• Member Since 12th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen March 9th

Comet Burst


The man without a plan.

E
Source

This story is a sequel to A Day in the Life


Butterscotch, the luckiest and most unlucky pony at the same time. He's a hit with the mares, but only because they feel sorry for him. Stallions hate him for his successes with the mares, but secretly pester him day and night about how he charms them. What's a poor stallion like Butterscotch going to do, especially when he gets something all the other stallions want?








R63 Fluttershy, Big Mac and Cheerilee. Love triangles ftw!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 140 )

OH BOY HERE WE GO~

Alright boys! Are you ready a helluva ride!?
Let's do this!

FOR THE EMPEROR!!1!

Is the wrong first impression 'oh this cant end well'

I'm rather curious to see how you build this little world.

Dam fluttershy is cute even as a stallion, full homo.

Another contiuneation EXCELLENT:pinkiehappy:

The cyan stallion slowly shook his head and looked down at his friends.

His eyes glowed a sickly, eldritch green while writhing violet wisps of dark magic began to stream from the corners. Inky black smoke coalesced around his body. Blitz opened his mouth and spoke in an unequine voice overlaid with the chorus of the damned in Tartarus.


"Ċ̡̱̖ͅR̞͡Y̲͚̠̊͛ͩ̒ͅS͍͇̻̠̱̝̈́ͩ͠ͅT̬̰̞̪̱̪ͩͦ̂̉̊͞A̔̓ͫ͋̽ͥ̚͏͎̱̤ḼͤṠ̒!!"

Butterscotch gave a quiet "Eeep!" and cowered behind Dusk Shine.

Dusk simply sighed and facehoofed.

"Not again. Solaris banish it!"

I can alresdy see where this is going

I have one reaction, and one reaction only.

FUCK YEAH!!

I see what you did there... :ajbemused:


And I like it! :ajsmug:

Look, as long as I get more Red Gala I'll be happy.

Yeah....

Can I have some MOAR?:flutterrage:

Wow thats TWO pony related Beatles references I've seen.

Already loved A Day in the Life, and then I wake up to see this.

Now to survive the work day for this.

I don't remember Rainbow ever being THAT much of a dick, man. Tone that down, please.

do you know how much i've wanted this?

do you?

I will read this, because it is probably why TGA Part 2 too so long.

So... Is this a side fic to On A Cross And Arrow?

So this has been bugging me and I want to get it out there...

It's very well written, both this and the prequel. And I think it's a very accurate sense of what a R63, male dominated equestria would be like.

And as a brony, I gotta say... I hate male dominated Equestria.

Rainbow Blitz bugs the crap out of me. Rarity's version also drives me up the wall. Berry seems like the worst kind of frat guy. Only Dusk and Buttershop are okay, and even then, the fact that the mares constantly feel under attack.... I hate it.

But would I change a thing about these stories? No. I think that's how it would go down.

Basically, these stories have made me realize how much I prefer Equestria just the way it is. I will keep reading because of the skill on display, and because Big Gala and Butterscotch are an oddly affecting pair, but man, am I glad the show is not like this.

Rainbow Blitz is like the guy in the polo shirt who makes all my female friends life hell on a regular basis.

3001063
I kind of agree. While this is written very well and is a pretty good story, I'm glad that they set up Equestria the way they did. Honestly this seems like it would be an accurate representation of gender-swapped Equestria.

3000083
I don't think it's that Dash is such a dick, but that Blitz is a huge dick, since it's a gender-swapped Equestria, and that mixing Dash with Testosterone would result in a massive douchebag.

3001063 Disclaimer #1: I haven't yet read the first story in this series.
Disclaimer #2: I ask to understand you, not to change you.

Why do you accept Dash and reject Blitz? Both are showboating athletes with inflated egos. The only difference I have seen so far is that Blitz uses it to flirt; Dash would probably be doing the same if MLP wasn't a kid's show, with similar results.
Why do you accept Rarity and reject (IDon'tRememberTheR63Name)? Is the flamboyant designer stereotype more offensive when applied to males than when applied to females? I should note here that I cannot relate to Rarity, but I find an equal disconnection in almost every character that uses the word "fabulous" to describe clothing.
Why accept Applejack and reject AJ?

And finally, Pinkie/Berry. I realize that the author has probably added alcohol to Equestria, which would permit a fratboy. With that in mind:
If Berry threw non-alcoholic parties, would you still reject his behavior? If so, why not reject Pinkie?
If Pinkie threw alcoholic parties, would you reject her behavior? If not, why reject Berry?

HAH! Classic last line there. I wonder what actually happened, then? Ooooh, the suspense is killing me!

Dammit Comet, now I have to fav ANOTHER one of your stories! I have to say that these two have been done very well. It's exactly how I think an R63 Equestria would work. I find it funny how the stallions fight with each other all the time. Guy friends to the end!

Although, Cross and Arrow was also fairly convincing...perhaps a middle ground between the two. I feel like there are a few cases where the stallions act just a bit too crazy.

3000083 I have to agree with 3001235 on this one.

3001357

Fair is fair- these elements are much more present in the earlier story. Each mare gets harassed in particularly icky ways from one if not all of the stallions mentioned. And Blitz is just awful to scotch. I read the first story in full before getting to te new story, and I may be carrying over things that aren't as present in the new story.

I guess it's the constant desire to impress/dominate/own all the mares that Blitz sees that makes him so unlovable. Also the fact that with Dash, there is a loyalty core that appears to be nothing but lip service from Blitz. Dash is many things, but not a bully that leaves Flutturshy behind and takes her lunch money. Blitz does both to Scotch.

Bizarro Rarity- his compliments are all just to get laid. Again, this is more present in the prequel, but it makes all of his geneorsity seem like a sham.

Berry- there seems to be a general lack of acknowledgment for any other ponies feelings. Pinkie wants to party, but wants everypony to have a good time at her parties. Berry just wants to party, it seems like, and other ponies are irrelevant.


Note: I forgot about AJ. No real problems with AJ.

3001063>>3001357

1. R63 Rarity's name is Elusive. th08.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2011/120/2/b/profile_elusive_by_trotsworth-d3f8q5s.png
2. Dash does this all the time to Fluttershy, just in a not so aggressive way. (Sonic Rainboom, May the Best Pet Win, Dragonshy, Hearth Warming Eve, ect.)
3. I haven't introduced Bubble Berry yet, and in my previous story he's not a frat boy.
4. The mares in my R63-verse scare the stallions more than they are oppressed by them.

EDIT: My previous story was focused on the mares of the town, not the stallions. This story will address the Mane 6 directly instead of them annoying the inhabitants of Ponyville as side characters. Blitz and Elusive would have some very callous personalities if they existed for two reasons: 1. They are both show-offs and 2. They are the most confrontational. Dash and AJ compete at everything and Rarity has a very precarious relationship with Sweetie Belle. Translate that from girls to guys and you would get something like how I tried to portray them.

3001489

1) I think you're doing a really good job with these stories. I don't think you should change anything.

2) I think a lot of this is coming from the previous story, which bubbled over into this one. I should have commented on the previous story. Sorry. :ajsleepy:

3) I also didn't mean to say that Berry was ACTUALLY a frat boy, that was just the vibe I got. Pardon my poor choice of words. As for Dash/Blitz and Scotch/Shy, reasonable minds can disagree, but I've yet to see Blitz do one nice thing for Butterscotch, and Dash does care about Fluttershy.

However:

4. The mares in my R63-verse scare the stallions more than they are oppressed by them.

Disagree? The feeling I got from your previous story is that it's like this (and by this I mean specifically how Sugarcube was treated) day in, day out... like they're on display to be gawked at by Stallions.

Yes, the stallions were scared by Gala's rampage, but in general it felt like the mares were being beset by all sides, especially since there were many more stallions than mares. Tension and anxiety everywhere.

But whether you meant to or not, the world you've painted for me is one that I'm very, very glad isn't in the show, because it's not a happy place for a mare to be. (At least not recently, there is some mention that things have gotten more flirty and harrasy in recent times.)

Maybe that's how the stallions feel in the show, as they are outnumbered? Unlikely, given that the mares aren't constantly treating them like pieces of meat, but possible.

Just one guy's opinion. I like your style very much, as well as your command of character.

3001468 Thank-you. That clears everything (except Rarity/Elusive) up, and makes me quite glad I included the disclaimers. I had assumed that the conversion was as faithful in the Berry/Elusive/Blitz cases as it was in the Dusk/Scotch/AJ cases.

Even with the differences in the ways that some guys express friendship (casual insults, the occasional scuffle), Blitz's behavior seems unacceptable.
Your description of Berry also indicates that something got lost in translationgender.

I still don't see too much difference between Rarity/Elusive. Were MLP not a kid's show, I can easily see Rarity doing the same. (Eg. Acquiring asparagus in "Putting Your Hoof Down". Put that same behavior toward acquiring romance, and...)

EDIT: Reading the older story, the "takes her lunch money" bit may be out of context. Blitz tries to demonstrate (to AJ) that Scotch is a pushover by telling him to give 5 bits; this is followed by a groan when Scotch acquiesces. I think this is reason enough to assume that the money was either summarily rejected or returned, and thus this action would easily be something that Dash might do.
Keep in mind that it is not generally considered mean to say "Did you know that someone wrote 'gullible' on the ceiling?"

EDIT #2: Hmm. I now see why you have problems with the Elusive translation. Something does seem to have been lost. There also does seem to be a "male vs. female" mentality throughout the previous work. I suspect, however, that it's more the writer and his attempt to create such a world than the characters themselves.

3001538
Eh, I'm not upset by your opinion. :twilightsmile: Everybody has their own one.

What I did with the previous story (last comment about it!) was just goof around with the mares of the R63-verse. The idea was to have three very different reactions to the world around them. Sugarsnap's (Caramel's) story was me just playing around with how a mare might react to a male dominated world while making Elusive, Dusk and Bubble look silly.

3002016

Dude...fix your shit...

ANYWAYS

This has good potential, and I now must go read the original!

The way you wrote how an Element bearer putting on another Element would result in that Element rejecting its holder is really interesting.

Too bad it can only happen to Element bearers and not other creatures. Otherwise, I wonder what would've happened to Spike when Twilight put the Element of Loyalty on him.

Yes. Yes for the story, the writing, the grammar, and the rest of my yes for... Whatever awesome stuff I didn't mention. (That means the rest of the story.)

Shouldn't there be a romance tag? It certainly seems odd at this point. The description even makes it sound like a romance, which would seem odd to people just stumbling onto the story.

3001489 I'll disagree with assessment of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy's relationship, but that's a conversation for a different thread.

I do like your take on the mane six as males though. I could see them having much the same feelings about each other, but expressed in much more aggressive ways. They're not really grown men yet, after all.

Go Butterscotch :yay:

SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- Oh, excuse me, that last scene was just really cute. Way to go Butterscotch. I am curious, why did you decide to change :unsuresweetie::scootangel:&:applecry: to these new manes instead of their usual rule 63 names

Go Butterscotch.

Okay, NOW we're having fun.

Elusive's 'deathbed' confession FTW.

Way to grow a pair Butterscotch!:yay:

Weakly, Elusive's remaining visible eyes fluttered open

How many eyes does this dude have?! :pinkiegasp:

Well, this has my attention now! Congratulations!
Waiting for the next chapter with excitement :)

Rainbow Blitz is such a jerk! :twilightoops:

Butterscotch is adorable! :twilightsmile:

Buttah-Scotch :rainbowkiss::heart:

Fun fact: Spike's R63 name isn't Spines, it's Barb - short for Barbara.
I've been meaning to tell you this since the second chapter of A Day In The Life, but always forgot.

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