Is the reason she's doing this because she wants a natural birth? Well, nevertheless, some slight back story, I suppose. So yay for that. I need a map, because I have not the slightest idea where this is heading... And also, if she's looking for a birth, why doesn't she go to a lab and use that method where they combine the cells and then put them back in? I don't remember the name, or the process of the method, so forgive me if I am just rambling at this point..
And hurry up and upload the next chapter of TGA 2, Executor.
Artificial insemination is the name of the process, and it's the application of male sperm to the female egg, which is then implanted in the uterus for proper child growth (I'm no scientist, so don't quote me on this. Google's there, do some research.) That also would not work, as it's her that's infertile. They'd have to get both an egg from another female, and sperm from another male, then use her uterus as the birth area. This wouldn't really be 'natural' as her DNA isn't contributing to the process.
Still, it's an available method if she decides to go that route.
That is, of course, assuming Equestria is anywhere near that state in medical technology. Humans are pretty advanced thus far, and we've only just made that method available. And you know how trained the docs are and how exact the machinery is.
I don't think I'd want a unicorn going anywhere near the very specific cells in my wife's body, just so they can do artificial insemination. That'd be... well, they're pretty small targets, I'll say that much.
If batpony mares are so infertile, why haven't stallions started going outside the colony and having kids? That's the only way I can see this species surviving is if the stallions don't only bed batponies.
Could be an alternate story Dark route for this as well, with the batponies actually kidnapping fertile mares from around the colony, just so they can keep their species alive until someone finds a solution to their fertility problem.
3214584 Because going outside of the colony to have foals will not necessarily result in bat ponies. Thus, the stallions are encouraged to mate with the fertile ones to keep the species as a whole alive.
Worth a shot anyway. Though I suppose the Dark route would be more suited to this situation, since the stallions could just keep trying and trying until they get something right.
And even then, it's not totally certain it'd work. So maybe being an infertile mare is better than being fertile?
Not bad. The plot still makes no sense unless the fertile mares are near-constantly pregnant (which would likely lead to a lot of problems as you said), and batponies would be furiously protective of their territory, but not bad on the irony.
3214627 And that goes back to the original story that started this, The Golden Armor. Yes, the fertile mares are always pregnant and the colonies are very protective of them, which is why my other bat pony OC, Angel, is as far away from her colony as she can be.
Aww.... poor Vi... for some reason, I think a deal with the demons of Tartarus is in order. Maybe even have a demon BE the father. I quote Nick Cage, Ghost Rider 2:
I get it. You're the devil's baby momma.
Sorry, couldn't pass up the chance. I like this story, keep it up!
Why is she so afraid of the Clinics? And if so many bat ponies are becoming infertile, how is the Bat pony race still around? Is this a recent development or something? And hasn't anybody tried LOOKING for what it is that is wrong with them? Some kind of disease or something?
3214736 All questions that will be answered in good time. However, I think her flashback made it obvious why she doesn't like clinics or, more specifically, doctors.
Urrrg It makes me sad because I really like you as an writer but this main character is completely unlikeable! Almost hateful! I mean she has almost no redeeming qualities, she wants to use as many guys as she can grasp in order to fuel her selfish desire to have a kid and not care about the father in the slightest. She sees guys as nothing but walking sperm dispensers, I mean she does not even remember the stallions face or name for goodness sake! I know that this might but a point of character growth but the thing is that she shows no desire to change her attitude at all and no other positive qualities I can rally for. I'll continue to read for now but I am not liking this character at all, I just hope that growth in her character will occur rather quickly.
3214743 Not really. It gives me the idea that she is afraid somebody would find her infertile there, but it was also a clinic that said she WAS fertile. I don't really see any reason for her to be afraid of doctors. Infertility? definitely. Doctors? No.
And given her lifestyle, a doctor would be a REALLY good thing to have around, so she can get treated in case she catches something that WILL make her infertile.
3214788 I enjoy your writing so I will continue to read, its just gonna take a while to get used to this bitch character . I suppose the longer the fall the greater the rise.
I must say, I always find myself curious when reading comments on stories; rather than waiting and finding out why some things are the way they are over time, many people feel the need to ask and learn early why. To me, that's like reading the end of a book before even starting.
I simply find myself holding out with baited breath, eager to learn more, but at the author's behest.
I felt myself snap after that. My poor father was the first one I attacked, screaming about how much I hated him as I pummeled his face with my hooves. My adoptive mother frantically tried to stop me, but instead got a kick to her rib-cage that obviously fractured at least three of them. I ran out of my home after that, straight to the doctor where my whole life had started crashing down. I don't remember how, but I somehow was able to break his right foreleg, making him tell me how I could possibly get pregnant. I was in a haze at the time, but the parts I remember were of him explaining that he didn't know why mares of our kind were becoming infertile and that if I tried it with stallions not of the bat pony species, I might get different results. I took that as a confirmation that I was indeed fertile and vowed I would prove him wrong with a foal one day.
3215070. HAHAHA LOL...Sounds like a sad story...I can hear taps playing right now...no srsly I live next to air force base its 10:00 P:M lights out. Burrrrr burr burrrrrrrrrr....but burr burrrrrrr....burrr burr burrrrrrrrr burr burr burrrrrrrrrrr burrr burrrr burr burrrrrrrrr...burrburrrrrrrrrr.
3216971 actually sex itself is just something all creatures do on instinct. In fact: love can be argued was just invented by our brains because humans can defy instincts and we needed a reason to justify it.
So your example is more like a bird without talon nails. Still totally works, but unable to do everything is it meant to nor defend itself well from others.
3217038 Its not wrong at all. The great thing about literacy in itself is that if you have your own reasons to back it up then you are allowed to argue anything! Though I do question what traits you actually like about the character because I can't find any!
3216773 It depends on how twisted your feminine views are. It sounds like some of the girls you know are extreme feminists (or femi-nazis to be comedic) who want men completely off the planet and to just store their sperm in banks. However this is the minority.
Aren't we all a little misguided in things, love of course not being the least of those things? I like seeing that sort of thing in mlp characters from time to time myself, because it is such an innocent world.
But I usually make the argument people make the mlp world TOO much like ours. Very few authors write it in a way that reflects its roots. Still, occasionally I can forget 95% of mlp fanfics aren't at all innocent and enjoy something for what it is.
3217474 I see what you are trying to say but it just does not sit right with me at all. Misguided love to my eyes is along the lines of Harley Quinn, she is insane and she is an awful person with no regard for human life but she is doing it for Joker, her love. Which is why it works because it is for her own twisted interpretation of love. Viola is not doing it for love, shes doing it just to get a foal with zero regard for the other member of the party. I see that as no different than a man sleeping with a girl and never calling her again. Character Y has sex with character X just to get something Y wants (for Viola its a foal, for the male in my hypothetical story its pleasure). I don't see your culture argument either. As far as we know from the show, the culture of Equestria is much like ours (A Utopian version of it anyway) and at least in my view, cannot excuse this kind of selfish behavior.
This is actually a very intriguing story. In fact, I don't think I've ever read a fic even similar to this. The need to breed and desire to be sired despite her infertile hurtle. I like it. It is tastefully written when it could easily be a clopfic. However, I find the descriptions to be a bit to long for my taste at times. All in all, I find this to be a unique and interesting story with two characters I can see being friends even with only these two chapters written. I will definitely be following this story and wish you the best of luck.
As far as we know from the show, the culture of Equestria is much like ours (A Utopian version of it anyway) and at least in my view, cannot excuse this kind of selfish behavior.
Sorry, you lost credibility when you said 'as far as we know from the show'
The show is as reliable a source of information as the back of a cereal box is on the mating habits of bumblebees.
3219428 What I am trying to say is that the shows culture in its social structure is much similar to that of our own. Traits such as kindness, honesty and loyalty are in high regard so its pretty safe to assume that relationships of a more intimate nature will appeal to this.
3214780 Well, that seems a tad unfair, doesn't it? Hating a character by virtue of their deeds & desires over their nature. I think it's too early in the story to conclusively say whether you're right or wrong. All we know for sure is that she really wants a kid. And that she's been trying for a really long time. And she'll do anything to have one.
That said, once she finally has a kid, I expect she'd be an amazing mother. I'm probably assuming a lot for so soon - this is a sadfic, after all. Hopefully not a tragedy? - so as always, we pretty much have to adopt a 'wait and read' policy.
Sure, she's selfish and doesn't care about the stallions she ruts. But I look at it this way; Her wish is a pure one, one of the purest wishes I can think of. What is more noble than wanting to bring life to the world? More pure than wanting to just be a mother?
She wants only to experienced that which she has been robbed of since birth, something that is taken for granted by the vast majority of other mares. I'd say her redeeming feature is just that; That she wants to give birth to her own child.
3222314 Also gotta agree here. We've seen so little of Viola so far, I think it's a bit early to judge her character based on what we know after such a short time.
Interestingly her constant changing of partners may make her less likely to conceive. Repeated insemination from the same male gives the females body a chance to get used to the foreign proteins and reduces the chance of her body rejecting the foetus if it does implant. In addition sperm from different males try to block each other reducing the chance of conception.
Of course if she's not ovulating these factors aren't going to effect her chances but it sounds like she ovulates infrequently and is trying to catch the right moment in which case they will be important.
And here I am lecturing about reproductive biology of cartoon equines, its an interesting life.
Oh good, just as I finished the first chapter!
Is the reason she's doing this because she wants a natural birth?
Well, nevertheless, some slight back story, I suppose. So yay for that.
I need a map, because I have not the slightest idea where this is heading...
And also, if she's looking for a birth, why doesn't she go to a lab and use that method where they combine the cells and then put them back in? I don't remember the name, or the process of the method, so forgive me if I am just rambling at this point..
And hurry up and upload the next chapter of TGA 2, Executor.
You know Vi, maybe there's more going on then just 'rut every stallion you see'.
Maybe... you need to find the right stallion.
Oh... and I bet Comet's been there a few times, right?
Dude, you gave me my love for bat ponies. Thank you!
3214423
Artificial insemination is the name of the process, and it's the application of male sperm to the female egg, which is then implanted in the uterus for proper child growth (I'm no scientist, so don't quote me on this. Google's there, do some research.) That also would not work, as it's her that's infertile. They'd have to get both an egg from another female, and sperm from another male, then use her uterus as the birth area. This wouldn't really be 'natural' as her DNA isn't contributing to the process.
Still, it's an available method if she decides to go that route.
That is, of course, assuming Equestria is anywhere near that state in medical technology. Humans are pretty advanced thus far, and we've only just made that method available. And you know how trained the docs are and how exact the machinery is.
I don't think I'd want a unicorn going anywhere near the very specific cells in my wife's body, just so they can do artificial insemination. That'd be... well, they're pretty small targets, I'll say that much.
Also, I've really gotta ask.
If batpony mares are so infertile, why haven't stallions started going outside the colony and having kids? That's the only way I can see this species surviving is if the stallions don't only bed batponies.
Could be an alternate story Dark route for this as well, with the batponies actually kidnapping fertile mares from around the colony, just so they can keep their species alive until someone finds a solution to their fertility problem.
3214584
Because going outside of the colony to have foals will not necessarily result in bat ponies. Thus, the stallions are encouraged to mate with the fertile ones to keep the species as a whole alive.
3214604
Worth a shot anyway. Though I suppose the Dark route would be more suited to this situation, since the stallions could just keep trying and trying until they get something right.
And even then, it's not totally certain it'd work. So maybe being an infertile mare is better than being fertile?
3214609
And that's the delicious irony I've been playing at in this series.
3214618
Not bad. The plot still makes no sense unless the fertile mares are near-constantly pregnant (which would likely lead to a lot of problems as you said), and batponies would be furiously protective of their territory, but not bad on the irony.
3214627
And that goes back to the original story that started this, The Golden Armor. Yes, the fertile mares are always pregnant and the colonies are very protective of them, which is why my other bat pony OC, Angel, is as far away from her colony as she can be.
Aww.... poor Vi... for some reason, I think a deal with the demons of Tartarus is in order. Maybe even have a demon BE the father. I quote Nick Cage, Ghost Rider 2:
Sorry, couldn't pass up the chance. I like this story, keep it up!
Why is she so afraid of the Clinics? And if so many bat ponies are becoming infertile, how is the Bat pony race still around? Is this a recent development or something? And hasn't anybody tried LOOKING for what it is that is wrong with them? Some kind of disease or something?
3214736
All questions that will be answered in good time. However, I think her flashback made it obvious why she doesn't like clinics or, more specifically, doctors.
I'm guessing that IVF hasn't come to mind yet? Either way, I like it!
Urrrg It makes me sad because I really like you as an writer but this main character is completely unlikeable! Almost hateful!
I mean she has almost no redeeming qualities, she wants to use as many guys as she can grasp in order to fuel her selfish desire to have a kid and not care about the father in the slightest. She sees guys as nothing but walking sperm dispensers, I mean she does not even remember the stallions face or name for goodness sake!
I know that this might but a point of character growth but the thing is that she shows no desire to change her attitude at all and no other positive qualities I can rally for.
I'll continue to read for now but I am not liking this character at all, I just hope that growth in her character will occur rather quickly.
3214780
Well, it's a challenge for me to take completely unlikable characters and have the readers connect to them, so thank you for sticking around.
3214743 Not really. It gives me the idea that she is afraid somebody would find her infertile there, but it was also a clinic that said she WAS fertile. I don't really see any reason for her to be afraid of doctors. Infertility? definitely. Doctors? No.
And given her lifestyle, a doctor would be a REALLY good thing to have around, so she can get treated in case she catches something that WILL make her infertile.
3214788
I enjoy your writing so I will continue to read, its just gonna take a while to get used to this
bitchcharacter .I suppose the longer the fall the greater the rise.
I must say, I always find myself curious when reading comments on stories; rather than waiting and finding out why some things are the way they are over time, many people feel the need to ask and learn early why. To me, that's like reading the end of a book before even starting.
I simply find myself holding out with baited breath, eager to learn more, but at the author's behest.
Women be wack, yo.
3212981 I think I'll pass, thanks...
this don't sound right yet I kinda want to read it...
Excellent start, going to be interesting where this goes.
3214718
At first glance, I read "Maybe even have a demon BE Nick Cage".
3214788 what's with people's sock fetishes?
You have my attention... Use it wisely
3215070. HAHAHA LOL...Sounds like a sad story...I can hear taps playing right now...no srsly I live next to air force base its 10:00 P:M lights out. Burrrrr burr burrrrrrrrrr....but burr burrrrrrr....burrr burr burrrrrrrrr burr burr burrrrrrrrrrr burrr burrrr burr burrrrrrrrr...burrburrrrrrrrrr.
3214780. Hahaha I bet tons of women are going to be able to relate to this character! you explained some people I know perfectly.
Okay so far if she doesn't find some pony she actully loves I'm quitting this story.sex without love is a bird that cannot fly.
3216971 actually sex itself is just something all creatures do on instinct. In fact: love can be argued was just invented by our brains because humans can defy instincts and we needed a reason to justify it.
So your example is more like a bird without talon nails. Still totally works, but unable to do everything is it meant to nor defend itself well from others.
3214780
Is it wrong then that I like the character a lot?
3213412
Hi Bob. *Merlos waves*
That being said....yeah she needs something.
Heroic traits.
Shown to actually be good with kids so she could adopt and is just being stupid about it.
can hold a drink
a feminist
something.
I like this girl. Go girl go! Keep up the good work with this story.
3217038
Its not wrong at all.
The great thing about literacy in itself is that if you have your own reasons to back it up then you are allowed to argue anything!
Though I do question what traits you actually like about the character because I can't find any!
3216773
It depends on how twisted your feminine views are. It sounds like some of the girls you know are extreme feminists (or femi-nazis to be comedic) who want men completely off the planet and to just store their sperm in banks. However this is the minority.
3217459
She just wants to love, misguided though it is.
Aren't we all a little misguided in things, love of course not being the least of those things? I like seeing that sort of thing in mlp characters from time to time myself, because it is such an innocent world.
But I usually make the argument people make the mlp world TOO much like ours. Very few authors write it in a way that reflects its roots. Still, occasionally I can forget 95% of mlp fanfics aren't at all innocent and enjoy something for what it is.
Hmmm
Shaping up to be interesting
3217474
I see what you are trying to say but it just does not sit right with me at all.
Misguided love to my eyes is along the lines of Harley Quinn, she is insane and she is an awful person with no regard for human life but she is doing it for Joker, her love. Which is why it works because it is for her own twisted interpretation of love.
Viola is not doing it for love, shes doing it just to get a foal with zero regard for the other member of the party. I see that as no different than a man sleeping with a girl and never calling her again.
Character Y has sex with character X just to get something Y wants (for Viola its a foal, for the male in my hypothetical story its pleasure).
I don't see your culture argument either. As far as we know from the show, the culture of Equestria is much like ours (A Utopian version of it anyway) and at least in my view, cannot excuse this kind of selfish behavior.
A batpony story?
i42.tinypic.com/34imxdf.png
It is always nice to see more batpony stories
This is actually a very intriguing story.
In fact, I don't think I've ever read a fic even similar to this.
The need to breed and desire to be sired despite her infertile hurtle.
I like it. It is tastefully written when it could easily be a clopfic.
However, I find the descriptions to be a bit to long for my taste at times.
All in all, I find this to be a unique and interesting story with two characters I can see being friends even with only these two chapters written.
I will definitely be following this story and wish you the best of luck.
3218489
Sorry, you lost credibility when you said 'as far as we know from the show'
The show is as reliable a source of information as the back of a cereal box is on the mating habits of bumblebees.
3219042
Just change the water. It'll work eventually.
At least, that's Viola's philosophy.
3219428
What I am trying to say is that the shows culture in its social structure is much similar to that of our own.
Traits such as kindness, honesty and loyalty are in high regard so its pretty safe to assume that relationships of a more intimate nature will appeal to this.
3219428 Which, implying that fanon is more significant than canon, is pretty hilarious when you think about it! :)
3214780
Well, that seems a tad unfair, doesn't it? Hating a character by virtue of their deeds & desires over their nature.
I think it's too early in the story to conclusively say whether you're right or wrong. All we know for sure is that she really wants a kid. And that she's been trying for a really long time. And she'll do anything to have one.
That said, once she finally has a kid, I expect she'd be an amazing mother. I'm probably assuming a lot for so soon - this is a sadfic, after all. Hopefully not a tragedy? - so as always, we pretty much have to adopt a 'wait and read' policy.
3214780>>3214788
And here I am... Liking Viola.
Sure, she's selfish and doesn't care about the stallions she ruts. But I look at it this way; Her wish is a pure one, one of the purest wishes I can think of. What is more noble than wanting to bring life to the world? More pure than wanting to just be a mother?
She wants only to experienced that which she has been robbed of since birth, something that is taken for granted by the vast majority of other mares. I'd say her redeeming feature is just that; That she wants to give birth to her own child.
3222314
Also gotta agree here. We've seen so little of Viola so far, I think it's a bit early to judge her character based on what we know after such a short time.
Great story, I can really tell there was a lot of work put into this story. Keep up the good writing.
Interestingly her constant changing of partners may make her less likely to conceive. Repeated insemination from the same male gives the females body a chance to get used to the foreign proteins and reduces the chance of her body rejecting the foetus if it does implant. In addition sperm from different males try to block each other reducing the chance of conception.
Of course if she's not ovulating these factors aren't going to effect her chances but it sounds like she ovulates infrequently and is trying to catch the right moment in which case they will be important.
And here I am lecturing about reproductive biology of cartoon equines, its an interesting life.
3219593 I have a feeling she is going to get pregnant and im going to be like Well, shit it sucks being wrong
I like this. Will keep track!