindfold scene: I don't understand your gripe there. I don't think you want to read about a three hour trip of Octavia sleeping or read about her sexual thoughts. It ruins the build-up to the sex at the end of the fic. If I had sex in the immediate beginning, wouldn't you agree that it would kill anything else in this fic? But, I'm basing this off of my opinions and personal writing style. I prefer to keep the sex at the end so the reader sees the build-up a little.

Also, I used lube once. Don't see the repetitiveness there.

i Loved it, and I really hope you do write more


I'll write one more chapter once I get some ideas together.


Not the shooting of Columbine, if that's what you're mistaking it for.


Columbine (as mentioned in this story) is a young filly character that was created by the parasprite. Since there are going to be a few stories about her (all of them sex related) I decided to dub it the "Columbineverse" as they all relate to this filly's sex adventures.

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