Hanky Panky Pinkie Pie

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Comments ( 9 )

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The Sergeant

The Sergeant #1 · Jan 20th, 2014 · · · The Birth of a Champion ·

Lives up to its tags.

MerlosTheMad

MerlosTheMad #2 · Jan 20th, 2014 · · · The Birth of a Champion ·

Sheer Brilliance.

I did enjoy that punchline at the ending, particularly.

epreeses1

epreeses1 #3 · Jan 20th, 2014 · · · The Birth of a Champion ·

Hi, remember me? This was great, I loved the ending, but I do want to point out a few highlights, and one question if you don't mind.
Thank you

“That’s because I’m such a positive influence!” the earth pony said in a sing-song voice.

Why did you say "the earth pony said"? The reader knows it's Pinkie Pie talking, which leads me to think of LUS; not sure if that's what you were going for. Maybe you were comparing Pinkie Pie to Rainbow Dash. I'm not sure.

What’s going on with her? Pinkie thought. I’ve never seen Twilight acting this shy before!

I was about to say you should hide Twilight's love for Big Mac, but when I read this, it made sense. Good going

"The Cube of Decisions has spoken!

That is funny; having your ruler decide who's to blame by using a die.

The nature of the issue gives me reason to believe that these pregnancies are not natural.

Are you going somewhere with this?

ShadeTail

ShadeTail #4 · Jan 20th, 2014 · · · The Birth of a Champion ·

So far, much more entertaining than a "mature" rated story usually turns out to be. I've put this on my read later list so I can keep track of it.

PegasusMesa

PegasusMesa #5 · Jan 20th, 2014 · 1 · · The Birth of a Champion ·

3818772
Heya epreeses! Lemme address a few of your questions.

Why did you say "the earth pony said"?

I tried putting Pinkie's name in there, but it sounded a bit repetitive, and I try to attribute dialogue more often than not. Probably I could've done better than "the earth pony", though.