• Member Since 12th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 28th, 2023

Comet Burst

The man without a plan.

Comments ( 633 )

So you're doing it, eh?
Let us begin. :rainbowdetermined2:

Alright I'm down but for real work on Golden Armor part 2:twilightoops: please :fluttercry:

Well, give it more than 10 hours Vi! Most pregnancy tests can't even tell until at least 2 weeks have passed!

And you, Comet! That's right, I'm talking to you, broseph!

...Awesome story...:fluttershyouch:

Ba da ba b aba I'm lovin' it.

I think a sad tag is due since the the characters self confidence is a bit... disturbed.

I'm not sure how to actually phrase it but I think the sad tag is sort of understood. (I hope.)

Reading the description pretty much freaked me out, because...

...I play the Viola. :twilightoops:

Have for quite some time.

I will never look at it the same again.

my eye sight must sucks,:coolphoto: whats her cutie mark

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid someone say Bat-pony? :pinkiehappy:

Dayyyymn, featured already??? :pinkiegasp:

Well, I'll be keeping tabs on this for sure.

Just noticed, your short description mentions an "Echo", but Viola is clearly the mare in this story. Is this a derp or is there something you're not telling us? :duck:

(On an urelated note, you uploaded this on my birthday!)
Well... the begining was made akward by the fact I was eating a banna in a very akward way... well at least we know why favriote fruits banna (Am I right, guys? Wink, wink.)

"Plot" twist: she goes to Canterlot and meets evreyones favroite royal guard...
Hah, lets see where this goes, shall we?
Nice joj (-1 if you get that.)

It was me not paying attention. I was going to name her Echo, but changed it to Viola halfway through.
:facehoof: I know.

3211819 Now every time you play the viola, you'll think about playing with a bat pony mare.

I'll let you enjoy that mental image. :twilightsmile:

Fantastic as usual. Good job

A purple heart wrapped by black ink.
I think you don't realize just how long she has been doing this...


Added to my watch list with extreme prejudice.

Well, I'm sold. The MOMENT we got to the idea of being unable to give birth, I was reminded of the Krogan. MASS EFFECT FEELS.

And Vi, it takes at least TEN DAYS for semen to enter the womb AND get to the egg. Even then, it might be delayed a bit. Or do ponies get impregnated faster than people?

awesome like usual

Fourteen out of fifteen are infertile? If you presume a equal birth rate of fillies and colts, each fertile mare would need to have at least thirty children on average just to maintain the colony. :unsuresweetie:

Am I to take it that Viola doesn't believe that a kid should have the right to know who their father is, or have a male role model in their lives?

just reading the description... you are amazing.


So interbreeding with other ponies is frowned on by batponies? Why? One would think it's the obvious, logical thing to do.

I... have a strange urge... :pinkiesmile:

Whoo, the story is out! Super awesome!


Well, we should also consider that not just females can be infertile. They could be perfectly virile females, but if the male is lacking the component, then those 14 will never know. Of course, I'm assuming a loving monogamous relationship for both parties. It would be that 14 of only 7.5 out of 15 batpony females are barren.

This is further supported by this line.

If she couldn't have one with a bat pony stallion, then she would have one with a stallion outside her colony.

Of course, due to her unsuccessfulness, we could ALSO consider two things. Either A) Batponies are incapable of mating with other races, or B) Viola is simply one of these infertile mares.

Also, further evidence:

However, pursuing her dream has made her... different than other mares.

Again, Im assuming loving, single monogamous relationships are the norm among the Batties. By having a mare more or less "sleep around" this would make her very different.

Good story. Definitely seeing where this goes.

Okay, this seems a bit... out there for a story that takes itself somewhat seriously.

Unless bat ponies give birth to ARMIES of children, there is no way the race survived. It's biologically impossible. I mean, this is a story about little (bat) ponies, but there is only so much you can stretch the facts. The story would've just said "Hey, Viola is sterile" and call it a day. But saying "you're fucking lucky if you find a female batpony that's able to give birth" ISN'T the way to go. Much less if chances are that Viola WILL have a foal, which will basically slap in the face of everything.

I mean, you're unable to have children. Interracial boning is a hot topic in porn, but it's not the cure for infertility. This plot makes no fucking sense.

I just... I'm sorry. I can't.


One out of fifteen can give birth


How in hell does that race survive, unless the females give birth to entire football teams?

After reading this story, though rather eh... Graphic in the beginning, I felt it was a wellmade story that I genuinely enjoyed. 5/5 stars.

I'm going to assume you haven't read my story The Golden Armor, which is what this is based off, so I'm going to tell you that yes, the fertile females do indeed give birth to literal football teams of foals, which is why the race is still around. However, their problem of infertility isn't very widely known, so it makes them reclusive and even more weird to other ponies. Viola's premise is to have a foal at any cost, which may or may not be the whole plot of the story.

EDIT: I also didn't say Viola was very smart, so she apparently hasn't made the connection that infertile mean she can't have foals regardless of how many stallions she's with.

3213557 Well, haven't read much of it, so no I don't. It would be nice if you included that in this story so that people who read this aren't required to read the others so that giant plotholes are filled. There are some types of stories that leaving information in other stories to fix seemingly large plotholes works with, but this stories is not in that genre.

Well, I was going to explain that in the second chapter where I flesh out Viola and Glimmer more, but I didn't get around to finishing it last night. Expect it to be up later today.

Also, I didn't figure many people outside my usual group of followers would actually take a large interest in this, much like the original Golden Armor.:facehoof:

3213575 Another issue that arises... unless Batponies give birth to microbabies, how the fuck can they hold entire classical orchestras worth of children in their uteruses?

They don't use birth control there, meaning that a fertile mare ovulates once about every three months. In my other stories, one of them has given birth to at least twenty foals in her lifetime. So, in retrospect, it may not be a football team, but rather a baseball team.

And yes, she is seriously sick and messed up from it.

3213603 Ah, so it's not all at once, okay.

Make sure to include this information sometime in the story so that you don't have more people asking about it.

MORE MORE MOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:

Hmm first person? Eh... not really a fan... But its not bad.

Oh good, just as I finished the first chapter!

About time I got to reading this...

Damn... okay, send me to her, I'll stay until she gets her wish.

Is the reason she's doing this because she wants a natural birth?
Well, nevertheless, some slight back story, I suppose. So yay for that.
I need a map, because I have not the slightest idea where this is heading...
And also, if she's looking for a birth, why doesn't she go to a lab and use that method where they combine the cells and then put them back in? I don't remember the name, or the process of the method, so forgive me if I am just rambling at this point..

And hurry up and upload the next chapter of TGA 2, Executor.

You know Vi, maybe there's more going on then just 'rut every stallion you see'.

Maybe... you need to find the right stallion.

Oh... and I bet Comet's been there a few times, right?

Dude, you gave me my love for bat ponies. Thank you!


Artificial insemination is the name of the process, and it's the application of male sperm to the female egg, which is then implanted in the uterus for proper child growth (I'm no scientist, so don't quote me on this. Google's there, do some research.) That also would not work, as it's her that's infertile. They'd have to get both an egg from another female, and sperm from another male, then use her uterus as the birth area. This wouldn't really be 'natural' as her DNA isn't contributing to the process.

Still, it's an available method if she decides to go that route.

That is, of course, assuming Equestria is anywhere near that state in medical technology. Humans are pretty advanced thus far, and we've only just made that method available. And you know how trained the docs are and how exact the machinery is.

I don't think I'd want a unicorn going anywhere near the very specific cells in my wife's body, just so they can do artificial insemination. That'd be... well, they're pretty small targets, I'll say that much.

Also, I've really gotta ask.

If batpony mares are so infertile, why haven't stallions started going outside the colony and having kids? That's the only way I can see this species surviving is if the stallions don't only bed batponies.

Could be an alternate story Dark route for this as well, with the batponies actually kidnapping fertile mares from around the colony, just so they can keep their species alive until someone finds a solution to their fertility problem.

Because going outside of the colony to have foals will not necessarily result in bat ponies. Thus, the stallions are encouraged to mate with the fertile ones to keep the species as a whole alive.


Worth a shot anyway. Though I suppose the Dark route would be more suited to this situation, since the stallions could just keep trying and trying until they get something right.

And even then, it's not totally certain it'd work. So maybe being an infertile mare is better than being fertile?

And that's the delicious irony I've been playing at in this series.


Not bad. The plot still makes no sense unless the fertile mares are near-constantly pregnant (which would likely lead to a lot of problems as you said), and batponies would be furiously protective of their territory, but not bad on the irony.

And that goes back to the original story that started this, The Golden Armor. Yes, the fertile mares are always pregnant and the colonies are very protective of them, which is why my other bat pony OC, Angel, is as far away from her colony as she can be.

Aww.... poor Vi... for some reason, I think a deal with the demons of Tartarus is in order. Maybe even have a demon BE the father. I quote Nick Cage, Ghost Rider 2:

I get it. You're the devil's baby momma.

Sorry, couldn't pass up the chance. I like this story, keep it up!

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