• Member Since 14th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen March 9th

Shadowflash


If you have any issues with getting your story on the site or any personal issues (eg: depression), PM me. Please don't add me to random Skype groups without asking. Thank you.

Comments ( 241 )
Comment posted by Shadowflash deleted Dec 15th, 2012

Point out any errors. This version might be unedited. I'll edit this comment once it is.

I just wanted to get into the proper story-post times when it was posted.

Anyways, 2nd attempt at 2nd person. First at Anthro. Enjoy!

came for the picture, stayed for the story. :pinkiehappy: good job.

1802939

Glad you enjoyed!

well, it had the best of all, altho the eye colour im always alittle iffy with but thats it and im not gonna let it ruin a good story.

You did it. After so long, you finally asked. The year-or-so wait was enough for you, and you had to ask her. The look on her face; those bright, magenta eyes lit up like like stars. She showered you with kisses, bursting with joy, and even lifted the both of you with her magic. The moment was a dream come true, much like meeting the girl -- or mare, in this case -- of your dreams.

First Error Spotted.... two likes. Get rid of one of them...
and looking for more....

Comment posted by 142 with an 8 deleted Dec 15th, 2012

There is plenty of slang terms in this fic...
Anyways good story.....:twilightsmile:
Hmmm... will read again soon.....

Well this'll be featured most likely.. Lol:rainbowlaugh:

Niiiiiice.:moustache::moustache:

Dat author's note: :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:

Not bad, not bad at all, have a stache or two :moustache::moustache:

Dat cover picture :rainbowkiss:

Thanks for reading this. I thought Vinyl was quite...

*Takes off glasses*

Finger lickin' good.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

This story was really good though :3

Will read later.

I am not going to clop to it however.

Alright. I loved it. :pinkiehappy:I am jealous. I admit, you're fairly better writer than I am. Which isn't saying much, but I just want to put that out there. :twilightsmile:
Secondly: I have story for Vinyl in the works too, and I wanted to use that as a cover pic. You got to it before me! :twilightangry2: :rainbowlaugh:

Good thing I have a back up. :moustache: Though it doesn't even compare to Fox's work.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/325/9/d/to_a_fan_like_you__abronylife_request__by_fillyfeill-d5lp95u.png

But anyway, there is one or two things I want to point out that I enjoyed(the sex, of course,) and a small word I noticed you may want to fix.

Here we go:

Besides, you were mostly an ass man.

How did you know? :trixieshiftright: :yay: So much win.

Also the chapter says, 1: Moving in With a Wubster. Gives me the idea that your going to continue this, but you already said it was a one shot. Though I would like to know more about "you" and Vinyl go through as a couple. I'm not very good at that sort of thing, but I enjoy other writers that can. I can see you continuing this, and I highly suggest you do. :twilightsmile: I don't typically see Vinyl being the lovey dovey type, but this side of her is still pretty good. So no complaints there. I might be over analyzing a simple clopfic, but anthro is kind of my thing. So this intrigued my interests, naturally. :moustache:

The two things you may want to fix is this:

Vinyl's ears perk up, and she glares at you; a cute smile is spread across her face.

Glare means, in this case, to stare with a fiercely or angrily piercing look.
I don't think she was about to cuss "me" out. You actually used it a couple of times, so I was thinking everybody was angry at me. What I do them, huh? :rainbowlaugh:

I also saw some tense errors, but I'll probably get flak for evening mention that because since you read A Core of an Apple. There were a lot, and that was basically my fault. Since I did read that story 4 times and still missed them. :facehoof:

Other than that, good job, and I look forward to more Anthro stories from you, if you do more that is. :pinkiehappy:

inspired by a damn good clopfic? cover art by foxinshadow (i recongnized it at once).
You may proceed :pinkiehappy:

1803583
You obviously don't know me that well.

The story itself was fairly good.
HOWEVER!
If I can say one thing that needs absolute changing, it is that you should add a bunch more detail to the orgasm scene. A simple "cum and done" sentence like that is kind of a boner killer.

very very good!

....

very GOOD!

아주좋아!

Daynum!!!! Awesome story!!

You descend down from her neck, to her chest. Realizing she still has her sweater on, you gently tug at the bottom of it, lift her arms, and slid it off. You're greeted by her black-laced bra. Her breasts were cupped in them, and you slid your hands to them. Softly, you squeezed their tenderness. Although they were small, they still felt good to play with. Besides, you were mostly an ass man. Vinyl's breasts were find as they are.

Vinyl let a few moans escape above you as your caressed her tender breasts. Slowly, you ease yourself further, sliding yourself to her stomach. You could see it rise and fall with her chest, and couldn't help but place a few tender kisses on your stomach.

I doubt he's trying to kiss his own stomach :p

Good story bro, tell it again!

There should not be any highercase letters after the ";".

However I did like this, and I hope that you will both do a sequal and add some more sex details regarding the 'end'.:pinkiesmile:

Well, never read a VS shipping story that ships her with an OC or self-insert... Dis gon b gud

Gewd... Very gewd... But, hey... Is VS in anthro form or something?

1803849>>1803549>>1802998

Thanks for pointing out those errors. Fixed em.


Side note to everyone else: Featured. Thanks so much! I'm so happy. :rainbowkiss:

1804058

Yeah, she is. Sorry if it didn't catch on quite well. But, she is. :rainbowkiss:

1803549

Also, thank you for commenting on my story. A Core Of An Apple was quite good, besides all the errors. I just couldn't help myself when this came to mind. I also had Vinyl Scratch's anthro form as my background for quite a while ever since I visited your page. God by damned if I don't declare that it's hot myself. :rainbowkiss:

1804065 Oh, sorry didn't notice you had mentioned her as anthro in the description. But, epic story bro! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: Have some moustaches and a brohoof!

1804085

Thanks! I enjoy you reading it. I feel so happy right now. :pinkiesmile:

1804088 Hehe! 'Course! Your story isn't one of my top favorites just yet, but if you keep stories like this up, I might just have to! :yay:

Also, thank you for commenting on my story. A Core Of An Apple was quite good, besides all the errors. I just couldn't help myself when this came to mind. I also had Vinyl Scratch's anthro form as my background for quite a while ever since I visited your page. God by damned if I don't declare that it's hot myself. :rainbowkiss:

It's no problem dude. It really was all Reaper's story. I just had a small hand in it.
And no argument there about the picture. It's on my ipod touch back ground. :rainbowlaugh:

1804102

If Fox's rates weren't so damn high, I'd purchase some art off him. God damn it! :ajsleepy:

will read later, THIS I SWEAR!!

I don't ike clop, but I wanted to know why this was featured.
I read all the way the the part where he starts thinking about sex. and then stopped.

It was good up to that point, I'll say that much.
I certainly wouldn't mind reading a non-sexual story about this kind of relationship.
Erm, I'd say good job... But I still don't approve of clop. anyway bye.

1804263

It's fine to disapprove of clop. No worries. It's why I left it at the end. :pinkiesmile:

1803038
Well yeah, "2nd person fic" seems to be another thing on the list of "instant feature box" stories.

1804325

If it's wrote up well, of course!

1804328
Not exactly a requirement. I've seen some pretty "meh" 2nd-person fics get featured immediately.

1804330

Well, shoot me twice and call me a liar if my first 2nd person didn't get featured. :rainbowlaugh:

No, but, thanks for the read! :rainbowkiss:

Son, I am disappoint.

1802773 What's wrong with being a demon it's fun.:trollestia:

1802964 Her eyes' iris are magenta, you can see them in A Royal Canterlot Wedding part 2.

You...

You've accomplished something no one else has ever done.
YOU have made me read an anthro/humanised pony story!

1804504
Cerise! Not Magenta, Cerise!

Her eye color is also revealed in A Canterlot Wedding - Part 2 to be Moderate cerise, the same as that of Rainbow Dash.

Taken directly from the wiki.

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