One: Yay! Plush is back, and Viola's kinda sorta giving her a chance. Maybe... Two: Also, I have a feeling that Plush is going to be feeling a bit of heart-break soon.
3321778 sorry, forgot to add my personal comment to that. Edited just before you posted this. But yes, I do like it. I like how she's broken enough that she can't just ask for help, she needs to earn it and she only seems to know how to earn it by other methods. I am also impressed at how well you're skirting the line between mature and teen.
I actually really liked this chapter as it reminded me of an old conversation I had with a friend when she was struggling with her sexuality. She was so terribly gay but kept forcing herself to be with men because it was the "right" way to be. I am really torn when it comes to what I want out of this story, but I think that I don't care anymore because its just being told so well. Thanks for all the conflicting feels Comet Burst, have a moustachioed Spike
My guess is either A) Viola gets pregnant, and gets into a relationship with Plush, B) She gets pregnant but doesn't pursue anything more than friends, or C) She disregards having a foal and goes straight for Plush.
I'm hoping B, myself. Does that make me a bad person?
Basically, I was all like, WTF that foreign singing part. I thought of her bending back her lips like a horse usually does, then moving her tongue to press against where the gums meet the lips at the top.
I.. Welll.... I...suppose... It...was odd how she didn't just ASK. What would she even looking for? Ah fine, I can't say I wasn't expecting it, I mean we all saw it coming from a mile away.
Holy hell is Plush adorable. I have such a weakness for adorkable and eager characters.
I admit though, as much as manipulative, seductive bat ponies chasing mares might be relevant to my interests, I sort of wanted to slap Viola upside the head. Kinda hard. It's no huge surprise that she can't bring herself to ask for help, but yeesh, did she ever jump on the villain bandwagon for this one.
Heck, even once things became far less... distressing, there's still a real undercurrent of manipulation about it. Of leading poor Plush on for very false reasons.
All that being said, don't stop.
Yes, Viola is acting like a complete, manipulative bitch. But I'm glad that you're willing to have your protagonist be very (very) imperfect. Especially for something she's dangerously obsessed about. I have absolutely no trouble buying into her reasons for doing what she's doing.
Um. Yeah. This chapter happened. It felt like all of the other ones. The pacing did feel like it quickened. I expected the ending of this one by the next chapter(or when our week long period was up for Viola's ovulation). But, it's all good. You're the writer. I'm just your humble reader.
3322804 Read into Viola's character and remember what was said in the last chapter, and early in this chapter.
Viola needs an Earth Pony mare to have a foal of her own. Without that Earth Pony mare's magic, she won't be able to conceive when she finally is with a stallion while ovulating.
Now, Viola is an emotional wreck at the moment, suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and with how she's lived the past seven years of her life... she's what most would call a whore, a slut. She's an expert in seduction and flirting, it's the only thing she really knows how to do. Because of her emotional state, she cannot just ask for the help, she feels the need to seduce the help out of the only earth pony mare she really knows; Plush.
I find it really enjoying seeing Viola going through this conflict, especially when considering the oddities that are forming from it, i.e. scared of becoming mother after wanting to be one for so long, and more. Chapter felt rushed in the beginning but otherwise felt very well done in portraying the chaos of emotions flowing through Viola and the crazy logic in her mind, i.e. why didn't she just ask her?
What? I thought Viola was straight, not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). but... now she's i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/620/764/82b.gif with Plush? You're a strange one, Comet... a strange one indeed.
3322944 Well, it DOES include females, so personally I...guess it's alright...I mean, if you got a boner over stallions then you would REALLY be fucked, my friend. Not that I have a problem with gays or lesbians, of course.
You can get the same answer by asking why it isn't neccissary. It kind of makes more sense as she needs an earth mare and so can accidently grow feelings towards her when she never intended to do so.
Viola's feelings about her mother and her sudden acceptance of Plush are somewhat rushed. However, it fits the pacing of the story. You haven't dwelled too long on such moments of reverence before. I perceive this as you having a goal here, and not wanting to languish in emotional embellishment. If you do, the pace of your story is going to slow down a bit, and your chapters would necessarily become more unevenly paced. But hey, if that fits the characters' emotional progression, then go for it.
I don't think this is rushed in my opinion. Plush was introduced in an earlier chapter and the plot device was met however the idea that she had about asking another mare first would best suit the general census of the readers. I would have hoped she would have made an attempt to get a mare prior to plush being a last ditch effort but in the same sense it doesn't seem like she wants plush to know her problem in which case I see a conflict in their relationship because she already shows resentment for going straight to plush and would he an interesting spin on things 8f you exploited it.
good reading though since ive favorited it and bravo for keeping my interest.
I honestly never imagined myself enjoying a story like this so much. But what Viola is going through emotionally is portrayed so realistically, that I actually feel sad reading what she's going through. And it kills me just waiting for the next part. Don't feel rushed though, this chapter is just as good as the rest.
Though I've never really been one for passionate love in stories, I always find myself entranced by this story. Viola can be EXTREMELY seductive and distracting... Though it appears that she truly nauseated by the idea of her false filly-foolery. I can't say what I truly feel about this story as my emotions feel like a cocktail of happiness, sadness, lust?, trance, and a hint of confusion... 5 / 5 stars
Sorry for the late read... I've been sick and I didn't want to read this half asleep.
Rushed? Not the chapter. Viola is rushing things, reacting instead of thinking, acting before her brain has had a say. The pace of the chapter was accurate to Viola's point of view. And the mother thing was brilliant to my mind: a Chekov's gun of sorts, and the sudden switch a perfect symbol (demonstration?) for Viola's chaotic emotional state.
Overall: Viola is the most human character you've written yet. Be proud.
Okay this was a good part to the story, I totally called what was going to happen next but i wasn't expecting Viola to be such a bitch when it came to the nitty gritty.
3322014 That's kind of sad. Not that I'm in favor of certain things, but it doesn't seem like that would be good for this friend of yours or the guy(s) in question.
That bit there with Plush at the end threw me for a loop. It's really sad that Viola is messing with her this way (at least that's what it seems like). She really should have just explained. Poor messed up ponies.... I hope you're going to resolve all of this eventually.
*cue usual comments about quick escalation and moar*
I like how she can't bring herself to just ASK for the help, she needs to seduce it out of her
3321772
So... did you like it?
One: Yay! Plush is back, and Viola's kinda sorta giving her a chance. Maybe...
Two: Also, I have a feeling that Plush is going to be feeling a bit of heart-break soon.
Wonderful stuff as usual, good sir!
3321778 sorry, forgot to add my personal comment to that. Edited just before you posted this. But yes, I do like it. I like how she's broken enough that she can't just ask for help, she needs to earn it and she only seems to know how to earn it by other methods. I am also impressed at how well you're skirting the line between mature and teen.
... list of reactions.
So, is Viola slowly going to start to fall in love with this mare, or not? It would be an interesting transition from Straight to Bi.
...I'm okay with this development.
So how is Plush going to make her fertile by having sex?
3321950
Put simply, she's not.
3321950
I'm wondering that myself. At least Plush ended up being an incredibly important part of the story, instead of a plot trigger.
I was waiting for this~ When is the next chapter due to come out?
I actually really liked this chapter as it reminded me of an old conversation I had with a friend when she was struggling with her sexuality. She was so terribly gay but kept forcing herself to be with men because it was the "right" way to be. I am really torn when it comes to what I want out of this story, but I think that I don't care anymore because its just being told so well. Thanks for all the conflicting feels Comet Burst, have a moustachioed Spike
Hell yeah!
New chapter!
Plush is back!
Loved.every.minute!
Wow.
My guess is either A) Viola gets pregnant, and gets into a relationship with Plush, B) She gets pregnant but doesn't pursue anything more than friends, or C) She disregards having a foal and goes straight for Plush.
I'm hoping B, myself. Does that make me a bad person?
It was nice!
Basically, I was all like, WTF that foreign singing part. I thought of her bending back her lips like a horse usually does, then moving her tongue to press against where the gums meet the lips at the top.
3321797
Of course. you can't have someone that attached to someone else and expect them not to get hurt in some way. the downside of obsession as it were.
the real question is will it end "well"
3321972
Is this a F/F fic ?
I..
Welll....
I...suppose...
It...was odd how she didn't just ASK. What would she even looking for?
Ah fine, I can't say I wasn't expecting it, I mean we all saw it coming from a mile away.
Now lets see where this heads.
I'm not gonna argue with lesbian ponies, but why was this necessary?
Really enjoyed this chapter, I didn't feel it was rushed. Can't wait for the next.
Holy hell is Plush adorable.
I have such a weakness for adorkable and eager characters.
I admit though, as much as manipulative, seductive bat ponies chasing mares might be relevant to my interests, I sort of wanted to slap Viola upside the head. Kinda hard. It's no huge surprise that she can't bring herself to ask for help, but yeesh, did she ever jump on the villain bandwagon for this one.
Heck, even once things became far less... distressing, there's still a real undercurrent of manipulation about it. Of leading poor Plush on for very false reasons.
All that being said, don't stop.
Yes, Viola is acting like a complete, manipulative bitch. But I'm glad that you're willing to have your protagonist be very (very) imperfect. Especially for something she's dangerously obsessed about. I have absolutely no trouble buying into her reasons for doing what she's doing.
Um. Yeah. This chapter happened. It felt like all of the other ones. The pacing did feel like it quickened. I expected the ending of this one by the next chapter(or when our week long period was up for Viola's ovulation). But, it's all good. You're the writer. I'm just your humble reader.
3322804
Read into Viola's character and remember what was said in the last chapter, and early in this chapter.
Viola needs an Earth Pony mare to have a foal of her own. Without that Earth Pony mare's magic, she won't be able to conceive when she finally is with a stallion while ovulating.
Now, Viola is an emotional wreck at the moment, suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and with how she's lived the past seven years of her life... she's what most would call a whore, a slut. She's an expert in seduction and flirting, it's the only thing she really knows how to do. Because of her emotional state, she cannot just ask for the help, she feels the need to seduce the help out of the only earth pony mare she really knows; Plush.
That is why this is necessary.
I love how nearly every fic I read has the main character do something drastic instead of just asking.
I find it really enjoying seeing Viola going through this conflict, especially when considering the oddities that are forming from it, i.e. scared of becoming mother after wanting to be one for so long, and more. Chapter felt rushed in the beginning but otherwise felt very well done in portraying the chaos of emotions flowing through Viola and the crazy logic in her mind, i.e. why didn't she just ask her?
Is it wrong that I got a boner from this chapter?
It is?
Well shit.
What? I thought Viola was straight, not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). but... now she's
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/620/764/82b.gif
with Plush? You're a strange one, Comet... a strange one indeed.
Yay for adorable Plush
3322944
Well, it DOES include females, so personally I...guess it's alright...I mean, if you got a boner over stallions then you would REALLY be fucked, my friend. Not that I have a problem with gays or lesbians, of course.
3322335
I pictured it more as when a cat pulls its cheeks and lips back to click at birds or squirrels.
3322804
You can get the same answer by asking why it isn't neccissary.
It kind of makes more sense as she needs an earth mare and so can accidently grow feelings towards her when she never intended to do so.
*Sqwee* So cute.
I sort of foresee in the future Viola and Plush being together raising the bat pony foal. If that does happen, then so much kawaii shall be incoming~
Fucking YES.
Viola's feelings about her mother and her sudden acceptance of Plush are somewhat rushed. However, it fits the pacing of the story. You haven't dwelled too long on such moments of reverence before. I perceive this as you having a goal here, and not wanting to languish in emotional embellishment. If you do, the pace of your story is going to slow down a bit, and your chapters would necessarily become more unevenly paced.
But hey, if that fits the characters' emotional progression, then go for it.
When the sex scene came up
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/popcorn_the_it_crowd.gif
Yes MORE MORE. This is AMAZING.
I don't think this is rushed in my opinion. Plush was introduced in an earlier chapter and the plot device was met however the idea that she had about asking another mare first would best suit the general census of the readers. I would have hoped she would have made an attempt to get a mare prior to plush being a last ditch effort but in the same sense it doesn't seem like she wants plush to know her problem in which case I see a conflict in their relationship because she already shows resentment for going straight to plush and would he an interesting spin on things 8f you exploited it.
good reading though since ive favorited it and bravo for keeping my interest.
Plush blush! Sorry, sounded cute to me.
This could actually prove interesting, and I wonder if viola will return to the colony
I honestly never imagined myself enjoying a story like this so much. But what Viola is going through emotionally is portrayed so realistically, that I actually feel sad reading what she's going through. And it kills me just waiting for the next part. Don't feel rushed though, this chapter is just as good as the rest.
Once again great chapter! Please don't stop typing
Though I've never really been one for passionate love in stories, I always find myself entranced by this story. Viola can be EXTREMELY seductive and distracting... Though it appears that she truly nauseated by the idea of her false filly-foolery. I can't say what I truly feel about this story as my emotions feel like a cocktail of happiness, sadness, lust?, trance, and a hint of confusion...
5 / 5 stars
Sorry for the late read... I've been sick and I didn't want to read this half asleep.
Rushed? Not the chapter. Viola is rushing things, reacting instead of thinking, acting before her brain has had a say. The pace of the chapter was accurate to Viola's point of view. And the mother thing was brilliant to my mind: a Chekov's gun of sorts, and the sudden switch a perfect symbol (demonstration?) for Viola's chaotic emotional state.
Overall: Viola is the most human character you've written yet. Be proud.
Okay this was a good part to the story, I totally called what was going to happen next but i wasn't expecting Viola to be such a bitch when it came to the nitty gritty.
Sorry for the put down Viola. I love you!!!
3322014
That's kind of sad. Not that I'm in favor of certain things, but it doesn't seem like that would be good for this friend of yours or the guy(s) in question.
That bit there with Plush at the end threw me for a loop. It's really sad that Viola is messing with her this way (at least that's what it seems like). She really should have just explained. Poor messed up ponies.... I hope you're going to resolve all of this eventually.
is it weird that Violet reminds me of Yuno Gasai?
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120128011752/futurediary/images/a/a5/YunoYandereFace.jpg
3371164 ha ha. Buck you too Trixie.